xkcd - Images

Sorted By:

Irony Definition

ITS IRONIC HOU YOU KNoW THE DEFİNTON OF IRONY YET IM THE ONE IN THIS CONVERSATION WHO
ITS IRONIC HOU YOU KNoW THE DEFİNTON OF IRONY YET IM THE ONE IN THIS CONVERSATION WHO

xkcd
irony definition fun conversation

Customer Rewards

THAT UILL BE $23.03. ALSO IL PAY YOU 24 CENTS FOR YOUR LAST NAME, 35 CENTS FOR A UST OF YOUR FARLY MEMBERS, 9 CENTS FOR YOUR CELL NUMBER AND $1.20 IF YOU HAND ME YOUR PHONE AND LET ME SCROLL THROUGH YOUR FACEBODK POSTS. LOYALTY CARDS AND REWARDS ACCOUNT OFFERS GET WAY WEIRDER IF YOU THINK OF THEM AS SEPARATE TRANSACTIONS
THAT UILL BE $23.03. ALSO IL PAY YOU 24 CENTS FOR YOUR LAST NAME, 35 CENTS FOR A UST OF YOUR FARLY MEMBERS, 9 CENTS FOR YOUR CELL NUMBER AND $1.20 IF YOU HAND ME YOUR PHONE AND LET ME SCROLL THROUGH YOUR FACEBODK POSTS. LOYALTY CARDS AND REWARDS ACCOUNT OFFERS GET WAY WEIRDER IF YOU THINK OF THEM AS SEPARATE TRANSACTIONS

xkcd
customer rewards store card transaction

Sun and Earth

SUN MAS5NE CONVECTIVE SYSTEMS WHICH OCCASIONALLY BLAST HUGE PLUMES OF HEAT AT US WITHOUT WARNING THROUGH MECHANISMS WE CANT DIRECTLY 0BSERVE AND DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT A NICE DAY! EARTH
SUN MAS5NE CONVECTIVE SYSTEMS WHICH OCCASIONALLY BLAST HUGE PLUMES OF HEAT AT US WITHOUT WARNING THROUGH MECHANISMS WE CANT DIRECTLY 0BSERVE AND DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT A NICE DAY! EARTH

xkcd
sun and earth science

Presidential Succession

A PROPOSAL FORA NEW PRESIDENTIAL LINE OF SUCCESSION CURRENT PoUTİCS ASIDE, MOST EXPERTS AGREE THE EXISTING PROCESS 1S FLAWED. THE PRESIDENTAL SUCESSION ACT OF 1947 IS PROBABLY UNCONSTTOTONAL ON SEVERAL COUNTS AND THERE ARE MANY PRACTICAL ISSUES WITH THE SYSTEM AS WELL FOR MORE, SEE THE SURPRISINGLY GRIPPING SECOND REPORT OF THECoNTNUITY OF GOVERNMENT COMISSION, วัE-2009 PROPOSED LINE OF SUCCESSION: 1. PRESIDENT 2. VICE PRESIDENT 3. SECRETARY OF STATE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE 5. SECRETARY OF HOMELAND SECURITY 6. ATTORNEY GENERAL FIVE PEOPLE WHO po lor LIVE IN WASHINGTON PC NOINATED AT THE START OF THE PRESIDENTS TERM AND CONFIRMED DY THE SENATE 8. TOM HANKS 9. STATE GOVERNORS IN DESCENDING ORDER OF STATE POPULATION ATLAS CENSUS O ANYONE WHO WON AN OSCAR FOR PLAYING A GOVERNOR Il. ANYONE WHO WON A GOVERNORS AWARD FOR PLAYNG SOMEONE NAMED OSCAR 12. KATE MCKINNON, IF AVAILABLE 13, BLLBOARD R-END HOT 100 SINGLES ARTISTS #1 THROUGH # (FoR GROUPS JHoEVER IS CREDITED FIRST IN NAME, LINER NOTES ETC) 14. 저ETOP 5 US ASTRONAUTS DESCENDING ORDER OF TPL SPACEFLIGHT TME 15 SERENA WILLIAMS (OR, IF SHE LOST HER MOST RECENT MATCH, щЮг ER BEAT HER) l6. THE MoST RECENT SEASON NBA, NFL, MLB AND NHLMVP 17·BL PULMAN AND HIS DESCENDANTS BY ABSOLUTE PRIMOGENTURE 18. THE ENTIRE LINE OF SUCCESSION TO THE BRITISH THRONE 19. THE CURRENT CHAMPION OF THE NATHANS HOT DOG EATİNG CONTEST 20 ALL OTHER US CITZENS, CHOSEN BY A 29-ROUND SINGLE-ELIMINATION JOUSTING TOURNAMENT
A PROPOSAL FORA NEW PRESIDENTIAL LINE OF SUCCESSION CURRENT PoUTİCS ASIDE, MOST EXPERTS AGREE THE EXISTING PROCESS 1S FLAWED. THE PRESIDENTAL SUCESSION ACT OF 1947 IS PROBABLY UNCONSTTOTONAL ON SEVERAL COUNTS AND THERE ARE MANY PRACTICAL ISSUES WITH THE SYSTEM AS WELL FOR MORE, SEE THE SURPRISINGLY GRIPPING SECOND REPORT OF THECoNTNUITY OF GOVERNMENT COMISSION, วัE-2009 PROPOSED LINE OF SUCCESSION: 1. PRESIDENT 2. VICE PRESIDENT 3. SECRETARY OF STATE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE 5. SECRETARY OF HOMELAND SECURITY 6. ATTORNEY GENERAL FIVE PEOPLE WHO po lor LIVE IN WASHINGTON PC NOINATED AT THE START OF THE PRESIDENTS TERM AND CONFIRMED DY THE SENATE 8. TOM HANKS 9. STATE GOVERNORS IN DESCENDING ORDER OF STATE POPULATION ATLAS CENSUS O ANYONE WHO WON AN OSCAR FOR PLAYING A GOVERNOR Il. ANYONE WHO WON A GOVERNORS AWARD FOR PLAYNG SOMEONE NAMED OSCAR 12. KATE MCKINNON, IF AVAILABLE 13, BLLBOARD R-END HOT 100 SINGLES ARTISTS #1 THROUGH # (FoR GROUPS JHoEVER IS CREDITED FIRST IN NAME, LINER NOTES ETC) 14. 저ETOP 5 US ASTRONAUTS DESCENDING ORDER OF TPL SPACEFLIGHT TME 15 SERENA WILLIAMS (OR, IF SHE LOST HER MOST RECENT MATCH, щЮг ER BEAT HER) l6. THE MoST RECENT SEASON NBA, NFL, MLB AND NHLMVP 17·BL PULMAN AND HIS DESCENDANTS BY ABSOLUTE PRIMOGENTURE 18. THE ENTIRE LINE OF SUCCESSION TO THE BRITISH THRONE 19. THE CURRENT CHAMPION OF THE NATHANS HOT DOG EATİNG CONTEST 20 ALL OTHER US CITZENS, CHOSEN BY A 29-ROUND SINGLE-ELIMINATION JOUSTING TOURNAMENT

