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The Life-Saving Cuddle | /r/Greentext

why aren't you larsmaxxing anon? An why aren't you larsmaxxing ano(...) 10/11/23(Wed)06:31:27 No.75028394 312 KB JPG >be me lonely early 20s >no gf >no future >live all by myself >watch lars and the real girl and relate heavy to lars >notice that lars became happier and more productive after buying a doll and pretending that it's his gf >idea.jpg >week later decide to buy anime bodypillow of waifu (it's easier to hide and not as creepy as a doll) >waifu comes in the mail after a month of waiting >start pretending shes my gf >talk to her, watch tv with her and sleep with her (not sex Imao literal sleep sex with pillow is too pathetic) >very quickly my joy for life goes up >become more productive and less suicidal >this bodypillow has legit made my life better >why aren't you larsmaxxing anon?
why aren't you larsmaxxing anon? An why aren't you larsmaxxing ano(...) 10/11/23(Wed)06:31:27 No.75028394 312 KB JPG >be me lonely early 20s >no gf >no future >live all by myself >watch lars and the real girl and relate heavy to lars >notice that lars became happier and more productive after buying a doll and pretending that it's his gf >idea.jpg >week later decide to buy anime bodypillow of waifu (it's easier to hide and not as creepy as a doll) >waifu comes in the mail after a month of waiting >start pretending shes my gf >talk to her, watch tv with her and sleep with her (not sex Imao literal sleep sex with pillow is too pathetic) >very quickly my joy for life goes up >become more productive and less suicidal >this bodypillow has legit made my life better >why aren't you larsmaxxing anon?

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Anon Can't Wait For The Fnaf Movie | /r/Greentext

#653792541 Ayyyple #653790336 freddy-2.png PNG 1.2 MiB 1073x693 This winter... >Uptown Funk beat starts playing... Mike schmidt... >DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH Is about to discover... >DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH The dark secrets of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza... >DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH Where the animatronics... >HEY HEY HEY OH Are not what they seem... >music cuts out : "What the hell is that thing?" >cuts to a close-up of Bonnie's face "It's me..." >music cuts back in >DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH >Letters pop up on the screen,spelling Five Nights at Freddys >UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP, UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP >Rated R 2 replies >>653790336 (OP) im just here to watch daddy springtrap
#653792541 Ayyyple #653790336 freddy-2.png PNG 1.2 MiB 1073x693 This winter... >Uptown Funk beat starts playing... Mike schmidt... >DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH Is about to discover... >DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH The dark secrets of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza... >DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH Where the animatronics... >HEY HEY HEY OH Are not what they seem... >music cuts out : "What the hell is that thing?" >cuts to a close-up of Bonnie's face "It's me..." >music cuts back in >DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH >Letters pop up on the screen,spelling Five Nights at Freddys >UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP, UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP >Rated R 2 replies >>653790336 (OP) im just here to watch daddy springtrap

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Neglected Affections | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Is this normal 398 KB PNG 10/11/23(Wed)05:27:42 No.75028143 >finally get a gf >she never seems to care about my interests or feelings >always talks about her stupid interests >literal children's s---, Monster high, SpongeBob, plush toys >have to pretend to care every time, draining my soul >stop loving her more and more, just get f------ angry when I see her We're not even intimate anymore. She said she's uncomfortable with sex. Now she just f------ hangs on my ass all day and talks rambles about her stupid f------ s--- and with her stupid f------ political opinions and it's like I'm just babysitting a child
Anonymous Is this normal 398 KB PNG 10/11/23(Wed)05:27:42 No.75028143 >finally get a gf >she never seems to care about my interests or feelings >always talks about her stupid interests >literal children's s---, Monster high, SpongeBob, plush toys >have to pretend to care every time, draining my soul >stop loving her more and more, just get f------ angry when I see her We're not even intimate anymore. She said she's uncomfortable with sex. Now she just f------ hangs on my ass all day and talks rambles about her stupid f------ s--- and with her stupid f------ political opinions and it's like I'm just babysitting a child

