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/vp/ anon is straight | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:38:04 No.50424725 ► >50424802 File: transparent oguro.png (1018 KB, 906x1357) >>50423851 (OP). I wish I was gay so I could fap to raihan. >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:54:02 No.50424802 ► >50424815 >>50424725 Why can't you do it now? >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:57:15 No.50424815 ► File: kotoura_ dont.png (797 KB, 935x1220) DON'T >>50424802 because I'm not gay. Can't you read?
>> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:38:04 No.50424725 ► >50424802 File: transparent oguro.png (1018 KB, 906x1357) >>50423851 (OP). I wish I was gay so I could fap to raihan. >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:54:02 No.50424802 ► >50424815 >>50424725 Why can't you do it now? >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:57:15 No.50424815 ► File: kotoura_ dont.png (797 KB, 935x1220) DON'T >>50424802 because I'm not gay. Can't you read?

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Anon wants funny videos | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)00:29:55 No.878106815 >be me >finally get tiktok >start scrolling >see some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life >realize l'll never meet any of them and even if i did i wouldnt have a chance >put my phone down and stare at ceiling for an hour thinking about how much of my life l've wasted 9 KB JPG what the hell i just wanted to watch some funny videos : Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)00:31:07 No.878106876 >>878106815 (OP) # Yes, social media is harmful.
: Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)00:29:55 No.878106815 >be me >finally get tiktok >start scrolling >see some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life >realize l'll never meet any of them and even if i did i wouldnt have a chance >put my phone down and stare at ceiling for an hour thinking about how much of my life l've wasted 9 KB JPG what the hell i just wanted to watch some funny videos : Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)00:31:07 No.878106876 >>878106815 (OP) # Yes, social media is harmful.

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Because you're autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)20:39:25 No.874856366 I can't stop acting like I'm in a dark movie. >Cousin talks to me >Eventually asks me the question "what did you lose?" 69 KB JPG >Whisper "Everything" with a dead stare >Meet this one chick >We talk >She tells me a joke >I whisper "That's funny" with a dead stare and no emotion : Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)20:58:59 No.874857421 The movie must be Rain Man because you're autistic. >>874857470 # >>874857927 #
: Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)20:39:25 No.874856366 I can't stop acting like I'm in a dark movie. >Cousin talks to me >Eventually asks me the question "what did you lose?" 69 KB JPG >Whisper "Everything" with a dead stare >Meet this one chick >We talk >She tells me a joke >I whisper "That's funny" with a dead stare and no emotion : Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)20:58:59 No.874857421 The movie must be Rain Man because you're autistic. >>874857470 # >>874857927 #

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Anon suffers a heartbreak | /r/Greentext

O l just can't stop thinking about it Anonymous (ID: pk1kFdVg) 05/14/22(Sat)02:56:04 No.15203622 [Reply] > >>15203629 >be me >be 12 years old >have a 2 week old kitten >build up a long and loving friendship with the cat >*1 year later" >*cat has kittens* >be really happy >*5 days later >see that the kittens aren't in their small house I built for them ( it was big enough for all 3 of them to fit ) >notices that she put them somewhere near my window ( Its not high, so they cant be hurt by falling ) >*30 minutes later* >hear loud high pitched meowing near window >see that a bird saw the kittens and started pecking them >immediately scared off the bird >went outside to see if anything worse happened >see that 2 are already dead and one is meowing in pain with blood in its mouth >try to help in some way >*kitten dies in hands* >*cries myself to sleep* I wish I could of helped sooner :'(
O l just can't stop thinking about it Anonymous (ID: pk1kFdVg) 05/14/22(Sat)02:56:04 No.15203622 [Reply] > >>15203629 >be me >be 12 years old >have a 2 week old kitten >build up a long and loving friendship with the cat >*1 year later" >*cat has kittens* >be really happy >*5 days later >see that the kittens aren't in their small house I built for them ( it was big enough for all 3 of them to fit ) >notices that she put them somewhere near my window ( Its not high, so they cant be hurt by falling ) >*30 minutes later* >hear loud high pitched meowing near window >see that a bird saw the kittens and started pecking them >immediately scared off the bird >went outside to see if anything worse happened >see that 2 are already dead and one is meowing in pain with blood in its mouth >try to help in some way >*kitten dies in hands* >*cries myself to sleep* I wish I could of helped sooner :'(

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Anon cannot top | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/21(Tue)15:30:42 No.65731923 >Make dating app account >Heterosexual, show to women >3 likes, no matches in a week >Disappointed by curious, switch to males >70 likes in an 2 hours 345 KB PNG There was nothing wrong with me, female standards became so insane they beyond self- parody right now.
: Anonymous 10/12/21(Tue)15:30:42 No.65731923 >Make dating app account >Heterosexual, show to women >3 likes, no matches in a week >Disappointed by curious, switch to males >70 likes in an 2 hours 345 KB PNG There was nothing wrong with me, female standards became so insane they beyond self- parody right now.

