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Working at Walmart

SINGLE COMMENT THREAD VIEW ALL 24m Yesterday I walked past a Walmart and in the back by the loading bay was a forklift and a bunch of very disorganized, unstacked pallets. To my surprise the key was in the forklift. I got in and started re stacking all the pallets. As I was finishing and giving myself a pat on the back, an employee came out yelling saying I was stealing the forklift and the cops are coming. I looked at him and asked did you see me working here? Im just about to take a break and go home! Your welcome! I was escorted inside and after an hour the police said I could go and were actually impressed by my stacking skills. I showed them my forklift license from my real job and they were more impressed! The walmart folks said I was never to touch the forklift again, but also offered me a job. No thanks GReply t 3 Add a comment

SINGLE COMMENT THREAD VIEW ALL 24m Yesterday I walked past a Walmart and in the back by the loading bay was a forklift and a bunch of very disorganized, unstacked pallets. To my surprise the key was in the forklift. I got in and started re stacking all the pallets. As I was finishing and giving myself a pat on the back, an employee came out yelling saying I was stealing the forklift and the cops are coming. I looked at him and asked did you see me working here? Im just about to take a break and go home! Your welcome! I was escorted inside and after an hour the police said I could go and were actually impressed by my stacking skills. I showed them my forklift license from my real job and they were more impressed! The walmart folks said I was never to touch the forklift again, but also offered me a job. No thanks GReply t 3 Add a comment

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That's Basically a Hostage Situation

Imaooo one time in high school i snuck in my bf and my mom decided to be sick for 4 days and i could not sneak him back out so i had him hidden in my closet and had to feed him oreos.. for FOUR DAYS

Imaooo one time in high school i snuck in my bf and my mom decided to be sick for 4 days and i could not sneak him back out so i had him hidden in my closet and had to feed him oreos.. for FOUR DAYS

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Alternative Medicine

@ When I was like 4, I was epileptic and had a seizure. My grandpa and his brother took me to Mexico, cut open a goat, and put me inside of it. Never had a seizure again.

@ When I was like 4, I was epileptic and had a seizure. My grandpa and his brother took me to Mexico, cut open a goat, and put me inside of it. Never had a seizure again.

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No One Liked That

You should've seen the reaction in the restaurant and at my table when I ordered filet mignon raw. "Sir are you sure?" "Sir are you being serious?" "Sir do you want us to put some salt?" No just raw. Almost everyone at the table had some and they liked it. Baby steps.

You should've seen the reaction in the restaurant and at my table when I ordered filet mignon raw. "Sir are you sure?" "Sir are you being serious?" "Sir do you want us to put some salt?" No just raw. Almost everyone at the table had some and they liked it. Baby steps.

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What a Smart 3-Year-Old

8:25 * ☺ a 55% i 口: r/atheism Posted by u/r • 10h My wife told my three year old grandson that thunder is "the sound of angels bowling".. Before I had a chance to say otherwise my grandson states: "No it is not! It is hot air crashing into cold air." Needless to say, I am extremely proud of the little guy and his parents. | 金3.2k 246 S Share Award BEST COMMENTS

8:25 * ☺ a 55% i 口: r/atheism Posted by u/r • 10h My wife told my three year old grandson that thunder is "the sound of angels bowling".. Before I had a chance to say otherwise my grandson states: "No it is not! It is hot air crashing into cold air." Needless to say, I am extremely proud of the little guy and his parents. | 金3.2k 246 S Share Award BEST COMMENTS

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A Mother's Day Gift

ll TELUS ? 5:33 AM © 100% O Like Comment Share ... Was at the mall shopping and some random lady came up to me and handed me this and said "happy Mother's Day" and walked away O O e WOW PANDORA PANDORA and 85 others 3 Comments O Like Comment Share Suggestecd for You 9+ 9+

ll TELUS ? 5:33 AM © 100% O Like Comment Share ... Was at the mall shopping and some random lady came up to me and handed me this and said "happy Mother's Day" and walked away O O e WOW PANDORA PANDORA and 85 others 3 Comments O Like Comment Share Suggestecd for You 9+ 9+

