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Yeah, Like That Happened

1October 2014 Edited Saw a female I hadn't spoken to in ages today, she forced me to do something I regret doing now.. "Hey. "Oh, hey. What's up?" "Not much. Oh! you grew your hair out!" "Yup" "Why is it in a pony tail? It looks stupid like that." "Exactly. That's the point." "huh?" "I'm trying to remain single, and I've noticed I look more attractive to more women with my hair down. So ľ'm keeping it up, so I remain single." "Oh come on, that's redicul-WHOA.. Um... $" "I undid the pony tail and let my hair down and looked at her "Yeah. As I said." *Puts pony tail back up "Awwww.. " "Don't "AWWWWW" me. It's staying up. only went down to prove a point. Anyways, I gotta get gaing. Message me later." "Alright.. Bye..." "Cheer up will you?! You got to see me as a hot guy, not many get to these days, so CHEER. THE F'CK. UPII" "giggle" *****NOTE: I AM NOT TAKING DOWN THIS PONY TAIL IN ANYONE'S COMPANY, ONLY AT MY OWN HOUSE WHEN ITS JUST ME AND MY ROOM-MATES. LAST THING I NEED IS WOMEN CHASING ME, OR GUY FRIENDS GOING GAY FOR ME.(Nothing against gay, so long as it's not directed towards me.)*****

1October 2014 Edited Saw a female I hadn't spoken to in ages today, she forced me to do something I regret doing now.. "Hey. "Oh, hey. What's up?" "Not much. Oh! you grew your hair out!" "Yup" "Why is it in a pony tail? It looks stupid like that." "Exactly. That's the point." "huh?" "I'm trying to remain single, and I've noticed I look more attractive to more women with my hair down. So ľ'm keeping it up, so I remain single." "Oh come on, that's redicul-WHOA.. Um... $" "I undid the pony tail and let my hair down and looked at her "Yeah. As I said." *Puts pony tail back up "Awwww.. " "Don't "AWWWWW" me. It's staying up. only went down to prove a point. Anyways, I gotta get gaing. Message me later." "Alright.. Bye..." "Cheer up will you?! You got to see me as a hot guy, not many get to these days, so CHEER. THE F'CK. UPII" "giggle" *****NOTE: I AM NOT TAKING DOWN THIS PONY TAIL IN ANYONE'S COMPANY, ONLY AT MY OWN HOUSE WHEN ITS JUST ME AND MY ROOM-MATES. LAST THING I NEED IS WOMEN CHASING ME, OR GUY FRIENDS GOING GAY FOR ME.(Nothing against gay, so long as it's not directed towards me.)*****

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This Guy Shoots Every Attempted Robber

2 days ago (edited) I've owned a liquor store since 72 and only work 4 hours a week since 96. Since 96 l've had people attempt to rob 112 times. I've killed two of them, unfortunately. The other 110 were shot or shot at. Keep your hands off my money and we'll never have a problem. 3 34

2 days ago (edited) I've owned a liquor store since 72 and only work 4 hours a week since 96. Since 96 l've had people attempt to rob 112 times. I've killed two of them, unfortunately. The other 110 were shot or shot at. Keep your hands off my money and we'll never have a problem. 3 34

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That Time of the Month

My female bestie: *stops to buy tampons* Male clerk: Ohhhh, it's that time of the month, eh? Bestie: ... Bestie: No, actually I'm a dude and I am buying these for your mom. Kinda sad I won't be able to screw her tonight but...you know how it is, right? Old man in line behind her: I'm not current on all the lingo but I believe you've just been "burned," young man.

My female bestie: *stops to buy tampons* Male clerk: Ohhhh, it's that time of the month, eh? Bestie: ... Bestie: No, actually I'm a dude and I am buying these for your mom. Kinda sad I won't be able to screw her tonight but...you know how it is, right? Old man in line behind her: I'm not current on all the lingo but I believe you've just been "burned," young man.

