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And Use Some Soap | r/wholesomememes

Handjobs [nsfw] A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu: "Cheeseburger: $5 Fries: $3 Handjobs: $10. He walks up to the window and there is a beautiful blonde working behind the counter. "Are you the one that gives the handjobs?" he asks, handing her ten dollars. "Yes, I am," she replies seductively. "Well, wash your hands, I want two cheeseburgers."
Handjobs [nsfw] A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu: "Cheeseburger: $5 Fries: $3 Handjobs: $10. He walks up to the window and there is a beautiful blonde working behind the counter. "Are you the one that gives the handjobs?" he asks, handing her ten dollars. "Yes, I am," she replies seductively. "Well, wash your hands, I want two cheeseburgers."

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That's true love that is. | r/wholesomememes

the biggest lie i ever told & how my husband came to protect it for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive like "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?" and then i'd have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter - it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me. but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut m&ms when i'm at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes.
the biggest lie i ever told & how my husband came to protect it for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive like "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?" and then i'd have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter - it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me. but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut m&ms when i'm at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes.

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/r/wholesomememes reddit wholesome text font document peanut m&ms peanut butter allergy office party husband wife lie peanut allergy smell smell of peanut butter

Demons don't often get homemade sandwiches. | r/wholesomememes

t-s While putting your favorite condiment on a sandwich, you accidentally make a magical occult symbol and summon a demon You silently take two more slices of bread out of the package and make another sandwich. You put it on a plate with a handful of potato chips and hand it to the demon. He takes the sandwich, smiles and vanishes in a puff of demonic smoke. The next day you get that job promotion you were after. There was no contract. No words spoken. You owe nothing. But every now and then, another demon pops in for lunch. Demons don't often get homemade sandwiches.
t-s While putting your favorite condiment on a sandwich, you accidentally make a magical occult symbol and summon a demon You silently take two more slices of bread out of the package and make another sandwich. You put it on a plate with a handful of potato chips and hand it to the demon. He takes the sandwich, smiles and vanishes in a puff of demonic smoke. The next day you get that job promotion you were after. There was no contract. No words spoken. You owe nothing. But every now and then, another demon pops in for lunch. Demons don't often get homemade sandwiches.

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Aww, my teacher sat me next to my bullies (just kidding) | r/wholesomememes

kelly krajewski @kellykrajewski In 8th grade we had to turn in a weekly journal and the day after I turned in one about the kid I had a crush on in class my teacher redid the seating chart and put us next to each other real wing woman work
kelly krajewski @kellykrajewski In 8th grade we had to turn in a weekly journal and the day after I turned in one about the kid I had a crush on in class my teacher redid the seating chart and put us next to each other real wing woman work

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Life is not that bad | r/wholesomememes

There is a Dutch nursing home that provides rent-free housing to university students in return for being good neighbors, interacting with older residents, attending parties, etc to ward off loneliness and depression common in the elderly.
There is a Dutch nursing home that provides rent-free housing to university students in return for being good neighbors, interacting with older residents, attending parties, etc to ward off loneliness and depression common in the elderly.

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Wholesome Human | r/wholesomememes

12:35 pm ll Telstra 4G r/australia u/Artaud_Damaged 8h I just called Lifeline Australia... no politics And I understand that they can't give me their real name, but I felt uncomfortable talking to someone without a name, and so I asked for a fake one, and I got hung up on. So yeah. Good to know they are willing to hang up on me as well. LShare 52 228 BEST COMMENTS lostinhoppers 24 my real name is Michael, I have PMed you my phone. 8h Reply 649 Artaud_Damaged, 7h I need you all to know, whoever the f--- Michael is. I called him. He helped. I am still alive 495 Add a comment
12:35 pm ll Telstra 4G r/australia u/Artaud_Damaged 8h I just called Lifeline Australia... no politics And I understand that they can't give me their real name, but I felt uncomfortable talking to someone without a name, and so I asked for a fake one, and I got hung up on. So yeah. Good to know they are willing to hang up on me as well. LShare 52 228 BEST COMMENTS lostinhoppers 24 my real name is Michael, I have PMed you my phone. 8h Reply 649 Artaud_Damaged, 7h I need you all to know, whoever the f--- Michael is. I called him. He helped. I am still alive 495 Add a comment

