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“She Might Have Struck A Nerve” (July 16, 2004)

Well, let me tell In a recent interview, Kirsten Dunst wonders why More superheroes don't die, suggesting that Spider-Man be killed in the next film. you SOmething, Spider-Man should like, totally die!! W----! He doesn't DIE, because he's Pucking Spider-Man! You W----! SUNIOH FMae pue yjnyey aHIW POOTO

Well, let me tell In a recent interview, Kirsten Dunst wonders why More superheroes don't die, suggesting that Spider-Man be killed in the next film. you SOmething, Spider-Man should like, totally die!! W----! He doesn't DIE, because he's Pucking Spider-Man! You W----! SUNIOH FMae pue yjnyey aHIW POOTO

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On my way to delete Tik Tok

INTERIOR ΤΙΚΤΟΚ 15A COVERT SURVEILLANCE AGGREGATOR CROCODILE ALLIGATOR www.Penny-Arcade.coM ©2OZO Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

INTERIOR ΤΙΚΤΟΚ 15A COVERT SURVEILLANCE AGGREGATOR CROCODILE ALLIGATOR www.Penny-Arcade.coM ©2OZO Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

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Energy Crisis

Not even then want to even try the game.

Not even then want to even try the game.

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Crichton's Twitter

$I don't think Twitter is good For us. It's like that planet on Star Trek: The Next Generation where the sentence is death, even for minor infractions. Each tweet takes about twenty Minutes. Like, For you I never allow Myself to come in direct contact with Twitter. I tweet through one of those "glove boxes" scientists use in movies where an experiment has gone "horribly wrong." and мe? No. I mean for, like, hомаn beings. www.Penny-Arcade.com ©2O2O Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins$

$I don't think Twitter is good For us. It's like that planet on Star Trek: The Next Generation where the sentence is death, even for minor infractions. Each tweet takes about twenty Minutes. Like, For you I never allow Myself to come in direct contact with Twitter. I tweet through one of those "glove boxes" scientists use in movies where an experiment has gone "horribly wrong." and мe? No. I mean for, like, hомаn beings. www.Penny-Arcade.com ©2O2O Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins$

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Trying Hard

GOD You're so out Of touch You're Missing the nuance of the term. There's no way to talk about the terM "sweaty" without revealing My advanced age. They're Mad because they're in sweaty lobbies, Pull of sweats. And it's all thanks to SBMM Because it really, really SOunds to Me like people use the terM "sweaty" because they're Mad they lost in a video game. You're the same age I ам! Ok booмer. What? www.Penny-Arcade.com 2019 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

GOD You're so out Of touch You're Missing the nuance of the term. There's no way to talk about the terM "sweaty" without revealing My advanced age. They're Mad because they're in sweaty lobbies, Pull of sweats. And it's all thanks to SBMM Because it really, really SOunds to Me like people use the terM "sweaty" because they're Mad they lost in a video game. You're the same age I ам! Ok booмer. What? www.Penny-Arcade.com 2019 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

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Here Comes A New Challenger

Oh! Don't worry about getting in touch with us - we'll get in touch with you. Once you've announced you're coming to SteaM, we'll slide right into your DMS These days, developers have choices. They can sell their gaMe to CUstomers, or they can sell it directly to us - the Epic Game Store. That's right! We Shop Por gaMes on SteaM, just like everybody else. Once we have your gaMe, we'll bury it deep, deep below the Earth where it will be saPe ProM purchase. Your EFI game here! EPIC AMES www.Penny-Arcade.com @2019 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Oh! Don't worry about getting in touch with us - we'll get in touch with you. Once you've announced you're coming to SteaM, we'll slide right into your DMS These days, developers have choices. They can sell their gaMe to CUstomers, or they can sell it directly to us - the Epic Game Store. That's right! We Shop Por gaMes on SteaM, just like everybody else. Once we have your gaMe, we'll bury it deep, deep below the Earth where it will be saPe ProM purchase. Your EFI game here! EPIC AMES www.Penny-Arcade.com @2019 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

