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One of the Rare Times Where Bert Does a Good Deed

Bert ditches his hot drugs by cleverly giving them away to children as Pixi-Stix·The Police are none the wiser.

Bert ditches his hot drugs by cleverly giving them away to children as Pixi-Stix·The Police are none the wiser.

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"Charlie is overrunning the base! I repeat, Charlie is overrunning the base!"

The gang shares a hearty laugh as Bert's Vietnam flashbacks get triggered.

The gang shares a hearty laugh as Bert's Vietnam flashbacks get triggered.

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Protip: Never give sheeps drugs

The Count cannot sleep because the sheep still scream with pain and ectasy two hours later.

The Count cannot sleep because the sheep still scream with pain and ectasy two hours later.

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Elmo and His Future Eating Habits

Elmo receives a visit from his future, time-travelling, more cannibalistic self.

Elmo receives a visit from his future, time-travelling, more cannibalistic self.

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Dick Demon

Ernie was shocked to find that after he finished masturbating, instead of the regular semen, a large demon of lust exited his d---.

Ernie was shocked to find that after he finished masturbating, instead of the regular semen, a large demon of lust exited his d---.

ernie sesame street demon

Puppets and Politics

Sam Eagle (GOP) gets rid of Bernie Sanders before the election because he wants to make America great again.

Sam Eagle (GOP) gets rid of Bernie Sanders before the election because he wants to make America great again.

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The Foundation (OC)

Dr. Ernie found out that maybe throwing a rock on SCP-682's head was not really the best idea of termination. Dr. Ernie decided to [REDACTED1 instead.

Dr. Ernie found out that maybe throwing a rock on SCP-682's head was not really the best idea of termination. Dr. Ernie decided to [REDACTED1 instead.

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Faerie King and Hard Drugs

Elmo invades the sacred realm of the Faerie King in order to s--- in his flower bed... or so he thinks. Elmo wakes up hours later in a Motel 6, next to an obese h----- in a floral print muumuu stained with s---. Elmo was into some hard drugs.

Elmo invades the sacred realm of the Faerie King in order to s--- in his flower bed... or so he thinks. Elmo wakes up hours later in a Motel 6, next to an obese h----- in a floral print muumuu stained with s---. Elmo was into some hard drugs.

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And this is why I don't use Tinder

"Big Bird! I'm Evelyn! Wow, you look just like your Tinder photo!" "...so do you, unfortunately!"

"Big Bird! I'm Evelyn! Wow, you look just like your Tinder photo!" "...so do you, unfortunately!"

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As Jontron would say: "Byoutiful"

eli Carrie Underwood has been turned into a singing butt plug

eli Carrie Underwood has been turned into a singing butt plug

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Just ride it out

elcome to the worl dof Tune in to Ernie isn't sure where this high is taking him, or how Grover became the supreme dictator of Afghanistan, but he's ready to ride it out.

elcome to the worl dof Tune in to Ernie isn't sure where this high is taking him, or how Grover became the supreme dictator of Afghanistan, but he's ready to ride it out.

bertstrips ernie grover

N***er Warning

Elmo pavs a aroup of hackers to hack into tumblr's servers and change every "tr" to an "n".

Elmo pavs a aroup of hackers to hack into tumblr's servers and change every "tr" to an "n".

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At least he still has his trash...

Count von Count has a blast counting Oscar's friends

Count von Count has a blast counting Oscar's friends

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Be a hero and get me one eighth of an Advil

Yolanda had finally recovered from her alcohol-induced rampage the

Yolanda had finally recovered from her alcohol-induced rampage the

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You See...

After drinking the apple juice Mr. Cosby gave him, Elmo sure was feeling funny

After drinking the apple juice Mr. Cosby gave him, Elmo sure was feeling funny

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Cousin Pepe

"I use work for Mister Trump. He pay me grow peyote for him. One time he offer me money to have sex with his wife. He watch from corner and choke himself with a bed sheet. Every night he'd have his driver drop me off at Home Depot. I always drove to work every day for him in my own car...he thought that's where I lived."

"I use work for Mister Trump. He pay me grow peyote for him. One time he offer me money to have sex with his wife. He watch from corner and choke himself with a bed sheet. Every night he'd have his driver drop me off at Home Depot. I always drove to work every day for him in my own car...he thought that's where I lived."

Muppet Meth Lab

After burning down his third mobile home, Beaker realized that making meth would be more complicated than he thought.

After burning down his third mobile home, Beaker realized that making meth would be more complicated than he thought.

beaker meth lab

No Elmo! No!

SESAME STREET org With the help of ISIS, Elmo prepares to trycycle bomb the new world trade center.

SESAME STREET org With the help of ISIS, Elmo prepares to trycycle bomb the new world trade center.

Expecting Jojo comments

"Oh no, not agan. That was Mr. Johnson's last thought before Grover crushed his new family with a steamroller, laughing maniacally as Mr. Johnson escaped in the last traction of a second, covered in fresh warm purrée.

"Oh no, not agan. That was Mr. Johnson's last thought before Grover crushed his new family with a steamroller, laughing maniacally as Mr. Johnson escaped in the last traction of a second, covered in fresh warm purrée.

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Me Keep Moving Forward...

"So, how long have you been driving an Uber? "Me drive Uber long time now. Me like freedom it give me." "That's cool, yeah... Say, do you happen to know where-." "Sorry, but me stop you there. You want girlies? You need dope to shoot in you scrotum? Then me drop you at East side of town and you can look for it by yourself. Me not going back to the darkness. Me just try to get by."

"So, how long have you been driving an Uber? "Me drive Uber long time now. Me like freedom it give me." "That's cool, yeah... Say, do you happen to know where-." "Sorry, but me stop you there. You want girlies? You need dope to shoot in you scrotum? Then me drop you at East side of town and you can look for it by yourself. Me not going back to the darkness. Me just try to get by."

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