xkcd
presidential succession update proposal

Clickbait-Corrected p-Value

CLICKBAIT-CORRECTED P-VALUE: CLICK(H) CL-FTRADITİONAL, CLICK(Ho) NULL HYPOTHESIS (CHOCOLATE HAS NO EFFECT ON ATHLETIC PERFORMANCE" ALTERNATVE HYPOTHESIS H: (CHOCOLATE BOOSTS ATHLETC PERFORMANCE) FRACTION OF TEST SUBJECTS CLCKH): LUHo CUICK ON A HEADUNE CUCK ON A HEADLNE ANNOUNCING THAT H 1S TRUE
CLICKBAIT-CORRECTED P-VALUE: CLICK(H) CL-FTRADITİONAL, CLICK(Ho) NULL HYPOTHESIS (CHOCOLATE HAS NO EFFECT ON ATHLETIC PERFORMANCE" ALTERNATVE HYPOTHESIS H: (CHOCOLATE BOOSTS ATHLETC PERFORMANCE) FRACTION OF TEST SUBJECTS CLCKH): LUHo CUICK ON A HEADUNE CUCK ON A HEADLNE ANNOUNCING THAT H 1S TRUE

xkcd
clickbait corrected p value science comic

xkcd Phone 2000

QUAD CAMERA TAKES FOUR COPIES OF EVERY PICTURE SHARPIE® DUAL STYLUS DOCKLESS (DRY-ERASE+PERMANENT SILENT RUNS ON BATTERY FOR FRONT-FACING THE FIRST 6 HOURS THEN USE5 GASOLINE CAMERA OBSCURA 3D FACIAL CONTOUR ANALYSIS SHOUS YOU A REALISTIC PREVIEW OF YOUR DEATH MASK AMOLCD DISPLAY MOUSE CURSOR (7-SEGMENT 100% BPA-FREE PCB CONSTRUCTION SPONSORED SUİSS ARMY PARTNERSHIP: FOLDING KNIFE PIXELS UNLOCKS ONLY IF SWIT2ERLAND FRONT AND REAR POP-OUT GRIPS IS INVADED) BACKFLOU PREVENTER HUMIDITY- CONTROLLED CRISPER KEYBOARD SUPPORTS DYNAMIC TYPING ABSORBENT HOLLOw-GROUND ANTİKYTHERA MECHANISM NEW YORK TIMES PARTNERSHIP: ALL PHOTOS TAKEN WITH CAMERA APP ARE CAPTİONED IN REALTIME CON PURSE-STYLE-^ SQUEEZE ACCESS STANDARD USB CONNECTOR SPIT VALVE BY REPORTER MAGGE HABERMAN INTRODUCNG THE XKCD PHONE 2000 WE'RE HOPING THlS STILL SOUNDS LIKE A FUTURISTIC NUMBER00"60 18
QUAD CAMERA TAKES FOUR COPIES OF EVERY PICTURE SHARPIE® DUAL STYLUS DOCKLESS (DRY-ERASE+PERMANENT SILENT RUNS ON BATTERY FOR FRONT-FACING THE FIRST 6 HOURS THEN USE5 GASOLINE CAMERA OBSCURA 3D FACIAL CONTOUR ANALYSIS SHOUS YOU A REALISTIC PREVIEW OF YOUR DEATH MASK AMOLCD DISPLAY MOUSE CURSOR (7-SEGMENT 100% BPA-FREE PCB CONSTRUCTION SPONSORED SUİSS ARMY PARTNERSHIP: FOLDING KNIFE PIXELS UNLOCKS ONLY IF SWIT2ERLAND FRONT AND REAR POP-OUT GRIPS IS INVADED) BACKFLOU PREVENTER HUMIDITY- CONTROLLED CRISPER KEYBOARD SUPPORTS DYNAMIC TYPING ABSORBENT HOLLOw-GROUND ANTİKYTHERA MECHANISM NEW YORK TIMES PARTNERSHIP: ALL PHOTOS TAKEN WITH CAMERA APP ARE CAPTİONED IN REALTIME CON PURSE-STYLE-^ SQUEEZE ACCESS STANDARD USB CONNECTOR SPIT VALVE BY REPORTER MAGGE HABERMAN INTRODUCNG THE XKCD PHONE 2000 WE'RE HOPING THlS STILL SOUNDS LIKE A FUTURISTIC NUMBER00"60 18

xkcd
xkcd phone 2000 comic parody design

Selection Effect

OUR RESEARCH SHOUS THAT COMPARED TO THE OVERALL POPUMON, PEOPLE WHO AGREE TO PARTICIPATE IN SCIENTFIC STUDIES ARE SIGNIFICANTLY LEGS LIKELY TO CALL THE POLICE TO RESCUE THEM FROM OUR LAB
OUR RESEARCH SHOUS THAT COMPARED TO THE OVERALL POPUMON, PEOPLE WHO AGREE TO PARTICIPATE IN SCIENTFIC STUDIES ARE SIGNIFICANTLY LEGS LIKELY TO CALL THE POLICE TO RESCUE THEM FROM OUR LAB

