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>> Anonymous 01/23/25(Thu)22:52:06 No. 147234608 >>147234639 The Funniest part about Drawn together is that the Indian jokes are in complete good taste and the worst they go is that "these people are very nice and welcoming to a fault" https://youtu.be/Or-3CJz4pmk?si=FoCtCUr4x0qDA6ic [Embed] Its even funnier when nothingburger activists decided that was too offensive a stereotype leaving every one to throw that clean wholesome perception out the window and with that gone brought the barbaric s--- fetishist stereotype to the forefront of everyones attention. Like there's a joke with an Indian pizza guy and spanky takes a s--- on the pizza and he just is grossed out. Apu and Nigerian scammers literally carried the back of Indians for the 2000s. Anonymous 01/23/25(Thu)22:56:08 No.147234639 >>147234608 (OP) # Apu was to desis as Speedy Gonzales was to Latinos. Realistic, relatable, and not racist. Then a one-trick comedian no one has heard from before or since pulls the race card and tries to equate Apu to a minstrel show. F--- that guy and f--- the Simpsons.

WHITE MEN WARE BRORISTS Anonymous (ID: but4a/SE >work for fish and wildlife bureau >be Belongingness Coordinator 01/23/25(Thu)17:40:13 No.495205925 >travel to field offices to give lectures on how to spot and address microaggressions >just out of school so I only make 80k >and it sucks having to fly all over the country >but it's worth it knowing I'm making the workplace safer for minorities >ffwd to jan 20 >Trump f------ fires me for no f------ reason >wake up ppl its literally Germany 1933

Anonymous (ID: rcEmtL+i) Fun Fact 01/23/25(Thu)10:43:26 No.495162041 1.84 MB PNG Peter griffin has punched 2 fascists. sage (ID: Mnplspsu) >Fact Fun fact: Peter Griffin is not real. Anonymous (ID: FOPfkp2b) 01/23/25(Thu)10:43:29 No.495162220 01/23/25(Thu)10:45:30 No.495162046

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1765434598764.jpg, 64KB, 711x718 Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2020 13:27:24 No.59011713 View Report happened last year, but i'll greentext it >be me, work at a big tech company >leftist ultra-woke usual corporate nonsense etc >i'm 6'2 and lifting for 2.5 years, working up to 2/3/4/5 >wear polo shirts to work bc comfy and collared/professional, downside is everyone can see my physique >i outright refuse to talk about weightlifting/fitness to my coworkers to avoid becoming a stereotype >always change the subject, or say "yeah I used to lift in the past but not anymore" >but i'm obviously very muscular, especially by normie standards >normie standards are so f-----, they think i'm mr olympia while to me i'm a work in progress >i can always feel the unspoken resentment from other ppl tho >thotty summer interns and vendor sales hoes always approach me, plenty of mires >some fat girl on a team adjacent to mine always making weird fitness jokes at my expense >not a landwhale (yet) but extremely overweight, massive feminist, white BLM activist >approaching the wall at warp speed and secretly knows it (they all do) >theres a disagreement on how to use engineering resources >"hey, i'll bet anon over there probably wants to settle the debate by arm wrestling lol" >constant weird annoying comments like that >one day i get to a meeting 5 minutes late bc i had to walk across two buildings to get there >"well well nice of you to join us there protein shake" >enough >"well I'm here now, sorry I'm late McFlurry" > room with a dozen people in it falls silent >everyone staring at me like i just murdered a child or something >literally 15 seconds of silence >fatty is in shock, doesn't say anything for the entire meeting >next day >manager requests a 10am meeting >walk into the room, its him and 2 HR people >assigned 4 weeks of sensitivity training >online courses on diversity in the workplace >mfw around fats never relax

