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Anons prostate exam | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 58 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous >>53085785 (OP) # I just hope she has a penis 06/25/19(Tue)20:05:53 No.53085785 >Hi, you must be Mr. Anon. I'll be administering your prostate exam today. View Thread 06/25/19(Tue)20:06:54 No.53085791
Anonymous 58 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous >>53085785 (OP) # I just hope she has a penis 06/25/19(Tue)20:05:53 No.53085785 >Hi, you must be Mr. Anon. I'll be administering your prostate exam today. View Thread 06/25/19(Tue)20:06:54 No.53085791

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Anon is poor | /r/Greentext

05/01/22(Sun)19:33:04 No.877339770 Anonymous >be me >poor guy struggling with mental health >look up how much therapy costs >It's around $200 for a 1-hour session 10 KB JPG >look up how much a 12-pack of Bud Light costs >It's about $10.49 I could buy 19 whole 12-packs of beer (or 228 cans) for the same price as a single therapy session >I just choose beer to handle my mental issues bc it's astronomically cheaper than therapy Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)19:34:39 No.877339848 >>877339770 (OP) # Shrooms are even better. Like 200 therapy sessions in one night.
05/01/22(Sun)19:33:04 No.877339770 Anonymous >be me >poor guy struggling with mental health >look up how much therapy costs >It's around $200 for a 1-hour session 10 KB JPG >look up how much a 12-pack of Bud Light costs >It's about $10.49 I could buy 19 whole 12-packs of beer (or 228 cans) for the same price as a single therapy session >I just choose beer to handle my mental issues bc it's astronomically cheaper than therapy Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)19:34:39 No.877339848 >>877339770 (OP) # Shrooms are even better. Like 200 therapy sessions in one night.

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Anon is forced to choose | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: NMa/4pgg Make a Choice 05/01/22(Sun)17:35:40 No.375621566 Hello Anon. You don't know me, but I know you. >I have seen everything you have said on 4chan in these past few years, all of the incomprehensibly racist rants and anti-Semitic rhetoric. Which is why I want you to play a game of mine. 56 KB JPG >above you is a heated metal branding device. In exactly two minutes, it will permanently inscribe the words "Ridin' with Biden" onto your penis >you can deactivate the device by placing all 10 of your fingers into the 10 mini-Guillotines in front of you. You must press each button behind each guillotine simultaneously, releasing the iron blades and severing your fingers. Will you cut off the fingers you use to vocalize your hatred of minorities online, or will you bear witness to the mark of Biden every time you urinate or j------- for the rest of your days. The choice is yours.
Anonymous (ID: NMa/4pgg Make a Choice 05/01/22(Sun)17:35:40 No.375621566 Hello Anon. You don't know me, but I know you. >I have seen everything you have said on 4chan in these past few years, all of the incomprehensibly racist rants and anti-Semitic rhetoric. Which is why I want you to play a game of mine. 56 KB JPG >above you is a heated metal branding device. In exactly two minutes, it will permanently inscribe the words "Ridin' with Biden" onto your penis >you can deactivate the device by placing all 10 of your fingers into the 10 mini-Guillotines in front of you. You must press each button behind each guillotine simultaneously, releasing the iron blades and severing your fingers. Will you cut off the fingers you use to vocalize your hatred of minorities online, or will you bear witness to the mark of Biden every time you urinate or j------- for the rest of your days. The choice is yours.

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Anon opens up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)16:01:27 No.877324622 >get comfortable with new housemates >listen to all their problems with a non- judgmental ear for multiple years TAVEN FER >rest of house is more attractive than I am, important for later 19 KB JPG >eventually open up about my suicidal thoughts and how I've dealt with them on and off for ~20 years >confide that the primary source of those thoughts is my recent loneliness (romantic, not platonic) >entire house stops talking to me >female housemates "express concern" about my mental health by telling everyone they know >male housemates hit the gym with me but otherwise avoid me >every time I bring a girl home they spoil my shot by bringing up my depression or pulling her aside at some point to "warn" her >"oh girl be careful I hear he's suicidal" >"anon you're becoming such an incel what happened" YOU HAPPENED, YOU F------ DIRTY BACKSTABBING C---- The moral of this story is f--- women and f--- expressing emotion. Play your cards as close to the chest as humanly possible. Trust no bitches. That is all.
: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)16:01:27 No.877324622 >get comfortable with new housemates >listen to all their problems with a non- judgmental ear for multiple years TAVEN FER >rest of house is more attractive than I am, important for later 19 KB JPG >eventually open up about my suicidal thoughts and how I've dealt with them on and off for ~20 years >confide that the primary source of those thoughts is my recent loneliness (romantic, not platonic) >entire house stops talking to me >female housemates "express concern" about my mental health by telling everyone they know >male housemates hit the gym with me but otherwise avoid me >every time I bring a girl home they spoil my shot by bringing up my depression or pulling her aside at some point to "warn" her >"oh girl be careful I hear he's suicidal" >"anon you're becoming such an incel what happened" YOU HAPPENED, YOU F------ DIRTY BACKSTABBING C---- The moral of this story is f--- women and f--- expressing emotion. Play your cards as close to the chest as humanly possible. Trust no bitches. That is all.