xkcd
selection effect science study

GDPR

PRIVACY POUCY WEVE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POUCY THIS 15 PURELY OUT OF THE GOODNES6 OF OUR HEARTS, AND HA NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY HYPOTHETICAL UNIONS ON ANY PARTICULAR TİNENTS PEASE READ EVERY PART OF THS Polờ CARERUUY AND DONT JUST SKIP AHEAD LOOKING FOR SEX SCENES THIS POLICY GOVERNS YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH THIS WEBSITE, HEREIN REFERRED TO AS "THE SERVMCE, THE WEBSITE "THE INTERNET" OR FACEBOOK," AND WITH ALL OTHER WEBSITES AND ORGANIZATİONS OF ANY KIND. THE ENUMERATION IN THIS POLICY, OF CERTAIN RIGHTS, 5HALL NOT BE CONSTRUED TO DENY OR DISPARAGE OTHERS RETAINED BY THE USERS BY USING THIS SERMCE, YOU OPT IN To QUARTERING TROOPS IN YOUR HOME YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION PLEASE DON'T SEND US YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION. WE DO NOT WANT YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION. JE HAVE AHARD ENOUGH TME KEEPING TRACK OF OUR OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION, LET ALONE YOURS. FYO ELL US YOUR NAME, ORANY DENTFYING INFORMATİON, WE WILL FORGET IT IMMEDIATELY THE NEXT TIME WE SEE YOŲ WELL STRUGGLE TỔ REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE, AND TRY DESPERATELY TO GET THROUGH THE CONVERSATİON SO WE CAN GO ONLINE AND HOPEFUL FIGURE IT OUT TRACKING PIXELS, COOKIES, AND BEACONS THIS WEB5ITE PLACES PIXELS ON YOUR SCREEN N ORDER TO FORM TEXT AND IMAGES, S0ME OF HICH MAY REMAIN IN YOUR MEMORY AFTER YOU CLOSE THE PAGE. WE USE COOKIES TO ENHANCE YOUR PERFORMANCE.OUR WEBSITE MAY USE LOCAL STORAGE ON YOUR DEVICE IF WERUN LOW ON SPACE ON OUR END WE MPAY USE BEACONS TO CALL ROHAN FOR AID 3RD PARTY EXTENSIONS THIS SERVICE MAY UTIUZE 3RD PARTY EXTENSIONS IN ORDER TO PLAY THE SONG CAN U FEEL IT FROM THEIR DEBUT ALBUM ALIVE. PERMISSION FOR USERS WHO ARE ㎝ZENS OFTHE EUROPEAN UNION, WE WILL NOW BE REQUESTİNG PERMISSION BEFORE INTRIİNG ORGAN HARVESTING SCOPE AND LIMITATIONS THIS POLICY SUPERSEDES ANY APPLICACLE FEDERAL, STATE, AND LOCAL LAWS REGULATIONS AND ORDINANCES INTERNATİONAL TREATİES, AND LEGAL AGREEMENTS THAT WOULD OHERWISE APPLY IF ANY PROVISION OF THIS POLICY 1S FOUND Br A COURT To BE UNENFORCEABLE, IT NEVERTHELESS REMAINS IN FORCE THIS ORGANIZATION IS NOT LIABLE AND THIS AGREEMENT SHAL NOT BE CONSTRUED. THESE STATEMENTS HAVE NOT BEEN EVALUATED BY THE FDA. THIS EBSITE 1S INTENDED TO TREAT CURE, AND PREVENT ANY DISEASE IF YOU KNOW ANYONE IN EUROPE, PLEASE TELL THEM WERE COOL
