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Anon educates us on the government | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes on an impregnation spree | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 134173985 Hace 2 h •.. >I did the good ol Thailand sesh with the boys last year at age 20 >Had a good friend who lived in Bangkok who showed us a great time >Virgin with rage so I don't care what happens 1,4 MB GIF >Was there for 2 weeks and f----- anywhere from 5-10 girls a day/ night except for a cool off day half way through >Raw dogged every single one and came in every single p---- or anus >Told majority I was using a rubber when they insisted I had to >Still nutted raw regardless >Many fights with little thai woman over me c------ in them but the lads had my back >After I left I got checked for STD's and luckily I was free >Mfw Mate who lives in Bangkok tells me I got many of them pregnant and they are trying to get my information from him 12 REPLIES
Anonymous | 134173985 Hace 2 h •.. >I did the good ol Thailand sesh with the boys last year at age 20 >Had a good friend who lived in Bangkok who showed us a great time >Virgin with rage so I don't care what happens 1,4 MB GIF >Was there for 2 weeks and f----- anywhere from 5-10 girls a day/ night except for a cool off day half way through >Raw dogged every single one and came in every single p---- or anus >Told majority I was using a rubber when they insisted I had to >Still nutted raw regardless >Many fights with little thai woman over me c------ in them but the lads had my back >After I left I got checked for STD's and luckily I was free >Mfw Mate who lives in Bangkok tells me I got many of them pregnant and they are trying to get my information from him 12 REPLIES

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Anons mom gets beaned | /r/Greentext

File: 284.png (357 KB, 600x840) Uh oh! You friccin moron. You just got BEANEDM Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)13:45:14 No.771509716 >Be me >14 >My mom is super scared about what I have on my phone >Download one of those calculator apps that hide images behind a code >One day she was going through my phone >She bursts into my room, phone in hand >"Anon! What is this?" >Tell her it's just a calculator app >l'm freaking out on the inside >She says she knows what it is >O_Shit.jpg >"OPEN IT NOW ANON!" >Start freaking out >Say no >She threatens to take away everything I have for a year >Unlock calculator Tag your friends to totally BEAN! them! >She looks at screen >Theres only one image >She opens it >It's literally just the stupid beaned picture >Mom looks at me >"What the f--- anon?"
File: 284.png (357 KB, 600x840) Uh oh! You friccin moron. You just got BEANEDM Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)13:45:14 No.771509716 >Be me >14 >My mom is super scared about what I have on my phone >Download one of those calculator apps that hide images behind a code >One day she was going through my phone >She bursts into my room, phone in hand >"Anon! What is this?" >Tell her it's just a calculator app >l'm freaking out on the inside >She says she knows what it is >O_Shit.jpg >"OPEN IT NOW ANON!" >Start freaking out >Say no >She threatens to take away everything I have for a year >Unlock calculator Tag your friends to totally BEAN! them! >She looks at screen >Theres only one image >She opens it >It's literally just the stupid beaned picture >Mom looks at me >"What the f--- anon?"

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The puddle sucker | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)11:15:07 No.792359077 >be me >gap year >work as nursery assistant at a home for mentally challenged (IQ>70) >one guy is very unintelligent >24 years old >IQ too low to learn how to speak >only says weird sounds >no friends >only hobby is to suck puddles dry >once tried sucking lake dry >puked multiple times >once all got sick from bad food >he didn't because of superior stomach from sucking puddles >one day the home gets a new manager >decides that puddlesucker cannot suck puddles anymore >puddlesucker gets very sad >one time I have the night shift >its raining >see puddlesucker stand by the window crying looking at the many delicious puddles >l open the door >puddlesucker runs outside faster than a 4chan user chasing an icecream truck >sucks on atleast 7 puddles >comes back >gives me big wet hug >mfw guy who doesn't even crack a smile when he sees his family after 2 months, gives me a hug
O Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)11:15:07 No.792359077 >be me >gap year >work as nursery assistant at a home for mentally challenged (IQ>70) >one guy is very unintelligent >24 years old >IQ too low to learn how to speak >only says weird sounds >no friends >only hobby is to suck puddles dry >once tried sucking lake dry >puked multiple times >once all got sick from bad food >he didn't because of superior stomach from sucking puddles >one day the home gets a new manager >decides that puddlesucker cannot suck puddles anymore >puddlesucker gets very sad >one time I have the night shift >its raining >see puddlesucker stand by the window crying looking at the many delicious puddles >l open the door >puddlesucker runs outside faster than a 4chan user chasing an icecream truck >sucks on atleast 7 puddles >comes back >gives me big wet hug >mfw guy who doesn't even crack a smile when he sees his family after 2 months, gives me a hug

