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I get this

TEXAS AIM Jay Arnold @CoachJayArnold Taco Bell is the only fast food place I roll up to with no ordering game plan. I just let the menu speak to me. The Bell will tell me what I need. My mouth may be moving but I am just the instrument of a supreme design. 29.7K
TEXAS AIM Jay Arnold @CoachJayArnold Taco Bell is the only fast food place I roll up to with no ordering game plan. I just let the menu speak to me. The Bell will tell me what I need. My mouth may be moving but I am just the instrument of a supreme design. 29.7K

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brand new sentence oddly specific /r/brandnewsentence weird sentences taco bell

Must have...

Ron Rule @ronrule 10/9/24 How did we get from the 90's to here? 200 People got along, nobody cared about race, life was affordable, entertainment wasn't laced with agendas, wealth was something to aspire to not scoff at, and divisive politics hadn't permeated everything. The world was better. What happened? 21K 10K 70K 11M 1 | Love Live Sup... Follow @Nljigakulive You must've gone thru the 90s blindfolded. 5:15 PM 10/11/24 54 Views
Ron Rule @ronrule 10/9/24 How did we get from the 90's to here? 200 People got along, nobody cared about race, life was affordable, entertainment wasn't laced with agendas, wealth was something to aspire to not scoff at, and divisive politics hadn't permeated everything. The world was better. What happened? 21K 10K 70K 11M 1 | Love Live Sup... Follow @Nljigakulive You must've gone thru the 90s blindfolded. 5:15 PM 10/11/24 54 Views

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rare insults /r/rareinsults

The true skill

Bob Golen @BobGolen I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine. • 8:34 AM 2/3/25.5K Views
Bob Golen @BobGolen I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine. • 8:34 AM 2/3/25.5K Views

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Nasty

Adam @YSylon Me: [being water boarded] gross is this Dasani?
Adam @YSylon Me: [being water boarded] gross is this Dasani?

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Fix it

@dad_hard My wife doesn't want to instill her fear of spiders in our kids so she calmly reports them to me like some kinda mafia boss. "Babe, there's a situation near the sink. I need you to take care of it. No loose ends, I want proof when the job is done."
@dad_hard My wife doesn't want to instill her fear of spiders in our kids so she calmly reports them to me like some kinda mafia boss. "Babe, there's a situation near the sink. I need you to take care of it. No loose ends, I want proof when the job is done."

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How could they?

clare @clur19 > I can't believe my parents let me be my own person instead of forcing me to play sports or take some kind of lesson, because now I'm an adult who has no hobbies and no talent.
clare @clur19 > I can't believe my parents let me be my own person instead of forcing me to play sports or take some kind of lesson, because now I'm an adult who has no hobbies and no talent.

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Yup

sloane (sipihkopiyesîs) @cottoncandaddy my dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn't contribute to this house or know what a government is
sloane (sipihkopiyesîs) @cottoncandaddy my dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn't contribute to this house or know what a government is

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It's morally good, though

Nikhil Krishnan ✔ @nikillinit My favorite part about farmers market is when cutting the middleman out makes the veggies more expensive
Nikhil Krishnan ✔ @nikillinit My favorite part about farmers market is when cutting the middleman out makes the veggies more expensive

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He tried

garce @hellogcoo a guy i work with told me his old housemate tried to rollerblade to the airport once so he wouldn't have to pay for a cab and missed his flight by TWO HOURS, i haven't stopped thinking about it
garce @hellogcoo a guy i work with told me his old housemate tried to rollerblade to the airport once so he wouldn't have to pay for a cab and missed his flight by TWO HOURS, i haven't stopped thinking about it

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Intellects

Jeanette Hayes @jeanettehayes Listening in on 14yos on the train. after school and one of them just said: "bro you didn't even try fresh basil until you were like 12, you have no credibility in this conversation" and the rest of them started roaring laughing
Jeanette Hayes @jeanettehayes Listening in on 14yos on the train. after school and one of them just said: "bro you didn't even try fresh basil until you were like 12, you have no credibility in this conversation" and the rest of them started roaring laughing

