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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)10:56:57 No.877309012 > be me, early 40s loser > getting assessed for autism > nobody gives a s---, because adult > finally talking to actual psychologist > she says "...incidentally Mr. Anon, considering current education policy, a child in your situation starting school today would probably qualify for an individual support worker, or perhaps even be eligible for a place in a special education scheme..." 796 KB JPG bitch essentially said I should've had a tard wrangler. feelsextremelybadman.tiff
: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)10:56:57 No.877309012 > be me, early 40s loser > getting assessed for autism > nobody gives a s---, because adult > finally talking to actual psychologist > she says "...incidentally Mr. Anon, considering current education policy, a child in your situation starting school today would probably qualify for an individual support worker, or perhaps even be eligible for a place in a special education scheme..." 796 KB JPG bitch essentially said I should've had a tard wrangler. feelsextremelybadman.tiff

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Anon is a wizzard | /r/Greentext


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Anos is addicted to eating computer mouse balls | /r/Greentext

fortune (ID: UcT6aMzf 02/01/22(Tue)15:22:28 No.46135010 >>46125941 # 15 KB JPG I used to eat those small computer mouse balls at my dad's office he would take me to. There were tons of empty rooms used for "training" new hires that were never used and he would basically let me have free reign in there. I would take a mouse ball out and suck on it like a gob stopper for hours. I don't know if you guys remember, but they had sort of like a "powdery" feel to them and I thought they tasted good. I probably sucked 500 mouse balls or more dry because I liked the powdery substance on them. I grew up with severe ADHD, behavioral problems, on the spectrum, and suffer from seizures. I never had those issues prior to eating those mouse balls. I asked a few doctors about it and most of them dismissed it but I saw a neurologist once and he was basically like, "yeah who knows what were on those things" >ruined my body and brain eating 90s computer mouse balls >>46137509 # >>46138100 # >>46138399 # >>46141061 # >>46145257 # >>46148929 # >>46148974 # Anonymous (ID: SDeMS5km) 02/01/22(Tue)17:30:12 No.46138399 : Anonymous (ID: UDdG >>46135010 # kek'd audibly I'll remember this next time someone asks me why I don't think we should make it easier to vote.
fortune (ID: UcT6aMzf 02/01/22(Tue)15:22:28 No.46135010 >>46125941 # 15 KB JPG I used to eat those small computer mouse balls at my dad's office he would take me to. There were tons of empty rooms used for "training" new hires that were never used and he would basically let me have free reign in there. I would take a mouse ball out and suck on it like a gob stopper for hours. I don't know if you guys remember, but they had sort of like a "powdery" feel to them and I thought they tasted good. I probably sucked 500 mouse balls or more dry because I liked the powdery substance on them. I grew up with severe ADHD, behavioral problems, on the spectrum, and suffer from seizures. I never had those issues prior to eating those mouse balls. I asked a few doctors about it and most of them dismissed it but I saw a neurologist once and he was basically like, "yeah who knows what were on those things" >ruined my body and brain eating 90s computer mouse balls >>46137509 # >>46138100 # >>46138399 # >>46141061 # >>46145257 # >>46148929 # >>46148974 # Anonymous (ID: SDeMS5km) 02/01/22(Tue)17:30:12 No.46138399 : Anonymous (ID: UDdG >>46135010 # kek'd audibly I'll remember this next time someone asks me why I don't think we should make it easier to vote.

