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If Star Wars Existed in a 1980's High School

WA 1980'S HIGH SCHOOL

WA 1980'S HIGH SCHOOL

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An Open Letter From a Death Star Architect

An Open Letter From a Death Star Architect Hey guys. It's me. The guy who put in the exhaust ports on the Death Star I know, I know What a stupid design flaw!" "You are singlehandedly responsible for the destruction of our ultimate weapon and battlestation! How could ANYONE have made such a huge mistake?! Over the past week, I've gotten a lot of guff from people l considered to be friends and colleagues about how my "shoddy" design would be the downfall of our entire government. Not only that, but I've been force-choked (and regular-choked) by more superiors than I can count (and Human Resources has been VERY reluctant to respond to my complaints about being invisibly strangled by a cyborg space wizard). But I have one response to all of you who blame me for the destruction of the Death Star: Are you F------ serious?77 I mean, do you understand the point of exhaust ports? Do you know HOW MUCH EXHAUST is created by this MOON-SIZED battle station? There were hundreds of floors on that thing. It housed a laser capable of instantly blowing up planets. It needs a LOT of ventilation the fact that I was able to keep those exhaust ports to the size of a womp rat should earn me some credit. Now let's talk a little about what happened at the Battle of Yavin IV. Some farmboy nobody flies down a trench, shoots some bombs out of his X-Wing straight ahead, the bombs take a 90 DEGREE TURN and then they go EXACTLY down the tiny exhaust port, go down miles and miles of insanely narrow pipe and hit the Death Star's core blowing it up Notice anything weird there? First off, 'exhaust doesn't mean s--- gets SUCKED DOWN. It means s--- gets PUSHED UP. That's what it is - it's expelling gas. Outward. As in, not in a direction that would suck down a bomb. If anything, it should have pushed the bombs UP So how'd the bomb take a right angle turn down it? Hmmmm oh I dunno OH THAT'S RIGHT WE LIVE IN A GALAXY WITH MAGIC SPACE WIZARDS. "But Exhaust Port Designer!" you say. "All of the magic space wizards were killed!" Damn, ya got me there OH WAIT THAT'S RIGHT! THE KID WHO TOOK THE SHOT JUST HAPPENED TO BE NAMED 'SKYWALKER.' Yep, same as our leather-daddy asthmatic boss. And he just so happened to be from the same planet as ol' Chokey. And it turns out he wasn't even using his targeting computer when he made the winning shot! What a coincidence And hey! Who was the guy pursuing the computer-less moisture-farmer? Oh, that's right it was Darth Vader, his dad! And he managed to spectacularly fail at taking out this first-time pilot, who just so happened to be his son. And know what else is weird? Darth Vader was the only survivor of the Death Star explosion! And with the death of Grand Moff Tarkin, that made Vader the number 2 person in the Empire! Sidenote: anyone else think it was weird that f------ DARTH VADER had to answer to middle management? Anyways, the point is this: maybe the exhaust port wasn't the problem. The shot was LITERALLY NOT POSSIBLE.. unless you had magic powers. Magic powers that allowed you to manipulate matter and move it at your whims, which - surprise, surprise -is pretty much the default use of The Force. Reminder: our galaxy used to be run by a bunch of sexless monk warlocks. Their specialty was moving s--- with their mind. And the kid who made the shot happened to be a direct descendant of the most powerful sexless monk warlock of all-time Maybe if we weren't up against a bunch of space wizards or if Darth Vader had tried a little harder to wipe out his kid, we'd still have the Death Star. That's the problem not a tiny hole that did what it was designed to do Anyways, I was somehow "left off plans to build a new Death Star. I noticed part of the plan allowed for a giant Millenium Falcon-sized' hole right in the middle that leads to the core, so maybe a tiny exhaust port won't look like that much of an oversight soon May the F---- Not Be Given Dak Exhaustport DORKLy