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Thomas Jefferson says “live free or die hard” | /r/Greentext


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anon is a schizo | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/28/21(Tue)10:20:37 No.863972278 am i a schizo or am i being haunted? >be me, highschool >always been a loner, high- functioning autistic guy >looked like a school 9 KB JPG shooter so people were nice to me, but i didnt have many *real* friends >in 5th period, study hall >finished all my homework, put my head down because am tired >feel something touching my back >ignore it, whatever >it keeps rubbing my back >hear it rubbing the nylon fabric of my jacket >this goes on until the end of class >get up, look around >nobody is there >wat.jpg >that was weird >couple years later, im in college >arrive to class early >first one there, whatever >sit down >scroll through facebook like the 87 year old man i am at heart >see people out of the corner of my eye >look up >nobody is there >well okay >look back down at my phone >keep seeing people at the corner of my eye >every time I look, they're gone >well s--- ok >ignore it >eventually, when someone comes in, the "shadows" disappear >thats f----- up >be me now >minimum wage back room associate at TJMAXX >whatever, money while i go to college >alone most times, processing the products that come in >always hear things >see people at the corner of my eye, but when i look, they're gone >constantly feel like im being called >every so often I hear "anon!" >when i look, nobody is there the f--- is going on /b/ros
Anonymous 09/28/21(Tue)10:20:37 No.863972278 am i a schizo or am i being haunted? >be me, highschool >always been a loner, high- functioning autistic guy >looked like a school 9 KB JPG shooter so people were nice to me, but i didnt have many *real* friends >in 5th period, study hall >finished all my homework, put my head down because am tired >feel something touching my back >ignore it, whatever >it keeps rubbing my back >hear it rubbing the nylon fabric of my jacket >this goes on until the end of class >get up, look around >nobody is there >wat.jpg >that was weird >couple years later, im in college >arrive to class early >first one there, whatever >sit down >scroll through facebook like the 87 year old man i am at heart >see people out of the corner of my eye >look up >nobody is there >well okay >look back down at my phone >keep seeing people at the corner of my eye >every time I look, they're gone >well s--- ok >ignore it >eventually, when someone comes in, the "shadows" disappear >thats f----- up >be me now >minimum wage back room associate at TJMAXX >whatever, money while i go to college >alone most times, processing the products that come in >always hear things >see people at the corner of my eye, but when i look, they're gone >constantly feel like im being called >every so often I hear "anon!" >when i look, nobody is there the f--- is going on /b/ros

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Anon helps his bullies | /r/Greentext


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Anon quits fapping | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a plan to kill all pedos | /r/Greentext


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Anon is bullied | /r/Greentext


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Indomitable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/27/21(Mon)22:15:53 No.65549797 >ask for advice on whether to buy a femdom session or not 2 days ago >femanon in thread says not to pay for femdom and that she'll do it herself >add her, talk for a bit, conversation goes well, say we'll 222 KB JPG talk tomorrow >no response since I will never get a dom gf again
: Anonymous 09/27/21(Mon)22:15:53 No.65549797 >ask for advice on whether to buy a femdom session or not 2 days ago >femanon in thread says not to pay for femdom and that she'll do it herself >add her, talk for a bit, conversation goes well, say we'll 222 KB JPG talk tomorrow >no response since I will never get a dom gf again