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Anon wants to go back | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/29/22 (Fri)11:13:08 No.877166120 >be me >find old hard drive >plug into pc to see whats on it >old minecraft world i started with my friend >decide to see whats on it 89 KB PNG >boot up mc and the version the worlds is on >look around see my builds >see my friends builds >friend killed himself a few years back >over ran with nostalgia >find his house >find a book in one of the chests >written to me >says if you ever find this book anon i want to tell you for making my life better these past couples months >start tearing up ive been just sitting here idk what to do anymore guys i just want to go back
Anonymous 04/29/22 (Fri)11:13:08 No.877166120 >be me >find old hard drive >plug into pc to see whats on it >old minecraft world i started with my friend >decide to see whats on it 89 KB PNG >boot up mc and the version the worlds is on >look around see my builds >see my friends builds >friend killed himself a few years back >over ran with nostalgia >find his house >find a book in one of the chests >written to me >says if you ever find this book anon i want to tell you for making my life better these past couples months >start tearing up ive been just sitting here idk what to do anymore guys i just want to go back

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Anon wants dessert | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/20/18(Tue)20:58:08 No.785372907 >>785372291 (OP) # 6 KB JPG I'm officially banned from my family's thanksgiving getogether because last year I spiked my 12'yo neice's food with laxatives so she'd s--- herself in front of everyone to satisfy my scat i----- fetish. I guess I'm lucky they didn't call the cops. >>785373007 # >>785373051 # >>785373102 # >>785373193 # >>785373242 # >>785373476 # >>785373610 # >>785373717 # >>785373930 # >>785374070 # >>785374102 # >>785374215 # >>785374263 # >>785374385 # >>785374490 # >>785375095 #
: Anonymous 11/20/18(Tue)20:58:08 No.785372907 >>785372291 (OP) # 6 KB JPG I'm officially banned from my family's thanksgiving getogether because last year I spiked my 12'yo neice's food with laxatives so she'd s--- herself in front of everyone to satisfy my scat i----- fetish. I guess I'm lucky they didn't call the cops. >>785373007 # >>785373051 # >>785373102 # >>785373193 # >>785373242 # >>785373476 # >>785373610 # >>785373717 # >>785373930 # >>785374070 # >>785374102 # >>785374215 # >>785374263 # >>785374385 # >>785374490 # >>785375095 #

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Anon downloads an app | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 47 KB JPG glitching the f--- out >even restarting the app doesn't fix it >what the f--- is going on? >see there's an update for the app >update it >problem goes away instantly I'm fully convinced that apps on the App Store purposefully break older versions so they force you to update. I used this app yesterday and it worked perfectly. It's not even an app that requires internet. 04/30/22(Sat)22:24:44 No.68443491 >download an app from the App Store >regularly start using it, it's pretty good >forget to update it for a while, but continue to use it regularly >one day out of nowhere it starts
Anonymous 47 KB JPG glitching the f--- out >even restarting the app doesn't fix it >what the f--- is going on? >see there's an update for the app >update it >problem goes away instantly I'm fully convinced that apps on the App Store purposefully break older versions so they force you to update. I used this app yesterday and it worked perfectly. It's not even an app that requires internet. 04/30/22(Sat)22:24:44 No.68443491 >download an app from the App Store >regularly start using it, it's pretty good >forget to update it for a while, but continue to use it regularly >one day out of nowhere it starts

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Anon plays too much oblivion. | /r/Greentext

