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Anon is secretly Sonic The Hedgehog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)05:06:17 No.65843364 >be me >walking around with loose change >pockets full of coin >hapilly stroling wen >egads >trip on the sidewalk >flop face first to it 82 KB JPG >all my loose change comes out of my pockets >guy comes in >"you okay there sonic?" >fml
: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)05:06:17 No.65843364 >be me >walking around with loose change >pockets full of coin >hapilly stroling wen >egads >trip on the sidewalk >flop face first to it 82 KB JPG >all my loose change comes out of my pockets >guy comes in >"you okay there sonic?" >fml

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Anon Doesn’t like the backrooms | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)13:08:35 No.549984012 2>54998412 e: 1607694157686.jpg (429 KB, 1082x928) >DUDE CHECK IT OUT >THERE'S NOTHING HERE, ISN'T THAT SCARY???
Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)13:08:35 No.549984012 2>54998412 e: 1607694157686.jpg (429 KB, 1082x928) >DUDE CHECK IT OUT >THERE'S NOTHING HERE, ISN'T THAT SCARY???

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Anon is a war economy enjoyer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)20:39:51 No.595677505 MGR -_Best_of_Sundowner_0-14_screenshot[1].jpg| 35 KB JPG >Metal gear solid >"War is bad and you should feel bad for it" >Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance >"War is based because it allows the good to defend what is right, all of the excuses Japan makes about pacifism is just that, an excuse, Japan should re-arm to prepare for the new centaury" How did they get away with this?
: Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)20:39:51 No.595677505 MGR -_Best_of_Sundowner_0-14_screenshot[1].jpg| 35 KB JPG >Metal gear solid >"War is bad and you should feel bad for it" >Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance >"War is based because it allows the good to defend what is right, all of the excuses Japan makes about pacifism is just that, an excuse, Japan should re-arm to prepare for the new centaury" How did they get away with this?

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Anon gets a phone call | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)08:48:19 No.68540690 >laying in bed >suddenly get a phone call but it only rings once >most likely a wrong number that realized they dialed wrong hence the 1 ring >the call is from a female name 48 KB JPG >wait a few minutes to make it seem like I wasn't around to hear the 1 ring and to call the number back since I'm so lonely and desperate for a human connection outside my family and various cashiers from local stores >call the number, they don't answer >what would have been a small inconsequential 15 second conversation about them being sorry and calling the wrong number and me saying it's no problem; have a good night would have the highlight of my night if they had a nice feminine voice, and would have been the highlight of my entire day had I not found that quarter on the floor earlier end of greentext
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)08:48:19 No.68540690 >laying in bed >suddenly get a phone call but it only rings once >most likely a wrong number that realized they dialed wrong hence the 1 ring >the call is from a female name 48 KB JPG >wait a few minutes to make it seem like I wasn't around to hear the 1 ring and to call the number back since I'm so lonely and desperate for a human connection outside my family and various cashiers from local stores >call the number, they don't answer >what would have been a small inconsequential 15 second conversation about them being sorry and calling the wrong number and me saying it's no problem; have a good night would have the highlight of my night if they had a nice feminine voice, and would have been the highlight of my entire day had I not found that quarter on the floor earlier end of greentext

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Anon's Mom doesn't discriminate | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous I-1 09/05/20(Sat)01:11:33 No.129919342 File: 1599187904873.jpg (54 KB, 908x666) >Mom found my gigachad folder >Says she saw a folder of buff half naked guys on my computer and asks if I'm gay
O Anonymous I-1 09/05/20(Sat)01:11:33 No.129919342 File: 1599187904873.jpg (54 KB, 908x666) >Mom found my gigachad folder >Says she saw a folder of buff half naked guys on my computer and asks if I'm gay

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Anon discovered cicidas | /r/Greentext


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False idolatry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)06:34:36 No.68542191 >be in highschool >be in "who's your idol?" class activity >"who's your idol anon?" >"Hatsune Miku" >"f------ weeb" some chads behind chuckle 27 KB JPG >teacher turns to class thot >"who's your idol Anette?" >"Ching Chong Ping Pong" or something related to Крор >all of girls in class start howling like a pack of wolves why life must be this cruel?
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)06:34:36 No.68542191 >be in highschool >be in "who's your idol?" class activity >"who's your idol anon?" >"Hatsune Miku" >"f------ weeb" some chads behind chuckle 27 KB JPG >teacher turns to class thot >"who's your idol Anette?" >"Ching Chong Ping Pong" or something related to Крор >all of girls in class start howling like a pack of wolves why life must be this cruel?

