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Anon makes a Tinder bot. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I made a tinder bot 05/08/22(Sun)05:03:53 No.68541693 >be me >software engineer by trade >doing nofap for 4 months >been improooving for the past year or so >get really horny >decide to make tinder and bumble bot to swipe right on everyone so I can just go through my matches 53 KB JPG >it was super easy to make >all it does is use selenium and presses the right arrow key every 2 seconds >do heavy research on the best profile based off of data from other guys >have some decent pictures of myself posted >I have the perfect profile backed by data and a b split tests >buy bumble and tinder premium or whatever its called for a month so I get unlimited likes >its ready >run that script all night >next morning >20 matches >ok not too bad but I guess I expected more >see profiles of girls I matched with >bassboostedvineboom.mp4 >ITS ALL FAT BITCHES AND TRANNIES >NOT ONE ATTRACTIVE GIRL >one they them called me handsome though which made me feel good >still hate trannies though Bros I am so p-----. I have been putting a lot of work into myself lately in every area of my life and these fat whales that call themselves women and think they can get with me. Its actually f------ over bros
Anonymous I made a tinder bot 05/08/22(Sun)05:03:53 No.68541693 >be me >software engineer by trade >doing nofap for 4 months >been improooving for the past year or so >get really horny >decide to make tinder and bumble bot to swipe right on everyone so I can just go through my matches 53 KB JPG >it was super easy to make >all it does is use selenium and presses the right arrow key every 2 seconds >do heavy research on the best profile based off of data from other guys >have some decent pictures of myself posted >I have the perfect profile backed by data and a b split tests >buy bumble and tinder premium or whatever its called for a month so I get unlimited likes >its ready >run that script all night >next morning >20 matches >ok not too bad but I guess I expected more >see profiles of girls I matched with >bassboostedvineboom.mp4 >ITS ALL FAT BITCHES AND TRANNIES >NOT ONE ATTRACTIVE GIRL >one they them called me handsome though which made me feel good >still hate trannies though Bros I am so p-----. I have been putting a lot of work into myself lately in every area of my life and these fat whales that call themselves women and think they can get with me. Its actually f------ over bros

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Anon hates family time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)14:46:10 No.68542943 >be me >teenager >hated family time >come up with a plan: every time there would be a gathering (mother's day, someone's birthday, etc) I didn't sleep the night before >Spent family time in zombie mode, just 105 KB PNG thinking about wanting to zzz >Don't remember my parents arguing and s--- cause of it am i a genius or not?
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)14:46:10 No.68542943 >be me >teenager >hated family time >come up with a plan: every time there would be a gathering (mother's day, someone's birthday, etc) I didn't sleep the night before >Spent family time in zombie mode, just 105 KB PNG thinking about wanting to zzz >Don't remember my parents arguing and s--- cause of it am i a genius or not?

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i dated a girl who only wanted that from me :( | /r/Greentext

File : 1316563166.jpg-(26 KB, 270x311, batbaby.jpg) O Anonymous 09/20/11(Tue)19:59:26 No.354435407 >if I was a girl >get married to a tard >have kids till one is tard >name him Tartuffe Cedric-Balthazar Mephistopheles IV >divorce tard husband >leave normal kids with him >clothe kid in nothing but bat suits >dress in bat suits also >convince him we are bat-people >teach him the ways of the bat >homeschool during bat indoctrination >senior year >put him into public school >18 year old tard kid in bat suit running around screeching at people >???????
File : 1316563166.jpg-(26 KB, 270x311, batbaby.jpg) O Anonymous 09/20/11(Tue)19:59:26 No.354435407 >if I was a girl >get married to a tard >have kids till one is tard >name him Tartuffe Cedric-Balthazar Mephistopheles IV >divorce tard husband >leave normal kids with him >clothe kid in nothing but bat suits >dress in bat suits also >convince him we are bat-people >teach him the ways of the bat >homeschool during bat indoctrination >senior year >put him into public school >18 year old tard kid in bat suit running around screeching at people >???????

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Anon decides to be better | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)11:27:20 No.877744198 >Being me >My first relationship >She asks me what our wedding would be like >l tell her l'd like it to be Bloodborne themed >We break up >l guess there won't be a wedding 499 KB JPG >I see her pictures with her new boyfriend >She likes to cosplay with him >He is taller than me and she looks happier by his side >l don't give up and decide to continue being a good hunter
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)11:27:20 No.877744198 >Being me >My first relationship >She asks me what our wedding would be like >l tell her l'd like it to be Bloodborne themed >We break up >l guess there won't be a wedding 499 KB JPG >I see her pictures with her new boyfriend >She likes to cosplay with him >He is taller than me and she looks happier by his side >l don't give up and decide to continue being a good hunter

