Greentext Stories - Images
Anon plays uno | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)18:47:08 No.144971906 UNO person-uno.png 103 KB PNG >"Nice play Mr. Bond, however you did not announce you were almost finished, so now you are two cards further from victory."](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/937/e06.jpg)
![: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)18:47:08 No.144971906 UNO person-uno.png 103 KB PNG >"Nice play Mr. Bond, however you did not announce you were almost finished, so now you are two cards further from victory."](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/937/e06.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon is inferior | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 02/12/19(Tue)09:49:34 No.792436734 >dad is easily 6'5 and has sporty built >mom is 5'11 but also has a sporty built >be me >their first born >they have my sister 16 months later >mom & dad think we're going to be 98 KB JPG great sports players >l ended up having asthma and only being 5'4 >sister became 6'3 and has the perfect sporty built >she plays volleyball, soccer, and softball >mom & dad love her >our living is filled with pictures of her and trophies >the only picture of me is the family photo >mom & dad rarely talk to me >sister is probably going to college for free because sports >mfw I don't even give a s--- about college I just want my parents to love me](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/920/2d8.jpg)
![: Anonymous 02/12/19(Tue)09:49:34 No.792436734 >dad is easily 6'5 and has sporty built >mom is 5'11 but also has a sporty built >be me >their first born >they have my sister 16 months later >mom & dad think we're going to be 98 KB JPG great sports players >l ended up having asthma and only being 5'4 >sister became 6'3 and has the perfect sporty built >she plays volleyball, soccer, and softball >mom & dad love her >our living is filled with pictures of her and trophies >the only picture of me is the family photo >mom & dad rarely talk to me >sister is probably going to college for free because sports >mfw I don't even give a s--- about college I just want my parents to love me](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/920/2d8.jpg)
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Anon gets advice | /r/Greentext
![](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/902/697.jpg)
![](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/902/697.jpg)
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Anon hates Canada | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)02:09:15 No.855655547 be a mass murderer >get arrested >get executed >wake up in someone else's body >think you got a second chance to right your wrongs >quickly discover that you're in 20 KB JPG Canada >hell now doesn't seem so bad >kill yourself >wake up in a different man's body >you're in Canada again >this is your final destination. you cannot escape. god has punished you by making you perpetually Canadian.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/901/dac.jpg)
![: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)02:09:15 No.855655547 be a mass murderer >get arrested >get executed >wake up in someone else's body >think you got a second chance to right your wrongs >quickly discover that you're in 20 KB JPG Canada >hell now doesn't seem so bad >kill yourself >wake up in a different man's body >you're in Canada again >this is your final destination. you cannot escape. god has punished you by making you perpetually Canadian.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/901/dac.jpg)
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Anon sees a dogfight | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone >oh s--- it's a bloody 33 KB PNG unssod >think Its dead, go to put it In garbage >notice Its stillI breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash It over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing Jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/900/ea7.jpg)
![Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone >oh s--- it's a bloody 33 KB PNG unssod >think Its dead, go to put it In garbage >notice Its stillI breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash It over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing Jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/900/ea7.jpg)
Greentext Stories
It was a pleasure doing business with you | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:21:58 No.3811102 1599872026748.jpg 102 KB JPG >>3810932 # >you give me a banana >I give you a 15 minute subscription to my "not biting your fingers" service Sounds like a peaceful exchange of goods and services to me. >>3811355 #](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/884/6da.jpg)
![: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:21:58 No.3811102 1599872026748.jpg 102 KB JPG >>3810932 # >you give me a banana >I give you a 15 minute subscription to my "not biting your fingers" service Sounds like a peaceful exchange of goods and services to me. >>3811355 #](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/884/6da.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon talks about his favourite garment | /r/Greentext
![](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/883/89b.jpg)
![](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/883/89b.jpg)
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Anon posts on reddit | /r/Greentext
![Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720631 >be me >instagram normie >think all memes come from reddit >sign up for reddit, just passed 1 year >find out memes come from 4chan >be me Is there a place beyond 4chan? 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720676 >>774720631 (OP) 9gag 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 33 minutos 774720703 >>774720676 and past that is ifunny](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/882/6cf.jpg)
![Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720631 >be me >instagram normie >think all memes come from reddit >sign up for reddit, just passed 1 year >find out memes come from 4chan >be me Is there a place beyond 4chan? 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720676 >>774720631 (OP) 9gag 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 33 minutos 774720703 >>774720676 and past that is ifunny](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/882/6cf.jpg)
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Anon likes rap battles | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous (ID: koqD0xc2 epic rap battle 05/30/21(Sun)06:51:18 No.12845458 >be me, 13 year old in 2012 >Big fan of Epic Rap Battles of History >Really really f------ enjoy Hitler vs Darth Vader >Love it so much that I used Hitler as 47 KB JPG my Facebook profile picture, didn't really care much about Star Wars >Mind you, they don't really teach Hitler from where I am so I initially thought he was some cool fictional character and I didn't go bother reading his Wikipedia page or something >Friend from another country I met from a graphics design forum asks how my day was or something >He has a Persona 3 profile picture so we talked about that, same interests after all >Conversation was mostly gamer s--- but he eventually asked me this: >"Hey anon, why do you have Hitler as your profile picture?" >13 year old eyes gleam >"Oh, I'm a really big fan of his work" That conversation ended really quickly. He made a status update saying that his day was absolutely ruined because of someone and I wondered why. Minutes later, he disappeared from my friends list or anywhere at all. Like, 3 years after, I was looking at my profile pictures and I see that F------ picture of Hitler. I deleted it and realized that dude probably blocked me. If you read this or something, I'm sorry LMAO](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/881/c6f.jpg)