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Anon has plans. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/25/22 (Mon)16:32:12 No.84271296 ► >>84278084>>84292677 >>84318389 File: 1617470824833.jpg (69 KB, 450x405) >>84267693 (OP) If I could manipulate reality I would turn all men into femboys and all women into jacked gymbunnies with amazon physiques
Anonymous 04/25/22 (Mon)16:32:12 No.84271296 ► >>84278084>>84292677 >>84318389 File: 1617470824833.jpg (69 KB, 450x405) >>84267693 (OP) If I could manipulate reality I would turn all men into femboys and all women into jacked gymbunnies with amazon physiques

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anons loved ones experience cancer | /r/Greentext

5m (5/1 18:30) 877292398 . 2 Re 0 Img JPG 33KB (550 × 502) 2 Replies >great uncle dies of cancer >grandfather dies of cancer >close friend dies of cancer >my dog could die this very week because of a giant tumor >Stepmother is puking as we speak because of cancer Why bros? Why must everyone I love suffer from this f------ disease? . 4m (5/1 18:31) 877292449 >>877292398 (OP) not my problem 4m (5/1 18:31) 877292484 >>877292398 (OP) Suspicious that they are all connected to you. Kys and break the cycle
5m (5/1 18:30) 877292398 . 2 Re 0 Img JPG 33KB (550 × 502) 2 Replies >great uncle dies of cancer >grandfather dies of cancer >close friend dies of cancer >my dog could die this very week because of a giant tumor >Stepmother is puking as we speak because of cancer Why bros? Why must everyone I love suffer from this f------ disease? . 4m (5/1 18:31) 877292449 >>877292398 (OP) not my problem 4m (5/1 18:31) 877292484 >>877292398 (OP) Suspicious that they are all connected to you. Kys and break the cycle

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Anon does something nice | /r/Greentext

Small acts of kindness are something we can all do to make our lives less s---. There is no excuse not to do stuff like this. >Be me 96 KB JPG >Uni student depressed >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time
Small acts of kindness are something we can all do to make our lives less s---. There is no excuse not to do stuff like this. >Be me 96 KB JPG >Uni student depressed >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time

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Anons living the life | /r/Greentext

05/01/22(Sun)00:00:31 No.68438322 >girl i used to go school with uploaded pic containing her soles to insta It is a dream come true I will be busy tonight 05/01/22(Sun)01:29:25 No.68439292 : Anonymous 297 KB PNG : Anonymous have fun for me anony
05/01/22(Sun)00:00:31 No.68438322 >girl i used to go school with uploaded pic containing her soles to insta It is a dream come true I will be busy tonight 05/01/22(Sun)01:29:25 No.68439292 : Anonymous 297 KB PNG : Anonymous have fun for me anony

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Anon goes wrong. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)04:09:27 No.68444767 >be me >go to coffee shop >order a hot chocolate with marshmellows >overhear two women are talking at the other table >pick up programming words like "while loop" and "cpu" 64 KB JPG >I like programming stuff >approach their table confidently >"Hey guys, are you talking about programming?" >they look at me >I repeat myself >they kinda just nod, they don't continue whatever they were talking about, guess they don't think I will understand it >I tell them I'm a programmer (gestured at myself with my hands for emphasis) >one of them is like "sorry, we're talking about work" (paraphrasing) >they seem to be trying to get rid of me >I insist and ask her what their conversation was about >it takes a while but the other one is like "we were discussing blah blah [something about optimization]" >I have no idea what the f--- she just said, it didn't make any sense to me at all >change the topic quickly and ask what programming language she uses >she says it's C >I say "C is an old language, you should use something cooler like javascript" (that's what I'm learning) >they talk to each other quietly (I can't hear what they are saying) >one of them asks "anon, where do you work?" >I tell them I don't have job, I do programming as a hobby >the conversation doesn't continue >they leave a few minutes later Where did I do wrong?
Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)04:09:27 No.68444767 >be me >go to coffee shop >order a hot chocolate with marshmellows >overhear two women are talking at the other table >pick up programming words like "while loop" and "cpu" 64 KB JPG >I like programming stuff >approach their table confidently >"Hey guys, are you talking about programming?" >they look at me >I repeat myself >they kinda just nod, they don't continue whatever they were talking about, guess they don't think I will understand it >I tell them I'm a programmer (gestured at myself with my hands for emphasis) >one of them is like "sorry, we're talking about work" (paraphrasing) >they seem to be trying to get rid of me >I insist and ask her what their conversation was about >it takes a while but the other one is like "we were discussing blah blah [something about optimization]" >I have no idea what the f--- she just said, it didn't make any sense to me at all >change the topic quickly and ask what programming language she uses >she says it's C >I say "C is an old language, you should use something cooler like javascript" (that's what I'm learning) >they talk to each other quietly (I can't hear what they are saying) >one of them asks "anon, where do you work?" >I tell them I don't have job, I do programming as a hobby >the conversation doesn't continue >they leave a few minutes later Where did I do wrong?