10/19/16(Wed)09:12:08 No.32186979 >>32186858 I actually laughed when I read this for some reason. I've modded Skyrim and Morrowind no problem, but Oblivion... It's different. 108 KB JPG The rare times when I'm out in public (NEET) I ALWAYS stay within some semblance of dialogue within the game, it's fun to me. This was yesterday when I needed to get some cookies, a loaf of bread, and a few chicken breasts to make my favorite sandwich... >Bring all the items to the cashier >"Hi!" >"Greetings" >"Did you find everything ok?" >"Yes, and I've heard others say the same." >"Oh... That's good." >I had some other stuff on there besides my sandwich materials, so a few seconds of silence ensued. >"I saw a few geese outside of your store today. Filthy creatures." >"Oh, were they bothering anyone?" >"I steered clear of them." >She kept quiet after that, so I decided to try again. >"Any news from the other states?" >"Oh, um... No?" >She was bagging at this point so she tried to ignore me. >Dropped my money on the ground trying to pay, she was trying to hold back a smirk. I know she didn't find me cute or anything because I'm 5"6 and 280 pounds >"Don't you have a wallet?" >"That's nothing I'd care to talk about" It was pretty uncomfortable. I'm just gonna keep sticking to the game Anonymous
10/19/16(Wed)09:12:08 No.32186979 >>32186858 I actually laughed when I read this for some reason. I've modded Skyrim and Morrowind no problem, but Oblivion... It's different. 108 KB JPG The rare times when I'm out in public (NEET) I ALWAYS stay within some semblance of dialogue within the game, it's fun to me. This was yesterday when I needed to get some cookies, a loaf of bread, and a few chicken breasts to make my favorite sandwich... >Bring all the items to the cashier >"Hi!" >"Greetings" >"Did you find everything ok?" >"Yes, and I've heard others say the same." >"Oh... That's good." >I had some other stuff on there besides my sandwich materials, so a few seconds of silence ensued. >"I saw a few geese outside of your store today. Filthy creatures." >"Oh, were they bothering anyone?" >"I steered clear of them." >She kept quiet after that, so I decided to try again. >"Any news from the other states?" >"Oh, um... No?" >She was bagging at this point so she tried to ignore me. >Dropped my money on the ground trying to pay, she was trying to hold back a smirk. I know she didn't find me cute or anything because I'm 5"6 and 280 pounds >"Don't you have a wallet?" >"That's nothing I'd care to talk about" It was pretty uncomfortable. I'm just gonna keep sticking to the game Anonymous

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Anon takes shits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/19(Wed) 23:18:56 No.798727633 >take massive s--- >wipe >all is good orsoithought.jpg >sitting at desk, smell s--- smell 110 KB JPG >feel something sticky on ass >f--- >go to bathroom, check underwear >massive f------ s--- stain >What the f--- >I literally wiped my ass i don't understand >spend 20 min in bathroom wiping my ass, no matter how much I wipe there's still s--- coming off of my ass I'm still in the bathroom /b/, what do I do? I'm still getting s--- particles after every wipe
: Anonymous 05/01/19(Wed) 23:18:56 No.798727633 >take massive s--- >wipe >all is good orsoithought.jpg >sitting at desk, smell s--- smell 110 KB JPG >feel something sticky on ass >f--- >go to bathroom, check underwear >massive f------ s--- stain >What the f--- >I literally wiped my ass i don't understand >spend 20 min in bathroom wiping my ass, no matter how much I wipe there's still s--- coming off of my ass I'm still in the bathroom /b/, what do I do? I'm still getting s--- particles after every wipe

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Anon thanks Lord Todd | /r/Greentext

12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me : Anonymous 255 KB PNG >It has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd
12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me : Anonymous 255 KB PNG >It has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd

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The horrible truth of a day in the life of a pokemon. | /r/Greentext

06/26/19(Wed)21:22:09 No.8032395 >be me, a Pokémon > live in forest with wife and child >go out to pick berries to feed my family >get f------ assulted and knocked out feelsbadman.jpeg >wake up in dark, red and white ball >h-------- it's cramped in here : Anonymous 412 KB JPG >sit in there for hours >get teleported out through a fookin lazah >yet again, get assaulted, and knocked out Whattheactualfuck.gif >back in the dark ball >for all I know, I could be in some guys testi >haven't seen my family in a long time... Please god help me I'm losing hope...
06/26/19(Wed)21:22:09 No.8032395 >be me, a Pokémon > live in forest with wife and child >go out to pick berries to feed my family >get f------ assulted and knocked out feelsbadman.jpeg >wake up in dark, red and white ball >h-------- it's cramped in here : Anonymous 412 KB JPG >sit in there for hours >get teleported out through a fookin lazah >yet again, get assaulted, and knocked out Whattheactualfuck.gif >back in the dark ball >for all I know, I could be in some guys testi >haven't seen my family in a long time... Please god help me I'm losing hope...