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A Freddy Fazbear Video

In late 2014, there was an assembly going on at my elementary school. It was in the auditorium, and the light was off as we watched a boring safety film. I was sitting in the front row, had my phone, and decided to pull up this video by trying to connect to the auditorium video projector with a USB cable. As soon as I connected, the image popped up, and the music started, there was a loud "oh s---, run!" and Almost all of the kids got up and ran towards the doors, screaming and kicking. Amid the chaos, I escaped the teachers, and for a few months, everyone talked about how Freddy Fazbear had supposedly entered the school, and had sent us a warning over the projector.

In late 2014, there was an assembly going on at my elementary school. It was in the auditorium, and the light was off as we watched a boring safety film. I was sitting in the front row, had my phone, and decided to pull up this video by trying to connect to the auditorium video projector with a USB cable. As soon as I connected, the image popped up, and the music started, there was a loud "oh s---, run!" and Almost all of the kids got up and ran towards the doors, screaming and kicking. Amid the chaos, I escaped the teachers, and for a few months, everyone talked about how Freddy Fazbear had supposedly entered the school, and had sent us a warning over the projector.

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Stars and Stripes

7h · 3 · Manly men of Gab I like walking around in my stars and stripes shirt. Interesting how I get all these sneers from people and comments as people are walking away from me. Yah they can see that I got a gun show going on 24 7. I thought l'd take it up a notch by wearing my stars and stripes to the gym. I was hitting the punching bag and the chain broke. The bag flew against the wall and onto the floor. I got banned. So funny.

7h · 3 · Manly men of Gab I like walking around in my stars and stripes shirt. Interesting how I get all these sneers from people and comments as people are walking away from me. Yah they can see that I got a gun show going on 24 7. I thought l'd take it up a notch by wearing my stars and stripes to the gym. I was hitting the punching bag and the chain broke. The bag flew against the wall and onto the floor. I got banned. So funny.

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Not Opening a Cabinet for 2 Years

... I am in shock. Lived in this flat for 2 years and only just discovered TODAY it has a dishwasher. I thought it was a fake cupboard I've wasted days of my life washing up 10:56 AM · 5/5/21 · Twitter for Android 1,198 Retweets 422 Quote Tweets 27.7K Likes

... I am in shock. Lived in this flat for 2 years and only just discovered TODAY it has a dishwasher. I thought it was a fake cupboard I've wasted days of my life washing up 10:56 AM · 5/5/21 · Twitter for Android 1,198 Retweets 422 Quote Tweets 27.7K Likes

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Smuggling In a Whole Band

whats the most funnest thing you did in your teenage years? 全 Vote ↑, Share + Award oh BEST COMMENTS v Went to loads of punk shows, saw so many bands had so much fun.the first time the band Suicidal Tendencies played in my city they had no place to stay after so I smuggled them into my room, there was about 8 of them (band plus roadies)...my parents never knew G Reply 1 Vote

whats the most funnest thing you did in your teenage years? 全 Vote ↑, Share + Award oh BEST COMMENTS v Went to loads of punk shows, saw so many bands had so much fun.the first time the band Suicidal Tendencies played in my city they had no place to stay after so I smuggled them into my room, there was about 8 of them (band plus roadies)...my parents never knew G Reply 1 Vote

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Shark Attack

• 5h I once survived a shark onslaught ( there were 3 of those) I punched them in their nose, eyes and ripped off the gills of the third, the last move ( ripping gills ) was a extremely foolish move as it drew more sharks, luckily I was saved in nick of time 6 Reply +

• 5h I once survived a shark onslaught ( there were 3 of those) I punched them in their nose, eyes and ripped off the gills of the third, the last move ( ripping gills ) was a extremely foolish move as it drew more sharks, luckily I was saved in nick of time 6 Reply +