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Anon’s cat is the best | /r/Greentext

02/12/19(Tue)20:46:04 No.792494021 Anonymous >be me, 17f and in treatmen and recovery from r--- >walking through petco to pick up crickets for my friends pet lizard >lock eyes with this cat in the adoption area 570 KB JPG >she presses her paw up to the glass >cryinginpublic.jpg >l impulsively adopt her >two months later, sucidal thoughts almost nonexistent and able to talk to strangers again >cat is my best friend, she never leaves my side when I'm home and encourages me to get out of bed in the morning Don't forget to give your pet a hug today
02/12/19(Tue)20:46:04 No.792494021 Anonymous >be me, 17f and in treatmen and recovery from r--- >walking through petco to pick up crickets for my friends pet lizard >lock eyes with this cat in the adoption area 570 KB JPG >she presses her paw up to the glass >cryinginpublic.jpg >l impulsively adopt her >two months later, sucidal thoughts almost nonexistent and able to talk to strangers again >cat is my best friend, she never leaves my side when I'm home and encourages me to get out of bed in the morning Don't forget to give your pet a hug today

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anon is a victim | /r/Greentext

03/27/22(Sun)04:36:08 No.52685126 Anonymous >>52683366 (OP) # >wife is Ukrainian >order her a cat tail buttplug and cat ears from Etsy >war starts the moment we're ready to try it >she hasn't been in the mood to try it for a whole month I'm a victim too. >>52685185 # >>52685934 # >>52686273 #
03/27/22(Sun)04:36:08 No.52685126 Anonymous >>52683366 (OP) # >wife is Ukrainian >order her a cat tail buttplug and cat ears from Etsy >war starts the moment we're ready to try it >she hasn't been in the mood to try it for a whole month I'm a victim too. >>52685185 # >>52685934 # >>52686273 #

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Anon has no crush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 28 KB JPG 05/01/22(Sun)11:24:37 No.877294500 tfw haven't had a crush on someone for 6+ years 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)11:26:16 No.877294550 >>877294500 (OP) # Thats what happens when you don't do s--- but sit at home and play vidya while viewing /b/. >>877294697 #
: Anonymous 28 KB JPG 05/01/22(Sun)11:24:37 No.877294500 tfw haven't had a crush on someone for 6+ years 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)11:26:16 No.877294550 >>877294500 (OP) # Thats what happens when you don't do s--- but sit at home and play vidya while viewing /b/. >>877294697 #

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Anon’s about to become homeless | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)14:11:39 No.877299453 >be me last winter >heating system in my flat is broken >try to contact rental management by phone - no response 86 KB PNG >try contacting by text message - no response >try contacting by email - no response >goes on for 1,5 month >decide to not pay rent and leave a voice mail: "since you're not sending someone to repair the heating system, I'll hire someone myself and pay them from the rent I've retained" >come home from work the next day, 7 new voice mails Oh now you can talk
: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)14:11:39 No.877299453 >be me last winter >heating system in my flat is broken >try to contact rental management by phone - no response 86 KB PNG >try contacting by text message - no response >try contacting by email - no response >goes on for 1,5 month >decide to not pay rent and leave a voice mail: "since you're not sending someone to repair the heating system, I'll hire someone myself and pay them from the rent I've retained" >come home from work the next day, 7 new voice mails Oh now you can talk

