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anon is wary of the shower demons | /r/Greentext

File: peepo-poo-poo.gif (849 KB, 498x498) O Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)21:24:46 No.875643951 s------- routine >enter bathroom >make sure i have tp >lock door (i live with people) >check for the shower demons >sit on toilet >s---
File: peepo-poo-poo.gif (849 KB, 498x498) O Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)21:24:46 No.875643951 s------- routine >enter bathroom >make sure i have tp >lock door (i live with people) >check for the shower demons >sit on toilet >s---

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Anon is a terrible human being | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/21 (Fri)09:46:19 No.864620424 >be me, 2005 >10 years old, had moved to a new school 2 years ago >keep in touch with old friends via RuneScape >one of their moms dies from 216 KB JPG cancer, has a mildly abusive dad with temper >go to funeral, first time l've seen this friend since I moved >he's really sad but handling it well, we talk about RuneScape and I tell him I can help level his skills >he gives me his password >I steal all of his valuable stuff, change the password, and sell his account to one of my friends at my new school for $5 >never talked to the old friend again Mfw I realize I was a sociopath as a child
: Anonymous 10/08/21 (Fri)09:46:19 No.864620424 >be me, 2005 >10 years old, had moved to a new school 2 years ago >keep in touch with old friends via RuneScape >one of their moms dies from 216 KB JPG cancer, has a mildly abusive dad with temper >go to funeral, first time l've seen this friend since I moved >he's really sad but handling it well, we talk about RuneScape and I tell him I can help level his skills >he gives me his password >I steal all of his valuable stuff, change the password, and sell his account to one of my friends at my new school for $5 >never talked to the old friend again Mfw I realize I was a sociopath as a child

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mfw its hot! | /r/Greentext

File: poggers.jpg (50 KB, 778x778) O Anonymous 04/28/19(Sun)18:02:23 No.798464277 [Reply] >be me >5 yrs old >in kitchen >watch mom cook >looks at hotplate >about to touch it >mom stop me and says "it's very hot don't touch it" >looks at her and proceeds either way >mfw it's hot
File: poggers.jpg (50 KB, 778x778) O Anonymous 04/28/19(Sun)18:02:23 No.798464277 [Reply] >be me >5 yrs old >in kitchen >watch mom cook >looks at hotplate >about to touch it >mom stop me and says "it's very hot don't touch it" >looks at her and proceeds either way >mfw it's hot

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woman anon | /r/Greentext

File: 1649042136095m.jpg (77 KB, 1024x759) Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)09:22:53 No.68060806 [Reply] >>68062564 >>68062822 >talk to a white guy who uses 4chan >he's insane, manipulative, uses me >start talking to a brown guy from 4chan >he's an actual nice person, cares for me, is enjoyable to be around Interesting + 20 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)11:49:19 No.68062266 File: image_2022-04-03_224919.png (89 KB, 600x464) >>68062292 >>68062160 WOMAN? GETT OFFF MYYYYY BOARDDDDDDDDD
File: 1649042136095m.jpg (77 KB, 1024x759) Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)09:22:53 No.68060806 [Reply] >>68062564 >>68062822 >talk to a white guy who uses 4chan >he's insane, manipulative, uses me >start talking to a brown guy from 4chan >he's an actual nice person, cares for me, is enjoyable to be around Interesting + 20 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)11:49:19 No.68062266 File: image_2022-04-03_224919.png (89 KB, 600x464) >>68062292 >>68062160 WOMAN? GETT OFFF MYYYYY BOARDDDDDDDDD

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Anon analyses Russian tactics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)15:23:12 No.52832736 >Russia is losing >Russia isn't achieving their objectives >Russia's style of war isn't good >Putin is a failure >this is a military failure What you Ukrops don't understand is that Putin has developed a new style of war 112 KB JPG called Beweglichertorpfostenkrieg When you don't achieve objectives, simply change your objectives You cannot be defeated if you decide at the last second that it was part of your plan the whole time This is fifth generation warfare
: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)15:23:12 No.52832736 >Russia is losing >Russia isn't achieving their objectives >Russia's style of war isn't good >Putin is a failure >this is a military failure What you Ukrops don't understand is that Putin has developed a new style of war 112 KB JPG called Beweglichertorpfostenkrieg When you don't achieve objectives, simply change your objectives You cannot be defeated if you decide at the last second that it was part of your plan the whole time This is fifth generation warfare