9 Anonymous Sat 02 May 2020 23:09:33 No.24864120 Quoted By: >>24864171 >>24836558 I've had repeated contact with an "alien" visitor or entity since I was a kid. I don't know any other way to explain what I've seen, or what I remember seeing. >be me, little kid >get a drink of water >see bob the builder digging around in my garden through the window >because im just a kid this doesn't phase me somehow, I pop outside to say hi >ask him what he's building >he smiles and says he's making a sandbox for me to play in >next day my dad says he's going to start building a sandbox in the backyard for me and my brothers to play in >thankyoubob.jpg >grow up a bit, don't see bob for many years >one day adults are very worried and all in the TV room talking, I think it was when 9/11 happened >go outside because bored/scared >It's f------ Zoboomafoo from the Kratt brothers swinging on my swingset >But I can tell it's based Bob >sit on the swing next to him, ask where he's been >he points up to the moon and give me a cheeky lemur puppet smile >ask why he's here now >said he wanted to check up on me because some stuff happened >thank him for the sandbox >he laughs and swings away into our tree like a retard until I can't see him anymore >>24864120 >Long time, many years pass with no visits from based bob >begin to think it was all a dream/my imagination >parents think it's a cute story when I tell them >Finally learning to ride a bike >I'm slow at learning things and I really should have learned years ago and I'm still bad at it >Dad always telling me to check both ways before I cross a street, keep forgetting >crossing street back to my house, hear a noise out of nowhere and all of a sudden I'm on the ground >Based bob is wearing an Iron Man suit (The silver one) and has gently lowered me to the ground >my bike is completely mauled to shreds under the car >thankyoubasedbob.jpg >>24864171 Okay, time for a little bit of sad s---. I was trying to keep it light but there's some not so fun stuff in here. My parents abused me and all my siblings when we were growing up. They were pretty religious and crazy about a lot of things, it changed in what aspects over time but they definitely followed the whole "spare the rod spoil the child" mentality. I somehow ended up being the black sheep of the family because I'm kinda slow and stupid and stubborn and I daydream too much. So I got beat way, way more than any of the other kids. Anyway, back to the story. >Dad finds out about accident and destroyed bike >asks if I looked both ways >lied and say I did >he knows I didn't >not sure if he's mad about me being in danger or the bike being f-----, but he's P----- >getting the ass beating of my life >hurts so f------ much and is going on forever, I'm just screaming at this point >Begin to scream and beg for jesus to help me >All of a sudden my dad stops hitting me >cry into the bed for a few minutes before looking back >My dad is frozen in place looking terrified as f--- >It's based bob, hovering in front of him, looking like his OG builder self again >The spoon my dad was using to beat me literally disintegrates into a million pieces >dad's eyes are bulging as his wrist begins to bend backwards >Snapcracklepop.jpg >Bob looks at me >Says he's sorry for not doing something sooner >can almost see tears in his eyes >he floats through the ceiling and f---- off >dad never beats me again If you're watching out there based bob, thanks for the help. come back and visit sometime.

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About

Green text Stories are anecdotes written in short, concise sentences that are often shared on the image board 4chan using the site's "green-text" code. Green text stories differ from ">Implying" green text comments, which are used to mock another user’s statement or challenge the validity of their argument.

Origin

Due to 4chan’s lack of a built-in archival system, the original green text story is unknown. Previously archived threads on the now-defunct Chanarchive indicated that green text threads began appearing in early 2010, the earliest of which contained several stories sharing various awkward moments in the /r9k/^[2] (robot9001) board posted on March 3rd, 2010.

thread File :1267653199751 ipg-(49 KB, 374x357, you-gonna-get-r----.jpg) Anonymous 03/03/10(Wed) 16:53: 1 No.7743764 The awkwardest thing that ITT happened today, presented by greentext. Gaze aimlessly on train Prealize you're looking at a hard-gay black man >look away look at him again >he nods arrive at your stop, which is coincidentally his stop miss your stop

Spread

On November 23rd, 2010, FunnyJunk^[7] user DietWater submitted a screenshot of a green text story thread containing disturbing childhood memories (shown below).

