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Geology Final

T 5 in college I took my geology final on LSD and scored the highest grade in 3 years. I identified the rocks by licking them 4:40 PM 1/19/23 2.8M Views 107K Likes 5,226 Retweets 604 Quotes 27 口 t. 1d not kidding. I felt like I unearthed hidden knowledge. I took my hoodie on and off like 40 times during the test 16 165 15.8K 192K

T 5 in college I took my geology final on LSD and scored the highest grade in 3 years. I identified the rocks by licking them 4:40 PM 1/19/23 2.8M Views 107K Likes 5,226 Retweets 604 Quotes 27 口 t. 1d not kidding. I felt like I unearthed hidden knowledge. I took my hoodie on and off like 40 times during the test 16 165 15.8K 192K

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Communism

So proud of my youngest! She was in line for lunch at school today, it was French toast sticks and sausage. The boy in front of her said No to the sausage and she called him a communist She's in kindergarten #proudparent Like 5 people like this. Comment Share Stitch It

So proud of my youngest! She was in line for lunch at school today, it was French toast sticks and sausage. The boy in front of her said No to the sausage and she called him a communist She's in kindergarten #proudparent Like 5 people like this. Comment Share Stitch It

that happened /r/thathappened thathappened lying fail

Apparently This Wasn't Intended As Satire

A rare moment of rabbitkin acceptance I went out for dinner with my anti-otherkin mother last week, and as we were ordering our food, the waiter asked us what we wanted. I said "As a rabbitkin, I would like some kind of mixture of human food and rabbit food. As the waiter wrote this down, my mom yelled at me "FOR THE LAST TIME, OTHERKINS ARE DISGUSTING! THEY PRETEND TO BE SOMETHING THEY ARE NOT! NO DAUGHTER OF MINE IS RABBITKIN!"! As I cried and cried and cried, the waiter said to my mother "You are a small-minded bigot! As it turns out, I am a plantkin myself, and my wife is a spacekin! How dare you offend us like that!" and threw her out of the restaurant. The entire restaurant began to clap and cheer. I got a free dessert, and they added a new option to the menu: Rabbitkin special surprise!

A rare moment of rabbitkin acceptance I went out for dinner with my anti-otherkin mother last week, and as we were ordering our food, the waiter asked us what we wanted. I said "As a rabbitkin, I would like some kind of mixture of human food and rabbit food. As the waiter wrote this down, my mom yelled at me "FOR THE LAST TIME, OTHERKINS ARE DISGUSTING! THEY PRETEND TO BE SOMETHING THEY ARE NOT! NO DAUGHTER OF MINE IS RABBITKIN!"! As I cried and cried and cried, the waiter said to my mother "You are a small-minded bigot! As it turns out, I am a plantkin myself, and my wife is a spacekin! How dare you offend us like that!" and threw her out of the restaurant. The entire restaurant began to clap and cheer. I got a free dessert, and they added a new option to the menu: Rabbitkin special surprise!

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Treadmill Hacking

A guy whistled at me at the gym. 30 minutes later I saw him going to the treadmill, used my phone to hack it, and set it to 50 mph. He fell on his ass and the owner gave me a free 12 month subscripton

A guy whistled at me at the gym. 30 minutes later I saw him going to the treadmill, used my phone to hack it, and set it to 50 mph. He fell on his ass and the owner gave me a free 12 month subscripton

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Imagine Ditching School for 30 Mins Everyday Without Getting Caught

When I was in high school, we had 30 min for lunch. would take mine and run a mile down the road and give it to a homeless man. I did this every other day untill graduated. He came to my graduation VIA 9GAG.COM

When I was in high school, we had 30 min for lunch. would take mine and run a mile down the road and give it to a homeless man. I did this every other day untill graduated. He came to my graduation VIA 9GAG.COM

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And Then the Man Took Him on a Tour of His Chocolate Factory

n 8d ago 30 years ago a homeless man asked me for money to buy a meal. I took him to dinner then bought him a new pair of shoes, some socks and a blanket. Then at the end of the night he revealed that he wasn't homeless and that in fact he was wealthy and owned a business and then he offered me a job. That job paid twice what I had been earning. THAT, he said, was how he recruited his employees. 574 D 24 replies

n 8d ago 30 years ago a homeless man asked me for money to buy a meal. I took him to dinner then bought him a new pair of shoes, some socks and a blanket. Then at the end of the night he revealed that he wasn't homeless and that in fact he was wealthy and owned a business and then he offered me a job. That job paid twice what I had been earning. THAT, he said, was how he recruited his employees. 574 D 24 replies

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That's Not "Lifelike" Anyways

Suggestions il y a 14 heures 3 19 Times Kids Were Just A Little TOO Creepy om/TooCreepyKid X ... Replying to @ My son once built a VERY lifelike old factory out of blocks and said "this is where I used to work when I was alive before". Aged 3.

Suggestions il y a 14 heures 3 19 Times Kids Were Just A Little TOO Creepy om/TooCreepyKid X ... Replying to @ My son once built a VERY lifelike old factory out of blocks and said "this is where I used to work when I was alive before". Aged 3.