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Hustle economy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)15:50:37 No.65823522 >make a reddit account posing as a girl >repost nudes i got from /b/ >invite redditors to send me clips of them jerking off 14 KB JPG >send those clips to gay dudes and get them to buy me stuff >return that stuff for money >use that money to tip camgirls
: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)15:50:37 No.65823522 >make a reddit account posing as a girl >repost nudes i got from /b/ >invite redditors to send me clips of them jerking off 14 KB JPG >send those clips to gay dudes and get them to buy me stuff >return that stuff for money >use that money to tip camgirls

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Anon has a good friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 195 KB PNG >I take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because I'll be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >I think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"
: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 195 KB PNG >I take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because I'll be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >I think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"

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The Milky Way | /r/Greentext

That guy who keeps posting Kag(...) 479 KB JPG 05/01/22(Sun)02:09:46 No.68443813 >Lactose intolerant >Has lactation and breastfeeding fetishes Why has god abandoned me
That guy who keeps posting Kag(...) 479 KB JPG 05/01/22(Sun)02:09:46 No.68443813 >Lactose intolerant >Has lactation and breastfeeding fetishes Why has god abandoned me

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The last Crusade | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/22(Sat)10:32:57 No.68434397 >be christian >bored af because I only go to church like twice a year >heard that islam has some based opinions about women >that's it, I will be a muslim and slap some hijab asses 132 KB JPG >go to the local mosque >"ayo I'm down with Allah, one baptism please" >they kick me out of the mosque looks like I'm with Jesus for some time
: Anonymous 04/30/22(Sat)10:32:57 No.68434397 >be christian >bored af because I only go to church like twice a year >heard that islam has some based opinions about women >that's it, I will be a muslim and slap some hijab asses 132 KB JPG >go to the local mosque >"ayo I'm down with Allah, one baptism please" >they kick me out of the mosque looks like I'm with Jesus for some time

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Anon‘s grandpa does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

06/16/21(Wed)18:57:08 No.64177130 : Anonymous Cant have s--- >be me >23 year old male >poo fetish >usally order the goods from websites specialised for this kind of stuff 231 KB PNG >moved to detroit recently >couldnt take the poo with me >ordered new poo online >package didnt arrive >ask ups they say it has been delivered >w--? >check security cammera >some porch pirate stole the f------ package >mfw Cant have s--- in detroit
06/16/21(Wed)18:57:08 No.64177130 : Anonymous Cant have s--- >be me >23 year old male >poo fetish >usally order the goods from websites specialised for this kind of stuff 231 KB PNG >moved to detroit recently >couldnt take the poo with me >ordered new poo online >package didnt arrive >ask ups they say it has been delivered >w--? >check security cammera >some porch pirate stole the f------ package >mfw Cant have s--- in detroit

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anon finally made it | /r/Greentext


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Anon on vikings. | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets swoll | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be me >fat and retarded >don't do anything with my life >old friend introduces me to the gym >start going once a week 231 KB PNG >absolute monkey, don't know any form >do research on form, learn about nutrition >start going to gym 6 days a week >use bro split >realise that's f------ retarded so start using push pull legs >do nothing but gym, work, eat, sleep for 2 years >me now >used to have giant stomach but I can now see my abs >used to have double chin but now I have a defined jawline >narrower waist, broader shoulders >d--- increased in size from fat loss in pubic bone >now I'm only retarded I still get no girls /b/ros, but the grind was all worth it. Hardstyle and Zyzz will change your life. 05/01/22(Sun)09:54:54 No.877260780
Anonymous >be me >fat and retarded >don't do anything with my life >old friend introduces me to the gym >start going once a week 231 KB PNG >absolute monkey, don't know any form >do research on form, learn about nutrition >start going to gym 6 days a week >use bro split >realise that's f------ retarded so start using push pull legs >do nothing but gym, work, eat, sleep for 2 years >me now >used to have giant stomach but I can now see my abs >used to have double chin but now I have a defined jawline >narrower waist, broader shoulders >d--- increased in size from fat loss in pubic bone >now I'm only retarded I still get no girls /b/ros, but the grind was all worth it. Hardstyle and Zyzz will change your life. 05/01/22(Sun)09:54:54 No.877260780

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