Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

he is too far gone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)04:27:56 No.65818129 >There's people in this world that can get off to like bikini pics and don't have to watch Japanese business women kick a guy in the nuts to get off 16 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)04:27:56 No.65818129 >There's people in this world that can get off to like bikini pics and don't have to watch Japanese business women kick a guy in the nuts to get off 16 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext skin product organism rectangle font

Anon isnt survivalpilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)15:31:35 No.877563391 36880125-9924-4D14-BEF6-157A0FACB2B3.png 345 KB PNG Ok urgent situation anons I need your help. Especially if you are survivalpilled > be me > 20, virgin, finally get girlfriend > after one week she wants to sleep at my place >I live with my parents and the house is full this weekend > I want to finally get laid so invited her to my summer cottage in the forest > I checked temperature at this weekend and it will be around 10 celsius at the night so around 8 celsius in the cottage during night > mfw there is no electricity at the cottage > mfw there's no heating So can we survive it anons? Like how many blankets will we need? I am really nervous that we gonna die
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)15:31:35 No.877563391 36880125-9924-4D14-BEF6-157A0FACB2B3.png 345 KB PNG Ok urgent situation anons I need your help. Especially if you are survivalpilled > be me > 20, virgin, finally get girlfriend > after one week she wants to sleep at my place >I live with my parents and the house is full this weekend > I want to finally get laid so invited her to my summer cottage in the forest > I checked temperature at this weekend and it will be around 10 celsius at the night so around 8 celsius in the cottage during night > mfw there is no electricity at the cottage > mfw there's no heating So can we survive it anons? Like how many blankets will we need? I am really nervous that we gonna die

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant

Anon plays himself | /r/Greentext

Damaged >mom asks what fast food I want >say mcdonalds >actually want kfc Imao stupid bitch
Damaged >mom asks what fast food I want >say mcdonalds >actually want kfc Imao stupid bitch

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext facial expression mouth jaw organism art font

Why yes, I am a Millenial. How could you tell? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >Sol was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #
: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >Sol was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

You thought | /r/Greentext

>be elected President with under 50% of the popular vote >be most unpopular president in American history >have almost no political experience >be called radical, funny-looking 47 KB JPG buffoonish moron >fail major debates (according to the press) >Democrats threaten secession nationwide >riots kick off in major cities across country >see approval rating fall below 35-40% almost immediately >get called fascist nutjob and tyrant by all the press >watch as nation erupts into frenzied political violence and chaos between fringe factions >be President Abraham Lincoln >pic unrelated
>be elected President with under 50% of the popular vote >be most unpopular president in American history >have almost no political experience >be called radical, funny-looking 47 KB JPG buffoonish moron >fail major debates (according to the press) >Democrats threaten secession nationwide >riots kick off in major cities across country >see approval rating fall below 35-40% almost immediately >get called fascist nutjob and tyrant by all the press >watch as nation erupts into frenzied political violence and chaos between fringe factions >be President Abraham Lincoln >pic unrelated

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon attempts cooking | /r/Greentext

times you've f----- up? Il begin: >be me >greekfag, 14 yo >went to my uncles place for some PS2 action 15 KB JPG >playing TY the tasmanian tiger >get hungry >idea: ill cook some fries >what could possibly go wrong >put some oil >leave it >go back to playing >remember about it 2 hours later >s--- >this m----------- is hot as s--- >decide to throw in a test potato >grab the potato >keep a good distance away from the oil (genius idea) >three-point shoot that m----------- inside the oil >the potato instantly becomes enough smoke to make me unable to see and hotbox the f------ apartment >oh f---.mp5 >quickly get the oil off heat >mom sees smoke coming out of window >thinks i've burned alive >calls fire department >fire department breaks down door >they see a retarded kid crying next to some potatoes >mfw
times you've f----- up? Il begin: >be me >greekfag, 14 yo >went to my uncles place for some PS2 action 15 KB JPG >playing TY the tasmanian tiger >get hungry >idea: ill cook some fries >what could possibly go wrong >put some oil >leave it >go back to playing >remember about it 2 hours later >s--- >this m----------- is hot as s--- >decide to throw in a test potato >grab the potato >keep a good distance away from the oil (genius idea) >three-point shoot that m----------- inside the oil >the potato instantly becomes enough smoke to make me unable to see and hotbox the f------ apartment >oh f---.mp5 >quickly get the oil off heat >mom sees smoke coming out of window >thinks i've burned alive >calls fire department >fire department breaks down door >they see a retarded kid crying next to some potatoes >mfw

