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Anon tells a true story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous true story >clocking out at work >for some reason we have a fingerprint scanner >need to scan our fingerprints to clock in or out 84 KB PNG >me and female coworker clocking out >she goes first >scanner doesn't register her >she licks her finger and rubs it on her pants then scans her finger >it works >i go next >scan my finger >go home >masturbate >mfw i touched a girl's spit >mfw a girl's spit touched my d--- >mfw i basically got a b------ later virgins 04/26/22(Tue)15:36:14 No.68385163
: Anonymous true story >clocking out at work >for some reason we have a fingerprint scanner >need to scan our fingerprints to clock in or out 84 KB PNG >me and female coworker clocking out >she goes first >scanner doesn't register her >she licks her finger and rubs it on her pants then scans her finger >it works >i go next >scan my finger >go home >masturbate >mfw i touched a girl's spit >mfw a girl's spit touched my d--- >mfw i basically got a b------ later virgins 04/26/22(Tue)15:36:14 No.68385163

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Anon is having a good day....the | /r/Greentext

File: 88f.jpg (50 KB, 604x516) 33 Anonymous 02/23/20(Sun)16:08:39 No.821334295 >>821334949 >>821336159 >be me >have bad day at work >come home p----- off >just wanna go to sleep >cat jumps on bed purring >suddenly not angry anymore I love you, Lola
File: 88f.jpg (50 KB, 604x516) 33 Anonymous 02/23/20(Sun)16:08:39 No.821334295 >>821334949 >>821336159 >be me >have bad day at work >come home p----- off >just wanna go to sleep >cat jumps on bed purring >suddenly not angry anymore I love you, Lola

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anon does a minute amount of tomfoolery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/22(Wed)09:52:20 No.68391840 >>68390447 (OP) # One time in high school I was sitting next to a girl and could tell she was on her period. I could literally smell her blood. It was confirmed once she asked to visit the restroom twice that class period. >>68391965 # : Anonymous 04/27/22(Wed)10:04:36 No.68391965 >>68391840 # >snap your pencil on purpose >whisper "bloody c---" under your breath, just loud enough for her to hear 195 KB JPG >gauge her reaction :trollface:
: Anonymous 04/27/22(Wed)09:52:20 No.68391840 >>68390447 (OP) # One time in high school I was sitting next to a girl and could tell she was on her period. I could literally smell her blood. It was confirmed once she asked to visit the restroom twice that class period. >>68391965 # : Anonymous 04/27/22(Wed)10:04:36 No.68391965 >>68391840 # >snap your pencil on purpose >whisper "bloody c---" under your breath, just loud enough for her to hear 195 KB JPG >gauge her reaction :trollface:

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The duality of men | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)21:56:13 No.877002759 Old f--- of /b/ what's some advice you'd give to the young generation? 94 KB GIF : Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)21:57:25 No.877002845 take care of yer teeth! It'll save you a pretty penny in the future >>877003035 # : Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)21:57:33 No.877002857 more pepes 7 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)21:56:13 No.877002759 Old f--- of /b/ what's some advice you'd give to the young generation? 94 KB GIF : Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)21:57:25 No.877002845 take care of yer teeth! It'll save you a pretty penny in the future >>877003035 # : Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)21:57:33 No.877002857 more pepes 7 KB JPG

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Anon is a rapper | /r/Greentext

Anonymous En 132 KB PNG 04/27/22(Wed)05:14:38 No.167174416 My name is... Shake zula, the mic rula, the old schoola, you want a trip, I'll bring it to ya
Anonymous En 132 KB PNG 04/27/22(Wed)05:14:38 No.167174416 My name is... Shake zula, the mic rula, the old schoola, you want a trip, I'll bring it to ya

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anon would like some answers. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why has the world culturally c(...) >2012 ? >nobody talked about racism. when. race riots happened they are condemned by media >2022 43 KB PNG >now people talk about racism every single day. BLM has mass media and public support >2012 >nobody has even heard of a transgender person >2022 >transgender people are absolutely everywhere, even in governments and powerful corporations >2012 >people hate SJWS and make fun of them. they only exist on tumblr >2022 >SJWS control every single western institution, every corporation, and command massive influence over governments and laws >2012 >men rarely if ever get accused of sexual assault, if they do then it's for something truly heinous (eg. jimmy saville, or the lostprophets guy that r---- babies) >2022 >every week or month you read a news headline about some man being accused of "sexual misconduct" (whatever that means) and having their entire life ruined What changed? 6 Replies / 3 Images View Thread 04/27/22(Wed) 07:32:50 No.68394379
: Anonymous Why has the world culturally c(...) >2012 ? >nobody talked about racism. when. race riots happened they are condemned by media >2022 43 KB PNG >now people talk about racism every single day. BLM has mass media and public support >2012 >nobody has even heard of a transgender person >2022 >transgender people are absolutely everywhere, even in governments and powerful corporations >2012 >people hate SJWS and make fun of them. they only exist on tumblr >2022 >SJWS control every single western institution, every corporation, and command massive influence over governments and laws >2012 >men rarely if ever get accused of sexual assault, if they do then it's for something truly heinous (eg. jimmy saville, or the lostprophets guy that r---- babies) >2022 >every week or month you read a news headline about some man being accused of "sexual misconduct" (whatever that means) and having their entire life ruined What changed? 6 Replies / 3 Images View Thread 04/27/22(Wed) 07:32:50 No.68394379