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Schooliosis

I Peel like the ESRB needs to get involved! Depictions of School should be right there next to "Tobacco" and "Blood." A I'M seeing all this Fire EMbleM stufP and h--------, I don't want to go back to scChool even in a video gaMe II II I want stark White text on a black background. Put it right there next to the epilepsy warning. WARNING HEALTH AND SAFETY THIS GAME CONTAINS REALISTIC DEPICTIONS OF CLASSES, TEACHERS, AND THE LUNCH ROOM. www.Penny-Arcade.com 2019 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

I Peel like the ESRB needs to get involved! Depictions of School should be right there next to "Tobacco" and "Blood." A I'M seeing all this Fire EMbleM stufP and h--------, I don't want to go back to scChool even in a video gaMe II II I want stark White text on a black background. Put it right there next to the epilepsy warning. WARNING HEALTH AND SAFETY THIS GAME CONTAINS REALISTIC DEPICTIONS OF CLASSES, TEACHERS, AND THE LUNCH ROOM. www.Penny-Arcade.com 2019 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

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They Want What You Have

And claiming ignorance after the Pact won't get you out oP this S---. Trust Me. I'M svper ignorant Few people have signed as Many bad contracts as we have and survived. S0, let us help you out. Don't "be nice." "Being nice" just Makes you a juicebox Por vaMpires. Their livelihood depends on theM Stealing the best years oP your liPe, and then changing you out When your Mind gives way Is someone trying to Make you Sign something? Then assuMe this person has been sent by the Devil to destroy you. And it hasn't helped at all. WWW Penny-Arcade .сом 2019 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

And claiming ignorance after the Pact won't get you out oP this S---. Trust Me. I'M svper ignorant Few people have signed as Many bad contracts as we have and survived. S0, let us help you out. Don't "be nice." "Being nice" just Makes you a juicebox Por vaMpires. Their livelihood depends on theM Stealing the best years oP your liPe, and then changing you out When your Mind gives way Is someone trying to Make you Sign something? Then assuMe this person has been sent by the Devil to destroy you. And it hasn't helped at all. WWW Penny-Arcade .сом 2019 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

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Politics 2018

edit more of a crop really

Orbituary

Now he's conPerring with the Shadow Council, that Peared body which enunciates the True Law. Yes, it appears we do have a ruling Let's go down to the table. The albar was still Moist With Morning dew. The Owlbears are challenging the ruling, saying the Pireball Should have Set the Porest altar ablaze. The ruling Stands The Rep is gazing into his scrying orb www.penny-Arcade.сом 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Now he's conPerring with the Shadow Council, that Peared body which enunciates the True Law. Yes, it appears we do have a ruling Let's go down to the table. The albar was still Moist With Morning dew. The Owlbears are challenging the ruling, saying the Pireball Should have Set the Porest altar ablaze. The ruling Stands The Rep is gazing into his scrying orb www.penny-Arcade.сом 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins

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dSports

The Orlando Owlbears Hoo! You know, I didn't think Dungeons and Dragons was gonna work as an esport. are having just a Pantastic Season. That's right, Moch oP that due to their rookie paladin Scintillia the Radiant. She has truly becoMe a vessel Por Lathander's will And, as yoU know, the Owlbears always get a Boost Prom the Roost. Can we hear it? But I was wrong! No, you're til wrong. WWW Penny-Arcade .сом 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

The Orlando Owlbears Hoo! You know, I didn't think Dungeons and Dragons was gonna work as an esport. are having just a Pantastic Season. That's right, Moch oP that due to their rookie paladin Scintillia the Radiant. She has truly becoMe a vessel Por Lathander's will And, as yoU know, the Owlbears always get a Boost Prom the Roost. Can we hear it? But I was wrong! No, you're til wrong. WWW Penny-Arcade .сом 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

