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Hold the salami | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:10:06 No.16025656 File: 1615107116300.jpg (54 KB, 793x786) >>16025778 >working at subway >l'm up front cleaning off tables >cute coworkers in the back talking >"anon is kind of cute" >"yeah but he's kind of gay or something" >mfw I was interested, I was just really shy
O Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:10:06 No.16025656 File: 1615107116300.jpg (54 KB, 793x786) >>16025778 >working at subway >l'm up front cleaning off tables >cute coworkers in the back talking >"anon is kind of cute" >"yeah but he's kind of gay or something" >mfw I was interested, I was just really shy

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Anon is cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/21(Sun)17:43:08 No.843898968 ZONE cool 1607458244680.jpg 92 KB JPG >going into store >see some rough looking fellas just outside entrance >nervous >walk by and say 'yo' >one says 'sup g? >mfw im a cool guy now Well since im cool now this will be my last time on 4chan, later f---
: Anonymous 01/03/21(Sun)17:43:08 No.843898968 ZONE cool 1607458244680.jpg 92 KB JPG >going into store >see some rough looking fellas just outside entrance >nervous >walk by and say 'yo' >one says 'sup g? >mfw im a cool guy now Well since im cool now this will be my last time on 4chan, later f---

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Anon isn't bright | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)15:04:14 No.63435820 Am I retarded? >be me >Final year in high school >chatting with friends in class >girl who sat beside me gives me her number on a rolled-up piece of 3 KB JPG paper >"oh, neat" shove it into my pocket and forget about it >next semester >teacher lets us sit wherever we want >no friends in class so no one to sit beside, pick back row because I can f--- around without teacher caring/knowing >same girl sits beside me >whatever.mp4 >one day she rests her head on my shoulder >"damn, she must be tired" >just let it happen >be me now, 2 years later >realize she wanted the D : Anonymous 04/29/21 (Thu)15:07:22 No.63435842 >>63435820 (OP) # Yes you are a retard or at the very least, a eunuch f----- : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)15:07:45 No.63435846 >>63435820 (OP) # Jesus Christ. Yes.
: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)15:04:14 No.63435820 Am I retarded? >be me >Final year in high school >chatting with friends in class >girl who sat beside me gives me her number on a rolled-up piece of 3 KB JPG paper >"oh, neat" shove it into my pocket and forget about it >next semester >teacher lets us sit wherever we want >no friends in class so no one to sit beside, pick back row because I can f--- around without teacher caring/knowing >same girl sits beside me >whatever.mp4 >one day she rests her head on my shoulder >"damn, she must be tired" >just let it happen >be me now, 2 years later >realize she wanted the D : Anonymous 04/29/21 (Thu)15:07:22 No.63435842 >>63435820 (OP) # Yes you are a retard or at the very least, a eunuch f----- : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)15:07:45 No.63435846 >>63435820 (OP) # Jesus Christ. Yes.

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anon works at dunkin donuts | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:14:20 No.62961471 >Be me >Wagecuck >Work at dunkin donuts >Every morning this a------ drives up in his truck and orders a hot coffee >Makes a big deal about it being fresh and "piping hot" >becomes known around the store for being a pain in the 87 KB PNG ass to serve >one morning it's just me and another coworker >Truck guy pulls up and demands that we make it "fresh and hotter than yesterday" >Coworker makes coffee then he gets an idea >Takes the lid off and immediately dunks his balls in the coffee >Falls to the floor screaming, steaming coffee all over his balls and the floor >manager comes in and takes him to the hospital >Turns out he has second degree burns on his balls >Next day manager takes me aside and says if I tell anybody Dunkin will sue me >Pic related
E Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:14:20 No.62961471 >Be me >Wagecuck >Work at dunkin donuts >Every morning this a------ drives up in his truck and orders a hot coffee >Makes a big deal about it being fresh and "piping hot" >becomes known around the store for being a pain in the 87 KB PNG ass to serve >one morning it's just me and another coworker >Truck guy pulls up and demands that we make it "fresh and hotter than yesterday" >Coworker makes coffee then he gets an idea >Takes the lid off and immediately dunks his balls in the coffee >Falls to the floor screaming, steaming coffee all over his balls and the floor >manager comes in and takes him to the hospital >Turns out he has second degree burns on his balls >Next day manager takes me aside and says if I tell anybody Dunkin will sue me >Pic related

