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Anon wants to commit die | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/04/21 (Mon)19:26:15 No.864396347 hqdefault.jpg 23 KB JPG >be me >thinking of killing myself >realise if I kill myself then nikado avocado will have outlived me. >Continue to live
: Anonymous 10/04/21 (Mon)19:26:15 No.864396347 hqdefault.jpg 23 KB JPG >be me >thinking of killing myself >realise if I kill myself then nikado avocado will have outlived me. >Continue to live

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Anon is a Pedo | /r/Greentext

File: 3gnqzq.png (185 KB, 600x600) I'm a disgusting p------------ that doesn't deserve to exist Anonymous 05/03/22(Tue)05:13:48 No.68469585 [Reply] >>68469943 >>68470898 >be me >13 >Have a happy childhood, loving parents, lots of friends >enter puberty >have first crush on a girl my age >so far, nothing out of the ordinary. Normal teen developing sexuality >don't have feelings for girls over my age but assume it will appear as I get older >2 years pass. So far, things are normal >but then start to notice that the girls l'm attracted to aren't aging with me >worse, they seem to get younger >immediately a worrying thought pops up in my head >"Am I a P--------?" >instantly, I push that thought away >"Pedophiles are the lowest sects of society, I do not want to be part of that group" >hope it's just a phase and that I will somehow find adults sexy over time >a year pass >2 years pass >3 years pass >about to f------ graduate High School and I still can't find adults sexy >by this point there was no denying >l begin to panic >l do everything I can to make myself normal >try to j------- to adult p---, both straight and gay >still nothing >l even dated a woman, hoping this would make me normal >doesn't work out and we eventually break up >as a last desperate attempt, I google "how to cure p---------" >results say it cannot be cured, that it's hard-wired into the brain >start becoming heavily depressed >attempt suicide multiple times >people notice my depression and ask me what's wrong >what the f--- do I tell them >go to a psychiatrist, tell him I want to chemically castrate myself >don't give a s--- if it'll give me Man Boobs, better that being a p*do >tells me he can't do that because it's too risky >l'm 23 now >still can't find girl my age attractive >can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore My hope is that l'll die from something so that l'll walk up to God and beat the ever living s--- out of him for making me like this. 9 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.
File: 3gnqzq.png (185 KB, 600x600) I'm a disgusting p------------ that doesn't deserve to exist Anonymous 05/03/22(Tue)05:13:48 No.68469585 [Reply] >>68469943 >>68470898 >be me >13 >Have a happy childhood, loving parents, lots of friends >enter puberty >have first crush on a girl my age >so far, nothing out of the ordinary. Normal teen developing sexuality >don't have feelings for girls over my age but assume it will appear as I get older >2 years pass. So far, things are normal >but then start to notice that the girls l'm attracted to aren't aging with me >worse, they seem to get younger >immediately a worrying thought pops up in my head >"Am I a P--------?" >instantly, I push that thought away >"Pedophiles are the lowest sects of society, I do not want to be part of that group" >hope it's just a phase and that I will somehow find adults sexy over time >a year pass >2 years pass >3 years pass >about to f------ graduate High School and I still can't find adults sexy >by this point there was no denying >l begin to panic >l do everything I can to make myself normal >try to j------- to adult p---, both straight and gay >still nothing >l even dated a woman, hoping this would make me normal >doesn't work out and we eventually break up >as a last desperate attempt, I google "how to cure p---------" >results say it cannot be cured, that it's hard-wired into the brain >start becoming heavily depressed >attempt suicide multiple times >people notice my depression and ask me what's wrong >what the f--- do I tell them >go to a psychiatrist, tell him I want to chemically castrate myself >don't give a s--- if it'll give me Man Boobs, better that being a p*do >tells me he can't do that because it's too risky >l'm 23 now >still can't find girl my age attractive >can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore My hope is that l'll die from something so that l'll walk up to God and beat the ever living s--- out of him for making me like this. 9 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.