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon becomes gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:03:10 No.792689080 Got back from weird Valentine's date. >be me. 5'4" 103lb straight guy >forever alone in 93 KB JPG "friendzone" because of my size >6'4" bear at work says he'll take me out for dinner because he can tell I'm down. >fast forward end of night l'm sucking his d--- and he's telling me how hot I am >Never in life been told l'm hot F--- it. I guess I'm gay now.
: Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:03:10 No.792689080 Got back from weird Valentine's date. >be me. 5'4" 103lb straight guy >forever alone in 93 KB JPG "friendzone" because of my size >6'4" bear at work says he'll take me out for dinner because he can tell I'm down. >fast forward end of night l'm sucking his d--- and he's telling me how hot I am >Never in life been told l'm hot F--- it. I guess I'm gay now.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anons are Avril Lavigne | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)01:42:27 No.877530261 Everyone you know is Avril Lavigne in disguise. She has the ability to be in more than one place at the same time, and she's been fooling you your whole life. 1.05 MB JPG When you're not in the room, the people you know converge back into one Avril and she laughs at you behind your back.
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)01:42:27 No.877530261 Everyone you know is Avril Lavigne in disguise. She has the ability to be in more than one place at the same time, and she's been fooling you your whole life. 1.05 MB JPG When you're not in the room, the people you know converge back into one Avril and she laughs at you behind your back.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font sleeve happy

Anon enjoys the weather | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)14:07:12 No.5554705 spri-Sc. >May >hot temperature kicks in >all the girls at the uni campus wearing tank tops showing off their t------ and tummies it's the simple things in life we enjoy the most, frens
Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)14:07:12 No.5554705 spri-Sc. >May >hot temperature kicks in >all the girls at the uni campus wearing tank tops showing off their t------ and tummies it's the simple things in life we enjoy the most, frens

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext jaw happy

Anon stumbles upon Christian Bale | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/26/12(Fri)19:48 No.26791073 File: 1351295311728.jpg-(24 KB, 300x440, christian_bale_2.jpg) >>26790856 >at grocery store >man is checking out in front of me >it's mother f------ Lord God Christian Bale >"That'll be 26.77 sir" >Bale looks the girl in the f------ eyes with the most intense glare imaginable >"No it isn't." >girl starts sweating, hands fumbling >"Umm, sorry sir, I, uh, must have been, oh please God, umm, wrong." >Bale nods slowly >"Bag my mother f------ groceries." >girl carefully puts stuff in the bags >Bale watches carefully with a stoic glance of pure Alpha >"Watch the eggs, I promised my daughter a cake." >girl starts shaking even harder, manages to finish bagging. >Bale stares at her blankly for a few moments, he doesn't move. >"Thanks." >hands her a fifty >"keep the change." >starts to walk away, stops and turns around >hands her another fifty >nods to cashier with a slight smile >looks at me >ohfuck.jpeg >smiles and winks at me >Bale walks out >cashier wont even ring me up, she starts masturbating on the spot >I start masturbating too >Bale's face when
Anonymous 10/26/12(Fri)19:48 No.26791073 File: 1351295311728.jpg-(24 KB, 300x440, christian_bale_2.jpg) >>26790856 >at grocery store >man is checking out in front of me >it's mother f------ Lord God Christian Bale >"That'll be 26.77 sir" >Bale looks the girl in the f------ eyes with the most intense glare imaginable >"No it isn't." >girl starts sweating, hands fumbling >"Umm, sorry sir, I, uh, must have been, oh please God, umm, wrong." >Bale nods slowly >"Bag my mother f------ groceries." >girl carefully puts stuff in the bags >Bale watches carefully with a stoic glance of pure Alpha >"Watch the eggs, I promised my daughter a cake." >girl starts shaking even harder, manages to finish bagging. >Bale stares at her blankly for a few moments, he doesn't move. >"Thanks." >hands her a fifty >"keep the change." >starts to walk away, stops and turns around >hands her another fifty >nods to cashier with a slight smile >looks at me >ohfuck.jpeg >smiles and winks at me >Bale walks out >cashier wont even ring me up, she starts masturbating on the spot >I start masturbating too >Bale's face when

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

anon is not so different | /r/Greentext

>in my room >dad yelling at me because abusive >calls me a retard >autism kicks in >"takes one to know one" 143 KB PNG he's throwing bottles at me now what do i do
>in my room >dad yelling at me because abusive >calls me a retard >autism kicks in >"takes one to know one" 143 KB PNG he's throwing bottles at me now what do i do