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If That Actually Happened This Would Be Super Creepy

FELL ASLEEP ON MY FLIGHT N WOKE UP W MY CHEEK ON THE SHOULDER OF A CUTE BOY NEXT TO ME NI TOLD HIM "OMG SRRY THATS EMBARRASSING" BUT THEN HE SAID "DONT BE SORRY WERE PRACTICALLY MARRIED NOW THAT WEVE NAPPED TOGETHER" N ASKED IF I WANTED TO GRAB A DRINK NEXT WEEK. WHATS GOING ON 9:18 AM · 3/7/19 · Twitter for iPhone 29.7K Retweets 3,674 Quote Tweets 269K Likes

FELL ASLEEP ON MY FLIGHT N WOKE UP W MY CHEEK ON THE SHOULDER OF A CUTE BOY NEXT TO ME NI TOLD HIM "OMG SRRY THATS EMBARRASSING" BUT THEN HE SAID "DONT BE SORRY WERE PRACTICALLY MARRIED NOW THAT WEVE NAPPED TOGETHER" N ASKED IF I WANTED TO GRAB A DRINK NEXT WEEK. WHATS GOING ON 9:18 AM · 3/7/19 · Twitter for iPhone 29.7K Retweets 3,674 Quote Tweets 269K Likes

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9 Years Without a License Plate

asked a question in ... 1d · A Are y'all driving around without license plates? *hypothetically* I'm thinking you wouldn't get very far without getting pulled over. How would you handle that situation? 42 46 Answers O Like ? Answer Share 9 years no tag..pulled over at least 50 times..zero tickets except once..and the 1 time I did get a ticket,I got it thrown out in pretrial, and went on to sue them in a federal lawsuit,which they decided to fold on and make me a very nice settlement offer ,which I took and used to pay off my house and buy a new truck.. highly recommend studying this subject in fine detail Like Reply 32

asked a question in ... 1d · A Are y'all driving around without license plates? *hypothetically* I'm thinking you wouldn't get very far without getting pulled over. How would you handle that situation? 42 46 Answers O Like ? Answer Share 9 years no tag..pulled over at least 50 times..zero tickets except once..and the 1 time I did get a ticket,I got it thrown out in pretrial, and went on to sue them in a federal lawsuit,which they decided to fold on and make me a very nice settlement offer ,which I took and used to pay off my house and buy a new truck.. highly recommend studying this subject in fine detail Like Reply 32

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Good Old /r/Antiwork

r/antiwork + Join 否 3 9, 14 e 16 1 18 My boss said to me "You're so skinny!" T replied, "YeahI don't really eat a lot." She asked Why?? So I looked her dead in the eye and said "I can't afford a lot of food." The resulting 5 minute awkward silence was the best five minutes of my life. 45.2k 2.0k ↑, Share + Award

r/antiwork + Join 否 3 9, 14 e 16 1 18 My boss said to me "You're so skinny!" T replied, "YeahI don't really eat a lot." She asked Why?? So I looked her dead in the eye and said "I can't afford a lot of food." The resulting 5 minute awkward silence was the best five minutes of my life. 45.2k 2.0k ↑, Share + Award

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Blackjack

My 103yr old grandfather has gone "missing" from his independent living facility that doesn't let people out cause COVID. I'm the only one he'll answer the phone for. So I call him. He's at the casino playing blackjack. He bribed some random new aid to take him there. Go Pop 3:59 AM · Jan 5, 2022 · Twitter for Android 3,992 Retweets 726 Quote Tweets 40.6K Likes

My 103yr old grandfather has gone "missing" from his independent living facility that doesn't let people out cause COVID. I'm the only one he'll answer the phone for. So I call him. He's at the casino playing blackjack. He bribed some random new aid to take him there. Go Pop 3:59 AM · Jan 5, 2022 · Twitter for Android 3,992 Retweets 726 Quote Tweets 40.6K Likes

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Emotionally Intelligent Toddler

when you are raising an emotionally intelligent toddler so when you asked "can mommy have 10mins to reset" he responded w/ "feel your feelings - big or small" & let's you drink. your coffee in peace... TikTok

when you are raising an emotionally intelligent toddler so when you asked "can mommy have 10mins to reset" he responded w/ "feel your feelings - big or small" & let's you drink. your coffee in peace... TikTok

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Vegan McNuggets

Following I'm a supervisor at McDonald's and we ran out of chicken to make McNuggets the other day so I made a like 10 batches of vegan nuggets with the ingredients we had and none of the customers realized n I even heard people they tasted better than usual ee 4:35 AM - 30 Sep 2018 33 Retweets 285 Likes O 23 t7 33 285

