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Anon watches Frieren | /r/Greentext

File: 1717815897768.png (143 KB, 320x360) Anonymous 07/11/24(Thu)10:20:20 No.268705995 >>268707122 >>268707544 >>268706454 >>268706890 >The hero Himmel ate my ass for two hours straight and wanted to f--- my elf vagina >I wonder what he meant by that
File: 1717815897768.png (143 KB, 320x360) Anonymous 07/11/24(Thu)10:20:20 No.268705995 >>268707122 >>268707544 >>268706454 >>268706890 >The hero Himmel ate my ass for two hours straight and wanted to f--- my elf vagina >I wonder what he meant by that

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Reincarnation bros... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 79 KB JPG Ngubu 05/02/24(Thu)09:14:17 No.196741713 >there is a 25% chance to be born a Pajeet >there is a 21% chance to be born a Chang >there is a 13% change to be born a SEAmonkey >there is a 8% chance to be born a Latrino >there is a 27% chance to be born a I do not wish reincarnation in this century even upon my worst enemy
: Anonymous 79 KB JPG Ngubu 05/02/24(Thu)09:14:17 No.196741713 >there is a 25% chance to be born a Pajeet >there is a 21% chance to be born a Chang >there is a 13% change to be born a SEAmonkey >there is a 8% chance to be born a Latrino >there is a 27% chance to be born a I do not wish reincarnation in this century even upon my worst enemy

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Anon wants his childhood back | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/10/24(Wed)17:34:33 No.3548969 If I could get my childhood back I f------ would. >>3548981 The mind here is so soft and malleable, instead of growing and nuturing it, people would rather beat it and ruin it instead. Because of what? Because the b------- questioned disturbs the over-inflated ego of adults? Because that child requires time and money, which is better spent on television and crack? There is no such thing as ignorance. Everyone lives and experiences the same reality, yet sooner than admitting a flaw, they'd rather lash out and attack whatever is least likely to retailate. Then they will preach forgiveness, but be quickest to remind of years old slights. Childhood is the weakest and frailest point of anyone's life, and when you're at the mercy of everyone else's whims. Anonymous 07/10/24(Wed)17:54:00 No.3548981 File: 1623189006304.png (119 KB, 630x212) Carnacki the Ghost-Finder", "Wow, that's quite amazing. Here, let me give you this. You sound somewhat delirious. Item GET! Sedative x 1 Treats Madness. >>3548969 I don't necessarily disagree, but you're still getting pic related.
Anonymous 07/10/24(Wed)17:34:33 No.3548969 If I could get my childhood back I f------ would. >>3548981 The mind here is so soft and malleable, instead of growing and nuturing it, people would rather beat it and ruin it instead. Because of what? Because the b------- questioned disturbs the over-inflated ego of adults? Because that child requires time and money, which is better spent on television and crack? There is no such thing as ignorance. Everyone lives and experiences the same reality, yet sooner than admitting a flaw, they'd rather lash out and attack whatever is least likely to retailate. Then they will preach forgiveness, but be quickest to remind of years old slights. Childhood is the weakest and frailest point of anyone's life, and when you're at the mercy of everyone else's whims. Anonymous 07/10/24(Wed)17:54:00 No.3548981 File: 1623189006304.png (119 KB, 630x212) Carnacki the Ghost-Finder", "Wow, that's quite amazing. Here, let me give you this. You sound somewhat delirious. Item GET! Sedative x 1 Treats Madness. >>3548969 I don't necessarily disagree, but you're still getting pic related.

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Feeling of Disapproval | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 912 KB PNG >Be me >British-Italian 07/11/24(Thu)17:04:55 No.199635189 >On holiday in the states to visit friends and family for the first time >Religion topic comes up >American asks me if I'm Jewish >"uhhh, no. Why?" >I was literally eating a ham sandwich >"Oh, you look Jewish" I have never been so insulted in my entire life.
Anonymous 912 KB PNG >Be me >British-Italian 07/11/24(Thu)17:04:55 No.199635189 >On holiday in the states to visit friends and family for the first time >Religion topic comes up >American asks me if I'm Jewish >"uhhh, no. Why?" >I was literally eating a ham sandwich >"Oh, you look Jewish" I have never been so insulted in my entire life.

