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Down with the Pastry-Archy

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes Why do we have pop tarts but not mom tarts? Because of the pastry-archy!
Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes Why do we have pop tarts but not mom tarts? Because of the pastry-archy!

Dad Jokes
puns food poptarts

Aww

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I recently spotted an albino Dalmatian It was the least I could do for him.
Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I recently spotted an albino Dalmatian It was the least I could do for him.

Dad Jokes
puns dogs

Burn It

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Bernadette
Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Bernadette

Dad Jokes
puns

I Could Feel It

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I read a horror story in braille, I could feel something bad was about to happen, but I didn't see it coming at all.
Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I read a horror story in braille, I could feel something bad was about to happen, but I didn't see it coming at all.

Dad Jokes
puns

Witches

Pun Hub There's only one thing that scares me about Halloween. IG: @PunHubOnline Exactly. Which is? ●00
Pun Hub There's only one thing that scares me about Halloween. IG: @PunHubOnline Exactly. Which is? ●00

Dad Jokes
puns

White Knee

What most people see What colorblind people see
What most people see What colorblind people see

Dad Jokes
puns

Clean Now

I used to be addicted to soap... But I'm clean now. DadSaysJokes
I used to be addicted to soap... But I'm clean now. DadSaysJokes

Dad Jokes
puns

They're Bad Drivers

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

Dad Jokes
puns dinosaurs

Ouch

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I was telling my son I married a trophy wife And he said i was a participation award husband.
Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I was telling my son I married a trophy wife And he said i was a participation award husband.

Dad Jokes
puns

A Sound Investment

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife was livid when I told her I used all of our savings to buy stock in Bose. I told her to relax, it's a sound investment.
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife was livid when I told her I used all of our savings to buy stock in Bose. I told her to relax, it's a sound investment.

Dad Jokes
puns twitter

Suit Yourself

Can I help sir? CAM Fine. Suit yourself. Just leave me alone. @PunHubOnline
Can I help sir? CAM Fine. Suit yourself. Just leave me alone. @PunHubOnline

Dad Jokes
puns memes

Oop

Can you help get this stain out of my dress? 304 ** No, this time it's mayonnaise. exy www Come again? st @PunHubOnline
Can you help get this stain out of my dress? 304 ** No, this time it's mayonnaise. exy www Come again? st @PunHubOnline

Dad Jokes
puns memes

Sigh

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Two years ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf... I haven't heard from him since.
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Two years ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf... I haven't heard from him since.

Dad Jokes
puns

Thyme is Cumin

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife rearranged the labels on my spice rack.. Haven't confronted her yet but the thyme is cumin.
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife rearranged the labels on my spice rack.. Haven't confronted her yet but the thyme is cumin.

Dad Jokes
puns

Mining

I'm gonna make you mine. @PunHubOnline Oh my god, Yes.
I'm gonna make you mine. @PunHubOnline Oh my god, Yes.

Dad Jokes
puns memes

Oh Steve

Repeat after me... Is he serious? No, his name is Steve. After me. @Fro_Vo @PunHubOnline
Repeat after me... Is he serious? No, his name is Steve. After me. @Fro_Vo @PunHubOnline

Dad Jokes
puns

Call Me a Taxi

Text Message Yesterday 16:12 Can you call me a taxi at 7am tomorrow? Thanks dad Today 07:00 Ok You're a taxi
Text Message Yesterday 16:12 Can you call me a taxi at 7am tomorrow? Thanks dad Today 07:00 Ok You're a taxi

Dad Jokes
puns

It Comes in Waves

I have a terrible fear of tsunamis. How bad is it? It comes in waves. @DadSaysJokes
I have a terrible fear of tsunamis. How bad is it? It comes in waves. @DadSaysJokes

Dad Jokes
puns tsunami

Spring Rolls

Dad Jokes* @Dadsaysjokes Finally my winter fat has gone... Now, I have spring rolls.
Dad Jokes* @Dadsaysjokes Finally my winter fat has gone... Now, I have spring rolls.

Dad Jokes
puns spring winter twitter

Savage Dad Joke

joshmosh @diss_guy_ My dad told my sisters new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out when she dumped him. I'm still cracking up. 5:48 PM 8/4/19 Twitter for iPhone ● ●
joshmosh @diss_guy_ My dad told my sisters new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out when she dumped him. I'm still cracking up. 5:48 PM 8/4/19 Twitter for iPhone ● ●

Dad Jokes
puns twitter relationships