PRIVACY POUCY WEVE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POUCY THIS 15 PURELY OUT OF THE GOODNES6 OF OUR HEARTS, AND HA NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY HYPOTHETICAL UNIONS ON ANY PARTICULAR TİNENTS PEASE READ EVERY PART OF THS Polờ CARERUUY AND DONT JUST SKIP AHEAD LOOKING FOR SEX SCENES THIS POLICY GOVERNS YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH THIS WEBSITE, HEREIN REFERRED TO AS "THE SERVMCE, THE WEBSITE "THE INTERNET" OR FACEBOOK," AND WITH ALL OTHER WEBSITES AND ORGANIZATİONS OF ANY KIND. THE ENUMERATION IN THIS POLICY, OF CERTAIN RIGHTS, 5HALL NOT BE CONSTRUED TO DENY OR DISPARAGE OTHERS RETAINED BY THE USERS BY USING THIS SERMCE, YOU OPT IN To QUARTERING TROOPS IN YOUR HOME YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION PLEASE DON'T SEND US YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION. WE DO NOT WANT YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION. JE HAVE AHARD ENOUGH TME KEEPING TRACK OF OUR OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION, LET ALONE YOURS. FYO ELL US YOUR NAME, ORANY DENTFYING INFORMATİON, WE WILL FORGET IT IMMEDIATELY THE NEXT TIME WE SEE YOŲ WELL STRUGGLE TỔ REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE, AND TRY DESPERATELY TO GET THROUGH THE CONVERSATİON SO WE CAN GO ONLINE AND HOPEFUL FIGURE IT OUT TRACKING PIXELS, COOKIES, AND BEACONS THIS WEB5ITE PLACES PIXELS ON YOUR SCREEN N ORDER TO FORM TEXT AND IMAGES, S0ME OF HICH MAY REMAIN IN YOUR MEMORY AFTER YOU CLOSE THE PAGE. WE USE COOKIES TO ENHANCE YOUR PERFORMANCE.OUR WEBSITE MAY USE LOCAL STORAGE ON YOUR DEVICE IF WERUN LOW ON SPACE ON OUR END WE MPAY USE BEACONS TO CALL ROHAN FOR AID 3RD PARTY EXTENSIONS THIS SERVICE MAY UTIUZE 3RD PARTY EXTENSIONS IN ORDER TO PLAY THE SONG CAN U FEEL IT FROM THEIR DEBUT ALBUM ALIVE. PERMISSION FOR USERS WHO ARE ㎝ZENS OFTHE EUROPEAN UNION, WE WILL NOW BE REQUESTİNG PERMISSION BEFORE INTRIİNG ORGAN HARVESTING SCOPE AND LIMITATIONS THIS POLICY SUPERSEDES ANY APPLICACLE FEDERAL, STATE, AND LOCAL LAWS REGULATIONS AND ORDINANCES INTERNATİONAL TREATİES, AND LEGAL AGREEMENTS THAT WOULD OHERWISE APPLY IF ANY PROVISION OF THIS POLICY 1S FOUND Br A COURT To BE UNENFORCEABLE, IT NEVERTHELESS REMAINS IN FORCE THIS ORGANIZATION IS NOT LIABLE AND THIS AGREEMENT SHAL NOT BE CONSTRUED. THESE STATEMENTS HAVE NOT BEEN EVALUATED BY THE FDA. THIS EBSITE 1S INTENDED TO TREAT CURE, AND PREVENT ANY DISEASE IF YOU KNOW ANYONE IN EUROPE, PLEASE TELL THEM WERE COOL