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Anon thinks it's over for Japan. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/10/23(Tue)08:53:03 No.188442472 >shrinking population >gaming and anime industry dying out to chinese and korean markets >china no longer buying japanese fisheries due to hiroshima nuclear waste disposal >losing automotive markets to chinese because failure to adapt to EVs. >Failed to claim their share on phone market and lost it to USAS apple, Chinas Huwai and Koreas Samsung >taxes going up > value going down through massive inflation Idk man I think Nippon is done. 39 KB JPG
Anonymous 10/10/23(Tue)08:53:03 No.188442472 >shrinking population >gaming and anime industry dying out to chinese and korean markets >china no longer buying japanese fisheries due to hiroshima nuclear waste disposal >losing automotive markets to chinese because failure to adapt to EVs. >Failed to claim their share on phone market and lost it to USAS apple, Chinas Huwai and Koreas Samsung >taxes going up > value going down through massive inflation Idk man I think Nippon is done. 39 KB JPG

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The Unforgivable Act | /r/Greentext

Anonymous blinded my f------ dad 10/11/23(Wed)11:32:47 No.907495184 >be me >22 year old looser man baby who lives in their parents basement >few weeks ago i just randomly though "i should try air soft >FFW to yesterday >new gun arrives >it's a glock replica, realistic blowback, little over $100, worth it tbh >giddy to try it out >got all my gear on, went to my backyard >forgot to tell my parents, start shooting the amazon box it came in behind the house >dad bursts trough the back door while i was firing a round >"annon what the f--- is going on" >he startled me and i accidentally jolt the gun right towards him as a flight or fight response >hit him square in the f------ eye, he gets knocked down and starts screaming 61 KB JPG >ffw today >be me, in the ER with him >realize i just half blinded my f------ dad near crying while writing this, looking at him with bandages around his eyes knowing damn well it's my fault he's like this now f------ hurts
Anonymous blinded my f------ dad 10/11/23(Wed)11:32:47 No.907495184 >be me >22 year old looser man baby who lives in their parents basement >few weeks ago i just randomly though "i should try air soft >FFW to yesterday >new gun arrives >it's a glock replica, realistic blowback, little over $100, worth it tbh >giddy to try it out >got all my gear on, went to my backyard >forgot to tell my parents, start shooting the amazon box it came in behind the house >dad bursts trough the back door while i was firing a round >"annon what the f--- is going on" >he startled me and i accidentally jolt the gun right towards him as a flight or fight response >hit him square in the f------ eye, he gets knocked down and starts screaming 61 KB JPG >ffw today >be me, in the ER with him >realize i just half blinded my f------ dad near crying while writing this, looking at him with bandages around his eyes knowing damn well it's my fault he's like this now f------ hurts

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Refusing to Be Saved | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Crush has OnlyFans 939 KB PNG 10/11/23(Wed)06:32:28 No.75028402 >Be me and go to a College party >She is a petite, redhead with a big ass >See my crush with her group of female friends, I have been talking with this girl for 3 months and was close to making her my girlfriend >I go there and ask what they are talking about Their female friends started laughing and said >Anon created onlyfans >Pic related, I subscribed with a fake account in the bathroom as soon as I saw it just to see what content she was posting >She is posting naked pictures and some feet pics > I am still in love with her and I want to kill her What do I do bros? She did not even consult me if she was allowed to do it, why are females degrading themselves like this, she is f------ sexy why is she using only fans if I can provide her a good life.
Anonymous Crush has OnlyFans 939 KB PNG 10/11/23(Wed)06:32:28 No.75028402 >Be me and go to a College party >She is a petite, redhead with a big ass >See my crush with her group of female friends, I have been talking with this girl for 3 months and was close to making her my girlfriend >I go there and ask what they are talking about Their female friends started laughing and said >Anon created onlyfans >Pic related, I subscribed with a fake account in the bathroom as soon as I saw it just to see what content she was posting >She is posting naked pictures and some feet pics > I am still in love with her and I want to kill her What do I do bros? She did not even consult me if she was allowed to do it, why are females degrading themselves like this, she is f------ sexy why is she using only fans if I can provide her a good life.