An Open Letter From a Death Star Architect Hey guys. It's me. The guy who put in the exhaust ports on the Death Star I know, I know What a stupid design flaw!" "You are singlehandedly responsible for the destruction of our ultimate weapon and battlestation! How could ANYONE have made such a huge mistake?! Over the past week, I've gotten a lot of guff from people l considered to be friends and colleagues about how my "shoddy" design would be the downfall of our entire government. Not only that, but I've been force-choked (and regular-choked) by more superiors than I can count (and Human Resources has been VERY reluctant to respond to my complaints about being invisibly strangled by a cyborg space wizard). But I have one response to all of you who blame me for the destruction of the Death Star: Are you F------ serious?77 I mean, do you understand the point of exhaust ports? Do you know HOW MUCH EXHAUST is created by this MOON-SIZED battle station? There were hundreds of floors on that thing. It housed a laser capable of instantly blowing up planets. It needs a LOT of ventilation the fact that I was able to keep those exhaust ports to the size of a womp rat should earn me some credit. Now let's talk a little about what happened at the Battle of Yavin IV. Some farmboy nobody flies down a trench, shoots some bombs out of his X-Wing straight ahead, the bombs take a 90 DEGREE TURN and then they go EXACTLY down the tiny exhaust port, go down miles and miles of insanely narrow pipe and hit the Death Star's core blowing it up Notice anything weird there? First off, 'exhaust doesn't mean s--- gets SUCKED DOWN. It means s--- gets PUSHED UP. That's what it is - it's expelling gas. Outward. As in, not in a direction that would suck down a bomb. If anything, it should have pushed the bombs UP So how'd the bomb take a right angle turn down it? Hmmmm oh I dunno OH THAT'S RIGHT WE LIVE IN A GALAXY WITH MAGIC SPACE WIZARDS. "But Exhaust Port Designer!" you say. "All of the magic space wizards were killed!" Damn, ya got me there OH WAIT THAT'S RIGHT! THE KID WHO TOOK THE SHOT JUST HAPPENED TO BE NAMED 'SKYWALKER.' Yep, same as our leather-daddy asthmatic boss. And he just so happened to be from the same planet as ol' Chokey. And it turns out he wasn't even using his targeting computer when he made the winning shot! What a coincidence And hey! Who was the guy pursuing the computer-less moisture-farmer? Oh, that's right it was Darth Vader, his dad! And he managed to spectacularly fail at taking out this first-time pilot, who just so happened to be his son. And know what else is weird? Darth Vader was the only survivor of the Death Star explosion! And with the death of Grand Moff Tarkin, that made Vader the number 2 person in the Empire! Sidenote: anyone else think it was weird that f------ DARTH VADER had to answer to middle management? Anyways, the point is this: maybe the exhaust port wasn't the problem. The shot was LITERALLY NOT POSSIBLE.. unless you had magic powers. Magic powers that allowed you to manipulate matter and move it at your whims, which - surprise, surprise -is pretty much the default use of The Force. Reminder: our galaxy used to be run by a bunch of sexless monk warlocks. Their specialty was moving s--- with their mind. And the kid who made the shot happened to be a direct descendant of the most powerful sexless monk warlock of all-time Maybe if we weren't up against a bunch of space wizards or if Darth Vader had tried a little harder to wipe out his kid, we'd still have the Death Star. That's the problem not a tiny hole that did what it was designed to do Anyways, I was somehow "left off plans to build a new Death Star. I noticed part of the plan allowed for a giant Millenium Falcon-sized' hole right in the middle that leads to the core, so maybe a tiny exhaust port won't look like that much of an oversight soon May the F---- Not Be Given Dak Exhaustport DORKLy

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Jedi Mickey vs General Stitch

star wars disney general grievous stitch

Thanks for the super cool light saber, Ben. How'd uou cet it? Oh that's the best part! I can't believe I forgot to tell you. I severed most of your dad's limbs and left him to die in a bunch of hot lava. Now he's Darth Vader and I'm going to try to manipulate you into becoming a Jedi and killing him. @TerriblyOraun

Thanks for the super cool light saber, Ben. How'd uou cet it? Oh that's the best part! I can't believe I forgot to tell you. I severed most of your dad's limbs and left him to die in a bunch of hot lava. Now he's Darth Vader and I'm going to try to manipulate you into becoming a Jedi and killing him. @TerriblyOraun

Dumbo Vader

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The Bounty Hunters

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Slave Princess Jasmine

ralphsevelius. blogspot.com pushfighter.devian

ralphsevelius. blogspot.com pushfighter.devian

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Chewbacca's Long Lost Sister

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E.T. is a Jedi?!

-1: YODA IS A WELL KNOWN FIGURE" IN THE SENATE CHAMBER 2. ET:CREATURES EXIST IN STAR WARS AND CAN BE SEEN IN THE SENATE CHAMBER... IT'S REASONABLE TO ASSUME THEY KNOW YODA... 3. SOME E.T CREATURES COME TO EARTH, 4. THAT YOUNG BOY PLAYS WITH STAR WARS FIGURES WHICH IS KIND OF WEIRD ONE OF THEM MEETS A YOUNG BOY 5. ET. MEETS A KID DRESSED AS YODA AT HALLOWEEN. 6. ITS REASONABLE TO ASSUME THAT E.T. CAN MAKE BIKES AND TOYS FLY BY USING THE FORCE AND RECOGNISES HIM. WHICH MUST MEAN ...E.T.IS AING JEDI facebook.com/ModelKitMonsters

-1: YODA IS A WELL KNOWN FIGURE" IN THE SENATE CHAMBER 2. ET:CREATURES EXIST IN STAR WARS AND CAN BE SEEN IN THE SENATE CHAMBER... IT'S REASONABLE TO ASSUME THEY KNOW YODA... 3. SOME E.T CREATURES COME TO EARTH, 4. THAT YOUNG BOY PLAYS WITH STAR WARS FIGURES WHICH IS KIND OF WEIRD ONE OF THEM MEETS A YOUNG BOY 5. ET. MEETS A KID DRESSED AS YODA AT HALLOWEEN. 6. ITS REASONABLE TO ASSUME THAT E.T. CAN MAKE BIKES AND TOYS FLY BY USING THE FORCE AND RECOGNISES HIM. WHICH MUST MEAN ...E.T.IS AING JEDI facebook.com/ModelKitMonsters

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facebook.com/Chubbsthepug

facebook.com/Chubbsthepug

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Palpatine vs Christ the Redeemer

YOUR SKILLS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE

YOUR SKILLS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE

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The Dark Side Of The Moon

THE MOON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

THE MOON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

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Admiral Ackbar the employee of the month

Excels at His Job Puts Neck Out to Warn Others Raising the Ackbar EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH A PLAQUE

Excels at His Job Puts Neck Out to Warn Others Raising the Ackbar EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH A PLAQUE

Mewbacca

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fuckeverything.jpg

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Santa Yoda

R.MR

R.MR

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Bro-ba Fett D think abovt what if would be like to o you guys ever f--- this thing? I think about it. A lot. completelyseriouscomics.con

Bro-ba Fett D think abovt what if would be like to o you guys ever f--- this thing? I think about it. A lot. completelyseriouscomics.con