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Anon makes some friends at school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/17(Wed)11:54:38 No.40973565 >ex-classmate creates a messenger group >adds me and other classmates in it >another classmate asks what this group is for >have the sudden inexplicable urge 29 KB JPG to say >"One word, PARTY!" >decide not to in the last moment >classmate that texts >its for another classmate's mother's funeral >tfw I almost called a burial a party
: Anonymous 11/08/17(Wed)11:54:38 No.40973565 >ex-classmate creates a messenger group >adds me and other classmates in it >another classmate asks what this group is for >have the sudden inexplicable urge 29 KB JPG to say >"One word, PARTY!" >decide not to in the last moment >classmate that texts >its for another classmate's mother's funeral >tfw I almost called a burial a party

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Anon makes a 360 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)20:17:08 No.55791927 DESPAIR >f--- around in high school and college >full on loser between 18-22, couldn't cook, drive, etc, just went to work and skipped classes >eventually realize that staying blackpilled about achieving my BUT ALSO EVERITHING CONSIDERED, A DETERMINEO SOIL WILL ALNAYS MANIGE. 412 KB JPG goals and setting doesn't give me closure or fulfillment >start doing an almost complete 180, buy a used car and get another job, register for classes >started speaking up more often, ignore vague/unimportant criticism from family, bulldoze through minor tasks or practice autistically until I can get them right >started forcing openings in my schedule instead of waiting for them, plan out things to do with old friends and actively try to meet new ones >don't care about failure anymore, would rather go down fighting for success instead of laying around depressed
: Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)20:17:08 No.55791927 DESPAIR >f--- around in high school and college >full on loser between 18-22, couldn't cook, drive, etc, just went to work and skipped classes >eventually realize that staying blackpilled about achieving my BUT ALSO EVERITHING CONSIDERED, A DETERMINEO SOIL WILL ALNAYS MANIGE. 412 KB JPG goals and setting doesn't give me closure or fulfillment >start doing an almost complete 180, buy a used car and get another job, register for classes >started speaking up more often, ignore vague/unimportant criticism from family, bulldoze through minor tasks or practice autistically until I can get them right >started forcing openings in my schedule instead of waiting for them, plan out things to do with old friends and actively try to meet new ones >don't care about failure anymore, would rather go down fighting for success instead of laying around depressed

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Anon is gonna lose it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)09:25:14 No.63420428 >live a long ass way from my college >don't have a car so I go by bus >takes me nearly 2 hours to get there >get there on time 43 KB JPG >professor needs to see that we did a negative Corona test that morning >f------ forgot mine at home >he f------ sends me away
: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)09:25:14 No.63420428 >live a long ass way from my college >don't have a car so I go by bus >takes me nearly 2 hours to get there >get there on time 43 KB JPG >professor needs to see that we did a negative Corona test that morning >f------ forgot mine at home >he f------ sends me away

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Anon has schizophrenia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:35:36 No.63438665 >Doctors are starting to think about putting me on injectable meds to treat my >Schizophrenia f--- these n------ and their poison meds 6 KB JPG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:38:01 No.63438685 >Schizophrenia >poison meds OP I don't know how to tell you... 34 KB JPG >>63438692 #
: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:35:36 No.63438665 >Doctors are starting to think about putting me on injectable meds to treat my >Schizophrenia f--- these n------ and their poison meds 6 KB JPG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:38:01 No.63438685 >Schizophrenia >poison meds OP I don't know how to tell you... 34 KB JPG >>63438692 #

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Anon fell right into the trap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:05:41 No.63433445 >staring out of my apartment window >see woman trying to open locked gate to the construction site across the street >leave my room and go down there and tell her she's barred 1.24 MB PNG from entering; it's locked >met with complete indifference >turn back and head towards the stairs >just as I'm turning, I get hit in the face and knocked to the ground >get kicked in the ribs several times and stepped on for good measure >manage to wipe the blood off my face and catch a glimpse of who's doing this to me >see an elderly Chinese man with his cane in one hand and service revolver in the other >realize the woman was a ruse to get me out of my apartment >the elderly Chinese man's Triad underlings arrive to surround me and cordon off the exit >forces me at gunpoint to play MAHJONG and defeat them or l'll be banished from the Hua and out into the land of the Yi (our term for barbarians) for eternity : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:07:17 No.63433467 >>63433445 (OP) # Take your meds and get some sleep
: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:05:41 No.63433445 >staring out of my apartment window >see woman trying to open locked gate to the construction site across the street >leave my room and go down there and tell her she's barred 1.24 MB PNG from entering; it's locked >met with complete indifference >turn back and head towards the stairs >just as I'm turning, I get hit in the face and knocked to the ground >get kicked in the ribs several times and stepped on for good measure >manage to wipe the blood off my face and catch a glimpse of who's doing this to me >see an elderly Chinese man with his cane in one hand and service revolver in the other >realize the woman was a ruse to get me out of my apartment >the elderly Chinese man's Triad underlings arrive to surround me and cordon off the exit >forces me at gunpoint to play MAHJONG and defeat them or l'll be banished from the Hua and out into the land of the Yi (our term for barbarians) for eternity : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:07:17 No.63433467 >>63433445 (OP) # Take your meds and get some sleep