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Anon writes a poem | /r/Greentext

2h (5/8 8:30) · 68538608 32 Re · 4 Img · JPG · 461KB · (1085 × 877) 10 Replies "Despite", A Poem in Five Lines >lf a woman ever does love me, she will love me despite me >She will love me despite how ugly I am, and think herself better than other women for not being so concerned about looks >She will love me despite how poor I am, and think herself independent for not needing a rich man to take care of her >She will love me despite how depressed I am, and think herself a good person for taking care of one so in need >All this to say, that no woman will ever love me 2h (5/8 8:50) · 68538819 1 Reply >>68538608 (OP) This doesnt rhyme at all. What a s----- poem. •..
2h (5/8 8:30) · 68538608 32 Re · 4 Img · JPG · 461KB · (1085 × 877) 10 Replies "Despite", A Poem in Five Lines >lf a woman ever does love me, she will love me despite me >She will love me despite how ugly I am, and think herself better than other women for not being so concerned about looks >She will love me despite how poor I am, and think herself independent for not needing a rich man to take care of her >She will love me despite how depressed I am, and think herself a good person for taking care of one so in need >All this to say, that no woman will ever love me 2h (5/8 8:50) · 68538819 1 Reply >>68538608 (OP) This doesnt rhyme at all. What a s----- poem. •..

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Anon owns chickens | /r/Greentext

Rooster learns its place in the universe Rooster learns its place in th(...) 07/17/21(Sat)11:02:17 No.3867769 >be me >putting out old tortilla scraps to feed to my subjects >they are grateful before their god, the eggs will be bountiful this moon >take a break from providing for my helpless worshippers to pee 170 KB PNG >cocky alpha rooster attempts to challenge its god >strikes at me with its foot >does nothing, like a little bitch, only able to get dirt and chicken s--- on my shoe >ohshit.jpg >stands tall, intimidating it with my godlike aura, and terrifies the puny mortal by kicking the air near it >runs in fear to the other chickens, who laugh at its godlessness >demoted to beta >as it's running towards them I throw a stick at it, which strikes, further humiliating beta rooster >leave I am a merciful god, but when my authority is disrespected, my subjects will know my wrath.
Rooster learns its place in the universe Rooster learns its place in th(...) 07/17/21(Sat)11:02:17 No.3867769 >be me >putting out old tortilla scraps to feed to my subjects >they are grateful before their god, the eggs will be bountiful this moon >take a break from providing for my helpless worshippers to pee 170 KB PNG >cocky alpha rooster attempts to challenge its god >strikes at me with its foot >does nothing, like a little bitch, only able to get dirt and chicken s--- on my shoe >ohshit.jpg >stands tall, intimidating it with my godlike aura, and terrifies the puny mortal by kicking the air near it >runs in fear to the other chickens, who laugh at its godlessness >demoted to beta >as it's running towards them I throw a stick at it, which strikes, further humiliating beta rooster >leave I am a merciful god, but when my authority is disrespected, my subjects will know my wrath.

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Anon is worried | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I'm worried about my friend 05/08/22(Sun)03:00:54 No.167709581 Gender dysphoria should be treated, not encouraged. The blood of thousands of people who committed suicide is on the hands of sickos who refused to give them proper treatment and instead wanted to run a social experiment. 11 KB JPG You're beautiful just the way you were born. Always remember that. It's okay to be a feminine man, it's okay to be a masculine woman. You're healthy, nature didn't make a mistake. Celebrate who you are.
: Anonymous I'm worried about my friend 05/08/22(Sun)03:00:54 No.167709581 Gender dysphoria should be treated, not encouraged. The blood of thousands of people who committed suicide is on the hands of sickos who refused to give them proper treatment and instead wanted to run a social experiment. 11 KB JPG You're beautiful just the way you were born. Always remember that. It's okay to be a feminine man, it's okay to be a masculine woman. You're healthy, nature didn't make a mistake. Celebrate who you are.

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Anon touches grass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)18:03:23 No.877759181 1637247439088.png 1.92 MB PNG >be me >Bored at home >Call all my friends for a walk >No one wants >No problem, I will go alone >Dress properly >Buy a energy drink >Sit near a park >nice weather >Feeling good /b/ros Don't be afraid to do things alone
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)18:03:23 No.877759181 1637247439088.png 1.92 MB PNG >be me >Bored at home >Call all my friends for a walk >No one wants >No problem, I will go alone >Dress properly >Buy a energy drink >Sit near a park >nice weather >Feeling good /b/ros Don't be afraid to do things alone

