Twitter / X - Images

Sorted By:

iPad kids...

Follow My friend's toddler babbled "don't forget to subscribe" as he was put to bed. Kid watches so much YouTube he thought it means "goodbye" RETWEETS LIKES 18,327 38,100 8:23 PM-6 May 2017 <-280 27 18K 38K

Follow My friend's toddler babbled "don't forget to subscribe" as he was put to bed. Kid watches so much YouTube he thought it means "goodbye" RETWEETS LIKES 18,327 38,100 8:23 PM-6 May 2017 <-280 27 18K 38K

kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

No more waffles

Mom On The Rocks @mom_ontherocks My toddler ran out of waffles in her pretend restaurant this morning right after she served. everyone besides me and that's about the biggest f you she's ever given

Mom On The Rocks @mom_ontherocks My toddler ran out of waffles in her pretend restaurant this morning right after she served. everyone besides me and that's about the biggest f you she's ever given

kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

That's way better

Bess Kalb @bessbell Follow Thrilled to announce that instead of saying X "What are you doing?" my 2-year-old child goes around asking, in a tiny haunting voice, "What have you done?"

Bess Kalb @bessbell Follow Thrilled to announce that instead of saying X "What are you doing?" my 2-year-old child goes around asking, in a tiny haunting voice, "What have you done?"

kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

He doesn't count

Henpecked Hal @Henpecked Hal · Follow • X Things that made my toddler cry this week: - wants all of her fingers to be the same length - I wouldn't let her eat a sponge - her feet were sandy (we were at the beach) - she doesn't want to be an only child (her brother "does not count") How about your kid?

Henpecked Hal @Henpecked Hal · Follow • X Things that made my toddler cry this week: - wants all of her fingers to be the same length - I wouldn't let her eat a sponge - her feet were sandy (we were at the beach) - she doesn't want to be an only child (her brother "does not count") How about your kid?

kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

Oddly specific...

Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty Told my kids I couldn't find the hot cocoa powder to which my 4yo said, "maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed" which is a suspiciously specific theory. Posted in r/oddlyspecific by u/Sad_Stay_5471 reddit

Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty Told my kids I couldn't find the hot cocoa powder to which my 4yo said, "maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed" which is a suspiciously specific theory. Posted in r/oddlyspecific by u/Sad_Stay_5471 reddit

kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

Go outside, kids

My Life As Dad @milifeasdad Follow 5YO: Daddy, did you play Roblox as a kid? 8YO: *Interrupting* He didn't have Roblox when he was kid. He would just play outside. *Both start laughing* 5:40 PM - May 21, 2023 63.8K Views

My Life As Dad @milifeasdad Follow 5YO: Daddy, did you play Roblox as a kid? 8YO: *Interrupting* He didn't have Roblox when he was kid. He would just play outside. *Both start laughing* 5:40 PM - May 21, 2023 63.8K Views

kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children roblox

Sorry, dino

Viral Tweets. See more Lucy Huber ❤ @clhubes 21h The funniest thing that's ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went "Can you feed me?" and my son, through massive sobs, goes "no I can't right now, dinosaur" and continued screaming 348 t 10K 164.4K go

Viral Tweets. See more Lucy Huber ❤ @clhubes 21h The funniest thing that's ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went "Can you feed me?" and my son, through massive sobs, goes "no I can't right now, dinosaur" and continued screaming 348 t 10K 164.4K go

kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

Dang...

@alanadimario.bsky.social @AlanaDimario Follow Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." 10:51 PM - Jun 20, 2022 from Narragansett, RI

@alanadimario.bsky.social @AlanaDimario Follow Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." 10:51 PM - Jun 20, 2022 from Narragansett, RI

kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

She gets it

Jenn Jordan (she/her) @jennlynnjordan Follow My niece Phoebe (2.5) has been talking about a "mermaid store" for weeks, to everyone's befuddlement. Finally last week she points and yells in the car, "MERMAID STORE, MERMAID STORE"!!" 12:40 PM - 11/21/24 - 289K Views 22 17263 11K 339 ↑ Most relevant replies ✓ Jenn Jordan (she/her) @jennlynnjordan .7h Reader, this was the mermaid store Clearance 14'5 3.$69 99 7-ELEVEN Regular 35 Mare