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Like Daughter, Like Father | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/21(Tue)13:12:44 No.863989888 >have a new girlfriend >she gave me head the other day >s--- was awesome >meet her dad for the first time today >he's a big scary biker dude >he squeezes my hand and stares deep into my soul 114 KB JPG >"Anon, anything you do to my daughter you'll have to do to me. If you hold her hand, you'll have to hold my hand, if you hug her, you'll have to hug me. Understand?" >say yes sir and pull down my pants >wake up in the ICU >that was still great head though
: Anonymous 09/28/21(Tue)13:12:44 No.863989888 >have a new girlfriend >she gave me head the other day >s--- was awesome >meet her dad for the first time today >he's a big scary biker dude >he squeezes my hand and stares deep into my soul 114 KB JPG >"Anon, anything you do to my daughter you'll have to do to me. If you hold her hand, you'll have to hold my hand, if you hug her, you'll have to hug me. Understand?" >say yes sir and pull down my pants >wake up in the ICU >that was still great head though

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Anon gets rekt | /r/Greentext

File: myband2.jpg (67 KB, 512x384) Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:33:12 No.601590207 [Reply] Name my band, guise. Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:34:09 No.601590316 tech support
File: myband2.jpg (67 KB, 512x384) Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:33:12 No.601590207 [Reply] Name my band, guise. Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:34:09 No.601590316 tech support

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Anon talks to good voiceeee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)00:11:28 No.64827515 >be me >uni >spot a super cute girl working the salad bar in the commons >drop dead gorgeous, deep brown eyes and soft, silky black hair >even with COVID masks I could tell she 553 KB PNG was beautiful >chat her up >she had a brace around her index finger, I find out she got mauled by a squirrell trying to feed it >Imao'd with her >shuffle away with my tray of salad like a p---- >decide to approach her at the end of her shift >phone number on a paper, I approach her and shoot my shot >bf, to no one's surprise >I thank her and tell her to have a good day >feel like a retard for a moment, it really seemed she was interested >I see her from time to time working there throughout the year >l always chat up workers there, sometimes I wouldn't immediately recognize her with masks >she clearly felt bad about rejecting me, nice girl >l never felt any regrets Shoot your shot anons, the worst that happens is that they say no. If they're a bitch about it, they're not good people anyways.
: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)00:11:28 No.64827515 >be me >uni >spot a super cute girl working the salad bar in the commons >drop dead gorgeous, deep brown eyes and soft, silky black hair >even with COVID masks I could tell she 553 KB PNG was beautiful >chat her up >she had a brace around her index finger, I find out she got mauled by a squirrell trying to feed it >Imao'd with her >shuffle away with my tray of salad like a p---- >decide to approach her at the end of her shift >phone number on a paper, I approach her and shoot my shot >bf, to no one's surprise >I thank her and tell her to have a good day >feel like a retard for a moment, it really seemed she was interested >I see her from time to time working there throughout the year >l always chat up workers there, sometimes I wouldn't immediately recognize her with masks >she clearly felt bad about rejecting me, nice girl >l never felt any regrets Shoot your shot anons, the worst that happens is that they say no. If they're a bitch about it, they're not good people anyways.

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Anon stays up late | /r/Greentext


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Independent Woman | /r/Greentext