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ain't that wholesome ? | r/wholesomememes

This is Willis Carrier. Не invented the air conditioner Let's all take a moment and give thanks....
This is Willis Carrier. Не invented the air conditioner Let's all take a moment and give thanks....

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It's so heartwarming seeing parents do the best with what they've got | r/wholesomememes

StuTim 22h S 20 Awards Growing up I didn't realize how poor we were. My parents were amazing at providing for us. We loved watching baseball games and I wanted to go to a game so bad. We never could afford it. To make up for it, while we were at school, my mom made up tickets to that night's game and money for us to "spend". When we got home she had set up chairs in front of the TV and numbered them. Gave us the tickets and money and told us to go clean up before the game. Come game time we lined up at the doorway, my dad took our tickets and told us how to qet to our seats. After the game started my parents went to the kitchen and had a tray of hot dogs, candy and soda. "Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs!" We got out the money my mom made and bought whatever snacks we wanted. Best baseball qame I've ever been to.
StuTim 22h S 20 Awards Growing up I didn't realize how poor we were. My parents were amazing at providing for us. We loved watching baseball games and I wanted to go to a game so bad. We never could afford it. To make up for it, while we were at school, my mom made up tickets to that night's game and money for us to "spend". When we got home she had set up chairs in front of the TV and numbered them. Gave us the tickets and money and told us to go clean up before the game. Come game time we lined up at the doorway, my dad took our tickets and told us how to qet to our seats. After the game started my parents went to the kitchen and had a tray of hot dogs, candy and soda. "Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs!" We got out the money my mom made and bought whatever snacks we wanted. Best baseball qame I've ever been to.

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Wholesome shark | r/wholesomememes

IN THE WILD Shark Swims Up To Diver For a Cuddle Every Time She Sees Him This has been going on for 7 years! ADREMD
IN THE WILD Shark Swims Up To Diver For a Cuddle Every Time She Sees Him This has been going on for 7 years! ADREMD

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*Everyone liked that* | r/wholesomememes

(KEANU) |(C)H(A)RLES (RĒ)EVE(S) 'LITERALLY EVERYONE WITH A SOUL
(KEANU) |(C)H(A)RLES (RĒ)EVE(S) 'LITERALLY EVERYONE WITH A SOUL

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Wholesome The Office | r/wholesomememes

The guy next to me on the train was watching the office, so naturally I not so subtly watched along. He noticed me watching with him and turned on the subtitles. I hope he knows that I would die for him tbh
The guy next to me on the train was watching the office, so naturally I not so subtly watched along. He noticed me watching with him and turned on the subtitles. I hope he knows that I would die for him tbh

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the best player | r/wholesomememes

WHEN YOU TAKE A SELFIE TO GET A PIC OF THE HOTTIE BEHIND YOU
WHEN YOU TAKE A SELFIE TO GET A PIC OF THE HOTTIE BEHIND YOU

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wholesome little sis:,) | r/wholesomememes

dionnesy!: So I came home from school to see my 7 year old sister putting skittles with my antidepressants, I went up to her and asked "Hey what you doing?" She looked at me, smiled and said "Skittles make me happy so I put them with your medicine that makes you happy so you can be extra happy." That was the cutest thing i've ever heard.
dionnesy!: So I came home from school to see my 7 year old sister putting skittles with my antidepressants, I went up to her and asked "Hey what you doing?" She looked at me, smiled and said "Skittles make me happy so I put them with your medicine that makes you happy so you can be extra happy." That was the cutest thing i've ever heard.