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Is That a Threat?

George Santos @Santos4Congress When I was a secret agent in the CIA, I learned h---------- a man with my bare hands a hundred different ways. Let that be a reminder to everyone trying to defame me and call me a compulsive liar 10:341/7/23

George Santos @Santos4Congress When I was a secret agent in the CIA, I learned h---------- a man with my bare hands a hundred different ways. Let that be a reminder to everyone trying to defame me and call me a compulsive liar 10:341/7/23

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Not to Be Political, but...Nope

Rick Allen (R-GA) recorded saying the GOP is going after Social Security because people "want to work longer." "Many people are coming up to me on walkers, saying 'Rick, we'd like to work into our 90's to make America Great." REP. RICK W. ALLEN (R) Georgia 20:31 17 Jan 23 583K Views 2,259 Retweets PART

Rick Allen (R-GA) recorded saying the GOP is going after Social Security because people "want to work longer." "Many people are coming up to me on walkers, saying 'Rick, we'd like to work into our 90's to make America Great." REP. RICK W. ALLEN (R) Georgia 20:31 17 Jan 23 583K Views 2,259 Retweets PART

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If You Have a PhD You Should Be Smart Enough Not to Post This

My 8yo came across my bound thesis in the basement, "read" it, and spontaneously wrote me this note. I will now be listing her as a suggested reviewer for all my manuscript submissions. Dear His (Daddy), Name I * was very amazed by your work. It suprized me that it took four whole years to write that your thess. I'm sure it took a lot of hard work. I found out lots of things about Genome sequence a. I also like learning about what studied and were intrestal you in A lot of things make me say aw some". Your younger daunter,

My 8yo came across my bound thesis in the basement, "read" it, and spontaneously wrote me this note. I will now be listing her as a suggested reviewer for all my manuscript submissions. Dear His (Daddy), Name I * was very amazed by your work. It suprized me that it took four whole years to write that your thess. I'm sure it took a lot of hard work. I found out lots of things about Genome sequence a. I also like learning about what studied and were intrestal you in A lot of things make me say aw some". Your younger daunter,

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Chad vs The Rock

Funny story time: A couple of years ago I was working out in a gym in Australia when all of a sudden Dwayne Johnson comes into our gym, everyone just drops all their weights and starts ass licking the dude while Im sitting here benching 450 and just trying to get in a good workout, I fing shout at these ass clowns to stop drooling over an idiot. Everyone just goes quiet and Dwayne comes over, acting all tough and gets real close to my bench, I rep out another 12 and he's just standing there like an idiot. He tells me to say that again, I get right up and uppercut him before he even gets the chance to finish his sentence. Safe to say he never came back to my gym

Funny story time: A couple of years ago I was working out in a gym in Australia when all of a sudden Dwayne Johnson comes into our gym, everyone just drops all their weights and starts ass licking the dude while Im sitting here benching 450 and just trying to get in a good workout, I fing shout at these ass clowns to stop drooling over an idiot. Everyone just goes quiet and Dwayne comes over, acting all tough and gets real close to my bench, I rep out another 12 and he's just standing there like an idiot. He tells me to say that again, I get right up and uppercut him before he even gets the chance to finish his sentence. Safe to say he never came back to my gym

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No One Cares?

Yesterday at 6:40 PM Cashier: wow, I love your sunglasses Me: omg thanks! I love them, too even though they were a little expensive. Cashier: like $50? Me: Closer to $150 Cashier: Mouth drops. Me: Have a great evening. I know I'm expensive. #sorrynotsorry #yougetwhatyoupayfor 2 ...

Yesterday at 6:40 PM Cashier: wow, I love your sunglasses Me: omg thanks! I love them, too even though they were a little expensive. Cashier: like $50? Me: Closer to $150 Cashier: Mouth drops. Me: Have a great evening. I know I'm expensive. #sorrynotsorry #yougetwhatyoupayfor 2 ...

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Probably a Pyramid Scheme Recruitment Post

FedEx man: "what is this mo, manate, monáe stuff?" Me: "it's Monat but you can call it whatever you want. it's shampoo and hair care sent directly from the distributor to the customer." (Shaking his head & smiling) FedEx man: "Man, I deliver more of this stuff than anything else and everyone smiles when I deliver these boxes! It makes my day & it's pretty good job security! This stuff must be good?! Do you sell it?" Me: "yes I do!...and as far as your job security goes, in the last year we've sold more shampoo than ANY other shampoo company in the world & we're only 4 yrs. old!" FedEx man: "You gotta get me a card, my wife needs to try this... and maybe I do too?! (As he looks in the mirror combing his fingers through his hair) Be sure to tell your company I said thank you, & good job!" So, on behalf of my FedEx man, thank you MONAT !!