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Anon is gonna make it... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 50437301 11.6 kB JPG 6 REPLIES 6 IMAGES >see qt girl at bus stop >approach her >"hi, i'm anon. how are you?" >"oh hi anon. i'm rebecca" >"would you like to come to mcdonalds with me?" >"um. i'm sorry. i have a boyfriend" >at least i tried >i'm gonna make it 2 hr. ago... REPLY
Anonymous 50437301 11.6 kB JPG 6 REPLIES 6 IMAGES >see qt girl at bus stop >approach her >"hi, i'm anon. how are you?" >"oh hi anon. i'm rebecca" >"would you like to come to mcdonalds with me?" >"um. i'm sorry. i have a boyfriend" >at least i tried >i'm gonna make it 2 hr. ago... REPLY

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Anon doesn't know that adblock exists | /r/Greentext


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Anon was almost a Chad. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)21:36:59 No.68028373 sad chad pepe.jpg 40 KB JPG >5'11 >white >150lbs >not ugly >decent jaw line >decent brow ridge why would God give me the tools to be a chad and then curse me with autism?
: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)21:36:59 No.68028373 sad chad pepe.jpg 40 KB JPG >5'11 >white >150lbs >not ugly >decent jaw line >decent brow ridge why would God give me the tools to be a chad and then curse me with autism?

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What a chad. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)18:26:29 No.876184042 Lawn-Mower-201709-004.jpg| 411 KB JPG >be me >be white >have job in landscaping for multiple HOAS >work with a lot of latinos who speak little to no English >white lady comes up to me "OH thank God, someone who speaks English" >start speaking back to her in Dutch
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)18:26:29 No.876184042 Lawn-Mower-201709-004.jpg| 411 KB JPG >be me >be white >have job in landscaping for multiple HOAS >work with a lot of latinos who speak little to no English >white lady comes up to me "OH thank God, someone who speaks English" >start speaking back to her in Dutch

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Anon likes DC-10’s | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/24/20(Mon)01:43:48 No.1453824 American LunayLiner IENTAI Photo Copyright kiell nilsson AIRINERS.NET 28e9a4d034240f08f99f00ba166db26f.jpg 84 KB JPG >designed by lord xenu himself >three f------ engines >iconic, THE face of aviation for decades >wide, dominant body >worst hull loss ratio of all time, still got recertified within a month Is it, dare I say, the most Chad aircraft of all time?
: Anonymous 02/24/20(Mon)01:43:48 No.1453824 American LunayLiner IENTAI Photo Copyright kiell nilsson AIRINERS.NET 28e9a4d034240f08f99f00ba166db26f.jpg 84 KB JPG >designed by lord xenu himself >three f------ engines >iconic, THE face of aviation for decades >wide, dominant body >worst hull loss ratio of all time, still got recertified within a month Is it, dare I say, the most Chad aircraft of all time?

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Anon Is spiderman. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/22(Wed)03:39:48 No.877001801 I have spiderman c--. >be me >cooms >normal j--- comes out >wipe away >afterwards I slowly pull a leftover string of c-- out of my d--- hole 114 KB PNG >it can get really long >l can feel it coming out of my urethra >wet_noodle.mov >mfw >it's really stretchy and is definitely a solid but can still break easily >lf I wrap it between my index fingers it can support the weight of my hand >mfw I have my own web shooter formula >mfw I probably have f----- up sperm so l'm probably sterile and don't have to worry about knocking some w---- up >My length record is my entire arm span | Is this normal? My friend suggested I try swinging from a building with it.
: Anonymous 04/27/22(Wed)03:39:48 No.877001801 I have spiderman c--. >be me >cooms >normal j--- comes out >wipe away >afterwards I slowly pull a leftover string of c-- out of my d--- hole 114 KB PNG >it can get really long >l can feel it coming out of my urethra >wet_noodle.mov >mfw >it's really stretchy and is definitely a solid but can still break easily >lf I wrap it between my index fingers it can support the weight of my hand >mfw I have my own web shooter formula >mfw I probably have f----- up sperm so l'm probably sterile and don't have to worry about knocking some w---- up >My length record is my entire arm span | Is this normal? My friend suggested I try swinging from a building with it.