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Anon is a frogposter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)18:54:51 No.61363850 >l post the frog >they see the frog and get mad >they say mean things to me >l get sad >i want to feel happy again >frog makes me happy >l post the frog 61 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)18:54:51 No.61363850 >l post the frog >they see the frog and get mad >they say mean things to me >l get sad >i want to feel happy again >frog makes me happy >l post the frog 61 KB JPG

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Anon remembers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)18:53:38 No.877719649 This whole Russia situation has reminded of an experience I had some time ago >be me a couple weeks before the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing 69 KB JPG >make a meme about Russian athletes injecting themselves with drugs in preparation for the Olympics >post it onto two separate subreddits (r/whenthe & r/dankvideos) >both posts become relatively popular >the top comment under one of them is "it looks like propaganda is strong on Reddit today boys." >other people in the comments agree and say that Russian athletes don't dope, even though they definitely have in past Olympic games >mods from both subreddits remove both posts (they never gave me a reason why) >later on the Winter Olympics happen >halfway through the Olympics, a Russian figure skater gets caught using a performance-enhancing drug, and she starts a whole doping scandal as a result >mfw I look back & realize I was right the whole time
: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)18:53:38 No.877719649 This whole Russia situation has reminded of an experience I had some time ago >be me a couple weeks before the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing 69 KB JPG >make a meme about Russian athletes injecting themselves with drugs in preparation for the Olympics >post it onto two separate subreddits (r/whenthe & r/dankvideos) >both posts become relatively popular >the top comment under one of them is "it looks like propaganda is strong on Reddit today boys." >other people in the comments agree and say that Russian athletes don't dope, even though they definitely have in past Olympic games >mods from both subreddits remove both posts (they never gave me a reason why) >later on the Winter Olympics happen >halfway through the Olympics, a Russian figure skater gets caught using a performance-enhancing drug, and she starts a whole doping scandal as a result >mfw I look back & realize I was right the whole time

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anon is doing great | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 21 minutes ago 877705804 > Be me, 24 (m) virgin, living with parents > Working part time at cinema, sweeping popcorn > No goals or aspirations > Get sick of having no money > Start Applying for jobs > Any job > Apply for a job at a jewellers despite having zero interest in jewellery > Get an interview > They actually like me > H--------, got the job > Ffw 3 years > Have an amazing gf, my own flat in nice neighbourhood > Educated myself on luxury watches > F------ love watches now > Had an interview for a watch repair job with a much higher pay > Very excited to hear back from them any day now > Mfw, feels like I'm making something of myself 5 REPLIES
Anonymous 21 minutes ago 877705804 > Be me, 24 (m) virgin, living with parents > Working part time at cinema, sweeping popcorn > No goals or aspirations > Get sick of having no money > Start Applying for jobs > Any job > Apply for a job at a jewellers despite having zero interest in jewellery > Get an interview > They actually like me > H--------, got the job > Ffw 3 years > Have an amazing gf, my own flat in nice neighbourhood > Educated myself on luxury watches > F------ love watches now > Had an interview for a watch repair job with a much higher pay > Very excited to hear back from them any day now > Mfw, feels like I'm making something of myself 5 REPLIES

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Quirky Title | /r/Greentext

File: CB57E14F-BB33-46A2-954F-1(...).jpg (33 KB, 800x450) Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)23:16:58 No.877707085 >>877707126 >talking with my left wing brother >topic shifts to race >tell him at the end of the day all humans just want to be happy and free of worries >he calls me a racist for grouping black people in the same category as white people when blacks have contributed to America far more than whites ever will >mfw
File: CB57E14F-BB33-46A2-954F-1(...).jpg (33 KB, 800x450) Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)23:16:58 No.877707085 >>877707126 >talking with my left wing brother >topic shifts to race >tell him at the end of the day all humans just want to be happy and free of worries >he calls me a racist for grouping black people in the same category as white people when blacks have contributed to America far more than whites ever will >mfw

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Another one bites the pillow | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)08:35:36 No.68529524 >be straight >be coomer >get brainwashed by r9k into trying prostate stuff >6 months later ABSOLUTELY HARAM >sitting here in a skirt and thigh highs f--- this board for turning me into 85 KB JPG a f--
: Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)08:35:36 No.68529524 >be straight >be coomer >get brainwashed by r9k into trying prostate stuff >6 months later ABSOLUTELY HARAM >sitting here in a skirt and thigh highs f--- this board for turning me into 85 KB JPG a f--