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Anon is as straight as a bent pipe. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)10:38:01 No.868758070 >took a t----- out for a hookup to have a fun greentext for /b/ >meet up, had to stop for gas rq >end up bullshitting around inside of a corner store burger king 72 KB JPG >turns out we've both been missing some xmas shopping >bum around various plazas and department stores >check out a christmas festival at night >the festive lights are highlighting her smile in a way that makes me think l'd never seen real happiness in a person before this moment >take her home >didn't even f--- >get a text making sure that I made it home okay >nobody's ever f------ done that for me before You f------ turned me in to a f-----
: Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)10:38:01 No.868758070 >took a t----- out for a hookup to have a fun greentext for /b/ >meet up, had to stop for gas rq >end up bullshitting around inside of a corner store burger king 72 KB JPG >turns out we've both been missing some xmas shopping >bum around various plazas and department stores >check out a christmas festival at night >the festive lights are highlighting her smile in a way that makes me think l'd never seen real happiness in a person before this moment >take her home >didn't even f--- >get a text making sure that I made it home okay >nobody's ever f------ done that for me before You f------ turned me in to a f-----

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Anon explains sex reversal | /r/Greentext


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Anon notices something | /r/Greentext


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Femanon made some parenting mistakes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/22(Tue)11:41:17 No.68472288 >teenager son asks me to drive him to some o--- he was apparently invited to He couldn't have asked his father instead? 16 KB JPG 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/03/22(Tue)11:44:13 No.68472301 That's a lot to unpack in one sentence.
: Anonymous 05/03/22(Tue)11:41:17 No.68472288 >teenager son asks me to drive him to some o--- he was apparently invited to He couldn't have asked his father instead? 16 KB JPG 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/03/22(Tue)11:44:13 No.68472301 That's a lot to unpack in one sentence.

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anon doesn't want to be a wagechuck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 minutes ago 68466589 >be 22 year old me >NEET for 4 years >in bed playing vidya in room >mom bursts in >she raises her voice >"that's it, i've had enough of this" >im confused >"whats up?" >"this stops right now anon, you either look for a job RIGHT NOW or I'm kicking you out and i mean it, i will call the police to remove you from my house" >"i'm not going to tolerate you not working any longer, if you can't find a job, grandma will hire you at the bar" >i sigh because i knew this day would come >"no need to call the police, i'll go" >her face changes >"what are you talking about? just work and you can stay, you can stay in this house for as long as you wish" >"i'm not going to do that mom" >she looks lost for words >"whats wrong with you? me and your father have worked all our lives, you have to work, thats how life goes" >i stand up from bed >i go and fetch a sleeping bag from the spare room >grab my phone, +300$ in christmas/ birthday money, and the backpack i used for school >go to the door >my mom is crying >"please just apply for a job, please just try and work something easy" >"no" >walk out the house >shes just at the door crying, watching me >go to mcdonalds and grab a double quarter pounder meal >eat it and chill inside there for 30 minutes on the wifi 3 REPLIES Anonymous 4 minutes ago 68466608 >>68466589 (OP) >pretty late now >go to the local place where all the homeless people sleep >they try to hustle me and check my pockets for any money but i got my phone and money in a ziplock bag in my underwear >they think i'm dirt poor and let me sleep there >talk to a nice old man named ivan who said hes been homeless for 17 years >pretty cool guy >said he was in some old rock band or something >cold as f--- and boring, read some book I bought from barnes and noble and listen to the homeless peoples stories to pass the time, plus exploring random abandoned buildings >make daily trips to mcdonalds >3 days pass >mom calling me >"why haven't you called me? why haven't you come home? >"you kicked me out mom" >"where are you? are you ok? please come home, forget about applying for jobs, please just come home" >"ok i will" >go home and mom hugs me telling me how sorry she is, kisses my head and says shes sorry for how she acted i will never work a job and nobody will ever make me, i would rather die on the streets than be a wagecuck. i refuse to do it. 1 REPLY
Anonymous 6 minutes ago 68466589 >be 22 year old me >NEET for 4 years >in bed playing vidya in room >mom bursts in >she raises her voice >"that's it, i've had enough of this" >im confused >"whats up?" >"this stops right now anon, you either look for a job RIGHT NOW or I'm kicking you out and i mean it, i will call the police to remove you from my house" >"i'm not going to tolerate you not working any longer, if you can't find a job, grandma will hire you at the bar" >i sigh because i knew this day would come >"no need to call the police, i'll go" >her face changes >"what are you talking about? just work and you can stay, you can stay in this house for as long as you wish" >"i'm not going to do that mom" >she looks lost for words >"whats wrong with you? me and your father have worked all our lives, you have to work, thats how life goes" >i stand up from bed >i go and fetch a sleeping bag from the spare room >grab my phone, +300$ in christmas/ birthday money, and the backpack i used for school >go to the door >my mom is crying >"please just apply for a job, please just try and work something easy" >"no" >walk out the house >shes just at the door crying, watching me >go to mcdonalds and grab a double quarter pounder meal >eat it and chill inside there for 30 minutes on the wifi 3 REPLIES Anonymous 4 minutes ago 68466608 >>68466589 (OP) >pretty late now >go to the local place where all the homeless people sleep >they try to hustle me and check my pockets for any money but i got my phone and money in a ziplock bag in my underwear >they think i'm dirt poor and let me sleep there >talk to a nice old man named ivan who said hes been homeless for 17 years >pretty cool guy >said he was in some old rock band or something >cold as f--- and boring, read some book I bought from barnes and noble and listen to the homeless peoples stories to pass the time, plus exploring random abandoned buildings >make daily trips to mcdonalds >3 days pass >mom calling me >"why haven't you called me? why haven't you come home? >"you kicked me out mom" >"where are you? are you ok? please come home, forget about applying for jobs, please just come home" >"ok i will" >go home and mom hugs me telling me how sorry she is, kisses my head and says shes sorry for how she acted i will never work a job and nobody will ever make me, i would rather die on the streets than be a wagecuck. i refuse to do it. 1 REPLY