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Educating Doctors

16:59 all 35% Replies Funny because l've had plenty of doctors google things right in front of me in the exam room in order to check my symptoms and diagnose me I had to TEACH a doctor about asthma and then demonstrate how to use a Peak flow meter to check my breathing. She even called in a couple of nurses to watch and be educated by ME, when I was having a severe asthma attack while pregnant and needed THEIR help. O They acted so amazed and said "wow we didn't learn any of this in medical school." 1h Like Reply I'LL TAKE "THINGS THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN FOR $800, ALEX Tenor 2 37m Love Reply Write a reply.. GIF

16:59 all 35% Replies Funny because l've had plenty of doctors google things right in front of me in the exam room in order to check my symptoms and diagnose me I had to TEACH a doctor about asthma and then demonstrate how to use a Peak flow meter to check my breathing. She even called in a couple of nurses to watch and be educated by ME, when I was having a severe asthma attack while pregnant and needed THEIR help. O They acted so amazed and said "wow we didn't learn any of this in medical school." 1h Like Reply I'LL TAKE "THINGS THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN FOR $800, ALEX Tenor 2 37m Love Reply Write a reply.. GIF

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Two Christmasses

I was arguing with my husband and my son screamed "yay! TWO christmases!" from the other room. RETWEETS LIKES 2,046 10,552

I was arguing with my husband and my son screamed "yay! TWO christmases!" from the other room. RETWEETS LIKES 2,046 10,552

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Single Mom: The Musical

Over Christmas break my son aged 7 had to write a small essay about what he did over the holidays, instead of talking about his presents and other Christmassy stuff he wrote in depth about me and my husbands divorce and how much happier his mommy seems and how he's "so proud to have such a strong woman as a mom" I nearly cried when I read it and his teacher was so moved by it she's invited me to the school to talk to the kids and they are considering adapting his essay into a school play to help other kids with issues they may be having. I'm just so thankful for him #singlemomlife #mommyandson #proud #blessedlife 306 notes

Over Christmas break my son aged 7 had to write a small essay about what he did over the holidays, instead of talking about his presents and other Christmassy stuff he wrote in depth about me and my husbands divorce and how much happier his mommy seems and how he's "so proud to have such a strong woman as a mom" I nearly cried when I read it and his teacher was so moved by it she's invited me to the school to talk to the kids and they are considering adapting his essay into a school play to help other kids with issues they may be having. I'm just so thankful for him #singlemomlife #mommyandson #proud #blessedlife 306 notes

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Watching T-Series in Class

6:36 NOLY Replies 1 year ago (edited) My teacher showed us T-Series video and almost everyone in the class started singing this 16K 回 301 Add a public reply... urk 1 year ago respect bro B 573 LAnna 1 year ago Omg that's hiralouris B 507 1 year ago Madlads 6 266

6:36 NOLY Replies 1 year ago (edited) My teacher showed us T-Series video and almost everyone in the class started singing this 16K 回 301 Add a public reply... urk 1 year ago respect bro B 573 LAnna 1 year ago Omg that's hiralouris B 507 1 year ago Madlads 6 266

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Writing a Whole Fake Story to Brag About a Joke You Came Up With but Definitely Never Used

is O feeling amused. *Me in Walmart- wearing a tank top- minding my own business* Man walking by me- "eww... only men should have muscles" Me- "I'm sorry ma'am, what did you say? 0" Man- "did you just call me ma'am? Me- "you said only men have muscles.... and considering you don't have any, I figured you were a woman O my mistake... have a good day. Man- ODO 76 8 Comments •1 Share

is O feeling amused. *Me in Walmart- wearing a tank top- minding my own business* Man walking by me- "eww... only men should have muscles" Me- "I'm sorry ma'am, what did you say? 0" Man- "did you just call me ma'am? Me- "you said only men have muscles.... and considering you don't have any, I figured you were a woman O my mistake... have a good day. Man- ODO 76 8 Comments •1 Share

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