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Anon schizos his way out of hunger | /r/Greentext

spencerthespacer-deactivated202 : Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)02:10:51 No.65577668 >late at night >craving a Wendy's burger >not even hungry, I know I'll only take a few bites and throw the rest away >I like the idea of eating a Wendy's burger, but not so much the reality 345 KB GIF of paying for something I won't eat >decide to just picture the burger instead >vividly picture platonic form of Wendy's burger >it's perfect, they can't possibly f--- up the order because it's in my mind >imagine eating the burger bite by bite >I finish >feel better, no more craving What the f--- is wrong with me james-harmony Follow #capitalism O burger tulpa 1
spencerthespacer-deactivated202 : Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)02:10:51 No.65577668 >late at night >craving a Wendy's burger >not even hungry, I know I'll only take a few bites and throw the rest away >I like the idea of eating a Wendy's burger, but not so much the reality 345 KB GIF of paying for something I won't eat >decide to just picture the burger instead >vividly picture platonic form of Wendy's burger >it's perfect, they can't possibly f--- up the order because it's in my mind >imagine eating the burger bite by bite >I finish >feel better, no more craving What the f--- is wrong with me james-harmony Follow #capitalism O burger tulpa 1

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Anon joins the space force | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/05/19(Mon)07:34:34 No.806369057 >Be me >Always wanted to be an astronaut >Think "if I train real hard l'll be one someday" >Train real hard >Learn physics and s--- >Eventually work my way up to the 1.02 MB PNG space program >Tfw finally accepted into the space force with highest honors >Onwards, where no man has gone before! >All of a sudden the program is cancelled >Demand to know why >"Sorry anon, we decided to hire a gang of amphibious creatures to fight for us on other planets instead" >mfw I read the first letter of each sentence
: Anonymous 08/05/19(Mon)07:34:34 No.806369057 >Be me >Always wanted to be an astronaut >Think "if I train real hard l'll be one someday" >Train real hard >Learn physics and s--- >Eventually work my way up to the 1.02 MB PNG space program >Tfw finally accepted into the space force with highest honors >Onwards, where no man has gone before! >All of a sudden the program is cancelled >Demand to know why >"Sorry anon, we decided to hire a gang of amphibious creatures to fight for us on other planets instead" >mfw I read the first letter of each sentence

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Murica!!!! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)00:15:05 No.53328488 Why can't Americans lose weight? 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)00:15:57 No.53328504 >>53328488 Losing weight involves losing. Americans never lose
: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)00:15:05 No.53328488 Why can't Americans lose weight? 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)00:15:57 No.53328504 >>53328488 Losing weight involves losing. Americans never lose

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Anon is unsure | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)00:23:50 No.877709910 >be me >homophobic and transphobic >also me >fantasizing about being a cute girl before going to sleep W-- is my problem 728 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)00:23:50 No.877709910 >be me >homophobic and transphobic >also me >fantasizing about being a cute girl before going to sleep W-- is my problem 728 KB PNG

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Anon is arab | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/19(Sat)21:52:09 No.794583614 >be me >arab >go to 4chan >"you're a s--------- terrorist and should be killed" >go to buzzfeed >"you're sexist bigoted homophobe 211 KB PNG and should be killed" >go to Saudi Arabia >"you're a sinner and should be killed" >mfw
: Anonymous 03/09/19(Sat)21:52:09 No.794583614 >be me >arab >go to 4chan >"you're a s--------- terrorist and should be killed" >go to buzzfeed >"you're sexist bigoted homophobe 211 KB PNG and should be killed" >go to Saudi Arabia >"you're a sinner and should be killed" >mfw

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Anon loses his dignity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)01:40:45 No.68535773 >>68515702 (OP) # >hanging out with group of people I don't know very well >one of them asks about my scars >try to change the subject, but she persists >starts making obviously wrong guesses >did I fall off a bike, is it a sports injury, is it from rock climbing, etc >eventually snap and say I did them to myself >she says "You mean you blame yourself, because if you were better at riding a bike you wouldn't have fallen off?" >"No, I mean literally cut them into my arm with a knife" >she pauses and gives me a disgusted look >"Yeah, obviously. I was trying to give you an easy out to save your dignity" Bitch, if you care so much about "saving my dignity", why did you ask in the first place?
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)01:40:45 No.68535773 >>68515702 (OP) # >hanging out with group of people I don't know very well >one of them asks about my scars >try to change the subject, but she persists >starts making obviously wrong guesses >did I fall off a bike, is it a sports injury, is it from rock climbing, etc >eventually snap and say I did them to myself >she says "You mean you blame yourself, because if you were better at riding a bike you wouldn't have fallen off?" >"No, I mean literally cut them into my arm with a knife" >she pauses and gives me a disgusted look >"Yeah, obviously. I was trying to give you an easy out to save your dignity" Bitch, if you care so much about "saving my dignity", why did you ask in the first place?