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Anon's doesn't pay for spotify | /r/Greentext

2135463.png (216 KB, 680x478) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 05/03/22(Tue)14:27:08 No.877409167 [1] [Reply] >make spotify premium plan for the family >that being me, mom and sister >it was agreed in the beggining that we'd split it equally >pay my mothers share >ask my sisters share monthly >8 months without one pay from her >thats roughly 43 bucks she owes me >ask her about it at dinner >says she wont pay s--- >teli i'll just remove her account from it >goes completely insane >starts yelling and cussing >mom visibly confused >chuckle trying to break the ice >say "looks like somebody cant skip songs now" >she gets up and runs to her room screeching >slams door shut >5 minutes go by, me and mom still eating >she passes by the table with 2 bags with clothes >says she cant live in the same house as me no more >calls an uber and goes to her boyfriends house >mom is sad now Am i the one to blame here? Im sad that mom is sad.
2135463.png (216 KB, 680x478) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 05/03/22(Tue)14:27:08 No.877409167 [1] [Reply] >make spotify premium plan for the family >that being me, mom and sister >it was agreed in the beggining that we'd split it equally >pay my mothers share >ask my sisters share monthly >8 months without one pay from her >thats roughly 43 bucks she owes me >ask her about it at dinner >says she wont pay s--- >teli i'll just remove her account from it >goes completely insane >starts yelling and cussing >mom visibly confused >chuckle trying to break the ice >say "looks like somebody cant skip songs now" >she gets up and runs to her room screeching >slams door shut >5 minutes go by, me and mom still eating >she passes by the table with 2 bags with clothes >says she cant live in the same house as me no more >calls an uber and goes to her boyfriends house >mom is sad now Am i the one to blame here? Im sad that mom is sad.

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Anon joins the marines | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/03/22(Tue)02:51:27 No.68471449 >a recruiter comes to my school >he spends time with me and the boys during recess >"Ay anon do you want to protect your family or your girlfriend?" >"No sir I don't have girlfriend and I hate my family" >"C'mon don't you have anything you want to 226 KB PNG protect?" >suddenly think about Mr.Hairy at home that's it robot, I will join the marines. no one f---- with my cat.
Anonymous 05/03/22(Tue)02:51:27 No.68471449 >a recruiter comes to my school >he spends time with me and the boys during recess >"Ay anon do you want to protect your family or your girlfriend?" >"No sir I don't have girlfriend and I hate my family" >"C'mon don't you have anything you want to 226 KB PNG protect?" >suddenly think about Mr.Hairy at home that's it robot, I will join the marines. no one f---- with my cat.