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Anon has no clue | /r/Greentext

>the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
>the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon wants to design bullets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)17:02:41 No.48737157 00CK ED3AB93C-E048-41E1-83A6-5C1349434A8F.png 470 KB PNG >bruh what if we made bullets that were like...double bullets? >and let's put a big badass fin on it >yeah but the fin should have speed holes god I wish I was a military gun designer in the 80s/90s and got paid to come up with tardprojects
: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)17:02:41 No.48737157 00CK ED3AB93C-E048-41E1-83A6-5C1349434A8F.png 470 KB PNG >bruh what if we made bullets that were like...double bullets? >and let's put a big badass fin on it >yeah but the fin should have speed holes god I wish I was a military gun designer in the 80s/90s and got paid to come up with tardprojects

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thirsty dog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)07:14:07 No.4142940 676677.jpg 26 KB JPG *ahem* Everyone, I have an announcement to make. 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)07:14:48 No.4142941 7687878.png 183 KB PNG *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop*
: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)07:14:07 No.4142940 676677.jpg 26 KB JPG *ahem* Everyone, I have an announcement to make. 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)07:14:48 No.4142941 7687878.png 183 KB PNG *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop**schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop* *schlop*

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anon goes on a band trip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)11:59:14 No.878073460 mpxgshrh0v811.jpg| 43 KB JPG >riding school bus on a band trip >Friend and I are playing the s----- meme band music >Bus driver gives us Bluetooth access kek >Decide to play the ram ranch clean version off YouTube >Literally laughing my ass off as the intro plays, students are all blushing hard in embarrassment >Lyrics start, giant collective thank God >Everyone laughs Pic related >Bus rear ends someone
: Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)11:59:14 No.878073460 mpxgshrh0v811.jpg| 43 KB JPG >riding school bus on a band trip >Friend and I are playing the s----- meme band music >Bus driver gives us Bluetooth access kek >Decide to play the ram ranch clean version off YouTube >Literally laughing my ass off as the intro plays, students are all blushing hard in embarrassment >Lyrics start, giant collective thank God >Everyone laughs Pic related >Bus rear ends someone

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anon experiences freedom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/17(Mon)18:27:00 No.746910916 >be american >go to elementary school >get shot >go to high school >get shot >go to university >get shot 57 KB JPG >go to work >get shot >join the national guard >get shot >go to watch my favourite movie >get shot >go to see my favourite country singer >get shot god bless the constitutions View Thread
: Anonymous 10/02/17(Mon)18:27:00 No.746910916 >be american >go to elementary school >get shot >go to high school >get shot >go to university >get shot 57 KB JPG >go to work >get shot >join the national guard >get shot >go to watch my favourite movie >get shot >go to see my favourite country singer >get shot god bless the constitutions View Thread

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Anon makes a bad argument. | /r/Greentext

25 MSNBC EST. 1996 This is who we are. TUCH RLSON TONIGHT 5A7A17E2-3710-4C87-8651-BE31A75D0BDD.jpg 116 KB JPG >>68614844 # >what if I showed you a picture of 15 year old me beating off to 25 year old pornographic actress >you'd say that perfectly fine >it's 'normal' for a boy of that age >you might even say I have a nice penis >and you'd be right >now what if footage emerged of 25 year old me beating off to pictures of a 15 year old Ukrainian girl i'd solicited via discord/twitter >liberals would have you believe l'm a monster >a child molester and a p-------- >but hold on wasn't it fine when I was the 15 year old masturbating in front of you?
25 MSNBC EST. 1996 This is who we are. TUCH RLSON TONIGHT 5A7A17E2-3710-4C87-8651-BE31A75D0BDD.jpg 116 KB JPG >>68614844 # >what if I showed you a picture of 15 year old me beating off to 25 year old pornographic actress >you'd say that perfectly fine >it's 'normal' for a boy of that age >you might even say I have a nice penis >and you'd be right >now what if footage emerged of 25 year old me beating off to pictures of a 15 year old Ukrainian girl i'd solicited via discord/twitter >liberals would have you believe l'm a monster >a child molester and a p-------- >but hold on wasn't it fine when I was the 15 year old masturbating in front of you?

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Anon is a retard savant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:14:15 No.855313589 >be me >college loser >in a math-heavy program >have exam coming up >barely study >smoke weed and eat churros 27 KB JPG >exam time comes, get 16% >not a typo, I somehow got 16% >prof has a policy where he'll change how exams are written if class average is under 65% >announces that the majority of the class passed but due to a few outliers, the class average was 64.2 and next exam will be open book >realize I'm a f------ hero >smoke weed and eat churros What have you guys done for your community lately?
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:14:15 No.855313589 >be me >college loser >in a math-heavy program >have exam coming up >barely study >smoke weed and eat churros 27 KB JPG >exam time comes, get 16% >not a typo, I somehow got 16% >prof has a policy where he'll change how exams are written if class average is under 65% >announces that the majority of the class passed but due to a few outliers, the class average was 64.2 and next exam will be open book >realize I'm a f------ hero >smoke weed and eat churros What have you guys done for your community lately?