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Anon has a cool family | /r/Greentext

File: OFF4F010-88F4-4A19-8ECF-3EFE16FBC612.gif (663 KB, 220x212) Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)01:59:49 No.877673370 [Reply] ► >>877677189 There's not really a place to share this so I'm posting it here cause I still wanna tell someone >22 >just graduated college with a degree in film >never shared anything I worked on to parents because I was scared they wouldn't like it and think the degree was a waste of money >worked on a movie that ended up on a streaming service >tell them about it, still scared >dad calls hours after it's released saying they watched it >they sound really happy >2 days later he calls again saying he's watched it 4 times to make it to the credits and see my name >sends photos of his relatives that live across the country watching it and pointing at my name in the credits I dunno how to explain it but it just feels good to have the support I didn't know if l'd get, you know? Have a good one guys
File: OFF4F010-88F4-4A19-8ECF-3EFE16FBC612.gif (663 KB, 220x212) Anonymous 05/07/22(Sat)01:59:49 No.877673370 [Reply] ► >>877677189 There's not really a place to share this so I'm posting it here cause I still wanna tell someone >22 >just graduated college with a degree in film >never shared anything I worked on to parents because I was scared they wouldn't like it and think the degree was a waste of money >worked on a movie that ended up on a streaming service >tell them about it, still scared >dad calls hours after it's released saying they watched it >they sound really happy >2 days later he calls again saying he's watched it 4 times to make it to the credits and see my name >sends photos of his relatives that live across the country watching it and pointing at my name in the credits I dunno how to explain it but it just feels good to have the support I didn't know if l'd get, you know? Have a good one guys

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Anon works at McDonald’s | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden •.. story time CHICHEN appy mel 399ANOW >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN MCNUGGETS AN EXCELLENT HAPPI >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden •.. story time CHICHEN appy mel 399ANOW >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN MCNUGGETS AN EXCELLENT HAPPI >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Cinderella story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I can't stand my fat sister(...) 05/07/22(Sat)14:58:47 No.68533027 >5'10 at 145 lbs, female >work out and eat healthy >put a lot of effort into my body the last 4 years >aspire to be muscle mommy, to crush mens balls between my thighs and biceps for their 12 KB PNG pleasure >just a bit lean w/ good thighs for now, the grind for gains soon to start >proceeds to get called anorexic by my fat sister >same f----- who used to call me a fat lard when I was one, motivating me to health purely for me trying to spite her >kicker is she was the sorority girl skinny bitch and the past few years Ive watched her gain pounds >now I am apparently "too skinny" and a skeleton This bitch is near a foot shorter and heavier than me. It's 100% out of jealousy, its every f------ time I see her she claims wont eat food and am starving myself, despite eating completely normal for your average athletic joe. I can't stand this bitch.
: Anonymous I can't stand my fat sister(...) 05/07/22(Sat)14:58:47 No.68533027 >5'10 at 145 lbs, female >work out and eat healthy >put a lot of effort into my body the last 4 years >aspire to be muscle mommy, to crush mens balls between my thighs and biceps for their 12 KB PNG pleasure >just a bit lean w/ good thighs for now, the grind for gains soon to start >proceeds to get called anorexic by my fat sister >same f----- who used to call me a fat lard when I was one, motivating me to health purely for me trying to spite her >kicker is she was the sorority girl skinny bitch and the past few years Ive watched her gain pounds >now I am apparently "too skinny" and a skeleton This bitch is near a foot shorter and heavier than me. It's 100% out of jealousy, its every f------ time I see her she claims wont eat food and am starving myself, despite eating completely normal for your average athletic joe. I can't stand this bitch.

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anon can’t win | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: dUl+UFhw ) 12/11/20(Fri)23:54:41 No.24749979 >get job >virus hits >lose job >get job fighting virus >virus cured >lose job 1.33 MB PNG : Anonymous (ID: CKKQ2+zd 12/11/20(Fri)23:56:03 No.24749995 >>24749979 (OP) # Imao he thinks there's a virus
: Anonymous (ID: dUl+UFhw ) 12/11/20(Fri)23:54:41 No.24749979 >get job >virus hits >lose job >get job fighting virus >virus cured >lose job 1.33 MB PNG : Anonymous (ID: CKKQ2+zd 12/11/20(Fri)23:56:03 No.24749995 >>24749979 (OP) # Imao he thinks there's a virus

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Anon wants a manly man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)18:25:44 No.68145490 >tfw I want a bf who's bigger than me and has a d--- that makes mine look small in comparison >6ft tall with a 7 inch c--- and masculine faces It's not gonna happen bros l'm gonna have to settle for a w*man 81 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)18:25:44 No.68145490 >tfw I want a bf who's bigger than me and has a d--- that makes mine look small in comparison >6ft tall with a 7 inch c--- and masculine faces It's not gonna happen bros l'm gonna have to settle for a w*man 81 KB JPG

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