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90% of greentexts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 5 KB JPG >be me >straight >he lubes my ass c--- deep in my hole 10/08/23(Sun)20:04:49 No.75000493 tldr lu
: Anonymous 5 KB JPG >be me >straight >he lubes my ass c--- deep in my hole 10/08/23(Sun)20:04:49 No.75000493 tldr lu

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Anon fills up his tank | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/09/23 (Mon)03:21:08 No.907363646 ► >>907363882 >>907363961 >>907364020 >>907364637 >>907365183 >>907365771 >>907366357 >>907366989 >>907367180 >>907367771 >>907368352 >>907368968 >>907369100 >>907369696 >>907369858 >>907369995 File: looking-great.jpg (15 KB, 278x230) >be virgin >meet girl on tinder >about to have sex for the first time >she asks for a condom >tell her check in the bed side table drawer >she checks >she goes silent >turns around holding a dildo >asks me if this is mine or.. ? >me panic >tell her i have a girlfriend sorry >pretend to fake cry >she pats me on the head >tells me it's good to be honest but she is going to leave >she doesn't want to get involved with a cheating relationship >ok thanks >bye >bye >phew that was close >finish myself off by riding that bad boy turning up to vibration speed 11 honestly the best orgasm i have had in weeks, the danger of her finding out it was mine was so exciting i am tempted to buy a strap-on and leave that in my bed side table drawer for the next time a girl comes round Anonymous 10/09/23 (Mon)03:51:04 No.907363882 >>907366175 >>907366635 >>907366682 >>907367323 >>907367648 >>907363646 >Told a non-truth to a female >Phallic fueled anus Fake and gay >>907364287 >>907364768 >>907365495
Anonymous 10/09/23 (Mon)03:21:08 No.907363646 ► >>907363882 >>907363961 >>907364020 >>907364637 >>907365183 >>907365771 >>907366357 >>907366989 >>907367180 >>907367771 >>907368352 >>907368968 >>907369100 >>907369696 >>907369858 >>907369995 File: looking-great.jpg (15 KB, 278x230) >be virgin >meet girl on tinder >about to have sex for the first time >she asks for a condom >tell her check in the bed side table drawer >she checks >she goes silent >turns around holding a dildo >asks me if this is mine or.. ? >me panic >tell her i have a girlfriend sorry >pretend to fake cry >she pats me on the head >tells me it's good to be honest but she is going to leave >she doesn't want to get involved with a cheating relationship >ok thanks >bye >bye >phew that was close >finish myself off by riding that bad boy turning up to vibration speed 11 honestly the best orgasm i have had in weeks, the danger of her finding out it was mine was so exciting i am tempted to buy a strap-on and leave that in my bed side table drawer for the next time a girl comes round Anonymous 10/09/23 (Mon)03:51:04 No.907363882 >>907366175 >>907366635 >>907366682 >>907367323 >>907367648 >>907363646 >Told a non-truth to a female >Phallic fueled anus Fake and gay >>907364287 >>907364768 >>907365495

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Anon is from Ireland | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/11/23(Wed)16:16:31 No.75029398 [Reply] >>75029404 The British Government has no right in Ireland, never had any right in Ireland, and never can have any right in Ireland. Wake up, Northern Irish brothers. Time to take back what's ours. Anonymous 10/11/23(Wed)16:17:43 No.75029404 >>75029398 (OP) Also Scotland Wales can't come (f------ bitch)
Anonymous 10/11/23(Wed)16:16:31 No.75029398 [Reply] >>75029404 The British Government has no right in Ireland, never had any right in Ireland, and never can have any right in Ireland. Wake up, Northern Irish brothers. Time to take back what's ours. Anonymous 10/11/23(Wed)16:17:43 No.75029404 >>75029398 (OP) Also Scotland Wales can't come (f------ bitch)