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#Stop anti-white hate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The grand global mayonnaise ps(...) 09/27/21(Mon)22:47:25 No.65550130 Alright lads, lets start with the basics: >it is physically impossible for a living human to enjoy the taste of mayonnaise >there is not a more repulsive food product in existence than HELLMANNS REAL 1.44 MB JPG mayonnaise >it is absurd to think professional chefs would intentionally include raw egg and vinegar paste in their dishes, other than to sabotage an unruly patron >there has never been a confirmed case of a living conscious neurotypical human being voluntarily and consensually consuming mayonnaise without immediately vomiting or dying AND YET, ALL THAT CONSIDERED, >there exist people (liars) in this world who claim (lie) to LIKE mayonnaise and LIKE putting mayonnaise into their mouths, tasting it, feeling it, slurping it down, pretending like it doesnt phase them, holding back the vomit until they are out of sight to promote the illusion of enjoying mayonnaise Who are these people really? Are they human? Are they part of some global conspiracy theory to gaslight the normal folks into believing that mayonnaise is edible? Assuming thats the case, as there is no other reasonable explanation, who is funding this global mayonnaise psyop and why are they pushing it so hard? Even some of my own friends and family are in on it! W-- bros whats the deal with this insanity
: Anonymous The grand global mayonnaise ps(...) 09/27/21(Mon)22:47:25 No.65550130 Alright lads, lets start with the basics: >it is physically impossible for a living human to enjoy the taste of mayonnaise >there is not a more repulsive food product in existence than HELLMANNS REAL 1.44 MB JPG mayonnaise >it is absurd to think professional chefs would intentionally include raw egg and vinegar paste in their dishes, other than to sabotage an unruly patron >there has never been a confirmed case of a living conscious neurotypical human being voluntarily and consensually consuming mayonnaise without immediately vomiting or dying AND YET, ALL THAT CONSIDERED, >there exist people (liars) in this world who claim (lie) to LIKE mayonnaise and LIKE putting mayonnaise into their mouths, tasting it, feeling it, slurping it down, pretending like it doesnt phase them, holding back the vomit until they are out of sight to promote the illusion of enjoying mayonnaise Who are these people really? Are they human? Are they part of some global conspiracy theory to gaslight the normal folks into believing that mayonnaise is edible? Assuming thats the case, as there is no other reasonable explanation, who is funding this global mayonnaise psyop and why are they pushing it so hard? Even some of my own friends and family are in on it! W-- bros whats the deal with this insanity

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Anon gets a compliment | /r/Greentext

File: super-happy.png (131 KB, 812x788) Anonymous 09/28/21(Tue)09:59:56 No.65555227 >>65555248 > be me > this morning > walking to my car to go to work > come to a crosswalk > "excuse me!", turn and see a beautiful lady in her car > im trying to figure out why she is talking to me > "you have the nicest thickest hair i have ever seen on a man" > blaragesage.mov > "oh uh, thanks" > "just wanted you to know!" > she drives off and i go to work made my f------ year
File: super-happy.png (131 KB, 812x788) Anonymous 09/28/21(Tue)09:59:56 No.65555227 >>65555248 > be me > this morning > walking to my car to go to work > come to a crosswalk > "excuse me!", turn and see a beautiful lady in her car > im trying to figure out why she is talking to me > "you have the nicest thickest hair i have ever seen on a man" > blaragesage.mov > "oh uh, thanks" > "just wanted you to know!" > she drives off and i go to work made my f------ year

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Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext


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What has this poor rock ever done to you? | /r/Greentext

>Be me, a rock >Glacier broke me off of my mother rock and deposited me inside a hill >FFW a couple of billion years, some guys dig me up. Sit me on top of the hill. Nice view 89 KB JPG >They tell me l'm a glacier erratic and one of the biggest they've ever found >They name me after this guy Chamberlin who studied glacier geology. He was all about my family and me. >Feels good man >A newspaper called my another name one time >These people called social justice warriors are upset about that name they called me that one time >They say I make them feel sad >Men with a big truck pick me up and move me somewhere else. >l miss my hill >l'm just a rock guys. I'm not racist.
>Be me, a rock >Glacier broke me off of my mother rock and deposited me inside a hill >FFW a couple of billion years, some guys dig me up. Sit me on top of the hill. Nice view 89 KB JPG >They tell me l'm a glacier erratic and one of the biggest they've ever found >They name me after this guy Chamberlin who studied glacier geology. He was all about my family and me. >Feels good man >A newspaper called my another name one time >These people called social justice warriors are upset about that name they called me that one time >They say I make them feel sad >Men with a big truck pick me up and move me somewhere else. >l miss my hill >l'm just a rock guys. I'm not racist.

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