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anon has humility | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/18(Wed)19:48:00 No.10877907 >reading Plato on the subway >Parmenides, struggling to understand >black guy next to me glances over >"Are you an intellectual ?" >"Not really." >"That's why you read Plato" >he smiles and leaves a few stations later >come home and try thinking of comebacks in the shower what the f--- >>10877947 # >>10882371 #
: Anonymous 03/21/18(Wed)19:48:00 No.10877907 >reading Plato on the subway >Parmenides, struggling to understand >black guy next to me glances over >"Are you an intellectual ?" >"Not really." >"That's why you read Plato" >he smiles and leaves a few stations later >come home and try thinking of comebacks in the shower what the f--- >>10877947 # >>10882371 #

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Anon is evil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/22(Mon)15:41:41 No.68460311 >find a uni classmate in Chaturbate >fap to her for free multiple times >screencap juicy moments >start getting along with her IRL >show no hints of knowing about her being a prostitute >eventually she becomes a good 91 KB JPG friend >finally buy tokens to have a private with her >make her degrade herself, do some i----- RP and raceplay >leak it all in uni forums and discords >she falls into depression >act sympathetic, Imaoing inside N------ should be miserable.
: Anonymous 05/02/22(Mon)15:41:41 No.68460311 >find a uni classmate in Chaturbate >fap to her for free multiple times >screencap juicy moments >start getting along with her IRL >show no hints of knowing about her being a prostitute >eventually she becomes a good 91 KB JPG friend >finally buy tokens to have a private with her >make her degrade herself, do some i----- RP and raceplay >leak it all in uni forums and discords >she falls into depression >act sympathetic, Imaoing inside N------ should be miserable.

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Anon messes with HR | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Autistic Workmates 07/29/21(Thu)12:20:02 No.64753069 Autistic s--- you did at work Thread >huge gamer >have a workmate called Amir >also huge gamer 88 KB PNG >also autist >obviously we befriend eachother within 1 week >basicly best friends >we decide to prank our non gamer colleagues >Act and speak like NPCS from different Games when we meet >literally word by word random Oblivion chatter >literally asked him if he went to the sky district often >last week >working normally >Amir is like 3 desks near me >suddenly a huge bang is heard >probably just a plane >Amir: "By the gods, is that the voice?!" >Me: "Dragonborn" >we both break out laughing >had to explain to 3 HR ladies what we are doing >1 is laughing her t--- of, the other 2 get angry and tell us to grow up
: Anonymous Autistic Workmates 07/29/21(Thu)12:20:02 No.64753069 Autistic s--- you did at work Thread >huge gamer >have a workmate called Amir >also huge gamer 88 KB PNG >also autist >obviously we befriend eachother within 1 week >basicly best friends >we decide to prank our non gamer colleagues >Act and speak like NPCS from different Games when we meet >literally word by word random Oblivion chatter >literally asked him if he went to the sky district often >last week >working normally >Amir is like 3 desks near me >suddenly a huge bang is heard >probably just a plane >Amir: "By the gods, is that the voice?!" >Me: "Dragonborn" >we both break out laughing >had to explain to 3 HR ladies what we are doing >1 is laughing her t--- of, the other 2 get angry and tell us to grow up

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anon has an idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)08:39:53 No.595649376 Why are they called video games instead of data games? Video game implies its gonna be some FMV s--- or something. Data game is more accurate because they're all data. We should start calling them data games. 236 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)08:40:23 No.595649432 >>595649376 (OP) # Maybe you should data girl.
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)08:39:53 No.595649376 Why are they called video games instead of data games? Video game implies its gonna be some FMV s--- or something. Data game is more accurate because they're all data. We should start calling them data games. 236 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)08:40:23 No.595649432 >>595649376 (OP) # Maybe you should data girl.

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Anon is a schizo | /r/Greentext

>be me >feeling extremely lonely >pick up my phone >pretend someone calls me >"hello? who is this?" >"hey anon, its [insert childhood friend name here]. Do you 1.77 MB GIF remember me? >"yeah" >talk with literally no one on the phone for an hour >best conversation i've had in years I have officially lost my f------ mind.
>be me >feeling extremely lonely >pick up my phone >pretend someone calls me >"hello? who is this?" >"hey anon, its [insert childhood friend name here]. Do you 1.77 MB GIF remember me? >"yeah" >talk with literally no one on the phone for an hour >best conversation i've had in years I have officially lost my f------ mind.