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Anon has Spiderman cum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/22(Wed)03:39:48 No.877001801 I have spiderman c--. >be me >cooms >normal j--- comes out >wipe away >afterwards I slowly pull a leftover string of c-- out of my d--- hole 114 KB PNG >it can get really long >l can feel it coming out of my urethra >wet_noodle.mov >mfw >it's really stretchy and is definitely a solid but can still break easily >lf I wrap it between my index fingers it can support the weight of my hand >mfw I have my own web shooter formula >mfw I probably have f----- up sperm so l'm probably sterile and don't have to worry about knocking some w---- up >My length record is my entire arm span | Is this normal? My friend suggested I try swinging from a building with it.
: Anonymous 04/27/22(Wed)03:39:48 No.877001801 I have spiderman c--. >be me >cooms >normal j--- comes out >wipe away >afterwards I slowly pull a leftover string of c-- out of my d--- hole 114 KB PNG >it can get really long >l can feel it coming out of my urethra >wet_noodle.mov >mfw >it's really stretchy and is definitely a solid but can still break easily >lf I wrap it between my index fingers it can support the weight of my hand >mfw I have my own web shooter formula >mfw I probably have f----- up sperm so l'm probably sterile and don't have to worry about knocking some w---- up >My length record is my entire arm span | Is this normal? My friend suggested I try swinging from a building with it.

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Anon is superior | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)15:39:32 No.877752590 >Being me >My first relationship >She asks me what our wedding would be like >l tell her l'd like it to be Dark Souls 2 themed >Have the most beautiful wedding you could imagine 125 KB JPG >win the lottery >Have like 20 kids >Live the rest of our lives without sorrow feeling happy and fulfilled, thanking god everyday for not making me a bloodborne fan
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)15:39:32 No.877752590 >Being me >My first relationship >She asks me what our wedding would be like >l tell her l'd like it to be Dark Souls 2 themed >Have the most beautiful wedding you could imagine 125 KB JPG >win the lottery >Have like 20 kids >Live the rest of our lives without sorrow feeling happy and fulfilled, thanking god everyday for not making me a bloodborne fan

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Anon has a dilemma. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)10:15:21 No.68543545 >can't get money without a job >can't get to a job without transportation >can't get a means of transportation without money >parents refuse to help How does one escape this exactly? 98 KB GIF
Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)10:15:21 No.68543545 >can't get money without a job >can't get to a job without transportation >can't get a means of transportation without money >parents refuse to help How does one escape this exactly? 98 KB GIF

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Anon adapts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)02:05:34 No.877714695 >hit it off with gf >date couple of months >gf confesses she's a t----- >break up >use acquired dating experience to get real p---- >profit 11 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)02:05:34 No.877714695 >hit it off with gf >date couple of months >gf confesses she's a t----- >break up >use acquired dating experience to get real p---- >profit 11 KB JPG

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Anon listens to The Call ofChtulu | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)23:21:09 No.66807627 >be me >huge weeb >out of anime to watch and bored out of my mind >youtube recomened meThe Call of Chtulu's audiobook >it has a slow start but I decided 17 KB PNG to keep listening to it because I have nothing better to do >wft halfway through it and it has a better mystery than any anime >story end >litteraly coolest s--- ever >suddenly I start crying >tfw i realized that not only is anime is garbage and the normies were right but I have wasted half of my life being addicted to it
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)23:21:09 No.66807627 >be me >huge weeb >out of anime to watch and bored out of my mind >youtube recomened meThe Call of Chtulu's audiobook >it has a slow start but I decided 17 KB PNG to keep listening to it because I have nothing better to do >wft halfway through it and it has a better mystery than any anime >story end >litteraly coolest s--- ever >suddenly I start crying >tfw i realized that not only is anime is garbage and the normies were right but I have wasted half of my life being addicted to it

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Anon runs a minecraft server | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)23:26:24 No.68538874 >Be me in highschool >Freshman Year >Kinda chubby, but have lots of friends and talk to girls >lose weight, sophomore year I look way better >roastie started talking to me as a friend, had a BF at the time though 13 KB PNG >roastie breaks up with BF, ask her out, gets rejected >roastie graduates early, and senior year I just kind of fly under the radar until I graduate >FFW 2 years, same roastie hits me up on snapchat, we go on a few dates, after 3rd date she ends up rejecting me when I mention a relationship >come to realize that I dodged a bullet >went on dates with several roasties, realize i dodged bullets and everytime they rejected me, they did me a favor >started a business, I run a minecraft server as my main source of income and do various other side hussles >make 50k/month as a college student >mentioned it on my snapchat story, now got tons of roasties in my DM's >left them all on read Feelsgoodman
: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)23:26:24 No.68538874 >Be me in highschool >Freshman Year >Kinda chubby, but have lots of friends and talk to girls >lose weight, sophomore year I look way better >roastie started talking to me as a friend, had a BF at the time though 13 KB PNG >roastie breaks up with BF, ask her out, gets rejected >roastie graduates early, and senior year I just kind of fly under the radar until I graduate >FFW 2 years, same roastie hits me up on snapchat, we go on a few dates, after 3rd date she ends up rejecting me when I mention a relationship >come to realize that I dodged a bullet >went on dates with several roasties, realize i dodged bullets and everytime they rejected me, they did me a favor >started a business, I run a minecraft server as my main source of income and do various other side hussles >make 50k/month as a college student >mentioned it on my snapchat story, now got tons of roasties in my DM's >left them all on read Feelsgoodman

