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Video Game Logic
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Video Game Logic
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Video Game Logic
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Video Game Logic
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Video Game Logic
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PLAYER SELECT Somebody's parent, relative or teacher who somehow got stuck playing this game. Has no idea who any of the other characters is, so he picks Mario. Alternatively, the most boring m----------- at the party MARIO Hipster c--- who thinks Mario is too "mainstream," so he goes with the lesser acknowledged Luigi. MARIO LUIGI PEACH Probably doesn't realize Luigi is literally Mario with a different coat of paint, acting as a fitting metaphor for his contrarian personality. YOSHI D.K WARIO Someone's mom or sister was forced in to playing this game, and Peach is the only racer who is actually their gender. Ultra try-hard deluxe with a constant thirst for victory no matter what the cost. His life is so meticulously tended to that even a game of Mario Kart must suit his desire to always win. Probably in the same boat as a first- rate Mario picker, but with far less potential skill PEACH As a result, he's a complete p------------, at least in terms of personality. Probably the coolest guy playing right now, this player saw a big fat Jew on the roster and thought 'yes, this is what I want to represent me while I play. AD Probably a nice kid. Reasonably friendly, considerate and even a little compassionate. He's tolerable to the point of being easy to step all over. Like a Luigi picker, but actually a good person. WARIO Somebody's younger brother. Saw a 'dwagon' when choosing his racer and gravitated toward it like a fat kid toward candy. And, without fail, he's going to grow YOSHI stoner guy who's alright to be around if you can tolerate his habit. Toked up on a 24/7 basis and eats all the snacks. Not a bad person, but expect them to drive backwards the entire race because it's funny. Logically he should be too high to drive. Yet somehow, he passively does pretty well.

Video Game Logic
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Video Game Logic
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Video Game Logic
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