![: Anonymous (ID: koqD0xc2 epic rap battle 05/30/21(Sun)06:51:18 No.12845458 >be me, 13 year old in 2012 >Big fan of Epic Rap Battles of History >Really really f------ enjoy Hitler vs Darth Vader >Love it so much that I used Hitler as 47 KB JPG my Facebook profile picture, didn't really care much about Star Wars >Mind you, they don't really teach Hitler from where I am so I initially thought he was some cool fictional character and I didn't go bother reading his Wikipedia page or something >Friend from another country I met from a graphics design forum asks how my day was or something >He has a Persona 3 profile picture so we talked about that, same interests after all >Conversation was mostly gamer s--- but he eventually asked me this: >"Hey anon, why do you have Hitler as your profile picture?" >13 year old eyes gleam >"Oh, I'm a really big fan of his work" That conversation ended really quickly. He made a status update saying that his day was absolutely ruined because of someone and I wondered why. Minutes later, he disappeared from my friends list or anywhere at all. Like, 3 years after, I was looking at my profile pictures and I see that F------ picture of Hitler. I deleted it and realized that dude probably blocked me. If you read this or something, I'm sorry LMAO](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/881/c6f.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon's first school day | /r/Greentext
![>Be me >First day of first grade >Dont really know anybody >See some girl that looks really 1.42 MB GIF cute >l start walking over >Random kid walks up >Says, yo thats my girlfriend >Girl in back starts laughing >So many emotions come forth >Decide the only logical thing to do is punch the f----- in jaw >Yell, "GET WRECKED F------ >Nurse runs up says, "What have you done?" >Turns out I broke the f------ jaw >Never allowed to teach at that school again.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/815/763.jpg)
![>Be me >First day of first grade >Dont really know anybody >See some girl that looks really 1.42 MB GIF cute >l start walking over >Random kid walks up >Says, yo thats my girlfriend >Girl in back starts laughing >So many emotions come forth >Decide the only logical thing to do is punch the f----- in jaw >Yell, "GET WRECKED F------ >Nurse runs up says, "What have you done?" >Turns out I broke the f------ jaw >Never allowed to teach at that school again.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/815/763.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon smells something good | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)18:16:03 No.63915484 >get into the elevator for my apartment >qt neighbor is in there coming up from the basement parking with a few grocery bags >say hello >suddenly notice a delicious smell 102 KB JPG >ask him what takeout he has because it smells so good >he looks confused for a second then bursts out laughing >says he just has eggs bread and milk in his bags >says he farted just after he got in the elevator](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/795/cf6.jpg)
![: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)18:16:03 No.63915484 >get into the elevator for my apartment >qt neighbor is in there coming up from the basement parking with a few grocery bags >say hello >suddenly notice a delicious smell 102 KB JPG >ask him what takeout he has because it smells so good >he looks confused for a second then bursts out laughing >says he just has eggs bread and milk in his bags >says he farted just after he got in the elevator](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/795/cf6.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon forgets he‘s in real life | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:26:09 No.63407494 >9/10 coworker says she needs to take a piss but the toilets are under maintenance >forget I'm not on the internet and almost say "why don't you piss in my mouth" It almost came out of my mouth. 303 KB JPG Luckily I could hold myself back.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/794/bfe.jpg)
![: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:26:09 No.63407494 >9/10 coworker says she needs to take a piss but the toilets are under maintenance >forget I'm not on the internet and almost say "why don't you piss in my mouth" It almost came out of my mouth. 303 KB JPG Luckily I could hold myself back.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/794/bfe.jpg)
Greentext Stories
And Taiwan is a country | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous (ID: XAO9SW72) 05/29/21(Sat)15:23:10 No.323709709 >just realised 'norway' and 'the netherlands' are two different countries 85 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: wBfdEuB+ ) 05/29/21 (Sat)15:24:39 No.323709792 every day someone realizes that austria and australia are not the same >>323714865 # >>323715991 # >>323722800 # >>323725160 # >>323726681 # >>323729695 # : Anonymous (ID: QudX55WZ ) [•1 05/29/21(Sat)18:28:44 No.323723272 >>323709709 (OP)_# >just realized the netherlands is danish, which has nothing to do with denmark 14 KB JPG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/771/cd6.jpg)
![: Anonymous (ID: XAO9SW72) 05/29/21(Sat)15:23:10 No.323709709 >just realised 'norway' and 'the netherlands' are two different countries 85 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: wBfdEuB+ ) 05/29/21 (Sat)15:24:39 No.323709792 every day someone realizes that austria and australia are not the same >>323714865 # >>323715991 # >>323722800 # >>323725160 # >>323726681 # >>323729695 # : Anonymous (ID: QudX55WZ ) [•1 05/29/21(Sat)18:28:44 No.323723272 >>323709709 (OP)_# >just realized the netherlands is danish, which has nothing to do with denmark 14 KB JPG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/771/cd6.jpg)
Greentext Stories
anon criticizes enderman | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 12/13/18(Thu)13:28:16 No.787288109 >don't like eye contact >pick up random things they find >make random noises Are endermen autistic? 86 KB JPG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/770/4ce.jpg)
![: Anonymous 12/13/18(Thu)13:28:16 No.787288109 >don't like eye contact >pick up random things they find >make random noises Are endermen autistic? 86 KB JPG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/770/4ce.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon cooks dinner for his family | /r/Greentext
![](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/738/ddf.jpg)
![](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/738/ddf.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon is fat | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" >mfw 1 Reply View Thread](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/112/708/a37.jpg)
![: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" >mfw 1 Reply View Thread](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/112/708/a37.jpg)
Greentext Stories