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1080TI chads stay winning since 2017 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 76 KB JPG 10/11/23(Wed)06:55:21 No.653750747 >2020: bro just buy the latest GPU, it'll future-proof you for life, no joke >2023: bro just buy the latest GPU, it'll future-proof you for li-
: Anonymous 76 KB JPG 10/11/23(Wed)06:55:21 No.653750747 >2020: bro just buy the latest GPU, it'll future-proof you for life, no joke >2023: bro just buy the latest GPU, it'll future-proof you for li-

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I really miss these happy endings | /r/Greentext

e: 1292114448.jpg-(13 KB, 268x311, 1291306912270.jpg) >roaring >She is a bear Anonymous 12/11/10(Sat) 19:40:48 No.294013XXX >Walk into gamestop >Hot ass girl cashier >"Hi welcome to gamestop!" >Get so nervous I start to fart >"Are you okay?" >She touches my shoulder >S--- pants >Ask if they have a bathroom >"Here, I'll show you." >Leads me by my hand into the bathroom >"Uhhh.....thanks" >She rips off my pants >S--- everywhere >She starts moaning >She starts smearing s--- all over her face >She starts roaring in ecstacy >Gets on the floor > Everybody walk the dinosaur. >Bends me over >Starts to lick my a------ clean >Realize bear is eating my a------ >Bear keeps nibbling on all of my asshairs, cleaning off dingleberries >S--- into bears mouth >Roars of pleasure, bear begins to swish my brown s--- in and out between it's teeth, I can see m >S--- more into bears mouth >Bear is now gurgling, struggling to swallow all of my s--- >Tears are running down it's face because it smells so bad >Bear is roaring and gurgling on my putrid s---. >Voice outside "WHAT THE F--- IS THAT!" >Manager opens the door
e: 1292114448.jpg-(13 KB, 268x311, 1291306912270.jpg) >roaring >She is a bear Anonymous 12/11/10(Sat) 19:40:48 No.294013XXX >Walk into gamestop >Hot ass girl cashier >"Hi welcome to gamestop!" >Get so nervous I start to fart >"Are you okay?" >She touches my shoulder >S--- pants >Ask if they have a bathroom >"Here, I'll show you." >Leads me by my hand into the bathroom >"Uhhh.....thanks" >She rips off my pants >S--- everywhere >She starts moaning >She starts smearing s--- all over her face >She starts roaring in ecstacy >Gets on the floor > Everybody walk the dinosaur. >Bends me over >Starts to lick my a------ clean >Realize bear is eating my a------ >Bear keeps nibbling on all of my asshairs, cleaning off dingleberries >S--- into bears mouth >Roars of pleasure, bear begins to swish my brown s--- in and out between it's teeth, I can see m >S--- more into bears mouth >Bear is now gurgling, struggling to swallow all of my s--- >Tears are running down it's face because it smells so bad >Bear is roaring and gurgling on my putrid s---. >Voice outside "WHAT THE F--- IS THAT!" >Manager opens the door

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Memes of the future are funny | /r/Greentext

>Be me, old f----- >Year 2080 >Grandkids come in >"Grandad look at this funny meme" >Proceeds to show me a glowing tesseract that sucks me in and makes me feel like I've just been imprisoned in a nightmarish hellscape for 10,000 years >falling through an endless tunnel of razorblades >bleeding out of every orifice >Ohgodmakeitstop >Ear-splitting noise and red light flashes before my eyes >I snap back to reality covered in sweat and vomit on the floor >"How funny is that Grandad Imaooo" >Mfw
>Be me, old f----- >Year 2080 >Grandkids come in >"Grandad look at this funny meme" >Proceeds to show me a glowing tesseract that sucks me in and makes me feel like I've just been imprisoned in a nightmarish hellscape for 10,000 years >falling through an endless tunnel of razorblades >bleeding out of every orifice >Ohgodmakeitstop >Ear-splitting noise and red light flashes before my eyes >I snap back to reality covered in sweat and vomit on the floor >"How funny is that Grandad Imaooo" >Mfw

