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Chad Move from a 5-Year-Old

My Five year old cousin got suspended for 4 days from kidergarten, because he punched a kid in the face. And why did he punch that kid? Because that kid called an African American girl ugly because of her skin color. After my cousin punched him the teacher asked why. He said, "No Girl is Ugly. All of them are beautiful like Cinderella." You are not on 9GAG.COM

My Five year old cousin got suspended for 4 days from kidergarten, because he punched a kid in the face. And why did he punch that kid? Because that kid called an African American girl ugly because of her skin color. After my cousin punched him the teacher asked why. He said, "No Girl is Ugly. All of them are beautiful like Cinderella." You are not on 9GAG.COM

cringe cringeworthy that happened

Fountain Pen

I had a meeting with one of my clients recently. They have a new CFO that I was to meet to discuss a consulting contract. During our meeting the CFO, in front of 4 others at the table, asked why I was using an expensive Fountain Pen (Pilot 823) to take notes, when a $1.00 ball point does the same thing. I asked her why she drives an expensive German Car (Audi) when a used Toyota does the same thing? She nodded and smiled, everyone else chuckled, and I got the contract.

I had a meeting with one of my clients recently. They have a new CFO that I was to meet to discuss a consulting contract. During our meeting the CFO, in front of 4 others at the table, asked why I was using an expensive Fountain Pen (Pilot 823) to take notes, when a $1.00 ball point does the same thing. I asked her why she drives an expensive German Car (Audi) when a used Toyota does the same thing? She nodded and smiled, everyone else chuckled, and I got the contract.

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Future Prime Minister

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be Prime Minister some day. Both of her parents, Labour voters, were standing there, so I asked her, if you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'l'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed. "Wow.. what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and l'll pay you £50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the £50 to use toward food and a new house.' She thought that over for a few seconds, and then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the £50?' I said, 'Welcome to the Conservative Party.' Her parents still aren't speaking to me. 109 13 Comments • 31 Shares Like Comment Share

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be Prime Minister some day. Both of her parents, Labour voters, were standing there, so I asked her, if you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'l'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed. "Wow.. what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and l'll pay you £50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the £50 to use toward food and a new house.' She thought that over for a few seconds, and then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the £50?' I said, 'Welcome to the Conservative Party.' Her parents still aren't speaking to me. 109 13 Comments • 31 Shares Like Comment Share

cringe cringeworthy that happened

I Mean, It's Walmart, so It's Not Impossible

I just watched a woman drink laundry detergent at walmart. bottle to mouth. In the isle. I said NOTHING but when we made eye contact she just gasped and was like I'M GONNA BUY IT! BRO IM NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU BUYING IT W-- ARE YOU DOING

I just watched a woman drink laundry detergent at walmart. bottle to mouth. In the isle. I said NOTHING but when we made eye contact she just gasped and was like I'M GONNA BUY IT! BRO IM NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU BUYING IT W-- ARE YOU DOING

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A Qualified Professor

Someone asked my professor the difference between "affect" and "effect" and he said, "Honestly I have no clue. I have a PhD and wrote my entire dissertation without using either word. Just try and avoid it at all costs"

Someone asked my professor the difference between "affect" and "effect" and he said, "Honestly I have no clue. I have a PhD and wrote my entire dissertation without using either word. Just try and avoid it at all costs"

cringe cringeworthy that happened

Tell Me Why

Here's a quick story So when I was in a grocery store and someone behind me said "Tell me why" and I said "Ain't nothing but a heartache" and then we just busted out into the song "I want it that way" and when we were done we got a huge round of applause That's something you don't see everyday 凸 26 日2

Here's a quick story So when I was in a grocery store and someone behind me said "Tell me why" and I said "Ain't nothing but a heartache" and then we just busted out into the song "I want it that way" and when we were done we got a huge round of applause That's something you don't see everyday 凸 26 日2

cringe cringeworthy that happened

McNuggets

When I'm 7th grade the McDonald's fan fell on me and I let the manager convince me to accept a lifetime of free McNuggets instead of suing them

When I'm 7th grade the McDonald's fan fell on me and I let the manager convince me to accept a lifetime of free McNuggets instead of suing them

cringe cringeworthy that happened

Another Proud Parent

39 minutes ago • After going to play airsoft on a date my eldest daughter (18) came to me upset that the boy wasn't talking to her anymore. After a little digging it was because she knew how to stack on a door, pie a room, understood fields of fire, hit what she was shooting at, knew how to work all the "guns" (apparently they are all fairly realistic and similar to the real thing), and the marines that were there (a couple guys who went to high school with them and graduated a year or two ago) wanted her on their team because she was better. Apparently all this made her a psycho. I never thoughtI would have to comfort a daughter by telling her: "If he can't properly clear a building he probably isn't man enough to be your boyfriend. Its better to find out he us an insecure child on date two than after months." 8O 185 58 Comments

39 minutes ago • After going to play airsoft on a date my eldest daughter (18) came to me upset that the boy wasn't talking to her anymore. After a little digging it was because she knew how to stack on a door, pie a room, understood fields of fire, hit what she was shooting at, knew how to work all the "guns" (apparently they are all fairly realistic and similar to the real thing), and the marines that were there (a couple guys who went to high school with them and graduated a year or two ago) wanted her on their team because she was better. Apparently all this made her a psycho. I never thoughtI would have to comfort a daughter by telling her: "If he can't properly clear a building he probably isn't man enough to be your boyfriend. Its better to find out he us an insecure child on date two than after months." 8O 185 58 Comments

cringe cringeworthy that happened

Salt Jesus

THIS YOUNG MAN WAS PRAYING BEFORE HIS MEAL WHEN A GROUP OF LIBERAL ATHEISTS MOCKED HIM, CHANTING "PROVE YOUR GOD IS REAL!" IT WAS THEN HIS SALT SHAKER FELL AND THE IMAGE OF CHRIST THE SAVIOR APPEARED. THE GROUP OF NONBELIEVERS FELL TO THEIR KNEES AND PRAYED FOR FORGIVENESS. WE SERVE AN AWESOME GOD! AMEN!!!

THIS YOUNG MAN WAS PRAYING BEFORE HIS MEAL WHEN A GROUP OF LIBERAL ATHEISTS MOCKED HIM, CHANTING "PROVE YOUR GOD IS REAL!" IT WAS THEN HIS SALT SHAKER FELL AND THE IMAGE OF CHRIST THE SAVIOR APPEARED. THE GROUP OF NONBELIEVERS FELL TO THEIR KNEES AND PRAYED FOR FORGIVENESS. WE SERVE AN AWESOME GOD! AMEN!!!

cringe cringeworthy that happened

The Biggest Muscles

I kid you not, the nurse who did my second jab just said that I have the biggest arm muscles they've seen in here since they started doing this. 9:12 · 29 Jun 21 · Twitter for Android

I kid you not, the nurse who did my second jab just said that I have the biggest arm muscles they've seen in here since they started doing this. 9:12 · 29 Jun 21 · Twitter for Android

cringe cringeworthy that happened

Just Brony Things

(I'm a brony (thats a male fan of My Little Pony FiM and I also review episodes online that got me about 10,000 subscribers) but I'm sickened by the stereotypical people and some of the non show accurate toys. One day I was looking for a Derpy Hooves figure in a nearby toy shop) Clerk: Uhh what the hell are you doing you crap bag! I quickly turn around shocked Me: I would like to see your manager! Clerk: He won't want to see a pedofile like you, now get out and never come back! That's when I heared a familiar voice, a subscriber that Skyped me the night prior... He was the manager! Me: Arent you the guy I Skyeped last night! (At that moment the jerk clerk got fired, I signed an autograph and I was able to get a Derpy Hooves Pop Figure!)

(I'm a brony (thats a male fan of My Little Pony FiM and I also review episodes online that got me about 10,000 subscribers) but I'm sickened by the stereotypical people and some of the non show accurate toys. One day I was looking for a Derpy Hooves figure in a nearby toy shop) Clerk: Uhh what the hell are you doing you crap bag! I quickly turn around shocked Me: I would like to see your manager! Clerk: He won't want to see a pedofile like you, now get out and never come back! That's when I heared a familiar voice, a subscriber that Skyped me the night prior... He was the manager! Me: Arent you the guy I Skyeped last night! (At that moment the jerk clerk got fired, I signed an autograph and I was able to get a Derpy Hooves Pop Figure!)

cringe cringeworthy that happened

Faster than Usain Bolt

10:45 DA KO Replies 1 month ago 1:55 this is very impressive. back in high school during track practice, i did a 9.36 100m. so please, do not say bolt is the fastest man alive because u have not seen every single 7.7 billion ppl run 100m. but nonetheless, bolt was very fast. OTOK 656 artin

10:45 DA KO Replies 1 month ago 1:55 this is very impressive. back in high school during track practice, i did a 9.36 100m. so please, do not say bolt is the fastest man alive because u have not seen every single 7.7 billion ppl run 100m. but nonetheless, bolt was very fast. OTOK 656 artin

cringe cringeworthy that happened

Cringe in Its Purest Form

One of my classmates called me a vamphobic slur today so I bit her hand. Turns out her parents are lawyers and they might sue bc she "contracted tetanus".sure she did. I'm so effing sick of mortals

One of my classmates called me a vamphobic slur today so I bit her hand. Turns out her parents are lawyers and they might sue bc she "contracted tetanus".sure she did. I'm so effing sick of mortals

cringe cringeworthy that happened

Jesus

A Grandma had this picture on her mantle because she thought it was Jesus.... KEEP CALM JESUS LOVES YOU

A Grandma had this picture on her mantle because she thought it was Jesus.... KEEP CALM JESUS LOVES YOU

cringe cringeworthy that happened

Breakfast in Bed from a 2-Year-Old

Woke up this morning to find Grey in the kitchen making us breakfast. He's only 2 but he made eggs, French toast and waffles by himself. When he saw me, he said "Mom! I was gonna bring you breakfast in bed, get back in bed! You're the best mom ever and I just wanted to do something nice for you" So I went back to bed and he brought me a tray of the best food I've ever eaten.

Woke up this morning to find Grey in the kitchen making us breakfast. He's only 2 but he made eggs, French toast and waffles by himself. When he saw me, he said "Mom! I was gonna bring you breakfast in bed, get back in bed! You're the best mom ever and I just wanted to do something nice for you" So I went back to bed and he brought me a tray of the best food I've ever eaten.

cringe cringeworthy that happened

The Lion Whisperer

Tweet Remember years ago on a safari with my fam, a lion tried to attack us and I got out of the jeep on all fours and growled at it in defence and it ran away to this day my mom calls me the lion whisperer 23/11/2018, 01:25 1 Retweet 15 Likes

Tweet Remember years ago on a safari with my fam, a lion tried to attack us and I got out of the jeep on all fours and growled at it in defence and it ran away to this day my mom calls me the lion whisperer 23/11/2018, 01:25 1 Retweet 15 Likes

cringe that totally happened cringeworthy fake stories

Threatening a Ranger

15 hours ago Fishing license OO yea a few states here have that but none enforce it. Had a man ask my grandpa when I was a kid If he had a fishing license & my grandpa pointed at his smith & Wesson on his hip. The ranger said "you all stay safe" & walked off. UCTV

15 hours ago Fishing license OO yea a few states here have that but none enforce it. Had a man ask my grandpa when I was a kid If he had a fishing license & my grandpa pointed at his smith & Wesson on his hip. The ranger said "you all stay safe" & walked off. UCTV

cringe that totally happened cringeworthy fake stories

I Can Guarantee No One Was Staring

Everyone's staring at the only white guy in here ~using chopsticks properly- O DIN DING DUMPLING HOUSE UNION CITY

Everyone's staring at the only white guy in here ~using chopsticks properly- O DIN DING DUMPLING HOUSE UNION CITY

cringe that totally happened cringeworthy fake stories

I Feel Personally Attacked

12:50 M ... facebook See All 2 Just now • Today at the grocery store walking around pushing my cart that just had steak, chicken, and turkey in it this random guy walks up to me. Random guy: "you're doing pretty good so far but I know you're going to go get pop tarts like the rest of us." Me: “haha, nah I'm not. There's a reason I look like me and not like you." Random guy: blank stare, walks away in silence. Hey man I can't help the truth hurts some times Like ל] Comment N Send

12:50 M ... facebook See All 2 Just now • Today at the grocery store walking around pushing my cart that just had steak, chicken, and turkey in it this random guy walks up to me. Random guy: "you're doing pretty good so far but I know you're going to go get pop tarts like the rest of us." Me: “haha, nah I'm not. There's a reason I look like me and not like you." Random guy: blank stare, walks away in silence. Hey man I can't help the truth hurts some times Like ל] Comment N Send

cringe that totally happened cringeworthy fake stories

Poor Little Girl

Say goodbye, say i love you, never end a conversation with a fight. where is this coming from? Read 9:20 AM I was just in starbucks and saw a little girl crying. She was cute. She had her hair braided and was wearing cute boots. I asked her if she wanted a drink. She ordered a vanilla bean frappe and her tears slowed but didn't stop. I asked why she was crying. She explained to me that her and her father got into a fight that morning because she wouldn't wake up for school and was going to be late. Before he left he said "I love you Lily" and she screamed back "I hate you". Well when he drove away that morning and pulled out of the driveway the last words she said to him were I hate you. He was on sunrise highway and got hit by a drugged driver and died. And that morning was the last time she saw her father.

Say goodbye, say i love you, never end a conversation with a fight. where is this coming from? Read 9:20 AM I was just in starbucks and saw a little girl crying. She was cute. She had her hair braided and was wearing cute boots. I asked her if she wanted a drink. She ordered a vanilla bean frappe and her tears slowed but didn't stop. I asked why she was crying. She explained to me that her and her father got into a fight that morning because she wouldn't wake up for school and was going to be late. Before he left he said "I love you Lily" and she screamed back "I hate you". Well when he drove away that morning and pulled out of the driveway the last words she said to him were I hate you. He was on sunrise highway and got hit by a drugged driver and died. And that morning was the last time she saw her father.

cringe that totally happened cringeworthy fake stories