□ childhood greentext stories Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:40:30 No.288495 >11 years old >twin brother dies >parents don't let me go to his funeral or tell me where it is stells me it would be inappropriate to be there as it could confuse people □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:41:15 No.2884950X 0 10/10 Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:46:00 No.288496xXx my mom died once □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:47:16 No.288497XXX File1290217636 jpg-(74 KB, 720x540) >go to ymca Sfamily showers >see naked 4 year old grow up to be a p--------

On August 21st, 2011, Redditor Glonn submitted a green text story about an intimate encounter with a disabled girl at summer camp to the /r/4chan subreddit,^[6] garnering upwards of 1,000 up votes and 30 comments prior to being archived (shown below).

Two days later, the /r/greentext^[4]subreddit was launched, which accumulated more than 5,300 subscribers in the next three years. On September 12th, 2012, Redditor bacon_pants submitted a green text story about a man wearing a musketeer costume to the /r/4chan^[5] subreddit, which received over 9,200 up votes and 110 comments prior to being archived (shown below).

On February 20th, 2013, a Facebook^[3] page titled "Green Text Stories" was launched, gaining upwards of 2,200 likes in one year. On April 9th, BuzzFeed^[9] published a list titled "The Greatest Things That Have Ever Happened on 4chan," which highlighted several notable green text stories. On April 16th, Redditor Archduke Caligula submitted a Shrek-themed green text story to the /r/FiftyFifty^[8] subreddit, accumulating more than 2,300 up votes and 110 comments prior to being archived (shown below).

Notable Examples

Spaghetti Stories

Spaghetti Stories are a type of bait-and-switch copypasta posted on 4chan to "troll" others under the pretext of recounting a socially awkward or humiliating situation in greentext. While the plot may vary from one to another, each story ends when spaghetti suddenly falls out of one’s pocket or fanny pack.

Anonymous 12/16/10(Thu)23:01 No.81472309 File :1292558479581png-(133 KB, 354x363, 1226621833105gil.png.ban.png) >> >in english 9 class >get called on to read out loud >stutter through the whole thing >classmates are audibly giggling >stand up to run out of the room in shame >peanut butter spaghetti falls out of my pocket >class bursts into laughter man run to front of classroom open the door >get on the floor >everybody walk the dinosaur >get in trouble for walking dinosaur in school detention >get home from detention >father says I am a disgrace to my family run to room crying mom comes in > "Sergio, I made your favorite cookies" >she wants to f---

Fucking Gamestop

Fucking Gamestop is a type of greentext story posted on 4chan containing fake experiences with the American video game and entertainment software retailer Gamestop, ending with the expression “Fucking Gamestop."

Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)11:24:11 No.647210 >penis inspection day >fourth grade nurse won't stop fondling me tells me that she's "always wanted to do it with a bear" 기 look down >im a bear nurse is fondling my bear penis >suddenly nurse is also a bear we have bear sex noises cause everyone in the hall to burst into treats principal comes in, breaks us apart with the force of the spaghetti coming out of his pockets >i grab my cape and fedora and gtfo, careful to not slip in the principal's marinara sauce F------ Gamestop.

Burst Into Treats

Burst Into Treats is a bait-and-switch copypasta commonly used on 4chan imageboards to conclude a seemingly believable greentext story about a personal experience involving embarrassing or emotionally moving moments, with a person exploding into "treats" at the end of each story.

Anonymous 07/20/10(Tue)04:08:1 No.10187641 >Halloween >Got no candy because so many pedos >My mom bursts into treats >just for me thanks mom >Best candy ever

Mom's Spaghetti

Mom's Spaghetti is a bait-and-switch copypasta derived from the lyrics of Eminem’s 2002 hit rap single “Lose Yourself.” Originating from the 4chan imageboard community, it is a notable example of spaghetti stories that usually start out as a personal anecdote about an embarrassing or socially awkward episode before ending abruptly with a sudden appearance of spaghetti.