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Anon progress backwards | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets it! | /r/Greentext


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Can confirm it works. | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a kind friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)22:15:54 No.597035539 >be 8 >get invited over to rich friend's house >first time going to a friend's house ever 90 KB GIF >every f------ console imaginable >big ass screen >playing wii sports resort, the one with the little plane island game >his mom sees him using the wiimote, yells at him to let his guest play >he awkwardly hands me the controller >everytime i hear his mom coming i'd hand him the controller >"hey take the remote, try pressing these two buttons for a cool easter egg" >there was never an easter egg >mom always comes in, gets frustrated he isn't letting his guest play, yells, leaves >this happens 3 times and he never questions why im giving him the remote >i never question why i have the impulse to do this >mom comes in a fourth time and asks to talk to him alone >mfw i heard him getting spanked while i flew my wii plane around the island volcano >he comes back in fighting tears, lets me play whatever i want for the rest of the visit >switched to his xbox and played cod zombies for a few hours while he watched in sadness >dont know why i did it to this day >feel bad whenever i remember it, never did anything like this >last i heard, this kid became a coke addict in high school >>597036109 # >>597036110 # >>597036679 # >>597038416 #
: Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)22:15:54 No.597035539 >be 8 >get invited over to rich friend's house >first time going to a friend's house ever 90 KB GIF >every f------ console imaginable >big ass screen >playing wii sports resort, the one with the little plane island game >his mom sees him using the wiimote, yells at him to let his guest play >he awkwardly hands me the controller >everytime i hear his mom coming i'd hand him the controller >"hey take the remote, try pressing these two buttons for a cool easter egg" >there was never an easter egg >mom always comes in, gets frustrated he isn't letting his guest play, yells, leaves >this happens 3 times and he never questions why im giving him the remote >i never question why i have the impulse to do this >mom comes in a fourth time and asks to talk to him alone >mfw i heard him getting spanked while i flew my wii plane around the island volcano >he comes back in fighting tears, lets me play whatever i want for the rest of the visit >switched to his xbox and played cod zombies for a few hours while he watched in sadness >dont know why i did it to this day >feel bad whenever i remember it, never did anything like this >last i heard, this kid became a coke addict in high school >>597036109 # >>597036110 # >>597036679 # >>597038416 #

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a true /fit/ scholar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/18(Thu)19:00:42 No.48798885 Been having diarrhea for a couple days lads. Going to hit the gym for an hour. I'll let you lads know if I s--- myself 57 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/20/18(Thu)19:53:45 No.48799355 >>48798885 (OP) # Well it happened lads. I s--- myself >>48799419 # >>48799637 # >>48799678 #
: Anonymous 12/20/18(Thu)19:00:42 No.48798885 Been having diarrhea for a couple days lads. Going to hit the gym for an hour. I'll let you lads know if I s--- myself 57 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/20/18(Thu)19:53:45 No.48799355 >>48798885 (OP) # Well it happened lads. I s--- myself >>48799419 # >>48799637 # >>48799678 #

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It's Bong. Brit Bong. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: fvgOASRk 05/02/18(Wed)05:24: >be top tier british spy >need a licence to kill 59 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: fvgOASRk 05/02/18(Wed)05:24: >be top tier british spy >need a licence to kill 59 KB JPG

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anon had sleep paralysis | /r/Greentext


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Anon is no longer a beta | /r/Greentext

No.587885243 hours ago test (2).png PNG 236.0 KiB 657x527 >normal day >sitting at compooter >suddenly my balls are itchy >like something is really bugging it >cannot resist the urge to scratch >feel a bump as i graze across the sack >certainly wasn't a scab >certainly wasn't an std >immediately throw off pants >inspect peepee like doctor >a f------ TICK is latched inbetween balls and shaft >pull that s--- off >really painful >speedrun to bathroom to eliminate the threat >originally disgusted >think about it some more >tfw i just got my d--- sucked See you later virgins.
No.587885243 hours ago test (2).png PNG 236.0 KiB 657x527 >normal day >sitting at compooter >suddenly my balls are itchy >like something is really bugging it >cannot resist the urge to scratch >feel a bump as i graze across the sack >certainly wasn't a scab >certainly wasn't an std >immediately throw off pants >inspect peepee like doctor >a f------ TICK is latched inbetween balls and shaft >pull that s--- off >really painful >speedrun to bathroom to eliminate the threat >originally disgusted >think about it some more >tfw i just got my d--- sucked See you later virgins.

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