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism rectangle font

Anon is delusional | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)12:57:46 No.877557089 >be me >post as much nice stuff in /b/ as possible without being cringe >be a d------- to people posting p---/negative things >start noticing a very slight shift in /b/s mood 62 KB GIF >feelsgoodman 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)13:01:37 No.877557188 >>877557089 (OP) # Dear diary, Today the f----- felt a sense of accomplishment because he tried to purify the water in the latrine with his tongue. >>877557325 #
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)12:57:46 No.877557089 >be me >post as much nice stuff in /b/ as possible without being cringe >be a d------- to people posting p---/negative things >start noticing a very slight shift in /b/s mood 62 KB GIF >feelsgoodman 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)13:01:37 No.877557188 >>877557089 (OP) # Dear diary, Today the f----- felt a sense of accomplishment because he tried to purify the water in the latrine with his tongue. >>877557325 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon thanks his mom. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)22:29:45 No.773601407 >Mom comes home from work stressed out as usual , dad home drunk >Sees me depressed and unmotivated to do anything > takes me and my sister out to eat >let me order anything from the menu , as the good boy I am I order tendies with 46 KB PNG hunny mussy >we leave and go visit my uncle and my newborn cousin >on our ride back home we listen to Southern Nights , a song I love >mfw I realized she did this all for me to cheer up >came home and didn't want to cry and say "i love you" cause l'm a wuss > grow a pair of balls and go say "I love you and thanks for taking me out " sobbing all over her shoulder >still crying while writing this > although you'll never see this > Thank you mom, I love you with all my heart
: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)22:29:45 No.773601407 >Mom comes home from work stressed out as usual , dad home drunk >Sees me depressed and unmotivated to do anything > takes me and my sister out to eat >let me order anything from the menu , as the good boy I am I order tendies with 46 KB PNG hunny mussy >we leave and go visit my uncle and my newborn cousin >on our ride back home we listen to Southern Nights , a song I love >mfw I realized she did this all for me to cheer up >came home and didn't want to cry and say "i love you" cause l'm a wuss > grow a pair of balls and go say "I love you and thanks for taking me out " sobbing all over her shoulder >still crying while writing this > although you'll never see this > Thank you mom, I love you with all my heart

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

anon trolls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)16:30:38 No.68345381 >you are very sleepy >at the count of three you will be under hypnosis 1 >you are a donut
: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)16:30:38 No.68345381 >you are very sleepy >at the count of three you will be under hypnosis 1 >you are a donut

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext rectangle font

Anon dodges a bullet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)09:01:23 No.877551571 >Be me Will you be my Erika From Juntin To AetImm >Out on date with GF of 1 month >decided to go watch some stand up comedy >Bored waiting for comedian to get on stage, decide to read some Greentexts >In the middle of reading some retarded story about a guy s------- out a tapeworm Car mne Aato 00 19 KB JPG >GF looks over my shoulder "Watcha reading?" >Panic internally, don't want to seem like some retarded incel >Can't close it or dismiss it or else it would look weird >Play it cool "Oh it's just this site with funny dumb stories" "Oh cool, let me see" >Reluctantly scroll by while letting her watch >By some fluke of luck all posts that show up are perfectly mundane >Nothing grotesque, no slurs, no femboys or p--- >She reads one text about a guy starting to cook and another about IKEA >Chuckles and looks back over to her phone >Comedian gets on stage, forget about it I don't know how I got this lucky anons. The gods of 4chan must have decided to spare my relationship. Pic unrelated
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)09:01:23 No.877551571 >Be me Will you be my Erika From Juntin To AetImm >Out on date with GF of 1 month >decided to go watch some stand up comedy >Bored waiting for comedian to get on stage, decide to read some Greentexts >In the middle of reading some retarded story about a guy s------- out a tapeworm Car mne Aato 00 19 KB JPG >GF looks over my shoulder "Watcha reading?" >Panic internally, don't want to seem like some retarded incel >Can't close it or dismiss it or else it would look weird >Play it cool "Oh it's just this site with funny dumb stories" "Oh cool, let me see" >Reluctantly scroll by while letting her watch >By some fluke of luck all posts that show up are perfectly mundane >Nothing grotesque, no slurs, no femboys or p--- >She reads one text about a guy starting to cook and another about IKEA >Chuckles and looks back over to her phone >Comedian gets on stage, forget about it I don't know how I got this lucky anons. The gods of 4chan must have decided to spare my relationship. Pic unrelated