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Anon provides perspective | /r/Greentext

VientoPasos fed K wljdbzzxksk01.jpg 247 KB JPG Imagine being normal, having all our limbs in-tact, having no life-threatening health issues. Imagine being able to do what you want to do each day with the ability to do or learn nearly everything available to us without any real limit other than the ones we set on ourselves. Imagine being someone who can only look at these types of "normal" people through a window and they themselves cannot reach any of these goals no matter how hard they try. It's this freedom that makes me so angry, angry at myself for not pushing myself to the stars. I hate this feeling and it drives me with an incredible energy that I need to use to accomplish my goals- goals that are all available to me if I just put in what is essentially the smallest amount of effort. I'm not trying to win a war or move a mountain... I'm just trying to accomplish my goals
VientoPasos fed K wljdbzzxksk01.jpg 247 KB JPG Imagine being normal, having all our limbs in-tact, having no life-threatening health issues. Imagine being able to do what you want to do each day with the ability to do or learn nearly everything available to us without any real limit other than the ones we set on ourselves. Imagine being someone who can only look at these types of "normal" people through a window and they themselves cannot reach any of these goals no matter how hard they try. It's this freedom that makes me so angry, angry at myself for not pushing myself to the stars. I hate this feeling and it drives me with an incredible energy that I need to use to accomplish my goals- goals that are all available to me if I just put in what is essentially the smallest amount of effort. I'm not trying to win a war or move a mountain... I'm just trying to accomplish my goals

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Anon is at work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 117 KB JPG 04/30/22(Sat)20:45:06 No.17780061 One of my coworkers eat dry spaghetti noodles at work and acts like it's normal. We sit at our cubicles and he's munching away all day long. Any of your coworkers or family do weird s--- with food?
Anonymous 117 KB JPG 04/30/22(Sat)20:45:06 No.17780061 One of my coworkers eat dry spaghetti noodles at work and acts like it's normal. We sit at our cubicles and he's munching away all day long. Any of your coworkers or family do weird s--- with food?

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Anon learns Spanish | /r/Greentext

File: 1650694515528.jpg (93 KB, 1041x1172) Anonymous 04/30/22(Sat) 13:13:36 No.68432722 [Reply] what's the cruelest thing a woman said/did to you +260 replies and 21 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)16:07:29 No.68446660 File: 1651410219051.png (162 KB, 400x388) >be me, years ago in school >in beginner Spanish class >we have to say very simple sentences describing other people >very limited vocabulary >some dude gets chosen to describe me >"Anon es... guapo" (handsome) COPIUM >immediately two girls start laughing full of contempt >hear them whisper something like "that thing over there is anything but certainly not guapo"
File: 1650694515528.jpg (93 KB, 1041x1172) Anonymous 04/30/22(Sat) 13:13:36 No.68432722 [Reply] what's the cruelest thing a woman said/did to you +260 replies and 21 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)16:07:29 No.68446660 File: 1651410219051.png (162 KB, 400x388) >be me, years ago in school >in beginner Spanish class >we have to say very simple sentences describing other people >very limited vocabulary >some dude gets chosen to describe me >"Anon es... guapo" (handsome) COPIUM >immediately two girls start laughing full of contempt >hear them whisper something like "that thing over there is anything but certainly not guapo"

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Anon is on Omegle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 134 KB JPG 05/01/22(Sun)07:01:47 No.68445893 >on omegle >connect with two australian women >one says "wow look at your nose" >they both disconnect
Anonymous 134 KB JPG 05/01/22(Sun)07:01:47 No.68445893 >on omegle >connect with two australian women >one says "wow look at your nose" >they both disconnect

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)10:56:57 No.877309012 > be me, early 40s loser > getting assessed for autism > nobody gives a s---, because adult > finally talking to actual psychologist > she says "...incidentally Mr. Anon, considering current education policy, a child in your situation starting school today would probably qualify for an individual support worker, or perhaps even be eligible for a place in a special education scheme..." 796 KB JPG bitch essentially said I should've had a tard wrangler. feelsextremelybadman.tiff
: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)10:56:57 No.877309012 > be me, early 40s loser > getting assessed for autism > nobody gives a s---, because adult > finally talking to actual psychologist > she says "...incidentally Mr. Anon, considering current education policy, a child in your situation starting school today would probably qualify for an individual support worker, or perhaps even be eligible for a place in a special education scheme..." 796 KB JPG bitch essentially said I should've had a tard wrangler. feelsextremelybadman.tiff