FedEx man: "what is this mo, manate, monáe stuff?" Me: "it's Monat but you can call it whatever you want. it's shampoo and hair care sent directly from the distributor to the customer." (Shaking his head & smiling) FedEx man: "Man, I deliver more of this stuff than anything else and everyone smiles when I deliver these boxes! It makes my day & it's pretty good job security! This stuff must be good?! Do you sell it?" Me: "yes I do!...and as far as your job security goes, in the last year we've sold more shampoo than ANY other shampoo company in the world & we're only 4 yrs. old!" FedEx man: "You gotta get me a card, my wife needs to try this... and maybe I do too?! (As he looks in the mirror combing his fingers through his hair) Be sure to tell your company I said thank you, & good job!" So, on behalf of my FedEx man, thank you MONAT !!

that happened /r/thathappened cringe

Still Psychotic Even Thought It's Fake

You bully me for 8 years? Enjoy missing half your body So, to start off, I a was 14, straight A student and vengeful as vengeful can get. when this happened. When I was 6, new kid came to my school (we'll call him Douchebag) and started picking on me, but I didn't really pay too much attention. Fast forward a couple of years, and I'm 11. The picking transformed into straight up bullying. Calling me names, beating me up for being a "nerd", being atheist (his family is Christian), stealing from me, he even hit me in the leg with a METAL baseball bat, destroying my fibula and tibia (they're fine now). It got to the point where the popular kids ganged up on me and beat me up every day. This continued until that very day. We were leaving on a trip to the zoo, I was widely interested in animals, so I was excited. Douchebag must had seen this, because he made my day a living hell. The time came. We got to the bears, and Douchebag came to me and whispered to me: "I'd love you being eaten alive by those things." Before we continue, I'll say that there was a 15-foot-or-so gap that separated the bridge we were standing on and the floor where the bears were. Back to the story. I backed off and waited for him to be distracted. I saw the opportunity, grabbed him by the legs and dropped him besides a bear. The bear must have been scared, because he started mauling Douchebag. Two other bears joined. We were evacuated immediately. I just recently heard that Douchebag survived, but is missing both his eyes, his nose, his left arm and both his legs. Nothing more satisfying than seeing the one who tormented you for almost a decade fall victim to your plans. No one messed with me after that day. Douchebag, if you're reading this, I'm not sorry. Oh that's right, you have no eyes. EDIT 23/04/2019: I just got a text from my friend that Douchebag actually committed suicide yesterday. Dc ✓ mess with me, or you'll learn the lesson the hard way.

You bully me for 8 years? Enjoy missing half your body So, to start off, I a was 14, straight A student and vengeful as vengeful can get. when this happened. When I was 6, new kid came to my school (we'll call him Douchebag) and started picking on me, but I didn't really pay too much attention. Fast forward a couple of years, and I'm 11. The picking transformed into straight up bullying. Calling me names, beating me up for being a "nerd", being atheist (his family is Christian), stealing from me, he even hit me in the leg with a METAL baseball bat, destroying my fibula and tibia (they're fine now). It got to the point where the popular kids ganged up on me and beat me up every day. This continued until that very day. We were leaving on a trip to the zoo, I was widely interested in animals, so I was excited. Douchebag must had seen this, because he made my day a living hell. The time came. We got to the bears, and Douchebag came to me and whispered to me: "I'd love you being eaten alive by those things." Before we continue, I'll say that there was a 15-foot-or-so gap that separated the bridge we were standing on and the floor where the bears were. Back to the story. I backed off and waited for him to be distracted. I saw the opportunity, grabbed him by the legs and dropped him besides a bear. The bear must have been scared, because he started mauling Douchebag. Two other bears joined. We were evacuated immediately. I just recently heard that Douchebag survived, but is missing both his eyes, his nose, his left arm and both his legs. Nothing more satisfying than seeing the one who tormented you for almost a decade fall victim to your plans. No one messed with me after that day. Douchebag, if you're reading this, I'm not sorry. Oh that's right, you have no eyes. EDIT 23/04/2019: I just got a text from my friend that Douchebag actually committed suicide yesterday. Dc ✓ mess with me, or you'll learn the lesson the hard way.

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I Guess Teachers Get Bored And Make Stuff Up Too

Today I let a student go to the restroom. Apparently he was unaware that bathrooms amplify sound so when he did the four note whistle from the hunger games, it rang down the hall. The funny part, however, is that my class became utterly silent and did the three finger salute. All of them. In perfect unison. It was kinda cool.

Today I let a student go to the restroom. Apparently he was unaware that bathrooms amplify sound so when he did the four note whistle from the hunger games, it rang down the hall. The funny part, however, is that my class became utterly silent and did the three finger salute. All of them. In perfect unison. It was kinda cool.

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Just Your Average School Day

Replying to C My 12 yr old nephew in public school got in trouble for being too heterosexual. He didn't want to see the animataion p--- the lesbian girls were forcing him to watch when teachers left the room. I think he would of been charged if roles were reversed. Instead he got a chaperone. 9:35 AM 30 Dec 22 .

Replying to C My 12 yr old nephew in public school got in trouble for being too heterosexual. He didn't want to see the animataion p--- the lesbian girls were forcing him to watch when teachers left the room. I think he would of been charged if roles were reversed. Instead he got a chaperone. 9:35 AM 30 Dec 22 .

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