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Anon makes the case for abortions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ZYXul12a 05/02/22(Mon)21:59:48 No.375796353 >mfw laid regularly >mfw live in a blue state >mfw women aren't apprehensive about sex due to access to birth control Leave it to trumptards to cheer to their own cucking Imao 64 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: ZYXul12a 05/02/22(Mon)21:59:48 No.375796353 >mfw laid regularly >mfw live in a blue state >mfw women aren't apprehensive about sex due to access to birth control Leave it to trumptards to cheer to their own cucking Imao 64 KB JPG

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a message from ex prime minister shinzo abe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)17:55:04 No.236980475 >>236982584 >>236982 Shinzo Abe Official. jpg (245 KB, 1200x1552) google yandex iqdb wait saucenao ascii2d Hello fellow anime fans, former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe here. Agent Twilight and Agent Yor Forger sure looked like they were having fun in today's episode huh? Did you know that their SpyxFamily life is not that much different from an average home? Here's a fun idea, why don't we try it for a few years! Let's do our best and try to be father and mothers for our very own wacky children like Agent Ania, haha! Crazy!
Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)17:55:04 No.236980475 >>236982584 >>236982 Shinzo Abe Official. jpg (245 KB, 1200x1552) google yandex iqdb wait saucenao ascii2d Hello fellow anime fans, former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe here. Agent Twilight and Agent Yor Forger sure looked like they were having fun in today's episode huh? Did you know that their SpyxFamily life is not that much different from an average home? Here's a fun idea, why don't we try it for a few years! Let's do our best and try to be father and mothers for our very own wacky children like Agent Ania, haha! Crazy!

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Anon is clueless | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Ba 03/03/15(Tue)17:15:35 No.383353 >taking a piss at university >American student walks in >"Cold day, isn't it?" Why do Americans talk to strangers? Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:16:24 No.3835 he was calling your d--- small Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:17:29 No.383 File: 1387850227320.jpg (70 KB, 330x319) >>38335310 (OP) >Taking a piss >"Cold day isn't it" OP...
Anonymous Ba 03/03/15(Tue)17:15:35 No.383353 >taking a piss at university >American student walks in >"Cold day, isn't it?" Why do Americans talk to strangers? Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:16:24 No.3835 he was calling your d--- small Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:17:29 No.383 File: 1387850227320.jpg (70 KB, 330x319) >>38335310 (OP) >Taking a piss >"Cold day isn't it" OP...

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Anon gets a hug | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)21:50:41 No.64020304 >give her a hug >hug for a very long time >worry I'm hugging for too long >"do you want me to let go?" >she squeezes me tighter :))) 11 KB PNG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)22:12:38 No.64020468 >>64020304 (OP) # that makes me feel very lonely fren but also very happy for you, wishing the best for you two
: Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)21:50:41 No.64020304 >give her a hug >hug for a very long time >worry I'm hugging for too long >"do you want me to let go?" >she squeezes me tighter :))) 11 KB PNG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)22:12:38 No.64020468 >>64020304 (OP) # that makes me feel very lonely fren but also very happy for you, wishing the best for you two

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Anon meets a Belgian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/02/22(Mon)17:17:08 No.68465470 I saw a Belgian man today 25 KB JPG Anonymous 05/02/22(Mon)17:18:04 No.68465485 >>68465470 (OP). im sorry you had to go through that, im praying for you anon
Anonymous 05/02/22(Mon)17:17:08 No.68465470 I saw a Belgian man today 25 KB JPG Anonymous 05/02/22(Mon)17:18:04 No.68465485 >>68465470 (OP). im sorry you had to go through that, im praying for you anon

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anon is hangry | /r/Greentext

>hate women >eat lunch >hate women less Upon closer inspection, I may not have been a misogynist, just hangry
>hate women >eat lunch >hate women less Upon closer inspection, I may not have been a misogynist, just hangry

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