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Anon makes a Tinder bot. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I made a tinder bot 05/08/22(Sun)05:03:53 No.68541693 >be me >software engineer by trade >doing nofap for 4 months >been improooving for the past year or so >get really horny >decide to make tinder and bumble bot to swipe right on everyone so I can just go through my matches 53 KB JPG >it was super easy to make >all it does is use selenium and presses the right arrow key every 2 seconds >do heavy research on the best profile based off of data from other guys >have some decent pictures of myself posted >I have the perfect profile backed by data and a b split tests >buy bumble and tinder premium or whatever its called for a month so I get unlimited likes >its ready >run that script all night >next morning >20 matches >ok not too bad but I guess I expected more >see profiles of girls I matched with >bassboostedvineboom.mp4 >ITS ALL FAT BITCHES AND TRANNIES >NOT ONE ATTRACTIVE GIRL >one they them called me handsome though which made me feel good >still hate trannies though Bros I am so p-----. I have been putting a lot of work into myself lately in every area of my life and these fat whales that call themselves women and think they can get with me. Its actually f------ over bros
Anonymous I made a tinder bot 05/08/22(Sun)05:03:53 No.68541693 >be me >software engineer by trade >doing nofap for 4 months >been improooving for the past year or so >get really horny >decide to make tinder and bumble bot to swipe right on everyone so I can just go through my matches 53 KB JPG >it was super easy to make >all it does is use selenium and presses the right arrow key every 2 seconds >do heavy research on the best profile based off of data from other guys >have some decent pictures of myself posted >I have the perfect profile backed by data and a b split tests >buy bumble and tinder premium or whatever its called for a month so I get unlimited likes >its ready >run that script all night >next morning >20 matches >ok not too bad but I guess I expected more >see profiles of girls I matched with >bassboostedvineboom.mp4 >ITS ALL FAT BITCHES AND TRANNIES >NOT ONE ATTRACTIVE GIRL >one they them called me handsome though which made me feel good >still hate trannies though Bros I am so p-----. I have been putting a lot of work into myself lately in every area of my life and these fat whales that call themselves women and think they can get with me. Its actually f------ over bros

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Anon hates family time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)14:46:10 No.68542943 >be me >teenager >hated family time >come up with a plan: every time there would be a gathering (mother's day, someone's birthday, etc) I didn't sleep the night before >Spent family time in zombie mode, just 105 KB PNG thinking about wanting to zzz >Don't remember my parents arguing and s--- cause of it am i a genius or not?
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)14:46:10 No.68542943 >be me >teenager >hated family time >come up with a plan: every time there would be a gathering (mother's day, someone's birthday, etc) I didn't sleep the night before >Spent family time in zombie mode, just 105 KB PNG thinking about wanting to zzz >Don't remember my parents arguing and s--- cause of it am i a genius or not?

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i dated a girl who only wanted that from me :( | /r/Greentext

File : 1316563166.jpg-(26 KB, 270x311, batbaby.jpg) O Anonymous 09/20/11(Tue)19:59:26 No.354435407 >if I was a girl >get married to a tard >have kids till one is tard >name him Tartuffe Cedric-Balthazar Mephistopheles IV >divorce tard husband >leave normal kids with him >clothe kid in nothing but bat suits >dress in bat suits also >convince him we are bat-people >teach him the ways of the bat >homeschool during bat indoctrination >senior year >put him into public school >18 year old tard kid in bat suit running around screeching at people >???????
File : 1316563166.jpg-(26 KB, 270x311, batbaby.jpg) O Anonymous 09/20/11(Tue)19:59:26 No.354435407 >if I was a girl >get married to a tard >have kids till one is tard >name him Tartuffe Cedric-Balthazar Mephistopheles IV >divorce tard husband >leave normal kids with him >clothe kid in nothing but bat suits >dress in bat suits also >convince him we are bat-people >teach him the ways of the bat >homeschool during bat indoctrination >senior year >put him into public school >18 year old tard kid in bat suit running around screeching at people >???????

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