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Great working day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 53 KB JPG >be me 10/09/17 (Mon) 18:52:14 No.747624916 >work at McDonalds >overworked >underpaid >big day today >not sure what's happening but the manager says we have a new sauce. >No big deal, we do specials all the time >manager looks worried >imchillman.jpeg >look up at menu, see some cartoon on there, must be something for the kids >It's 6:58am, we open at 7:00am >there is a queue outside >MFW it's not children >A horde of sweaty mid 20 year olds stand outside waiting to get in, laughing manically. >all wearing clothing of the cartoon. >ohfuck.exe >the doors burst open and I'm greeted by the first customer. >he weighs over 300lbs and is wearing a fedora, with a neck beard only fit for a kissless virgin. >"hyngeh I'll have schum cheeken mcnuggz an heh-heh- scheziuan zauuce!!" >the ogre looks back to the crowd >"WUBALUBADUB-DUB!" >The entire crowd of chubby shrek rejects respond >"WUBALUBADUB-DUB!"
Anonymous 53 KB JPG >be me 10/09/17 (Mon) 18:52:14 No.747624916 >work at McDonalds >overworked >underpaid >big day today >not sure what's happening but the manager says we have a new sauce. >No big deal, we do specials all the time >manager looks worried >imchillman.jpeg >look up at menu, see some cartoon on there, must be something for the kids >It's 6:58am, we open at 7:00am >there is a queue outside >MFW it's not children >A horde of sweaty mid 20 year olds stand outside waiting to get in, laughing manically. >all wearing clothing of the cartoon. >ohfuck.exe >the doors burst open and I'm greeted by the first customer. >he weighs over 300lbs and is wearing a fedora, with a neck beard only fit for a kissless virgin. >"hyngeh I'll have schum cheeken mcnuggz an heh-heh- scheziuan zauuce!!" >the ogre looks back to the crowd >"WUBALUBADUB-DUB!" >The entire crowd of chubby shrek rejects respond >"WUBALUBADUB-DUB!"

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Gnome go home | /r/Greentext

>be me >using my pc >feel the need to pee >go pee >theseus gnomes sprint into my room at lightspeed and replace every part of my pc, keyboard, monitor with identical parts >come back >it's not my pc anymore i cant prove it but i know theyre f------ doing it. how do i stop them? what do you guys do?
>be me >using my pc >feel the need to pee >go pee >theseus gnomes sprint into my room at lightspeed and replace every part of my pc, keyboard, monitor with identical parts >come back >it's not my pc anymore i cant prove it but i know theyre f------ doing it. how do i stop them? what do you guys do?

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Anon discovers a new weird flavor. | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2024-07-08 235506.png (176 KB, 371x340) ITT: Weird flavors you found by accident Anonymous 07/09/24(Tue)02:00:53 No.20658305 >>20658315 >>20658395 >>20659583 >>20660111 >>20662014 >>20664573 >>20664704 >>20664742 Bonus if its something you made by accident For me its Lemon banana. >Be me >18 >Chopping bananas on a cutting board with the intent to make Peanut butter Banana sandwiches >Eat the end piece of the banana, as is tradition >It taste different. >Pupils dilate >Heart races >Fireworks in my brain >Investigate and learn my mom had used the cutting board a little while before me to slice lemons, and never bothered to wash it off. Residual lemon juice has merged with my banana slices Also >French fries dipped in milkshake
File: Screenshot 2024-07-08 235506.png (176 KB, 371x340) ITT: Weird flavors you found by accident Anonymous 07/09/24(Tue)02:00:53 No.20658305 >>20658315 >>20658395 >>20659583 >>20660111 >>20662014 >>20664573 >>20664704 >>20664742 Bonus if its something you made by accident For me its Lemon banana. >Be me >18 >Chopping bananas on a cutting board with the intent to make Peanut butter Banana sandwiches >Eat the end piece of the banana, as is tradition >It taste different. >Pupils dilate >Heart races >Fireworks in my brain >Investigate and learn my mom had used the cutting board a little while before me to slice lemons, and never bothered to wash it off. Residual lemon juice has merged with my banana slices Also >French fries dipped in milkshake

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Licence to Confuse | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: qOy2U1WD ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/11/24(Thu)07:18:04 No.473732388 TURIST GO HOME REFUGEES WELCOME 380 KB JPG >Tourists go home, refugees welcome. What did they mean by this?
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: qOy2U1WD ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/11/24(Thu)07:18:04 No.473732388 TURIST GO HOME REFUGEES WELCOME 380 KB JPG >Tourists go home, refugees welcome. What did they mean by this?

