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kwame @johlny Do men still open car doors? Boogie. @BoogieMan How do you think we get inside
kwame @johlny Do men still open car doors? Boogie. @BoogieMan How do you think we get inside

Twitter / X
men women cars

Makes it easier to chew

wicked bitch of the MWest @AmandaRNH Friend: I hate frozen pizza Me: I hate frozen pizza too. That's why I put it in the oven for a bit before I eat it. Friend: 6:51 PM · 12/27/20 · Twitter for iPhone
wicked bitch of the MWest @AmandaRNH Friend: I hate frozen pizza Me: I hate frozen pizza too. That's why I put it in the oven for a bit before I eat it. Friend: 6:51 PM · 12/27/20 · Twitter for iPhone

Twitter / X
funny tweet pizza frozen pizza

Daily dose of 'what the fuck are you talking about?'.

I am not inclined to look for the aforementioned user. So I'll post the video that highlighted it.
I am not inclined to look for the aforementioned user. So I'll post the video that highlighted it.

Twitter / X
twitter minority sex slave bill burr interracial marriage nope still racist

one of my avocados hatched last night

zach silberberg @zachsilberberg oh s---. oh f---. one of my avocados hatched last night and i have no idea where it went 4:00 PM · Apr 2, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone
zach silberberg @zachsilberberg oh s---. oh f---. one of my avocados hatched last night and i have no idea where it went 4:00 PM · Apr 2, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

Twitter / X
avocado is this a billie eilish reference billie eilish

cigarette peach

KAONASHI @CAMSQUIAT James? I havent heard that name in years
KAONASHI @CAMSQUIAT James? I havent heard that name in years

Twitter / X
peach funny tweet

will be continued...

... Noemi 8 @noemistauffer Me in 2021 I'M NOT DEAD, THIS IS JUST HOW I LOOK!
... Noemi 8 @noemistauffer Me in 2021 I'M NOT DEAD, THIS IS JUST HOW I LOOK!

Twitter / X
2020 funny meme relatable

very true

twenty-kate-teen @katefeetie ME:I look cute MIRRORS: you look cute STORE WINDOWS: you look cute OTHER PEOPLE: you look cute IPHONE FORWARD-FACING CAMERA: what's up you Shrek-lookin bag of bitch >
twenty-kate-teen @katefeetie ME:I look cute MIRRORS: you look cute STORE WINDOWS: you look cute OTHER PEOPLE: you look cute IPHONE FORWARD-FACING CAMERA: what's up you Shrek-lookin bag of bitch >

Twitter / X
mirrors funny tweet random tweet

Preeeeetty Much Twatter

LORD KSI @KSI Twitter used to be an amazing place where you could connect with people in different communities & communicate without any problems. Now it's just full of pretentious people that are ready to cancel & destroy your legacy for breathing incorrectly. And on that note, I'm out 3:10 AM · Mar 25, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 8,809 Retweets 1,469 Quote Tweets 150.3K Likes
LORD KSI @KSI Twitter used to be an amazing place where you could connect with people in different communities & communicate without any problems. Now it's just full of pretentious people that are ready to cancel & destroy your legacy for breathing incorrectly. And on that note, I'm out 3:10 AM · Mar 25, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 8,809 Retweets 1,469 Quote Tweets 150.3K Likes

Twitter / X
twitter

When the lemon is sus

Roxi Horror 9* @roxiqt When life gives you lemons, give the lemons back. Why were the lemons free? Is something wrong with the lemons? Are the lemons haunted? Be suspicious of the lemons.
Roxi Horror 9* @roxiqt When life gives you lemons, give the lemons back. Why were the lemons free? Is something wrong with the lemons? Are the lemons haunted? Be suspicious of the lemons.

Twitter / X
funny tweet lemons suspicious

Ssssqueak

nate of the living dead @MNateShyamalan [first day as snake oil salesman] are your snakes too damn squeaky
nate of the living dead @MNateShyamalan [first day as snake oil salesman] are your snakes too damn squeaky

Twitter / X
funny tweet snake oil snakes

Sometimes Twitter makes me wanna fucking kill myself.

Sometimes Twitter makes me wanna tucking kill myselfR
Sometimes Twitter makes me wanna tucking kill myselfR

Twitter / X
over or under youtube thebe neruda kgositsile earl sweatshirt game of thrones john stamos overrated underrated reaction image gif pitchfork twitter kill myself

I would've started in the womb

KY @_illxxst Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew life was like this.
KY @_illxxst Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew life was like this.

Twitter / X
growing up money bills funny tweet relatable

that position specifically

Kal of the Golden Deer. @Kaldruen My mom when I opened up a bag of candy in the backseat of the car.
Kal of the Golden Deer. @Kaldruen My mom when I opened up a bag of candy in the backseat of the car.

Twitter / X
moms car driving snacks kids

real relationships

Eric @Eric_Cee_ This is how you know its real J Jessica Hinge > Today 12.47 PIM Happy 10 year anniversary! ?? I said what I said We only started dating in February Feels like 10 years though doesn't it Read 12:47 PM aaa yes happy 10 year anniversary then
Eric @Eric_Cee_ This is how you know its real J Jessica Hinge > Today 12.47 PIM Happy 10 year anniversary! ?? I said what I said We only started dating in February Feels like 10 years though doesn't it Read 12:47 PM aaa yes happy 10 year anniversary then

Twitter / X
dating funny texts

coworkers

sasha jones @tartikovsky coworker used "anyway" as an email sign-off instead of "best" or "warmly" or w/e and honestly that's the only work mood left
sasha jones @tartikovsky coworker used "anyway" as an email sign-off instead of "best" or "warmly" or w/e and honestly that's the only work mood left

Twitter / X
working work

leek under the sink

Tenessa Gemelke @gemelket My son came and got me, saying there was a serious leak under the kitchen sink. abuloso NoStr > Hardy
Tenessa Gemelke @gemelket My son came and got me, saying there was a serious leak under the kitchen sink. abuloso NoStr > Hardy

Twitter / X
funny tweet prank