Jenn Jordan (she/her) @jennlynnjordan Follow My niece Phoebe (2.5) has been talking about a "mermaid store" for weeks, to everyone's befuddlement. Finally last week she points and yells in the car, "MERMAID STORE, MERMAID STORE"!!" 12:40 PM - 11/21/24 - 289K Views 22 17263 11K 339 ↑ Most relevant replies ✓ Jenn Jordan (she/her) @jennlynnjordan .7h Reader, this was the mermaid store Clearance 14'5 3.$69 99 7-ELEVEN Regular 35 Mare

kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

Thanks, kid

Mom Jeans @momjeansplease Follow My son found me crying in the kitchen, wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "Is it because of your hair?" Now I'm crying for two reasons. 10:03 PM 17 Nov 24 2.8M Views • 8,082 Reposts 989 Quotes 152K Likes 2,975 Bookmarks

Mom Jeans @momjeansplease Follow My son found me crying in the kitchen, wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "Is it because of your hair?" Now I'm crying for two reasons. 10:03 PM 17 Nov 24 2.8M Views • 8,082 Reposts 989 Quotes 152K Likes 2,975 Bookmarks

madlads mad lads /r/madlads

Something nice

No Context Brits @NoContextBrits 3d Say something nice about the UK. 8,766 113.3K 7,332 Arup Roychoudhury → @aruproytweets Replying to @NoContextBrits You guys created the largest number of independance days around the world. 8:15 pm 22 Mar 22 Twitter for Android .

No Context Brits @NoContextBrits 3d Say something nice about the UK. 8,766 113.3K 7,332 Arup Roychoudhury → @aruproytweets Replying to @NoContextBrits You guys created the largest number of independance days around the world. 8:15 pm 22 Mar 22 Twitter for Android .

madlads mad lads /r/madlads

Sometimes dads just know

ilaapx Follow some girl just crashed into me and we both didn't know what to do so we called our dads and we're just standing here holding our phones together so our dads can talk to each other

ilaapx Follow some girl just crashed into me and we both didn't know what to do so we called our dads and we're just standing here holding our phones together so our dads can talk to each other

madlads mad lads /r/madlads cars

I get it

coyote @literate_coyote I saw this girl in the train station doing the pspspsps sound to a subway rat and I have never felt closer to another stranger in my life

coyote @literate_coyote I saw this girl in the train station doing the pspspsps sound to a subway rat and I have never felt closer to another stranger in my life

madlads mad lads /r/madlads

Kids...

Dad and Buried @DadandBuried Get married and have kids so instead of literally doing whatever you want all the time you can be forced to schedule every waking moment of your existence around ungrateful banshees who refuse to nap and won't stop eating your potato chips.

Dad and Buried @DadandBuried Get married and have kids so instead of literally doing whatever you want all the time you can be forced to schedule every waking moment of your existence around ungrateful banshees who refuse to nap and won't stop eating your potato chips.

brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

Be the cow

Big Joel @biggestjoel May 1, 2020 where is my cow 2 173 bees 220 ili Follow @BeesAmFriends be the cow you want to own in the world

Big Joel @biggestjoel May 1, 2020 where is my cow 2 173 bees 220 ili Follow @BeesAmFriends be the cow you want to own in the world

brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

A generational dumb guy

Brandon Streussnig @BrndnStrssng Follow Josh Allen plays the game like he has no concept of death and that every play might be the last thing he ever does on earth. A Generational talent. A generational dumb guy. He would've been a star slaying beasts in front of Rome 7:23 p.m. 17 Nov 24 120K Views •