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Smooth Criminal | /r/Greentext

Anonymous A 33 KB PNG >Go on reddit 07/11/24(Thu)16:06:32 No.78121342 >there is a sub called r/teenagers >See a picture of a 10/10 qt3.14 >Click on profile >Aged under 18 >leave Nice try FBI
Anonymous A 33 KB PNG >Go on reddit 07/11/24(Thu)16:06:32 No.78121342 >there is a sub called r/teenagers >See a picture of a 10/10 qt3.14 >Click on profile >Aged under 18 >leave Nice try FBI

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If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living? | /r/Greentext

Board /tv/ - Television & Film Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/11/24(Thu)15:19:01 No.201192570 I got my first job when I was 9. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country. 1.55 MB GIF >>201192444 >anti-vegan >pro-gun >anti-government >anti-taxation >christian >against child labour laws >hates technology >libertarian >conservative why does reddit love him so much
Board /tv/ - Television & Film Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/11/24(Thu)15:19:01 No.201192570 I got my first job when I was 9. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country. 1.55 MB GIF >>201192444 >anti-vegan >pro-gun >anti-government >anti-taxation >christian >against child labour laws >hates technology >libertarian >conservative why does reddit love him so much

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Brazilanon Came Prepared | /r/Greentext

Board /int/ - International Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/11/24(Thu)12:58:18 No.199625228 >population:1 bi >videogames made:0 Why? 9 KB GIF Anonymous What games has Brazil made? Anonymous >>199625269 07/11/24(Thu)12:59:18 No.199625269 07/11/24(Thu)13:00:53 No.199625342 https://store.steampowered.com/curator/7182586-Jogos-Brasileiros/
Board /int/ - International Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/11/24(Thu)12:58:18 No.199625228 >population:1 bi >videogames made:0 Why? 9 KB GIF Anonymous What games has Brazil made? Anonymous >>199625269 07/11/24(Thu)12:59:18 No.199625269 07/11/24(Thu)13:00:53 No.199625342 https://store.steampowered.com/curator/7182586-Jogos-Brasileiros/

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Miserable rich | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Malcom 07/11/24(Thu)20:34:02 No.201191188 >two parent household th-3589716604.jpg 35 KB JPG >even tho their not rich they live in a big house with plenty of food,television, videogames and recreation >a family that actually loves him >Genius IQ >guaranteed to be sucessful at anything he tries to do Yet all he does is bitch and whine 24/7 What the F--- is his problem? Their not even that poor and his life isnt even that bad
Anonymous Malcom 07/11/24(Thu)20:34:02 No.201191188 >two parent household th-3589716604.jpg 35 KB JPG >even tho their not rich they live in a big house with plenty of food,television, videogames and recreation >a family that actually loves him >Genius IQ >guaranteed to be sucessful at anything he tries to do Yet all he does is bitch and whine 24/7 What the F--- is his problem? Their not even that poor and his life isnt even that bad

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Mismanaged Carnival of Stupidity | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 The Alec Baldwin situation is crazy The Alec Baldwin situation is (...) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/11/24(Thu)19:53:28 No.78120695 Tell me more about how I'm a lousy actor image_2024-07-11_195309559.png 428 KB PNG >Be Alec Baldwin >Doing acting >Given a supposed prop pistol by prop team >Prop team is obviously responsible for any problems >Pretend to shoot blanks at bad guys for movie >One of the blanks is a real bullet >Kills a camera woman >FFW a few years >In court for negligence. This makes no f------ sense.
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 The Alec Baldwin situation is crazy The Alec Baldwin situation is (...) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/11/24(Thu)19:53:28 No.78120695 Tell me more about how I'm a lousy actor image_2024-07-11_195309559.png 428 KB PNG >Be Alec Baldwin >Doing acting >Given a supposed prop pistol by prop team >Prop team is obviously responsible for any problems >Pretend to shoot blanks at bad guys for movie >One of the blanks is a real bullet >Kills a camera woman >FFW a few years >In court for negligence. This makes no f------ sense.

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Anon makes an honest mistake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 153 KB PNG 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw
: Anonymous 153 KB PNG 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw

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Originality goes a long way | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/05/24(Fri)10:34:10 No.200917848 71FsVbDFhsL.jpg 237 KB JPG >first cinematic vampire >still the greatest how did he do it?
Anonymous 07/05/24(Fri)10:34:10 No.200917848 71FsVbDFhsL.jpg 237 KB JPG >first cinematic vampire >still the greatest how did he do it?