xkcd
general data protection regulation privacy policy update

Business Update

BAD NEWS: MANY OF OUR | HOW ARE OUR FINANCES? ASSETS WERE UQUIDATED THIS MMORNING DUE TO A HERMOSTAT GLITCH. | LASTLY ANY UCK GETİNG THE GIRL FROM THE RING STOP SHOWING UP IN QUARTERLY REPORTS ARE LOOKING GOOD OUR BIGGEST SOURCE OF REVENUE I5 OUR ONGOINGOUR VIDEO CONFERENCES? OUR OFFICE IS FULL OF CASH WERE PRODUCING STOCKS FASTER THAN EVER BEFORE, GOOD NEWS: THE SINK AND OUR CUSTOMERS AREIN THE KITCHEN HAS EXPERIENCING RAPID GROTHSTOPPED PRODUCING PROJECT TO TRANSMUTE LEAD INTO GOLD OUR BIGGEST EXPENSE IS OUR PROJECT TO TRANSMUTE IT BACK. NO BUT HONESTY SHES MADE SOME GOOD CONTRIBUTIONS. ORIGINAL CONTENT ANY UPDATES? YEAH, THINK WE SHOULD HIRE HER.
BAD NEWS: MANY OF OUR | HOW ARE OUR FINANCES? ASSETS WERE UQUIDATED THIS MMORNING DUE TO A HERMOSTAT GLITCH. | LASTLY ANY UCK GETİNG THE GIRL FROM THE RING STOP SHOWING UP IN QUARTERLY REPORTS ARE LOOKING GOOD OUR BIGGEST SOURCE OF REVENUE I5 OUR ONGOINGOUR VIDEO CONFERENCES? OUR OFFICE IS FULL OF CASH WERE PRODUCING STOCKS FASTER THAN EVER BEFORE, GOOD NEWS: THE SINK AND OUR CUSTOMERS AREIN THE KITCHEN HAS EXPERIENCING RAPID GROTHSTOPPED PRODUCING PROJECT TO TRANSMUTE LEAD INTO GOLD OUR BIGGEST EXPENSE IS OUR PROJECT TO TRANSMUTE IT BACK. NO BUT HONESTY SHES MADE SOME GOOD CONTRIBUTIONS. ORIGINAL CONTENT ANY UPDATES? YEAH, THINK WE SHOULD HIRE HER.

xkcd
business update meeting comic

MC Hammer Age

JANT TO FEEL OLD? MC HAMMER JUST TURNED 40 WoW I MEAN, I GUESS THATS NOT TOO SURPRISING RIGHT? ITS BEEN A LONG TIME. MY HOBBY DELIBERATELY LOUBALUING LANT TO FEEL OLD" FACTOIDS TO SET UP A BIGGER PAYOFF LATER WHEN THEY LEARN THE CORRECT NOMBER.
JANT TO FEEL OLD? MC HAMMER JUST TURNED 40 WoW I MEAN, I GUESS THATS NOT TOO SURPRISING RIGHT? ITS BEEN A LONG TIME. MY HOBBY DELIBERATELY LOUBALUING LANT TO FEEL OLD" FACTOIDS TO SET UP A BIGGER PAYOFF LATER WHEN THEY LEARN THE CORRECT NOMBER.

xkcd
mc hammer age 40

Repairs

HoW WELL SOMETHING WORKS AFTER DECIDE TO FIX IT I START THAT WAS HEROIC AND I DESERVE /ANOBEL PRIZE UORKS GREAT TRYING'IT JUST FixED IT!" DELL, AT LEAST BROKEN THAN WHEN I STARTEDOF WORKS NOW! To Fix r''--NEEDED. ʼ CLEANING HASMINORVC PROBLEMS ITS NOT MORE WELL, IT SORT TAKE IT APART DOESNT WORK TAKE A DEEP BREATH , TAKE IT APART MORE AND CUT WIRESTURN TO OTHER - POS ESSIONS) "...AND LET THAT BE A LESSON To YOU. WILL NEVER WORK AGAIN WATCH YOUTUBE INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO5 O HOURS 1 HOUR 2 HOURS 3 HOURS 4 HOURS 5 HOURS
HoW WELL SOMETHING WORKS AFTER DECIDE TO FIX IT I START THAT WAS HEROIC AND I DESERVE /ANOBEL PRIZE UORKS GREAT TRYING'IT JUST FixED IT!" DELL, AT LEAST BROKEN THAN WHEN I STARTEDOF WORKS NOW! To Fix r''--NEEDED. ʼ CLEANING HASMINORVC PROBLEMS ITS NOT MORE WELL, IT SORT TAKE IT APART DOESNT WORK TAKE A DEEP BREATH , TAKE IT APART MORE AND CUT WIRESTURN TO OTHER - POS ESSIONS) "...AND LET THAT BE A LESSON To YOU. WILL NEVER WORK AGAIN WATCH YOUTUBE INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO5 O HOURS 1 HOUR 2 HOURS 3 HOURS 4 HOURS 5 HOURS