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Anon avenges he’s son | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)03:39:01 No.878051894 >>878032916 # >be me >at home, having to s--- >forget to lock door >Son (11) also has to s--- >He opens the door the second i get up to pull my pants dn >He's staring directly at my magnificent Penis >Within seconds his Hair turns Blue, Lipstick and Eyeliner materialise on his face >His clothes begin to shift into a cute Summer Dress with high socks >A Bad Dragon horse dildo size XXL falls out of his pocket. >Have to drown him in the Toilet because i ain't raising a f-----.
: Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)03:39:01 No.878051894 >>878032916 # >be me >at home, having to s--- >forget to lock door >Son (11) also has to s--- >He opens the door the second i get up to pull my pants dn >He's staring directly at my magnificent Penis >Within seconds his Hair turns Blue, Lipstick and Eyeliner materialise on his face >His clothes begin to shift into a cute Summer Dress with high socks >A Bad Dragon horse dildo size XXL falls out of his pocket. >Have to drown him in the Toilet because i ain't raising a f-----.

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Who's there? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/12/20(Tue)22:36:00 No.58122654 >go outside >see people with long hair >see people with t--- >see people wearing a dress >they're everywhere W-- guys I thought women were just a meme 280 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/12/20(Tue)22:36:00 No.58122654 >go outside >see people with long hair >see people with t--- >see people wearing a dress >they're everywhere W-- guys I thought women were just a meme 280 KB PNG

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Anon lives with Brother. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/31/20(Fri)14:11:21 No.59352187 >Be me > Live with brother who is an abusive a------ > Beats my mom > Takes brother's toothbrush when he is going to work > Go to nearby restaurant with 468 KB PNG toothbrush on "Can I use the toilet pls I really need to go" "Okay, go ahead anon" > Rubs the toothbrush against the toilets (not on the poop i'm not retarded) >Put toothbrush back to where it was >Brother diagnosed with coronavirus MFW
: Anonymous 07/31/20(Fri)14:11:21 No.59352187 >Be me > Live with brother who is an abusive a------ > Beats my mom > Takes brother's toothbrush when he is going to work > Go to nearby restaurant with 468 KB PNG toothbrush on "Can I use the toilet pls I really need to go" "Okay, go ahead anon" > Rubs the toothbrush against the toilets (not on the poop i'm not retarded) >Put toothbrush back to where it was >Brother diagnosed with coronavirus MFW

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Anon discovers coffee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)00:57:54 No.68614371 >tfw just discovered the power of caffeine at age 22 Normalfags have been using this stuff the whole time? I feel cheated. 42 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)00:57:54 No.68614371 >tfw just discovered the power of caffeine at age 22 Normalfags have been using this stuff the whole time? I feel cheated. 42 KB JPG

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He's no slouch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)08:29:31 No.68608669 >try to improve my posture by sitting upright and not slouching when walking >immediately notice an improvement in my overall appearance 183 KB JPG H-------- the fix your posture meme is not a joke.
: Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)08:29:31 No.68608669 >try to improve my posture by sitting upright and not slouching when walking >immediately notice an improvement in my overall appearance 183 KB JPG H-------- the fix your posture meme is not a joke.

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Anon is vince gilligan | /r/Greentext

Better-Call-Saul-Season-5-Episode-10-Michael-Mando-Nacho.jpg 661 KB JPG >>157744396 # >We need a Mexican guy for the cartel >I know, we'll call him Nacho, because that's what they eat down there
Better-Call-Saul-Season-5-Episode-10-Michael-Mando-Nacho.jpg 661 KB JPG >>157744396 # >We need a Mexican guy for the cartel >I know, we'll call him Nacho, because that's what they eat down there

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Anon’s parents go on vacation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)08:49:51 No.64913962 >Parents are on vacation >Gave me $250 for 2 weeks >Planning on spending $1/day on ravioli cans >Saving the rest for videogames and action figures Can I make it? 37 KB JPG 15 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)08:49:51 No.64913962 >Parents are on vacation >Gave me $250 for 2 weeks >Planning on spending $1/day on ravioli cans >Saving the rest for videogames and action figures Can I make it? 37 KB JPG 15 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon contemplates furries | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)20:46:25 No.68611407 Why are furries so much more accepting and tolerant of people, even absolute weirdos, compared to non-furries? 41 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)21:15:33 No.68611889 >>68611407 (OP) # They themselves are weirdos and have to take what they can get ロ口
: Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)20:46:25 No.68611407 Why are furries so much more accepting and tolerant of people, even absolute weirdos, compared to non-furries? 41 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)21:15:33 No.68611889 >>68611407 (OP) # They themselves are weirdos and have to take what they can get ロ口

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