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Anon is schizophrenic | /r/Greentext

13 KB JPG >Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.
13 KB JPG >Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.

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Anon the bicycle king | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: zVefqpcU *honk* *honk* *honk* *honk* *honk* *honk* *honk* *honk* 07/10/24(Wed)17:04:21 No.473681070 >>473680477 (OP) # >be me >bicyclefag >Burn calories instead of $4.609 per gallon of 92 gas >Save hundreds on fuel expenses >Skip the bumper to bumper traffic of tards not knowing how to drive >Seeing the seething meltdown reactions of drivers inside their plastic shitboxes they spent $60,000 on and still have car payments >Priceless >Come back home after a nice workout >Feel happy about being physically abled >>473681227 # >>473681981 # >>473682488 # >>473682819 # >>473684241 # >>473685459 # >>473685532 # >>473689623 # >>473691308 # >>473692522 # >>473696712 # >>473697010 # >>473701219 # >>473703984 # >>473706646 # >>473707139 # >>473707364 # >>473708394 #
Anonymous (ID: zVefqpcU *honk* *honk* *honk* *honk* *honk* *honk* *honk* *honk* 07/10/24(Wed)17:04:21 No.473681070 >>473680477 (OP) # >be me >bicyclefag >Burn calories instead of $4.609 per gallon of 92 gas >Save hundreds on fuel expenses >Skip the bumper to bumper traffic of tards not knowing how to drive >Seeing the seething meltdown reactions of drivers inside their plastic shitboxes they spent $60,000 on and still have car payments >Priceless >Come back home after a nice workout >Feel happy about being physically abled >>473681227 # >>473681981 # >>473682488 # >>473682819 # >>473684241 # >>473685459 # >>473685532 # >>473689623 # >>473691308 # >>473692522 # >>473696712 # >>473697010 # >>473701219 # >>473703984 # >>473706646 # >>473707139 # >>473707364 # >>473708394 #

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We can do better. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous none of you are funny.jpg 21 KB JPG 07/11/24(Thu)09:48:07 No.20034567 >be me >go on r/greentexts to read some media >its literally just people posting the same cat with a tinfoil hat over and over >its funny the first couple times but its on every single post >quickly gets stale and cringe as f--- I'm convinced that everyone that posts the cat are the same people who say your joke but worse. You are the bottom of the barrel in comedy. You are not funny. It's an overplayed and cringe joke. Move on. Go ahead. Post the cat. Or put after my post. But at least make your own f------ joke afterwards you loser.
Anonymous none of you are funny.jpg 21 KB JPG 07/11/24(Thu)09:48:07 No.20034567 >be me >go on r/greentexts to read some media >its literally just people posting the same cat with a tinfoil hat over and over >its funny the first couple times but its on every single post >quickly gets stale and cringe as f--- I'm convinced that everyone that posts the cat are the same people who say your joke but worse. You are the bottom of the barrel in comedy. You are not funny. It's an overplayed and cringe joke. Move on. Go ahead. Post the cat. Or put after my post. But at least make your own f------ joke afterwards you loser.

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Life saver | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/24(Sun)21:02:16 No.78079552 1363738fd4bafc18aa6942dee6203583.png 669 KB PNG >You failed at life. Reload last save? What point in your life do you load from?
: Anonymous 07/07/24(Sun)21:02:16 No.78079552 1363738fd4bafc18aa6942dee6203583.png 669 KB PNG >You failed at life. Reload last save? What point in your life do you load from?