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Anon has a schizo meltdown | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)18:02:00 No.15768003 How do I cook this massive Wal Mart steak? 2.4 MB JPG : Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)18:06:28 No.15768042 >>15768003 (OP) # >massive - mass - Massachusetts >Wal Mart - Wal - Walled >Cook - crook- crooked >steak - stake-wood- woods I know this is your way of telling me that I was wrong and I don't find it very funny. Maybe you won't find it funny anymore now that I let everyone see what you're doing. I'm not afraid of you anymore and I have nothing left to lose. >>15768066 # >>15768117 # >>15768172 # >>15768585 # >>15768978 # >>15769096 # >>15769102 # >>15769399 #
: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)18:02:00 No.15768003 How do I cook this massive Wal Mart steak? 2.4 MB JPG : Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)18:06:28 No.15768042 >>15768003 (OP) # >massive - mass - Massachusetts >Wal Mart - Wal - Walled >Cook - crook- crooked >steak - stake-wood- woods I know this is your way of telling me that I was wrong and I don't find it very funny. Maybe you won't find it funny anymore now that I let everyone see what you're doing. I'm not afraid of you anymore and I have nothing left to lose. >>15768066 # >>15768117 # >>15768172 # >>15768585 # >>15768978 # >>15769096 # >>15769102 # >>15769399 #

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Tales from 4chan | /r/Greentext

>greentext >get a match on tinder >see who it is >some cute girl >l'll give it 5 minutes until she unmatches >it was actually 10 minutes until she unmatched 33 KB JPG
>greentext >get a match on tinder >see who it is >some cute girl >l'll give it 5 minutes until she unmatches >it was actually 10 minutes until she unmatched 33 KB JPG

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anon takes a cab | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21 (Fri)13:30:42 No.855507130 >on a night out >absolutely twatted >no car >call a cab >cab shows up, Nigerian driver >black as midnight >he keeps trying to talk to me >whygod.jpeg 245 KB JPG >at least his accent is kinda cool >notice he's driving by people waving at the car >"hey bud, shouldn't you pick those people up?" >"oh, them? I'm not driving them anywhere, they are black." what.
: Anonymous 05/28/21 (Fri)13:30:42 No.855507130 >on a night out >absolutely twatted >no car >call a cab >cab shows up, Nigerian driver >black as midnight >he keeps trying to talk to me >whygod.jpeg 245 KB JPG >at least his accent is kinda cool >notice he's driving by people waving at the car >"hey bud, shouldn't you pick those people up?" >"oh, them? I'm not driving them anywhere, they are black." what.

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Anon becomes an incel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)22:46:08 No.842434393 >download tinder >every girl looks about the same >they all have stupid bios >every match I get acts like they're too good for me > finally have enough of the b------- >start trolling for the fun of it seeing 267 KB PNG as I got nowhere before >act like a complete a------ >put pics up of me in my buddies C63 AMG >pictures of me leaning on the car etc >put job down as lawyer >lie saying I live in a rich neighborhood >post pics of a random pool with a view >start matching like crazy >girls message me first everytime >a lot asking about the car >be a d--- and tell them their t--- aren't big enough to ride in it they aren't pretty enough to be seen in it etc. >a lot of them respond with lols and laughing emojis remaining friendly >tell me how funny I am >some offer to suck my d---/ f--- me in the car or by "my pool" >realize how awesome life could be if I had money >get depressed >realize what a loser I am >this back fired tremendously
: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)22:46:08 No.842434393 >download tinder >every girl looks about the same >they all have stupid bios >every match I get acts like they're too good for me > finally have enough of the b------- >start trolling for the fun of it seeing 267 KB PNG as I got nowhere before >act like a complete a------ >put pics up of me in my buddies C63 AMG >pictures of me leaning on the car etc >put job down as lawyer >lie saying I live in a rich neighborhood >post pics of a random pool with a view >start matching like crazy >girls message me first everytime >a lot asking about the car >be a d--- and tell them their t--- aren't big enough to ride in it they aren't pretty enough to be seen in it etc. >a lot of them respond with lols and laughing emojis remaining friendly >tell me how funny I am >some offer to suck my d---/ f--- me in the car or by "my pool" >realize how awesome life could be if I had money >get depressed >realize what a loser I am >this back fired tremendously