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Incentivism

Did you catch any oP that Fortnite tournaMent? It turns out that adding a proPound payout kinda warps the vibe. Well, yeah. Without consequences, Honger Games would just be Katniss and Rue blowing through Tilted in a Shopping cart. The whole thing becomes a Highlights style hidden picture game. Like, "How many players can you spot? WWW Penny-Arcade .сом 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Did you catch any oP that Fortnite tournaMent? It turns out that adding a proPound payout kinda warps the vibe. Well, yeah. Without consequences, Honger Games would just be Katniss and Rue blowing through Tilted in a Shopping cart. The whole thing becomes a Highlights style hidden picture game. Like, "How many players can you spot? WWW Penny-Arcade .сом 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

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I Feel It Still

Around Mid-July, I start getting gruesoMe Plashbacks oP the years we attended San Diego COMİC Con I'm there again. I don't know iP the person in Pront oP Me Smells like S--- on hot beeP They're running out. The plastic is alMost gone! You got the last one. It's a labyrinth! But the walls are people. I got it? I think I have PTSDCC. Yeah, buddy. The person behind you is super Mad. I'M in line Por soMething! I don't know what it is. But Ill KILL TO GET IT! WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Around Mid-July, I start getting gruesoMe Plashbacks oP the years we attended San Diego COMİC Con I'm there again. I don't know iP the person in Pront oP Me Smells like S--- on hot beeP They're running out. The plastic is alMost gone! You got the last one. It's a labyrinth! But the walls are people. I got it? I think I have PTSDCC. Yeah, buddy. The person behind you is super Mad. I'M in line Por soMething! I don't know what it is. But Ill KILL TO GET IT! WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins

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Seattle Cool

I love The Crew 2, but their verSion of Seattle is completely Missing Ballard. It's like, "Oh no. Where aM I gonna get condescended to while I buy a guacamole and arbisinal cheddar ice crea cone Por twenty seven dollars!!'" Hey, a------. I live in Ballard. As Par asI'M concerned? That's a Peature not a bug. I know. WWW Penny-Arcade .сом 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins

I love The Crew 2, but their verSion of Seattle is completely Missing Ballard. It's like, "Oh no. Where aM I gonna get condescended to while I buy a guacamole and arbisinal cheddar ice crea cone Por twenty seven dollars!!'" Hey, a------. I live in Ballard. As Par asI'M concerned? That's a Peature not a bug. I know. WWW Penny-Arcade .сом 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins

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Denouement

SyMMetra and I had a rough patch there Por a bit, it's true You know, but I did what you said. I invested in the relationship. I did the work. I put MyselP back in the arena. Are we still talking about a videogame character? Now, L... I Peel like the love is back, you know? Totally WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

SyMMetra and I had a rough patch there Por a bit, it's true You know, but I did what you said. I invested in the relationship. I did the work. I put MyselP back in the arena. Are we still talking about a videogame character? Now, L... I Peel like the love is back, you know? Totally WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

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Crew 2 4 U

I want to do a соміс about The Crew 2, but I know you are... hesitant to draw cars. Can't we just do a strip Where we're sitting on the couch, talking about the game? That's like nineby percent oP our COMics! Are you saying we've been "copping out" Por twenty years? I hate drawing cars. I don't knoW. I Peel like that's kind oP a cop out. They're Pocking stupid. And you can't Make Me do it! There's an arguMent to be Made. WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins

I want to do a соміс about The Crew 2, but I know you are... hesitant to draw cars. Can't we just do a strip Where we're sitting on the couch, talking about the game? That's like nineby percent oP our COMics! Are you saying we've been "copping out" Por twenty years? I hate drawing cars. I don't knoW. I Peel like that's kind oP a cop out. They're Pocking stupid. And you can't Make Me do it! There's an arguMent to be Made. WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins

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