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Anon is a wizzard | /r/Greentext


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Anos is addicted to eating computer mouse balls | /r/Greentext

fortune (ID: UcT6aMzf 02/01/22(Tue)15:22:28 No.46135010 >>46125941 # 15 KB JPG I used to eat those small computer mouse balls at my dad's office he would take me to. There were tons of empty rooms used for "training" new hires that were never used and he would basically let me have free reign in there. I would take a mouse ball out and suck on it like a gob stopper for hours. I don't know if you guys remember, but they had sort of like a "powdery" feel to them and I thought they tasted good. I probably sucked 500 mouse balls or more dry because I liked the powdery substance on them. I grew up with severe ADHD, behavioral problems, on the spectrum, and suffer from seizures. I never had those issues prior to eating those mouse balls. I asked a few doctors about it and most of them dismissed it but I saw a neurologist once and he was basically like, "yeah who knows what were on those things" >ruined my body and brain eating 90s computer mouse balls >>46137509 # >>46138100 # >>46138399 # >>46141061 # >>46145257 # >>46148929 # >>46148974 # Anonymous (ID: SDeMS5km) 02/01/22(Tue)17:30:12 No.46138399 : Anonymous (ID: UDdG >>46135010 # kek'd audibly I'll remember this next time someone asks me why I don't think we should make it easier to vote.
fortune (ID: UcT6aMzf 02/01/22(Tue)15:22:28 No.46135010 >>46125941 # 15 KB JPG I used to eat those small computer mouse balls at my dad's office he would take me to. There were tons of empty rooms used for "training" new hires that were never used and he would basically let me have free reign in there. I would take a mouse ball out and suck on it like a gob stopper for hours. I don't know if you guys remember, but they had sort of like a "powdery" feel to them and I thought they tasted good. I probably sucked 500 mouse balls or more dry because I liked the powdery substance on them. I grew up with severe ADHD, behavioral problems, on the spectrum, and suffer from seizures. I never had those issues prior to eating those mouse balls. I asked a few doctors about it and most of them dismissed it but I saw a neurologist once and he was basically like, "yeah who knows what were on those things" >ruined my body and brain eating 90s computer mouse balls >>46137509 # >>46138100 # >>46138399 # >>46141061 # >>46145257 # >>46148929 # >>46148974 # Anonymous (ID: SDeMS5km) 02/01/22(Tue)17:30:12 No.46138399 : Anonymous (ID: UDdG >>46135010 # kek'd audibly I'll remember this next time someone asks me why I don't think we should make it easier to vote.

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Anon has plans. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/25/22 (Mon)16:32:12 No.84271296 ► >>84278084>>84292677 >>84318389 File: 1617470824833.jpg (69 KB, 450x405) >>84267693 (OP) If I could manipulate reality I would turn all men into femboys and all women into jacked gymbunnies with amazon physiques
Anonymous 04/25/22 (Mon)16:32:12 No.84271296 ► >>84278084>>84292677 >>84318389 File: 1617470824833.jpg (69 KB, 450x405) >>84267693 (OP) If I could manipulate reality I would turn all men into femboys and all women into jacked gymbunnies with amazon physiques

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anons loved ones experience cancer | /r/Greentext

5m (5/1 18:30) 877292398 . 2 Re 0 Img JPG 33KB (550 × 502) 2 Replies >great uncle dies of cancer >grandfather dies of cancer >close friend dies of cancer >my dog could die this very week because of a giant tumor >Stepmother is puking as we speak because of cancer Why bros? Why must everyone I love suffer from this f------ disease? . 4m (5/1 18:31) 877292449 >>877292398 (OP) not my problem 4m (5/1 18:31) 877292484 >>877292398 (OP) Suspicious that they are all connected to you. Kys and break the cycle
5m (5/1 18:30) 877292398 . 2 Re 0 Img JPG 33KB (550 × 502) 2 Replies >great uncle dies of cancer >grandfather dies of cancer >close friend dies of cancer >my dog could die this very week because of a giant tumor >Stepmother is puking as we speak because of cancer Why bros? Why must everyone I love suffer from this f------ disease? . 4m (5/1 18:31) 877292449 >>877292398 (OP) not my problem 4m (5/1 18:31) 877292484 >>877292398 (OP) Suspicious that they are all connected to you. Kys and break the cycle

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