Following I'm a supervisor at McDonald's and we ran out of chicken to make McNuggets the other day so I made a like 10 batches of vegan nuggets with the ingredients we had and none of the customers realized n I even heard people they tasted better than usual ee 4:35 AM - 30 Sep 2018 33 Retweets 285 Likes O 23 t7 33 285

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And Then Everyone Clapped

•.• Went to Panera today with my 9 year old son. There were a group of cops eating lunch. Out of nowhere, my son faced the cops and yelled “I can't breathe! I can't breathe!" The cops rushed over to check if he was okay. My son said he was fine and asked the officers if they would've cared to save him if he was black... The cops were completely speechless. Send Message

•.• Went to Panera today with my 9 year old son. There were a group of cops eating lunch. Out of nowhere, my son faced the cops and yelled “I can't breathe! I can't breathe!" The cops rushed over to check if he was okay. My son said he was fine and asked the officers if they would've cared to save him if he was black... The cops were completely speechless. Send Message

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The Teacher and Student Have the Same Handwriting

1. In which battle did Napoleon die? His last one 2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom of the pape 3. The Ravi River flows in which state? Liquid state 4. What is the main reason for divorce? MARRIAGE A for creativity

1. In which battle did Napoleon die? His last one 2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom of the pape 3. The Ravi River flows in which state? Liquid state 4. What is the main reason for divorce? MARRIAGE A for creativity

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Workplace Required J.K. Rowling Purity Pledge

al90%I 20:44 5 FARRY POTTER Irefused to sayl Chought JK Rowling was transphobic at work and was fired Hart Potter Bunny O 1 views 9h Forest Row, England, GB ARRY POT HARRY POS

al90%I 20:44 5 FARRY POTTER Irefused to sayl Chought JK Rowling was transphobic at work and was fired Hart Potter Bunny O 1 views 9h Forest Row, England, GB ARRY POT HARRY POS

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Free Hugs for Atheists

Yesterday I went to a busy intersection in the city and put up a sign saying "free hugs for atheists" Thousands of atheists came up for a hug. Most of them admitted they haven't felt the touch of another human for years. One even broke down in tears and said: "thank you. This is all I needed to give up my life of atheism, crime and drug abuse. Tomorrow I will go to church and re dedicate my life to God" Atheists don't need "scientific evidence", or "irrefutable facts" to give up atheism, all they need is some love and kindness 74 67 comments O Like Comment Send Write a comment...

Yesterday I went to a busy intersection in the city and put up a sign saying "free hugs for atheists" Thousands of atheists came up for a hug. Most of them admitted they haven't felt the touch of another human for years. One even broke down in tears and said: "thank you. This is all I needed to give up my life of atheism, crime and drug abuse. Tomorrow I will go to church and re dedicate my life to God" Atheists don't need "scientific evidence", or "irrefutable facts" to give up atheism, all they need is some love and kindness 74 67 comments O Like Comment Send Write a comment...

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Sorry

when i was in primary school the head teacher stood up in assembly and said "who can tell me the hardest word to say" so i put my hand up and said "antidisestablishmentarianism" and the principal said "no the correct answer is the word sorry“ and it was in that moment that i lost my trust in the entire education system Source: 377,117 notes

when i was in primary school the head teacher stood up in assembly and said "who can tell me the hardest word to say" so i put my hand up and said "antidisestablishmentarianism" and the principal said "no the correct answer is the word sorry“ and it was in that moment that i lost my trust in the entire education system Source: 377,117 notes

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Mommy, I Disagree with the Socioeconomic Ramifications of This Product

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Starbucks

Just gave my name in starbucks as 'White people need to apologise for the terrible things their ancestors have done to people of colour over the centuries'. As the barrista screamed out my 'name' repeatedly, the whole place erupted into applause. Result. Try it. 2018-08-25, 7:37 PM O reddit

Just gave my name in starbucks as 'White people need to apologise for the terrible things their ancestors have done to people of colour over the centuries'. As the barrista screamed out my 'name' repeatedly, the whole place erupted into applause. Result. Try it. 2018-08-25, 7:37 PM O reddit

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