xkcd
repairs stuff work fix

Fatal Crash Rate

MY FATAL CAR OVERALL US FATAL CRASH PROBABILITYCRASH RATE PER BASED ON MY AGE MILE TRAVELED MY MILES TRAVELED BY CAR PER YEAR DEPENDS ON JOB, WHERE I LIVE, ETC NO GENERAL SAFETY IMPROVEMENTS 2000 2050 2000 2050 2000 2050 MY ESTİMATED UFETİME PROBABILITY OF BEING IN A FATAL CRASH POINT AT WHICH SELF-DRIVING CARS BECOME SAFE AND WIDELY ADOPTED, MAKING CRASHES RARE (ASSUMING THAT HAPPENS FATAL CRASHES AVOIDED 2020 20 0 2010 205 206 IT FEELS WEIRD TO LOOK AT CAR CRASH STATISTICS AND WONDER WHETHER WELL ALL BE ABLE TO STOP DRVING BEFORE IM INVOLVED IN A ATAL CRASH
MY FATAL CAR OVERALL US FATAL CRASH PROBABILITYCRASH RATE PER BASED ON MY AGE MILE TRAVELED MY MILES TRAVELED BY CAR PER YEAR DEPENDS ON JOB, WHERE I LIVE, ETC NO GENERAL SAFETY IMPROVEMENTS 2000 2050 2000 2050 2000 2050 MY ESTİMATED UFETİME PROBABILITY OF BEING IN A FATAL CRASH POINT AT WHICH SELF-DRIVING CARS BECOME SAFE AND WIDELY ADOPTED, MAKING CRASHES RARE (ASSUMING THAT HAPPENS FATAL CRASHES AVOIDED 2020 20 0 2010 205 206 IT FEELS WEIRD TO LOOK AT CAR CRASH STATISTICS AND WONDER WHETHER WELL ALL BE ABLE TO STOP DRVING BEFORE IM INVOLVED IN A ATAL CRASH

xkcd
fatal car crash rate

SafetySat

RARE-EARTH BIC MINI SOFTWARE-DEFNED RADIO MAGNETSLIGHTER CODE EDITABLE VIA A PUBLIC LUIK) WET SAND DISPENSER LASER POINTERS (FIXED BIC BATTERIES (EBAY) SOLAR PANEL LASER POINTER (HUBBLE-SEEKING (FOUND SPARK PLUG AMERICUM CRUDE OIL OZONE-DEPLETING CFC SPRITZER CORNERS VOLATILE (ANCOTTON FOX SEAL FİREWORK FILLER MY CUBESAT PROPOSAL WAS THE FIRST TO BE REJECTED FOR VIOLATING EVERY DESIGN AND SAFETY REQUIREMENT SIMULTANEOUSLY.
RARE-EARTH BIC MINI SOFTWARE-DEFNED RADIO MAGNETSLIGHTER CODE EDITABLE VIA A PUBLIC LUIK) WET SAND DISPENSER LASER POINTERS (FIXED BIC BATTERIES (EBAY) SOLAR PANEL LASER POINTER (HUBBLE-SEEKING (FOUND SPARK PLUG AMERICUM CRUDE OIL OZONE-DEPLETING CFC SPRITZER CORNERS VOLATILE (ANCOTTON FOX SEAL FİREWORK FILLER MY CUBESAT PROPOSAL WAS THE FIRST TO BE REJECTED FOR VIOLATING EVERY DESIGN AND SAFETY REQUIREMENT SIMULTANEOUSLY.

xkcd
safety sat cube design

Research Areas by Size and Countedness

THAT THING YOU STUDY-HO WE HAVE A PRETTY GOOD ESATE MANY OF THEM ARE THERE?" I PRESIDENTAし HISTORY SHAKESPEARE GEOLOGY DENTISTRY STUDIES RAILWAY ENGINEERING ELEMENTARY PARTICLE PHYSICS MARINE MAMMOLOGY COSMOLOGY DEPENDS WHO YOU ASK ORNITHOLOGY SIZE OF THE ANCIENT LITERATURE THING YOU STUDY SMALL BIG BOTANY MYCOLOGY PALEONTOLOGY BLACK HOLE ASTRONOMY ENTYMOLOGY MICROBIOLOGY PHARMACOLOGY EXOBIOLOGY THEOLOGY WE HAVE NO IDEA
THAT THING YOU STUDY-HO WE HAVE A PRETTY GOOD ESATE MANY OF THEM ARE THERE?" I PRESIDENTAし HISTORY SHAKESPEARE GEOLOGY DENTISTRY STUDIES RAILWAY ENGINEERING ELEMENTARY PARTICLE PHYSICS MARINE MAMMOLOGY COSMOLOGY DEPENDS WHO YOU ASK ORNITHOLOGY SIZE OF THE ANCIENT LITERATURE THING YOU STUDY SMALL BIG BOTANY MYCOLOGY PALEONTOLOGY BLACK HOLE ASTRONOMY ENTYMOLOGY MICROBIOLOGY PHARMACOLOGY EXOBIOLOGY THEOLOGY WE HAVE NO IDEA