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Anon turns 35. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/11/23(Wed)17:42:04 1.07 MB PNG No.75028194 >Turned 35 today >Got up to go to work >Hair going grey >Wrinkles here to stay >I remember when I was 15 >Doesn't even seem that long ago >Life is full of firsts when you're young >Entering the age of lasts >Unable to celebrate this birthday >1 year from being the age my mom was when she died My life is basically already over bros
: Anonymous 10/11/23(Wed)17:42:04 1.07 MB PNG No.75028194 >Turned 35 today >Got up to go to work >Hair going grey >Wrinkles here to stay >I remember when I was 15 >Doesn't even seem that long ago >Life is full of firsts when you're young >Entering the age of lasts >Unable to celebrate this birthday >1 year from being the age my mom was when she died My life is basically already over bros

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Just become atheists LOL LMAO | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous well /int/? ANTIFASCIS 276 KB JPG : Anonymous Quelb HASAN PIKER 10/11/23(Wed)06:26:04 No.188483435 >Palestinians should get reparations for mistreatment >Palestinians and Israelis live together in one country that is neither Islamic nor Jewish. One neutral country Do you agree with his solution? IM COMING FOR YOU 10/11/23(Wed)06:28:23 No.188483496 ZN DA samhyde_4.jpg 33 KB JPG
: Anonymous well /int/? ANTIFASCIS 276 KB JPG : Anonymous Quelb HASAN PIKER 10/11/23(Wed)06:26:04 No.188483435 >Palestinians should get reparations for mistreatment >Palestinians and Israelis live together in one country that is neither Islamic nor Jewish. One neutral country Do you agree with his solution? IM COMING FOR YOU 10/11/23(Wed)06:28:23 No.188483496 ZN DA samhyde_4.jpg 33 KB JPG

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Mr Worldwide | /r/Greentext

20230912_181008.jpg 45 KB JPG >Be uber driver >Picks up emo girl >Plays Evanescence on the radio >Next ride >Pick up two black guys >Play Tupac >Next ride >Chinese couple >Play Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting >Get 5 stars every time
20230912_181008.jpg 45 KB JPG >Be uber driver >Picks up emo girl >Plays Evanescence on the radio >Next ride >Pick up two black guys >Play Tupac >Next ride >Chinese couple >Play Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting >Get 5 stars every time

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Anon reliving the good old days | /r/Greentext

File: giga-chad.jpg (83 KB, 1280x1651) I was a Chad 8 year old Anonymous 10/10/23(Tue)23:04:38 No.907457746 A girl who went to my primary school just reminded me of the s--- I got up to. heres two >Be me, 8 >At school talent show >Decide to troll the crowd >Scream in agony on stage for several minutes >once complete i show my leg that had blood on it >don't remember how i got the blood there >at the end the audience claps they were too scared of my Chadish behaviour >Be me 8 >see girl >give her doll >tell her its our child >refuse to eleborate >move school why was 8 year old me so f------ confident? I wish i was still like that
File: giga-chad.jpg (83 KB, 1280x1651) I was a Chad 8 year old Anonymous 10/10/23(Tue)23:04:38 No.907457746 A girl who went to my primary school just reminded me of the s--- I got up to. heres two >Be me, 8 >At school talent show >Decide to troll the crowd >Scream in agony on stage for several minutes >once complete i show my leg that had blood on it >don't remember how i got the blood there >at the end the audience claps they were too scared of my Chadish behaviour >Be me 8 >see girl >give her doll >tell her its our child >refuse to eleborate >move school why was 8 year old me so f------ confident? I wish i was still like that

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