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You are worth it. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 21 KB JPG 07/10/24(Wed)09:25:19 No.36469763 >Shes so f------ snarky I swear it was something straight out of a movie scene. >Rural Maine by a lake >The sky is orange with the setting sun, but still out enough that it's hot and humid >We're both sitting on a dock dipping our feet in the water >I look over to her and she looks so perfect. Like one of those forest nymphs from nordic literature. >I stare a little too long, >"Like what you see?" she asks >I'm not just going to take that >I scoop her up into a princess carry and ask her if she's ready >She's in a mix of blush and panic, trying to scramble out of my grip >I hold onto her tight and take the plunge >She comes back up, hair disheveled, makeup slightly running, and sundress soaked >It didn't matter though, she looks adorable no matter what. >She actually gets kind of mad at me for ruining her outfit. >It's really cute when she gets mad. >Halfway through her angry speech I start laughing, and soon she laughs too. >She looks me in the eyes and says, "You're an idiot, Phil." >"You're beautiful, Diana." >We swim until the sun sets, and I walk her home, covering her in my towel to keep her safe from mosquitos >She gives me a kiss on the cheek as she slinks inside. I'm not trans, but my girlfriend is. I love her a lot and want to support her in any way possible. She told me that she browses this board a lot, so I've been reading the posts here to try and grasp a better understanding of what being transgender means. So far I've come to the realization that many of you women struggle with your self worth and self esteem. You hold yourselves beneath cis women, and I can't entirely fault you for that. You've spent your entire lives being told you're not good enough. I'm sorry you have to go through that. Nobody deserves to be dehumanized in such a way. Dating a girl who happens to be trans has opened my eyes to this reality you all face every day. When she first told me, I definitely did do the thing where I was like "Wait, she was a guy before? H--------.." But thinking further, I genuinely cannot think of her as anything other than a girl. Even the knowledge of her past self cannot trump that, because in my mind all she'll ever be is a girl. I also hear a lot of rhetoric that says trans women are not real women. F--- that. Sure, there are biological differences, but my girlfriend is the realest woman I've ever met. When I look at her, I don't think of her past. I see her as who she is now. Beautiful, snarky, intelligent, too funny for her own good. She understands my jokes. She gets all of my nerdy references, and the best part? She'll play Portal with me. I do have to keep up with her incessant need for Stardew Valley though. I don't really get that. All she does is fish all day like a maniac, does she know there's an entire map? Anyways, ladies, you are all worth it. You are deserving of love. There is someone out there who will see you for you, I promise. Please don't give up, because the more of you that give up, the less cute fish there will be in the ocean.
Anonymous 21 KB JPG 07/10/24(Wed)09:25:19 No.36469763 >Shes so f------ snarky I swear it was something straight out of a movie scene. >Rural Maine by a lake >The sky is orange with the setting sun, but still out enough that it's hot and humid >We're both sitting on a dock dipping our feet in the water >I look over to her and she looks so perfect. Like one of those forest nymphs from nordic literature. >I stare a little too long, >"Like what you see?" she asks >I'm not just going to take that >I scoop her up into a princess carry and ask her if she's ready >She's in a mix of blush and panic, trying to scramble out of my grip >I hold onto her tight and take the plunge >She comes back up, hair disheveled, makeup slightly running, and sundress soaked >It didn't matter though, she looks adorable no matter what. >She actually gets kind of mad at me for ruining her outfit. >It's really cute when she gets mad. >Halfway through her angry speech I start laughing, and soon she laughs too. >She looks me in the eyes and says, "You're an idiot, Phil." >"You're beautiful, Diana." >We swim until the sun sets, and I walk her home, covering her in my towel to keep her safe from mosquitos >She gives me a kiss on the cheek as she slinks inside. I'm not trans, but my girlfriend is. I love her a lot and want to support her in any way possible. She told me that she browses this board a lot, so I've been reading the posts here to try and grasp a better understanding of what being transgender means. So far I've come to the realization that many of you women struggle with your self worth and self esteem. You hold yourselves beneath cis women, and I can't entirely fault you for that. You've spent your entire lives being told you're not good enough. I'm sorry you have to go through that. Nobody deserves to be dehumanized in such a way. Dating a girl who happens to be trans has opened my eyes to this reality you all face every day. When she first told me, I definitely did do the thing where I was like "Wait, she was a guy before? H--------.." But thinking further, I genuinely cannot think of her as anything other than a girl. Even the knowledge of her past self cannot trump that, because in my mind all she'll ever be is a girl. I also hear a lot of rhetoric that says trans women are not real women. F--- that. Sure, there are biological differences, but my girlfriend is the realest woman I've ever met. When I look at her, I don't think of her past. I see her as who she is now. Beautiful, snarky, intelligent, too funny for her own good. She understands my jokes. She gets all of my nerdy references, and the best part? She'll play Portal with me. I do have to keep up with her incessant need for Stardew Valley though. I don't really get that. All she does is fish all day like a maniac, does she know there's an entire map? Anyways, ladies, you are all worth it. You are deserving of love. There is someone out there who will see you for you, I promise. Please don't give up, because the more of you that give up, the less cute fish there will be in the ocean.

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