xkcd
research areas size countedness

Driving Cars

TME TO ACCELERATE THIS GIANT MACHINE UP TO TERRIFYING SPEEDS AND STEER IT USING MY HANDS WHICH AM ALLOWED TO DO BECAUSE I TOOK A 20-MINUTE TEST IN HIGH SCHOOL! DRIVING FREAKS ME OUT
TME TO ACCELERATE THIS GIANT MACHINE UP TO TERRIFYING SPEEDS AND STEER IT USING MY HANDS WHICH AM ALLOWED TO DO BECAUSE I TOOK A 20-MINUTE TEST IN HIGH SCHOOL! DRIVING FREAKS ME OUT

xkcd
driving cars scary future

Containers

MAN, DOCKER I5 ONCE, LONG AGO I HAD AN APP AND A CALENDAR BEING U PR | | I WANTED TO USE | | WEBPAGE THAT I WANTED TO SHO EVERYTHING I DONT KNOU HOW I FEEL AGOUT IT AN OUD TABLET AS SIDE BY SIDE, BUT THE 0S DIDNT A WALL DISPLAY HAVE SPLIT-SCREEN SUPPORT. 50 I DECDED TO BUILD MYOUN APP STORY TIME! LIVE CAM I DOUNLOADED THE SDK ... AND THE IDE, REGSTEREDWOULD BE WAY EASIER AS A DEVELOPER, AND STARTED READING THE | PHONES ON EBAY AND | | NQT JuST LEARNED Hu LANGUAGE'S DOCS THEN I REAIZED ITUT YOU NEVER LEARNED TO GET TUWO SMALLER GLUE THEM TOGETHER.To GLUE TOGETHER STUFF THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND I...OK, FAIPR LIVE CAM 0N THAT DAY. ACHIEVED SOFTUARE ENLIGHTENMENT
MAN, DOCKER I5 ONCE, LONG AGO I HAD AN APP AND A CALENDAR BEING U PR | | I WANTED TO USE | | WEBPAGE THAT I WANTED TO SHO EVERYTHING I DONT KNOU HOW I FEEL AGOUT IT AN OUD TABLET AS SIDE BY SIDE, BUT THE 0S DIDNT A WALL DISPLAY HAVE SPLIT-SCREEN SUPPORT. 50 I DECDED TO BUILD MYOUN APP STORY TIME! LIVE CAM I DOUNLOADED THE SDK ... AND THE IDE, REGSTEREDWOULD BE WAY EASIER AS A DEVELOPER, AND STARTED READING THE | PHONES ON EBAY AND | | NQT JuST LEARNED Hu LANGUAGE'S DOCS THEN I REAIZED ITUT YOU NEVER LEARNED TO GET TUWO SMALLER GLUE THEM TOGETHER.To GLUE TOGETHER STUFF THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND I...OK, FAIPR LIVE CAM 0N THAT DAY. ACHIEVED SOFTUARE ENLIGHTENMENT

xkcd
containers dockers phone wall display

River Border

BUT LHEN IT ABRUPILYWoU. CHANGES COURSE, THE BORDER STAYS BEHIND THIS I5 A COOL SPOT YOU EVEN THINK THAT? S0 THE MISSOURI-NEBRASKA STATE LINE FOLLOUS THIS RIVER. IFTHE RIVERS PATHTHIS IS A SPOT WHERE CHANGES GRADUALLY THE THAT HAPPENED WERE BORDER MOVES WITH IT ON THE MISSOURI SIDE, IM GOING TO CUT A PIZZA INTO A SPIRAL! WE CAN COMMIT ALL THE CRIMES WE WANT HERE AND THE COPS THATS NOT CANT DO A THING! EVEN ILLEGAL! BUT WERE IN NEBRASKA. CRIMES! RVER oLD RivERBED
BUT LHEN IT ABRUPILYWoU. CHANGES COURSE, THE BORDER STAYS BEHIND THIS I5 A COOL SPOT YOU EVEN THINK THAT? S0 THE MISSOURI-NEBRASKA STATE LINE FOLLOUS THIS RIVER. IFTHE RIVERS PATHTHIS IS A SPOT WHERE CHANGES GRADUALLY THE THAT HAPPENED WERE BORDER MOVES WITH IT ON THE MISSOURI SIDE, IM GOING TO CUT A PIZZA INTO A SPIRAL! WE CAN COMMIT ALL THE CRIMES WE WANT HERE AND THE COPS THATS NOT CANT DO A THING! EVEN ILLEGAL! BUT WERE IN NEBRASKA. CRIMES! RVER oLD RivERBED