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon shares his wisdom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)16:11:06 No.877519166 >be me >middle class life in America >job sucks >politically, it's all s--- >can't afford the latest stuff >lonely...only get 2 matches a month on tinder 24 KB PNG >family is far from perfect >ldea.exe >kms >go before the lord >tells me I can't go to heaven because I kms >go to hell >no memes, mom's homemade pasta, latest football game, fresh air, smell of rain, taste of warm cookie >just constant mental and physical torture >miss being alive in mom's basement >"mr satan sir, can I go back please?" >"no retard, you stay with me" Only get one shot at life /b/ if your life sucks, keep going for the little things. Don't ever kill yourself, satan's too kinky with his tortures, you don't want it. Stay safe and healthy. Spread love and be kind to others and yourself. I love you.
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)16:11:06 No.877519166 >be me >middle class life in America >job sucks >politically, it's all s--- >can't afford the latest stuff >lonely...only get 2 matches a month on tinder 24 KB PNG >family is far from perfect >ldea.exe >kms >go before the lord >tells me I can't go to heaven because I kms >go to hell >no memes, mom's homemade pasta, latest football game, fresh air, smell of rain, taste of warm cookie >just constant mental and physical torture >miss being alive in mom's basement >"mr satan sir, can I go back please?" >"no retard, you stay with me" Only get one shot at life /b/ if your life sucks, keep going for the little things. Don't ever kill yourself, satan's too kinky with his tortures, you don't want it. Stay safe and healthy. Spread love and be kind to others and yourself. I love you.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon becomes a normie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)08:46:04 No.877550829 >4channer >learn all about normies and chads and whatnot >start LARPing as a good person irl >help others with no incentive, altruism, smile and socialise etc. >find it fun to trick everyone into thinking 85 KB PNG you are kind >start LARPing it 24/7, even in games >eventually stop thinking of it as a LARP/trick >actually a decent person now >"pretending" to be good 24/7 made me a good normie >develop good habits I amaze myself with how I am able to successfully live in the most retarded way possible
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)08:46:04 No.877550829 >4channer >learn all about normies and chads and whatnot >start LARPing as a good person irl >help others with no incentive, altruism, smile and socialise etc. >find it fun to trick everyone into thinking 85 KB PNG you are kind >start LARPing it 24/7, even in games >eventually stop thinking of it as a LARP/trick >actually a decent person now >"pretending" to be good 24/7 made me a good normie >develop good habits I amaze myself with how I am able to successfully live in the most retarded way possible

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext happy

Anon's dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 s.jpg 60 KB JPG >"You'll find someone, there's plenty of fish in the sea." >Yeah but I don't know how to fish
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 s.jpg 60 KB JPG >"You'll find someone, there's plenty of fish in the sea." >Yeah but I don't know how to fish

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext smile sleeve gesture happy font

Anon finds a cool symbol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/05/19(Thu)18:29:09 No.8109839 >be me 6 >looking trough my dads history books 4CHAN, LBLSOLIR THE AUTISM PAIN TACTICAL /B/TARD ACTION >finding a sick af symbol >damnthatlooksgood.wav >going to school the next day >teacher tells us to draw on the whiteboard 134 KB JPG >going up there proudly to show off my new epic symbol >mfw the teacher calls my parents >mfw ive been drawing swastikas
: Anonymous 09/05/19(Thu)18:29:09 No.8109839 >be me 6 >looking trough my dads history books 4CHAN, LBLSOLIR THE AUTISM PAIN TACTICAL /B/TARD ACTION >finding a sick af symbol >damnthatlooksgood.wav >going to school the next day >teacher tells us to draw on the whiteboard 134 KB JPG >going up there proudly to show off my new epic symbol >mfw the teacher calls my parents >mfw ive been drawing swastikas

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext rectangle font

Anons genealogy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:55:46 No.877546151 >be me >try out one of those ancestry family tree sites >put in some info, see link to grandparents >find out 6th cousin once 55 KB JPG removed uploaded s--- load of ancestors before them >follow patriarchal line >family apparently immigrated over from Ukraine in 1899 >neat! >earliest recorded ancestor was born in 1691 >cool >his first name is f------ Semen >mfw
: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)21:55:46 No.877546151 >be me >try out one of those ancestry family tree sites >put in some info, see link to grandparents >find out 6th cousin once 55 KB JPG removed uploaded s--- load of ancestors before them >follow patriarchal line >family apparently immigrated over from Ukraine in 1899 >neat! >earliest recorded ancestor was born in 1691 >cool >his first name is f------ Semen >mfw

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font