Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I was telling my son I married a trophy wife And he said i was a participation award husband.

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Kieran Healy @kjhealy@mastodon.social A late dinner-prepared on time but neglected in favor of a computer game-led my son to be victimized by the remark "Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it". Honestly I'm surprised he hasn't simply smothered me in my sleep by now. Mar 05, 2024, 04:35 - Ivory for iOS 8 - ★ 19

DocAtCDI @DocAtCDI@mastodon.social It's inappropriate to make a dad joke if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa. Jan 15, 2024, 06:32 - DocAtCDI 85-★ 167

Pun Hub There's only one thing that scares me about Halloween. IG: @PunHubOnline Exactly. Which is? ●00

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A Sound Investment

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife was livid when I told her I used all of our savings to buy stock in Bose. I told her to relax, it's a sound investment.

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Suit Yourself

Can I help sir? CAM Fine. Suit yourself. Just leave me alone. @PunHubOnline

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Oop

Can you help get this stain out of my dress? 304 ** No, this time it's mayonnaise. exy www Come again? st @PunHubOnline

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Sigh

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Two years ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf... I haven't heard from him since.

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Thyme is Cumin

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife rearranged the labels on my spice rack.. Haven't confronted her yet but the thyme is cumin.

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Mining

I'm gonna make you mine. @PunHubOnline Oh my god, Yes.

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Oh Steve

Repeat after me... Is he serious? No, his name is Steve. After me. @Fro_Vo @PunHubOnline

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Call Me a Taxi

Text Message Yesterday 16:12 Can you call me a taxi at 7am tomorrow? Thanks dad Today 07:00 Ok You're a taxi

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It Comes in Waves

I have a terrible fear of tsunamis. How bad is it? It comes in waves. @DadSaysJokes

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Spring Rolls

Dad Jokes* @Dadsaysjokes Finally my winter fat has gone... Now, I have spring rolls.

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Savage Dad Joke

joshmosh @diss_guy_ My dad told my sisters new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out when she dumped him. I'm still cracking up. 5:48 PM 8/4/19 Twitter for iPhone ● ●

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Wrong

Coffee. Coffee or tea? Wrong. It's tea

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Dad Jokes - Ouch

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Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I was telling my son I married a trophy wife And he said i was a participation award husband.

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Uploaded Nov 26, 2023 at 02:53PM EST

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