Anonymous 04/19/12(Thu)18:36 No.12169872 File: 1334874960 jpg-(6 KB, 154x132, 1328423311634.jpg) >be in school hot girl in front of me >she drops her pencil >she bends down to pick it up >she's not wearing panties turns around and looks at me like what you see?" whole class goes "000000oooh palms are sweaty >knees weak, arms are heavy it's falling out of my pockets already >mom's spaghetti

It Was My Privilege

"It Was My Privilege" is a sarcastic expression used as the punchline in greentext stories wherein gentlemanly courtesy is misunderstood as male patronage, thus mocking the feminist concept of the male-dominated social system known as the “patriarchy."

目File: 1357728781 (5 KB, 198x254, connery jpg) GI 器 _ Anonymous (ID: ⑩70Nzki) 01/09/13(Wed)05:53 01 UTC-5 No 449711286 Reply] Replies: 2244971 1463 >:449711642 >Go on a date with girl >Take her to nice restaurant >She orders a shrimp cocktail and several drinks >Ask for the check >The waiter places the check in front of me, not in front of her, not in the middle of the table >Look of horror comes across the girl's face reach for the check and place my credit card inside >She begins to tremble >Tears well up in her eyes >l can tell she is paralyzed by fear at the oppression she is experiencing >l chauvinistically place the check with the my credit card on the table in front of me, daring her to do something about it The power of my oppression of this woman surges through my body as I lean back in my seat and stare directly at her >She is shaking with fright, the oppression strangling her voice away >The waiter returns to take the check away >All is lost to her now >Men at other tables begin to stand up and clap >Women all over the restaurant begin to shriek and cry >l feel my erect penis lift the tablecloth in front of me >l ask my date, "Did you enjoy your dinner?" >Y-yes... thank you", she says behind a mask of tears I lean forward, a devious, patriarchical smile spreading across my face >And I tell her, "It was my privilege."

AI-Generated Greentexts

AI-Generated Greentexts are greentext stories that are generated by the GPT-3 language model or other AI software rather than written by humans. First popularized by Tumblr's frogpostbot, using bots to create greentexts became a viral trend in June 2022, with users employing OpenAI's GPT-3 language model to generate greentexts.

write me a 4chan greentext >wake up >my hair is dry >fuckno.png >take a shower >get out >hair is still dry >w--.png >put on a hat >go outside >see a guy with a dry head >he's bald >bald.png >realize I'm bald >bald.png >cry myself to sleep

write me a 4chan greentext >watching tv, some dude has a machine >that can teleport people >says he wants to go to the moon >asks if anyone wants to go with him >i say "sure, why not" >we step into the machine >next thing i know, we're on the moon >dude says "see, it's not so bad here" >i look around and see that the moon is a barren wasteland >dude teleports back to earth, leaving me stranded on the moon

write me a 4chan greentext >be me >bottomless pit supervisor >in charge of making sure the bottomless pit is, in fact, bottomless >occasionally have to go down there and check if the bottomless pit is still bottomless >one day i go down there and the bottomless pit is no longer bottomless >the bottom of the bottomless pit is now just a regular pit >distress.jpg >ask my boss what to do >he says "just make it bottomless again" >i say "how" >he says "i don't know, you're the supervisor" >rage.jpg >quit my job >become a regular pit supervisor >first day on the job, go to the new hole >its bottomless

Search Interest

External References

^[1] Oh Internet (via Wayback Machine) – Greentext Article

^[2] Wayback Machine – Awkward Thing That’s Happened Today Presented By Greentext

^[3] Facebook – Green Text Stories

^[4] Reddit – /r/greentext

^[5] Reddit – Musketeer greentext

^[6] Reddit – Greentext stories

^[7] FunnyJunk – 2 Hilarious 4chan posts in one

^[8] Reddit – Shrek Greentext

^[9] BuzzFeed – The Greatest Things That Have Ever Happened on 4chan

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Greentext Stories

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