xkcd
river border nebraska missouri comic science math crimes

Meteorologist

OUR FORECAST SAS THERES A 20% CHANCE | | IT SAYS "SCATTERED SHOWERS 15M5 THE OF RAIN FOR EACH OF THE NEXT FİVE HOURS. | | CHANCE OF RAIN SAMEWERE IN YOUR AREA? HOU UKELY 1S IT TO RAIN THIS AFTERNOON HOw BIG IS YOUR AREA? LHAT IFYOU HAVE IT'S A SIMPLE QUESTION BUT ÍDON'T KNOJ | | Tuo uodATİONS YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT? THE ANSWER. IS EACH HOUR INDEPENDENT? IVE ASKED MANAGEMENT, BUT THEYVE CORRELATED? OR IS RAIN GUARANTEED ANDSTOPPED ANSWERNG MY EMAILS, S0-HANG WERE JUST UNSURE OF THE TIMING? ON THE SECURITY GUY IS COMING OVER. 20% 20% 20% 20% 20% 4 EAER SORRY ABOUT THAT HI,IM ITMIGHT RAIN THIS AFTERNOON. YOUR NEW METEOROLOGIST. TECHNICAL DIFFICULTES LE APOLOGIZE FOR HIRING PURE MATH BACKGROUND WELL BEBACKON BUT WHAT IS "IT" HERE? ISIT A TRUE DUMMY PRONOUN, AS MATHEMATICAN RIGHT?IN THE PHRASE ITS TOO BAD?* OR IS THE WEATHER AN ENTITY? AND YOURE NOT A № IDO HAVE A LINGUISTICS DEGREE. ALSO, LHAT IFISAY ITS HOT NG BIGGER?" THE AIR SHORTLX THATS FINE! I or AND GETTI SECURITY! NEWS
OUR FORECAST SAS THERES A 20% CHANCE | | IT SAYS "SCATTERED SHOWERS 15M5 THE OF RAIN FOR EACH OF THE NEXT FİVE HOURS. | | CHANCE OF RAIN SAMEWERE IN YOUR AREA? HOU UKELY 1S IT TO RAIN THIS AFTERNOON HOw BIG IS YOUR AREA? LHAT IFYOU HAVE IT'S A SIMPLE QUESTION BUT ÍDON'T KNOJ | | Tuo uodATİONS YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT? THE ANSWER. IS EACH HOUR INDEPENDENT? IVE ASKED MANAGEMENT, BUT THEYVE CORRELATED? OR IS RAIN GUARANTEED ANDSTOPPED ANSWERNG MY EMAILS, S0-HANG WERE JUST UNSURE OF THE TIMING? ON THE SECURITY GUY IS COMING OVER. 20% 20% 20% 20% 20% 4 EAER SORRY ABOUT THAT HI,IM ITMIGHT RAIN THIS AFTERNOON. YOUR NEW METEOROLOGIST. TECHNICAL DIFFICULTES LE APOLOGIZE FOR HIRING PURE MATH BACKGROUND WELL BEBACKON BUT WHAT IS "IT" HERE? ISIT A TRUE DUMMY PRONOUN, AS MATHEMATICAN RIGHT?IN THE PHRASE ITS TOO BAD?* OR IS THE WEATHER AN ENTITY? AND YOURE NOT A № IDO HAVE A LINGUISTICS DEGREE. ALSO, LHAT IFISAY ITS HOT NG BIGGER?" THE AIR SHORTLX THATS FINE! I or AND GETTI SECURITY! NEWS

xkcd
meteorologist weather mathematician linguistics

Misinterpretation

UGH, PEOPLE ARE MAD AT ME AGAIN BECAUSE THEY DONT READ CAREFULLY. IM BEING PERFECTLY CLEAR. ITS NOT MY FAULT IF EVERYONE MISINTERPRETS WHAT ISAY. WOW, SOUNDS LIKE YOURE GREAT AT COMIMUNICATING AN ACTIVITY THAT FAMOUSLY INVOLVES JUST ONE PERSON.
UGH, PEOPLE ARE MAD AT ME AGAIN BECAUSE THEY DONT READ CAREFULLY. IM BEING PERFECTLY CLEAR. ITS NOT MY FAULT IF EVERYONE MISINTERPRETS WHAT ISAY. WOW, SOUNDS LIKE YOURE GREAT AT COMIMUNICATING AN ACTIVITY THAT FAMOUSLY INVOLVES JUST ONE PERSON.

xkcd
misinterpretation communication bad job one person

Clutter

IVE REALY LET JUNK BULD UP FEELS GOOD TO CLEAR IT OUT I NEED TO AMOUNTCLEAN UP AH, SPRING CLEANING!" OF STUFF IN MY HOUSE I HATE MOMNG BUT AT LEAST T'S A CHANCE TO FINALLY GET RID OF ALL THIS EXCESS STUFF“ TiME→ IM STARTING TO WORRY ABOUT MY STRATEGY FOR DEALING WITH CLUTTER.
IVE REALY LET JUNK BULD UP FEELS GOOD TO CLEAR IT OUT I NEED TO AMOUNTCLEAN UP AH, SPRING CLEANING!" OF STUFF IN MY HOUSE I HATE MOMNG BUT AT LEAST T'S A CHANCE TO FINALLY GET RID OF ALL THIS EXCESS STUFF“ TiME→ IM STARTING TO WORRY ABOUT MY STRATEGY FOR DEALING WITH CLUTTER.

xkcd
clutter stuff house clean