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Pranked

mimi @mimicollision Once I went to a party with my husband, full of people he knew (from work) but I didn't. A guy came up to us, turned to me and said "You must be his wife." | turned to my husband and said "You have a WIFE?" Should've seen the guy's face!
mimi @mimicollision Once I went to a party with my husband, full of people he knew (from work) but I didn't. A guy came up to us, turned to me and said "You must be his wife." | turned to my husband and said "You have a WIFE?" Should've seen the guy's face!

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So stressful

Marcy G @BunAndLeggings My 5yo can't drive her pretend car because she can't find her driver's license that she made out of 000 cardboard. She's stressing because she doesn't know how she's going to take her babies to the park. Her pretend play is too real. I'm stressing with her.
Marcy G @BunAndLeggings My 5yo can't drive her pretend car because she can't find her driver's license that she made out of 000 cardboard. She's stressing because she doesn't know how she's going to take her babies to the park. Her pretend play is too real. I'm stressing with her.

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"Post withheld in all countries in response to a legal demand"

Ten @CreamyFoxGirls Feds got his ass let's go THE HOLY BIBLE + DOGANS THE HOLY BIBLE + c---- @cunny_tamariki - 19h As someone who dated an 11yo when I was 17 this is stupid as s--- Imao Show this thread 6:26 pm 11 Feb 25 3,102 Views 5:15 PM Feb 11, 2025 102.9K Views This Post from @cunny_tamariki has been withheld in all countries in response to a legal demand. Learn more 6:26 pm - 11 Feb 25 3,105 Views
Ten @CreamyFoxGirls Feds got his ass let's go THE HOLY BIBLE + DOGANS THE HOLY BIBLE + c---- @cunny_tamariki - 19h As someone who dated an 11yo when I was 17 this is stupid as s--- Imao Show this thread 6:26 pm 11 Feb 25 3,102 Views 5:15 PM Feb 11, 2025 102.9K Views This Post from @cunny_tamariki has been withheld in all countries in response to a legal demand. Learn more 6:26 pm - 11 Feb 25 3,105 Views

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tweet forced removal moderation confession

Bro...

John Shedletsky ❤ @Shedletsky Silicon Valley built the modern world. Why shouldn't we run it? 6:52 PM 2/3/25 658K Views • 694 17460 Follow 70 ☐ 70 ↑
John Shedletsky ❤ @Shedletsky Silicon Valley built the modern world. Why shouldn't we run it? 6:52 PM 2/3/25 658K Views • 694 17460 Follow 70 ☐ 70 ↑

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america 'murica americans insane americans things americans say facepalm

Wait a second

Cezary Ja... @ostrichson.bsky.social Following I'm playing two chess grandmasters by mail. One as white, the other as black. I just send them each other's moves. They both think I'm a genius. Both invite me to their homes to make love to their wives as they watch from the closet. That's when I secretly charge all my electronics. Free electricity January 4, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Cezary Ja... @ostrichson.bsky.social Following I'm playing two chess grandmasters by mail. One as white, the other as black. I just send them each other's moves. They both think I'm a genius. Both invite me to their homes to make love to their wives as they watch from the closet. That's when I secretly charge all my electronics. Free electricity January 4, 2025 at 10:57 PM

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madlads mad lads madlad insane people crazy people

Way to be

Will Manidis @WillManidis Follow discovered a buddy from college gaslit himself into loving running by applying a nicotine patch everytime he ran, and only when he ran on his fifth marathon 7:36 pm 26 Nov 2023 7.6M Views 9
Will Manidis @WillManidis Follow discovered a buddy from college gaslit himself into loving running by applying a nicotine patch everytime he ran, and only when he ran on his fifth marathon 7:36 pm 26 Nov 2023 7.6M Views 9

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