Brandon Streussnig @BrndnStrssng Follow Josh Allen plays the game like he has no concept of death and that every play might be the last thing he ever does on earth. A Generational talent. A generational dumb guy. He would've been a star slaying beasts in front of Rome 7:23 p.m. 17 Nov 24 120K Views •

brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence josh allen

This is all gibberish

jovarca broz @jovarca1000000 - 13h they're turning bulgarians into spaniards jay @MUNCHRIH. 2d His nose job is tea WELLNOSE CLINIC DR. OĞUZHAN OĞUZ 171 173.1K | 63.1K 2.6M □ ∞

jovarca broz @jovarca1000000 - 13h they're turning bulgarians into spaniards jay @MUNCHRIH. 2d His nose job is tea WELLNOSE CLINIC DR. OĞUZHAN OĞUZ 171 173.1K | 63.1K 2.6M □ ∞

brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

Put them to work

Ante D. Luvian @uncle deluge - 13h You hear stories about monkeys/apes in the early 20th century that are like "He could operate a railroad switch, was paid in nuts, would know if you were ripping him off. He wore clothes and drank cognac. Someone swore they heard him talking" and then nothing for a hundred years 233 t 2.1K 51K ihil 1.6M Ante D. Luvian @uncle deluge - 13h Like I'm supposed to be impressed with a 21st century bonobo with a vocabulary of 10 words or something when a baboon was a licensed railroad operator in colonial South Africa and an orangutan was a Hollywood actor who had his own set of studio keys to come and go as he pleased 13 Ante D. Luvian @uncle_deluge 175 10K il 126K Follow Bigotry of low expectations. Monkeys are perfectly capable of being productive members of society and in fact should be put to work

Ante D. Luvian @uncle deluge - 13h You hear stories about monkeys/apes in the early 20th century that are like "He could operate a railroad switch, was paid in nuts, would know if you were ripping him off. He wore clothes and drank cognac. Someone swore they heard him talking" and then nothing for a hundred years 233 t 2.1K 51K ihil 1.6M Ante D. Luvian @uncle deluge - 13h Like I'm supposed to be impressed with a 21st century bonobo with a vocabulary of 10 words or something when a baboon was a licensed railroad operator in colonial South Africa and an orangutan was a Hollywood actor who had his own set of studio keys to come and go as he pleased 13 Ante D. Luvian @uncle_deluge 175 10K il 126K Follow Bigotry of low expectations. Monkeys are perfectly capable of being productive members of society and in fact should be put to work

brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence animals science

Knock on those melons

thomas @thombodytolove i knock on the watermelon to see if it's ripe and hear a knock back. strange.. i cut it open. a small man dressed only in a t-shirt slides out. "thanks fella my fingers were gettin pruney" he somersaults away. the employees yell at me to pay for the melon. why. im a hero 2:55 am - 21 Jul 20 - Twitter for Android 791 Retweets and comments 7,345 Likes

thomas @thombodytolove i knock on the watermelon to see if it's ripe and hear a knock back. strange.. i cut it open. a small man dressed only in a t-shirt slides out. "thanks fella my fingers were gettin pruney" he somersaults away. the employees yell at me to pay for the melon. why. im a hero 2:55 am - 21 Jul 20 - Twitter for Android 791 Retweets and comments 7,345 Likes

brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

It's an odd trend

Roy Drones Jr @chiweethedog. 16h 000 I'm still on the fence on raw milk products. People who seem to believe in race science love raw cream and the people who believe in science prefer pasteurized products. Not sure if I folow this trend or not lauren @mercurygurl. 1d now THAT'S heavy cream TURN GRASSFED, RAW CREAM Min. crude protein 3%, Min. crude fat 3.2%, Guaranteed Analysis: Min. crude fiber 5%. Min. moisture 89.5% Ingredients: Unpasteurized Cream For intermittent feed use only for dogs and cats. NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION Grazier's Harvest Dairy 4373 W 300 N | Delphi, IN 46923 1 Pint (437ML)

Roy Drones Jr @chiweethedog. 16h 000 I'm still on the fence on raw milk products. People who seem to believe in race science love raw cream and the people who believe in science prefer pasteurized products. Not sure if I folow this trend or not lauren @mercurygurl. 1d now THAT'S heavy cream TURN GRASSFED, RAW CREAM Min. crude protein 3%, Min. crude fat 3.2%, Guaranteed Analysis: Min. crude fiber 5%. Min. moisture 89.5% Ingredients: Unpasteurized Cream For intermittent feed use only for dogs and cats. NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION Grazier's Harvest Dairy 4373 W 300 N | Delphi, IN 46923 1 Pint (437ML)

brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence