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Outsmarted Harvard

*** True story: Harvard Business School rejected me in '91. When I got the news, I checked to see if they'd cashed my $100 application fee check. They hadn't, so I did a "stop payment". When they called, trying to collect, I suggested they could learn a business lesson from this. от 20,561 likes Σ
*** True story: Harvard Business School rejected me in '91. When I got the news, I checked to see if they'd cashed my $100 application fee check. They hadn't, so I did a "stop payment". When they called, trying to collect, I suggested they could learn a business lesson from this. от 20,561 likes Σ

That Happened
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Hmmm...

Nice note left by fellow camper BRO I CAMPED IN THE SPOT BEHIND YOU LAST NIGHT. LET ME JUST SAY, YOU ARE KILLING FIRST OFF AS A DAD. WATCHED YOUR WIFE GUIDE YOU IN AS YOU BACKED UP YOUR TRAILER AND NAILED IT CN THE FIRST TRY WITHOUT ANY YELLING THEN YOUR KIDS THE TRUCK UNLOADED Ском AND WERE MILD - HANNERED AND WELL BEHAVED, YOU TOLD STORIES AROUND THE CAMPFIRE AND I HAD THE PLEASURE OF LISTENING TO THE SOUNDS OF GIGGLES AND LAUGHTER. FROM ONE DAD TO ANOTHER, YOU ARE KILLING IT. KEEP IT UP. P.S. WHATEVER YOU COOKED FOR DINNER SMELLED DELICIOUS!
Nice note left by fellow camper BRO I CAMPED IN THE SPOT BEHIND YOU LAST NIGHT. LET ME JUST SAY, YOU ARE KILLING FIRST OFF AS A DAD. WATCHED YOUR WIFE GUIDE YOU IN AS YOU BACKED UP YOUR TRAILER AND NAILED IT CN THE FIRST TRY WITHOUT ANY YELLING THEN YOUR KIDS THE TRUCK UNLOADED Ском AND WERE MILD - HANNERED AND WELL BEHAVED, YOU TOLD STORIES AROUND THE CAMPFIRE AND I HAD THE PLEASURE OF LISTENING TO THE SOUNDS OF GIGGLES AND LAUGHTER. FROM ONE DAD TO ANOTHER, YOU ARE KILLING IT. KEEP IT UP. P.S. WHATEVER YOU COOKED FOR DINNER SMELLED DELICIOUS!

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Then everyone clapped

Sh Tesla guy at Dunkin this morning. "You know, that's and easy fix." Me "What is?" Tesla Idiot "The loudness of your car, something is wrong with it." Me "I made it that way.." Tesla Idiot "It's people like you who are ruining our planet!" Me "It's idiots like you who make it all worth while." and 17 others 1 comment Like Q Comment Copy
Sh Tesla guy at Dunkin this morning. "You know, that's and easy fix." Me "What is?" Tesla Idiot "The loudness of your car, something is wrong with it." Me "I made it that way.." Tesla Idiot "It's people like you who are ruining our planet!" Me "It's idiots like you who make it all worth while." and 17 others 1 comment Like Q Comment Copy

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I'm not buying it

tomcruisingthroughlife Follow As an atheist, putting my hand on the Bible and saying an oath before testifying to a court is less likely to get me to tell the truth than a pinkey promise kaleighbytheway *** When my parents were fighting for custody, I was old enough to have a say, so they put me under oath to assure I was being honest with my feelings. Using my best serious face, knowing what was coming, when offered the bible to swear on, I requested to swear on the secretary's hole punch, "because it's far more honest. It says it's going to punch a hole, and it does, best God I've seen today." My mom buried her face in her hands, my dad sighed and rubbed his forehead. The judge almost choked on his water before telling the bailiff "find this young lady a hole punch!"
tomcruisingthroughlife Follow As an atheist, putting my hand on the Bible and saying an oath before testifying to a court is less likely to get me to tell the truth than a pinkey promise kaleighbytheway *** When my parents were fighting for custody, I was old enough to have a say, so they put me under oath to assure I was being honest with my feelings. Using my best serious face, knowing what was coming, when offered the bible to swear on, I requested to swear on the secretary's hole punch, "because it's far more honest. It says it's going to punch a hole, and it does, best God I've seen today." My mom buried her face in her hands, my dad sighed and rubbed his forehead. The judge almost choked on his water before telling the bailiff "find this young lady a hole punch!"

That Happened
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There's no way

1:13 80 A frat at my school had a SCALE outside their party and were only letting in girls below a certain weight, claiming they had to be the "building was sinking into the foundation." To prove they were lying, I used the city's safe housing tip line to request an inspection. As expected, the house was NOT sinking... but it WAS found to be so unsanitary due to dirt, mold, and potential biohazards that it was condemned on the spot Bye bye frat house! Likes Follow ginal audio iouisamelch "You're just bitter you didn't get in" Yes ... - Q (+) о 563
1:13 80 A frat at my school had a SCALE outside their party and were only letting in girls below a certain weight, claiming they had to be the "building was sinking into the foundation." To prove they were lying, I used the city's safe housing tip line to request an inspection. As expected, the house was NOT sinking... but it WAS found to be so unsanitary due to dirt, mold, and potential biohazards that it was condemned on the spot Bye bye frat house! Likes Follow ginal audio iouisamelch "You're just bitter you didn't get in" Yes ... - Q (+) о 563

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Car disassembly

my mom had a rule made because of her. in highschool the rule was "you cant take apart the principle's car and put it back together on the roof of the gymnasium." the year before i transfered high school, the senior class took apart the principle's car and put it back together on the roof of the library. it was amazing 293
my mom had a rule made because of her. in highschool the rule was "you cant take apart the principle's car and put it back together on the roof of the gymnasium." the year before i transfered high school, the senior class took apart the principle's car and put it back together on the roof of the library. it was amazing 293

That Happened
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Suuure

Jun 14 Follow Sometimes having a reputation for being smart beats actually being smart. I once beat my school's chess champion in a game because he spent the entire match desperately trying to work out my strategy because I was "smart" and therefor good at chess. We were playing with a Lord of the Rings chess set. I was moving the characters I liked best. I'm terrible at chess. #funny #reputation precedes me #chess
Jun 14 Follow Sometimes having a reputation for being smart beats actually being smart. I once beat my school's chess champion in a game because he spent the entire match desperately trying to work out my strategy because I was "smart" and therefor good at chess. We were playing with a Lord of the Rings chess set. I was moving the characters I liked best. I'm terrible at chess. #funny #reputation precedes me #chess

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Same thing

santiamsouthfork 22h Follow ... As a young man I was taught to open doors for women. Most seem to appreciate the act. A couple of years ago in Florida I was going into a store and behind me was a man pushing a stroller with a lady. Opened the door and stepped aside to let them pass. He nodded and went through. She stopped and stared at me. I suggested to her to go ahead. She stopped and said "you must be from Canada" I told her no, I was from Oregon. She looks at me and says dismissively, "Same thing" 43 Q 9
santiamsouthfork 22h Follow ... As a young man I was taught to open doors for women. Most seem to appreciate the act. A couple of years ago in Florida I was going into a store and behind me was a man pushing a stroller with a lady. Opened the door and stepped aside to let them pass. He nodded and went through. She stopped and stared at me. I suggested to her to go ahead. She stopped and said "you must be from Canada" I told her no, I was from Oregon. She looks at me and says dismissively, "Same thing" 43 Q 9

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Now this guy plays music

just got the opposite of a noise complaint. left me a cold coors lite too! Dear neighbor: I live next door a and I would like to discuss your music. 1) Turn it the fup. I'm not joking. You play good 5.! 2) Tell me what songs you're playing. I need that s.... for my playlist. 3) I'm not being ironic or anything, I've really enjoyed the music you've played since moved in. Sincerely, aby Todd (the male part of the couple next door) Send me some songs!
just got the opposite of a noise complaint. left me a cold coors lite too! Dear neighbor: I live next door a and I would like to discuss your music. 1) Turn it the fup. I'm not joking. You play good 5.! 2) Tell me what songs you're playing. I need that s.... for my playlist. 3) I'm not being ironic or anything, I've really enjoyed the music you've played since moved in. Sincerely, aby Todd (the male part of the couple next door) Send me some songs!

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Bro to bro

Adex ❤ @adexnelsonx Follow I went out with this girl one time and she take a look at the menu and ordered the most expensive wine OMG as i was there trying to panic the waiter just take one look at me bro to bro and told her they are out of stock, she asked for like 3 other bottles which 11:57 PM - 9/29/24 8.7M Views 1.1K 1 6.6K 238K ☐ 7.5K ←] Most relevant replies ✓ Adex @adexnelsonx. 1d are expensive and he gave her the same reply until she mentioned something I could afford, and I nodded then he proceeded and brought it in, OMG this was my best bro code moment, i went back to give him a tip but bro declined.
Adex ❤ @adexnelsonx Follow I went out with this girl one time and she take a look at the menu and ordered the most expensive wine OMG as i was there trying to panic the waiter just take one look at me bro to bro and told her they are out of stock, she asked for like 3 other bottles which 11:57 PM - 9/29/24 8.7M Views 1.1K 1 6.6K 238K ☐ 7.5K ←] Most relevant replies ✓ Adex @adexnelsonx. 1d are expensive and he gave her the same reply until she mentioned something I could afford, and I nodded then he proceeded and brought it in, OMG this was my best bro code moment, i went back to give him a tip but bro declined.

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Silenced

Σ -] MIKE JONES @who_MIKEJONES Follow 00 I lived there at the time. AT&T data building had records from the 2020 I know firemen who were instructed to hose down the servers on all floors, permanently corrupting the data. One mentioned this was against their training and protocols. They were silenced. Post your reply
Σ -] MIKE JONES @who_MIKEJONES Follow 00 I lived there at the time. AT&T data building had records from the 2020 I know firemen who were instructed to hose down the servers on all floors, permanently corrupting the data. One mentioned this was against their training and protocols. They were silenced. Post your reply

That Happened
that happened

Weird

Want to distract my cardiac alert dog? Okay! matched energy Context; I have a life threatening heart condition, I pass out extremely easy and my heart goes into dangerous rhythms without much warning. My service dog is trained to smell changes in my sweat, and alert me so I can take my emergency meds and get on the ground before I pass out. To the story: I was shopping at my local target, going about my business. Then this middle aged lady comes running up and starts saying "puppy puppy puppy! Look at me! Hi puppy!" And when he ignored her, she started yelling at me. I told her, "he is working, distracting him can be very dangerous for me." At this point, she makes that mouth agape, fish face, and starts going on about how I, "shouldn't force my dog to work, it's slavery, he's clearly unhappy, etc." (Service dogs wash out very early in training if they aren't the right fit mentally and physically for the job, high drive and high energy dogs thrive in work, it isn't abuse.) I go on to tell her that distracting him could lead to me going into cardiac arrest if he misses an alert. Her response, "I don't care! If you don't want him getting attention, you shouldn't bring him in public!" My response will forever be something I'm proud of. "Okay! Well if you think it's okay, how about I reach into your chest, and start petting and distracting your heart? You shouldn't go out in public if you don't want people messing with your ability to live!" She gave a disgusted and confused look, scoffed, and walked away muttering something about me being a freak, and how unfair it is. TLDR: Karen wants to distract my cardiac alert dog, potentially causing my death. I asked how she'd like it if I reached into her chest, and started distracting her heart!
Want to distract my cardiac alert dog? Okay! matched energy Context; I have a life threatening heart condition, I pass out extremely easy and my heart goes into dangerous rhythms without much warning. My service dog is trained to smell changes in my sweat, and alert me so I can take my emergency meds and get on the ground before I pass out. To the story: I was shopping at my local target, going about my business. Then this middle aged lady comes running up and starts saying "puppy puppy puppy! Look at me! Hi puppy!" And when he ignored her, she started yelling at me. I told her, "he is working, distracting him can be very dangerous for me." At this point, she makes that mouth agape, fish face, and starts going on about how I, "shouldn't force my dog to work, it's slavery, he's clearly unhappy, etc." (Service dogs wash out very early in training if they aren't the right fit mentally and physically for the job, high drive and high energy dogs thrive in work, it isn't abuse.) I go on to tell her that distracting him could lead to me going into cardiac arrest if he misses an alert. Her response, "I don't care! If you don't want him getting attention, you shouldn't bring him in public!" My response will forever be something I'm proud of. "Okay! Well if you think it's okay, how about I reach into your chest, and start petting and distracting your heart? You shouldn't go out in public if you don't want people messing with your ability to live!" She gave a disgusted and confused look, scoffed, and walked away muttering something about me being a freak, and how unfair it is. TLDR: Karen wants to distract my cardiac alert dog, potentially causing my death. I asked how she'd like it if I reached into her chest, and started distracting her heart!

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Did you really now?

RON GRAY @Ronsthoughts_ Me and a cop were stuck at a red light down town for like 5 minutes and no other cars were around and he looked over at me and nodded, then we both ran the red light together
RON GRAY @Ronsthoughts_ Me and a cop were stuck at a red light down town for like 5 minutes and no other cars were around and he looked over at me and nodded, then we both ran the red light together

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No joke

740 comments ☑ When i get angry my friends hold me back at school be im kinda strong and sometimes if I'm really angry my eyes turn half red no joke once my eyes turned red and we had to go in lockdown no joke. 8-7 Reply 107 B-baka...! Calm down baby cakes..! 22h Reply 42 10h Reply AINT NO WAYYY 4h Reply View 23 more v Hide 1 Ӧ P Add comment... @ 1
740 comments ☑ When i get angry my friends hold me back at school be im kinda strong and sometimes if I'm really angry my eyes turn half red no joke once my eyes turned red and we had to go in lockdown no joke. 8-7 Reply 107 B-baka...! Calm down baby cakes..! 22h Reply 42 10h Reply AINT NO WAYYY 4h Reply View 23 more v Hide 1 Ӧ P Add comment... @ 1

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Surely that happened

Last night, I went to a restaurant that I had been looking forward to dining at, but unfortunately, it was very crowded. The waiting time for a table was around 30 minutes, so I took out my phone and pretended to be engaged in a call. In a moment of mischief, I pretended to say loudly, "GET OVER HERE NOW HE'S WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!" To my surprise, six couples quickly got up and left. 15 5 comments Like Comment Send
Last night, I went to a restaurant that I had been looking forward to dining at, but unfortunately, it was very crowded. The waiting time for a table was around 30 minutes, so I took out my phone and pretended to be engaged in a call. In a moment of mischief, I pretended to say loudly, "GET OVER HERE NOW HE'S WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!" To my surprise, six couples quickly got up and left. 15 5 comments Like Comment Send

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Pink shirts

8h. Already this morning!! At the grocery store to pick up foods for clients. In check out. 2 guys behind me. Guy 1: I don't think guys should wear pink! Me: (in my head) I'm wearing a pink shirt. Guy 2: I agree. (Scoffs) I slowly turn around and in the lowest, calmest voice ever: You guys looking to get your a s kicked by a guy in a pink shirt?? Them: Cashier: How are you? Me: I'm amazing, and I don't have any coupons... but I do have my Kroger card for fuel points. and 28 others Like ☐ Comment Send 6 comments Share
8h. Already this morning!! At the grocery store to pick up foods for clients. In check out. 2 guys behind me. Guy 1: I don't think guys should wear pink! Me: (in my head) I'm wearing a pink shirt. Guy 2: I agree. (Scoffs) I slowly turn around and in the lowest, calmest voice ever: You guys looking to get your a s kicked by a guy in a pink shirt?? Them: Cashier: How are you? Me: I'm amazing, and I don't have any coupons... but I do have my Kroger card for fuel points. and 28 others Like ☐ Comment Send 6 comments Share

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