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Anon misinterprets signs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/19(Sat)21:01:29 No.793449220 >She messages me everyday for six weeks straight >She is always interested in how my day was >"Wow anon! You're really good at guitar!" >"Wow anon! You're such a great 14 KB JPG song writer!" >"Anon, if you become a successful musician, remember me because I want to f--- you if you get famous" >"Wow anon! You have a really good taste in music!" >"Wow anon! You have a really good taste movies and TV shows >"Wow anon! You're so interesting" >"I don't get why I'm with my bf, I have way more fun and way better conversations with you!" >"Anon imagine if we were going out" >"Anon remember when I said that l'd date you if my friend broke up with her bf? She broke up with him LOL!" >"Anon you're so talented and kind and caring, I love being with you" FFW 8 weeks of this >Femanon I like you, do you wanna go out some time? >"Jesus Christ Anon, no. Why do you even like me? I've never given you any hints." Why bother? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/23/19(Sat)21:03:47 No.793449359 no one cares f--
: Anonymous 02/23/19(Sat)21:01:29 No.793449220 >She messages me everyday for six weeks straight >She is always interested in how my day was >"Wow anon! You're really good at guitar!" >"Wow anon! You're such a great 14 KB JPG song writer!" >"Anon, if you become a successful musician, remember me because I want to f--- you if you get famous" >"Wow anon! You have a really good taste in music!" >"Wow anon! You have a really good taste movies and TV shows >"Wow anon! You're so interesting" >"I don't get why I'm with my bf, I have way more fun and way better conversations with you!" >"Anon imagine if we were going out" >"Anon remember when I said that l'd date you if my friend broke up with her bf? She broke up with him LOL!" >"Anon you're so talented and kind and caring, I love being with you" FFW 8 weeks of this >Femanon I like you, do you wanna go out some time? >"Jesus Christ Anon, no. Why do you even like me? I've never given you any hints." Why bother? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/23/19(Sat)21:03:47 No.793449359 no one cares f--

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Anon plays steam | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)09:25:54 No.63176471 >open steam library >scroll down >scroll up >scroll down again >sigh, close steam 134 KB PNG every f------ time
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)09:25:54 No.63176471 >open steam library >scroll down >scroll up >scroll down again >sigh, close steam 134 KB PNG every f------ time

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anon is a raccoon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)19:50:36 No.4123334 13-15-9-11-13-17-32m.jpg 57 KB JPG >knocks over your trash cans
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)19:50:36 No.4123334 13-15-9-11-13-17-32m.jpg 57 KB JPG >knocks over your trash cans

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Anon likes music history | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)21:12:20 No.109695147 How is it influential? To me it sounds like generic 60s rock 195 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)21:20:44 No.109695256 Way too many people take the Beatles for granted and look at their output with the hindsight of all the stuff that followed in their wake. Rubber Soul was not the quantum leap from boy band to Important Artistes that rock critic orthodoxy preaches, but it was still an essential stepping stone to getting pop music some cultural legitimacy and inspiring the band's competition to reach higher. TM : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)21:23:17 No.109695293 >how is it influential? >it sounds like all the other stuff it influenced
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)21:12:20 No.109695147 How is it influential? To me it sounds like generic 60s rock 195 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)21:20:44 No.109695256 Way too many people take the Beatles for granted and look at their output with the hindsight of all the stuff that followed in their wake. Rubber Soul was not the quantum leap from boy band to Important Artistes that rock critic orthodoxy preaches, but it was still an essential stepping stone to getting pop music some cultural legitimacy and inspiring the band's competition to reach higher. TM : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)21:23:17 No.109695293 >how is it influential? >it sounds like all the other stuff it influenced

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Motives beyond comprehension | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)10:19:24 No.52824975 83n39.jpg 69 KB JPG >invades country >achieves no objectives >loses hundreds of pieces of armor and thousands of soldiers >refuses to elaborate >leaves >>52825012 # >>52825065 # >>52825136 # >>52825195 # >>52825337 # >>52825846 #
: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)10:19:24 No.52824975 83n39.jpg 69 KB JPG >invades country >achieves no objectives >loses hundreds of pieces of armor and thousands of soldiers >refuses to elaborate >leaves >>52825012 # >>52825065 # >>52825136 # >>52825195 # >>52825337 # >>52825846 #

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Anon lives in 2096 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/20(Wed)06:19:34 No.818514482 >the year is 2096 >getting ready for my date at the cyberbar >dress up in formal, carbon-neutral datewear >leave apartment and lock door with microchip implant >hop in old Tesla Model Z >arrive at location in 2 minutes because 358 KB PNG optimized autonomous traffic >walk up to date, who I met on atheistconnect.net >cyber-visor blocking 90% of their face >"Consent to send sound data to you?" >granted >identifies themself as an organic cis-gendered macro- anion >hot >buy her a drink of vegan, flavored amino acids and vitamins >she tells me her hobbies are designing VR houses and going outside >tell her I collect old, forgotten bitcoin hashes >Ask her if she wants to leave and head back to my place >"consent confirmed" >immediately we start eating each other's ass as foreplay >things start getting heavy >she sticks her cyberclit in my prostate >l orgasm 27 times before she halts the program >we upload our consciousness to a computer so we can experience sex as 29 different alien lifeforms >exit virtual reality >"I had a really Elon time with you, anon." >leaves and never hear from her again The future is f------ awesome
: Anonymous 01/15/20(Wed)06:19:34 No.818514482 >the year is 2096 >getting ready for my date at the cyberbar >dress up in formal, carbon-neutral datewear >leave apartment and lock door with microchip implant >hop in old Tesla Model Z >arrive at location in 2 minutes because 358 KB PNG optimized autonomous traffic >walk up to date, who I met on atheistconnect.net >cyber-visor blocking 90% of their face >"Consent to send sound data to you?" >granted >identifies themself as an organic cis-gendered macro- anion >hot >buy her a drink of vegan, flavored amino acids and vitamins >she tells me her hobbies are designing VR houses and going outside >tell her I collect old, forgotten bitcoin hashes >Ask her if she wants to leave and head back to my place >"consent confirmed" >immediately we start eating each other's ass as foreplay >things start getting heavy >she sticks her cyberclit in my prostate >l orgasm 27 times before she halts the program >we upload our consciousness to a computer so we can experience sex as 29 different alien lifeforms >exit virtual reality >"I had a really Elon time with you, anon." >leaves and never hear from her again The future is f------ awesome