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Anon can't go swimming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:44:54 No.743795350 T >About 600 gators are now in the flood water in Houston >Apparently HIV-positive blood has leaked into said 51 KB JPG water (from hospitals being flooded n s---) >AFAIK they're warning people not to go in the water because of the GatorAIDS POOL'S CLOSED
: Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:44:54 No.743795350 T >About 600 gators are now in the flood water in Houston >Apparently HIV-positive blood has leaked into said 51 KB JPG water (from hospitals being flooded n s---) >AFAIK they're warning people not to go in the water because of the GatorAIDS POOL'S CLOSED

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anon watches the sonic movie | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)07:35:05 No.63437691 v apu in a state of absolut(..).jpg (6 KB, 268x188) google yandex iqdb wait You're not the only one anon >Last valentines day >Me and my friends go to the movies >theater in town only just opened >all they have is the sonic movie >Cashier girl hands me the receipt with a smile >Watch movie. >Fast forward a year and a bit >Cleaning up some trash in my room >she wrote her number on the receipt and I never noticed >Feel like an utter moron >decide to give it a call anyways >number no longer in service
O Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)07:35:05 No.63437691 v apu in a state of absolut(..).jpg (6 KB, 268x188) google yandex iqdb wait You're not the only one anon >Last valentines day >Me and my friends go to the movies >theater in town only just opened >all they have is the sonic movie >Cashier girl hands me the receipt with a smile >Watch movie. >Fast forward a year and a bit >Cleaning up some trash in my room >she wrote her number on the receipt and I never noticed >Feel like an utter moron >decide to give it a call anyways >number no longer in service

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anon’s brother is lazy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)10:01:00 No.853009792 >be me >little brother is a lazy p------------ (more than most of you bastards) >doesn't want to do anything himself >one morning he tells me to make him pancakes >doesn't ask, he's telling me to AGGRAVATED 173 KB JPG >fed up with his b------- >take a massive s--- in the toilet >pull it out >put it in the pancake batter >make sure to chop it up real good so it's not obvious, put in some chocolate chips too >bring pancakes into his room, which has the stench of piss >leave before he starts to eat them >hear a blood curdling scream a few minutes later >run into his room, pretending not to know what's wrong >he's on the floor >pancakes are completely gone >he ate them all >"what's wrong?" >"MY PC CRASHED" >it's been three days and i still don't think he realized what was in those pancakes
: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)10:01:00 No.853009792 >be me >little brother is a lazy p------------ (more than most of you bastards) >doesn't want to do anything himself >one morning he tells me to make him pancakes >doesn't ask, he's telling me to AGGRAVATED 173 KB JPG >fed up with his b------- >take a massive s--- in the toilet >pull it out >put it in the pancake batter >make sure to chop it up real good so it's not obvious, put in some chocolate chips too >bring pancakes into his room, which has the stench of piss >leave before he starts to eat them >hear a blood curdling scream a few minutes later >run into his room, pretending not to know what's wrong >he's on the floor >pancakes are completely gone >he ate them all >"what's wrong?" >"MY PC CRASHED" >it's been three days and i still don't think he realized what was in those pancakes

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I feel offended | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)17:23:38 No.28343082 Just about >yfw you realize that grey alien spaceships are actually swarming in the skies and they're just invisible McFuckina had it 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)17:27:13 No.28343104 >yfw They are just studying us, and prolly have entire years of content of you fapping and wasting your life that they use as an example of how f----- humanity is 54 KB JPG >>28343193 #
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)17:23:38 No.28343082 Just about >yfw you realize that grey alien spaceships are actually swarming in the skies and they're just invisible McFuckina had it 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)17:27:13 No.28343104 >yfw They are just studying us, and prolly have entire years of content of you fapping and wasting your life that they use as an example of how f----- humanity is 54 KB JPG >>28343193 #