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Way to go Ethiopia! | r/wholesomememes

Africa Ethiopia plants than 200 million trees in 1 day more By Elias Meseret | AP July 29, 2019 at 10:10 AM EDT Everyone 1iked that
Africa Ethiopia plants than 200 million trees in 1 day more By Elias Meseret | AP July 29, 2019 at 10:10 AM EDT Everyone 1iked that

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Lil Nas X is worried about the world too! | r/wholesomememes

nope @LilNasX me and the bro talkin plans to reverse global warming RAISE PLOW PLOW 8:26 AM 26 Jul 19 Twitter for iPhone
nope @LilNasX me and the bro talkin plans to reverse global warming RAISE PLOW PLOW 8:26 AM 26 Jul 19 Twitter for iPhone

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I texted this lady as a prank, turned out to make my day :) and quite possibly hers. | r/wholesomememes

Hey carl, you still up for tonight x i got the crumpets xo text me when you leave xoxo ready 1:36 PM Wrong number 2:36 PM Oh no 4:41 PM Want to join us? 4:42 PM Gave me agreat laugh. I'm a 74 yr old married woman and not very healthy! 6:27 PM
Hey carl, you still up for tonight x i got the crumpets xo text me when you leave xoxo ready 1:36 PM Wrong number 2:36 PM Oh no 4:41 PM Want to join us? 4:42 PM Gave me agreat laugh. I'm a 74 yr old married woman and not very healthy! 6:27 PM

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Even the most terrifying creatures can be wholesome, at times. | r/wholesomememes

theycantalk.com whoa, someone locked that Poor human in a case and dropped him in the ocean. E don't worry little buddy, i'll get you out
theycantalk.com whoa, someone locked that Poor human in a case and dropped him in the ocean. E don't worry little buddy, i'll get you out

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Wholesome police and community coming together on New Year’s Eve | r/wholesomememes

not-in-front-of-the-klingons On new years eve here in New Zealand some people built a sandcastle island complete with a picnic table when the tide was out so that when the tide came back in they would have their own private island and therefor not be subject to the local liquor ban. Good Job New Zealand not-in-front-of-the-klingons neutralfightmilkhotel you forgot the best part: Public drinking has been banned in the entire Coromandel area and yeiolators.could.have taced fines up to $250 However, the construction attracted admiration from the police with Inspector John Kelly commenting That's creative thinking-IfI had known [about it]I probably would have joined them.yy 6 Source: not-in-front-of-the-klingons
not-in-front-of-the-klingons On new years eve here in New Zealand some people built a sandcastle island complete with a picnic table when the tide was out so that when the tide came back in they would have their own private island and therefor not be subject to the local liquor ban. Good Job New Zealand not-in-front-of-the-klingons neutralfightmilkhotel you forgot the best part: Public drinking has been banned in the entire Coromandel area and yeiolators.could.have taced fines up to $250 However, the construction attracted admiration from the police with Inspector John Kelly commenting That's creative thinking-IfI had known [about it]I probably would have joined them.yy 6 Source: not-in-front-of-the-klingons

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A good hug can make everyone happy | r/wholesomememes

When you're dark and spooky but still a loving and caring person
When you're dark and spooky but still a loving and caring person

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Thanks to those angels :) | r/wholesomememes

earnedmagic bless the people who make those youtube videos on how to do simple tasks and fix stuff. not for fame, not for money. just "here's how to use wall spackle", here's how to clean and maintain a vacuum cleaner. having trouble with some assembly instructions? they've got you covered. no shame, no 'just figure it out. irl angels.
earnedmagic bless the people who make those youtube videos on how to do simple tasks and fix stuff. not for fame, not for money. just "here's how to use wall spackle", here's how to clean and maintain a vacuum cleaner. having trouble with some assembly instructions? they've got you covered. no shame, no 'just figure it out. irl angels.

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