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anon hates normies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)23:02:16 No.67954092 >normies force me to go to family gathering >at the dinner table a baby sits next to me >he drops his hat >pick it up 43 KB JPG >he drops it again >pick it up >the little f----- does it again >pick ut up >he does it again >get mad and shout at him >he starts to cry >every single normie goes a------ AAAAAAAAAA I hate normies so f------ much 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)00:46:22 No.67955235 >>67954092 (OP) # After the second time you should have put the hat on your own head and given the baby a smug look, that's instantly what came to mind as I read your post.
: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)23:02:16 No.67954092 >normies force me to go to family gathering >at the dinner table a baby sits next to me >he drops his hat >pick it up 43 KB JPG >he drops it again >pick it up >the little f----- does it again >pick ut up >he does it again >get mad and shout at him >he starts to cry >every single normie goes a------ AAAAAAAAAA I hate normies so f------ much 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)00:46:22 No.67955235 >>67954092 (OP) # After the second time you should have put the hat on your own head and given the baby a smug look, that's instantly what came to mind as I read your post.

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anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)06:25:03 No.68058761 >try to buy gun >kind of just hover around the hunting section Ishimin >dont get the courage to approach clerk 51 KB JPG >go home 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)06:25:03 No.68058761 >try to buy gun >kind of just hover around the hunting section Ishimin >dont get the courage to approach clerk 51 KB JPG >go home 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Why is anon like this? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)16:43:11 No.68058253 >argue with a coworker about a project >give him one argument after another to support my point >coworker finally agrees with me >suddenly want to argue the opposite opinion >tell him "nevermind you were right before" >he gives me a death stare and leaves the 23 KB JPG room why am I like this : Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)16:43:59 No.68058266 >>68058253 (OP). Because you subconsciously wish to take d--- in the ass. >>68058307 #
: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)16:43:11 No.68058253 >argue with a coworker about a project >give him one argument after another to support my point >coworker finally agrees with me >suddenly want to argue the opposite opinion >tell him "nevermind you were right before" >he gives me a death stare and leaves the 23 KB JPG room why am I like this : Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)16:43:59 No.68058266 >>68058253 (OP). Because you subconsciously wish to take d--- in the ass. >>68058307 #

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Anon solves a problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)09:36:03 No.875662094 ok f------ take notes. >be in public >walk up to hot girl and tell her you want to f--- her >if she says yes, then f--- her. >if she says no or acts disgusted, then turn to the side and show her the earpiece in your ear and that you are actually just Don't resign. 128 KB JPG talking on the phone and she feels so embarrassed. there idiots I just solved f------ for you.
: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)09:36:03 No.875662094 ok f------ take notes. >be in public >walk up to hot girl and tell her you want to f--- her >if she says yes, then f--- her. >if she says no or acts disgusted, then turn to the side and show her the earpiece in your ear and that you are actually just Don't resign. 128 KB JPG talking on the phone and she feels so embarrassed. there idiots I just solved f------ for you.

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Anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

3h (4/3 16:53) · 68056000 9 Re · 0 Img · JPG 292KB (1500 × 2100) 7 Replies >34 year old man >haven't beat off to real women in almost a decade >every single day I beat to cute teenage anime girls >can't even get hard to real women anymore and just want to blow ropes to teenage anime girls Am I irreparably broken?
3h (4/3 16:53) · 68056000 9 Re · 0 Img · JPG 292KB (1500 × 2100) 7 Replies >34 year old man >haven't beat off to real women in almost a decade >every single day I beat to cute teenage anime girls >can't even get hard to real women anymore and just want to blow ropes to teenage anime girls Am I irreparably broken?

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