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Anon goes to grocery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 745713917 1 hr ago .. > Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little s---- in supermarkets. > Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. > But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little c---- that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. > Okay, here's the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the f------ skin, too. > This was when the gears started turning. > The moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little s---'s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little c--- he is. >I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming "S---! S---!" V> > Now, my good friend, Tom we'll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. > He started shouting "F---! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! F---!." > By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying. > Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid. > Here's the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say > "Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I'm... I'm F------ HIV POSITIVE." > And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. > The brat knows he just f----- up big time because his mom isn't defending his ass. > She just stares at me wide eyed. >I walk away from them, buy my s--- from the wide eyed cashier > All the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. > And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the c--- she is. >I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that s--.
Anonymous | 745713917 1 hr ago .. > Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little s---- in supermarkets. > Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. > But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little c---- that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. > Okay, here's the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the f------ skin, too. > This was when the gears started turning. > The moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little s---'s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little c--- he is. >I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming "S---! S---!" V> > Now, my good friend, Tom we'll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. > He started shouting "F---! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! F---!." > By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying. > Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid. > Here's the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say > "Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I'm... I'm F------ HIV POSITIVE." > And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. > The brat knows he just f----- up big time because his mom isn't defending his ass. > She just stares at me wide eyed. >I walk away from them, buy my s--- from the wide eyed cashier > All the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. > And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the c--- she is. >I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that s--.

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anon is a skellington | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)08:44:16 No.853238534 >be MtF trannie in 2020s >"trans women are women" >yasss >travel to the Alps for a ski holiday >die under avalanche >they never find my body 115 KB JPG >ffw to AD 3472 >archeologists dig my skellington up >finally >"Analysis of the skeletal remains recently recovered from the Alps shows that they clearly belonged to a human male" >mfw
: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)08:44:16 No.853238534 >be MtF trannie in 2020s >"trans women are women" >yasss >travel to the Alps for a ski holiday >die under avalanche >they never find my body 115 KB JPG >ffw to AD 3472 >archeologists dig my skellington up >finally >"Analysis of the skeletal remains recently recovered from the Alps shows that they clearly belonged to a human male" >mfw

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I like your water | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)15:14:14 No.61205288 >Been working in a cafe for side job >See blonde cutie 8/10 >She's a regular >We never really talk much but ask about each other on how each of our day is >Co-worker say she likes me and is sure of it. >Just laugh and say ok >Ohshitohfucksomeonelikesme.jpg >Go to /fit/ and ask how to talk to her because i dont wanna drop my spaghetti >They say find some common ground both of you have/like and talk about that >Next time she comes >She mires and says she likes my shirt and how good it fits me ands asks if i lift >Say yeah >Remember about the advice from /fit/ bro >Tell her i liker her water >She looks confused >Lift up my finger like E.T when he left earth and touch her >l said "your water inside here" >Touch her chest >She's backs off a little and says what??? >Smile and say there is water inside you, just like inside me and i like that in you >She has that shocked and disgusted look on her face >Says ok grabs her coffee and leaves. >lt's been 2 weeks now and she haven't come back since. >Co-worker saw it all coudn't stop laughing for 5 min straight and always does the E.T finger move when he leaves Well i got my first mire from a cute girl tho so i cant complain >>61205355 #>>61205406 #>>61205662 #>>61205703 # >>61205827 # >>61206050 # >>61206314 # >>61206891 # >>61206919 # >>61207164 # 361207166 # >>61207287 # >>61207460# >>61207600 # >>61208091 #
: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)15:14:14 No.61205288 >Been working in a cafe for side job >See blonde cutie 8/10 >She's a regular >We never really talk much but ask about each other on how each of our day is >Co-worker say she likes me and is sure of it. >Just laugh and say ok >Ohshitohfucksomeonelikesme.jpg >Go to /fit/ and ask how to talk to her because i dont wanna drop my spaghetti >They say find some common ground both of you have/like and talk about that >Next time she comes >She mires and says she likes my shirt and how good it fits me ands asks if i lift >Say yeah >Remember about the advice from /fit/ bro >Tell her i liker her water >She looks confused >Lift up my finger like E.T when he left earth and touch her >l said "your water inside here" >Touch her chest >She's backs off a little and says what??? >Smile and say there is water inside you, just like inside me and i like that in you >She has that shocked and disgusted look on her face >Says ok grabs her coffee and leaves. >lt's been 2 weeks now and she haven't come back since. >Co-worker saw it all coudn't stop laughing for 5 min straight and always does the E.T finger move when he leaves Well i got my first mire from a cute girl tho so i cant complain >>61205355 #>>61205406 #>>61205662 #>>61205703 # >>61205827 # >>61206050 # >>61206314 # >>61206891 # >>61206919 # >>61207164 # 361207166 # >>61207287 # >>61207460# >>61207600 # >>61208091 #

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