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Anon is a chad because he did the right thing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come 17 KB JPG >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?
: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come 17 KB JPG >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

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Anon gets political | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: mqlYaJgP 05/14/20(Thu)00:07:29 No.257389974 I literally just hate America. I don't have any other politics. 78 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: mqlYaJgP 05/14/20(Thu)00:07:29 No.257389974 I literally just hate America. I don't have any other politics. 78 KB JPG

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Anon dad is a retard | /r/Greentext


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Anon eats a popsicle | /r/Greentext

>eating popsicle with my friend >it looks phallic >we lol a bit >lick it seductively while looking at him >he is laughing his ass off 366 KB PNG >put it in my mouth and push it as deep as i can >gag and then pull it out >i look like one of those hentai girls, spit trailing and everything >he stops laughing and then looks shocked >look down >rock hard
>eating popsicle with my friend >it looks phallic >we lol a bit >lick it seductively while looking at him >he is laughing his ass off 366 KB PNG >put it in my mouth and push it as deep as i can >gag and then pull it out >i look like one of those hentai girls, spit trailing and everything >he stops laughing and then looks shocked >look down >rock hard

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Anon loves Japan | /r/Greentext

File: beautiful-asian-girls-14.jpg (46 KB, 500x667) O Anonymous (ID: pgJXMIR6) 08/09/14(Sat)13:29:10 No.561544928 >561545137 >>561545261 >561545308 >>561545328 >>561545349 >>561545429 >>561545512 >>561545519 >>561545612 >>561545660 >561546429 >>561546462 >>561547056 >>561547435 >>561547457 >>561549460 >>561549612 >>561549750 >>561550334 >>561551165 >>561551215 >>561552029 >>561552132 F--- /b/ I think I'm in serious s---. >Be me >20 >Enough money to stay in Japan for a few months >Go to Tokyo >Slowly find the places where Japanese women who want westerners hang out >After maybe 2 weeks I end up in a casual encounter >Repeat quite a few times >End of time here >Go back to UK Now my concern here is I slept with around 30 Japanese women ranging from 18-47 3/4 of them were 18-24 More than half of them were virgins. I got an STD and STI check last week and luckily they came back negative with anything. My concern is I may have gotten quite a lot of them pregnant. >Didn't use condoms, didn't ask if they were on the pill, always cummed inside of them. What do. * O Anonymous (ID: Hj4Frset ) 08/09/14(Sat)13:30:27 No.561545124 >>561545225 >>561545320 >>561545713 >>561545790 >>561545860 >>561545870 >>561547236 >>561548428 >>561549282 >>561549676 >>561549757 >>561549980 >>561551212 >>561551317 >>561551682 >>561551730 >>561551927 Genghis Khan would be proud.
File: beautiful-asian-girls-14.jpg (46 KB, 500x667) O Anonymous (ID: pgJXMIR6) 08/09/14(Sat)13:29:10 No.561544928 >561545137 >>561545261 >561545308 >>561545328 >>561545349 >>561545429 >>561545512 >>561545519 >>561545612 >>561545660 >561546429 >>561546462 >>561547056 >>561547435 >>561547457 >>561549460 >>561549612 >>561549750 >>561550334 >>561551165 >>561551215 >>561552029 >>561552132 F--- /b/ I think I'm in serious s---. >Be me >20 >Enough money to stay in Japan for a few months >Go to Tokyo >Slowly find the places where Japanese women who want westerners hang out >After maybe 2 weeks I end up in a casual encounter >Repeat quite a few times >End of time here >Go back to UK Now my concern here is I slept with around 30 Japanese women ranging from 18-47 3/4 of them were 18-24 More than half of them were virgins. I got an STD and STI check last week and luckily they came back negative with anything. My concern is I may have gotten quite a lot of them pregnant. >Didn't use condoms, didn't ask if they were on the pill, always cummed inside of them. What do. * O Anonymous (ID: Hj4Frset ) 08/09/14(Sat)13:30:27 No.561545124 >>561545225 >>561545320 >>561545713 >>561545790 >>561545860 >>561545870 >>561547236 >>561548428 >>561549282 >>561549676 >>561549757 >>561549980 >>561551212 >>561551317 >>561551682 >>561551730 >>561551927 Genghis Khan would be proud.

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Anon works | /r/Greentext


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Anon buys a lobster | /r/Greentext


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anon wants a gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/17(Mon)20:06:00 No.78200281 How do I get an Italian MILF gf? 29 KB PNG >>78200328 # >>78200334 # 01/09/17(Mon)20:07:52 No.78200328 89 Anonymous >>78200281 # Just keep posting frogs l'm sure things will work out
: Anonymous 01/09/17(Mon)20:06:00 No.78200281 How do I get an Italian MILF gf? 29 KB PNG >>78200328 # >>78200334 # 01/09/17(Mon)20:07:52 No.78200328 89 Anonymous >>78200281 # Just keep posting frogs l'm sure things will work out

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Anon hacks the system | /r/Greentext


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Anons dad is worried?? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)01:08:27 No.874816352 now why would a LEMON want to eat that >be me BROCC >16 at the time >parents getting divorced >moved states, no friends >no money >no anything >start this weird coping mechanism 66 KB JPG >I collect business cards >only the ones that are appealing to me >some are unique with design, pop up cards, holographic, s--- like that >I collect 57 cards altogether >have no one to show them to but I look forward to showing someone some day >go out for a bike ride one day >that was my escape at the time >would toss my headphones on listen to some Mac Miller and go >come back and my box of cards is gone >look for them everywhere >ask my dad if he's seen my cards "I've had it with you and those damn cards son, they're just cards it's not normal" >he hands me the box >all the cards are cut to tiny pieces >I was so mad I actually hit my dad >he got up and started hitting me >l eventually got the upper hand and knocked him over and started kicking >l was instantly scared l'd go to jail so I ran away >l biked as far as I could crying >he took the one thing I had at that time and destroyed it >l was homeless for 5 months until I was able to contact my mom >haven't seen or spoken to my dad since >it wasn't about the cards really, it was about him taking away all that I had other than my bike and my iPad 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)01:08:27 No.874816352 now why would a LEMON want to eat that >be me BROCC >16 at the time >parents getting divorced >moved states, no friends >no money >no anything >start this weird coping mechanism 66 KB JPG >I collect business cards >only the ones that are appealing to me >some are unique with design, pop up cards, holographic, s--- like that >I collect 57 cards altogether >have no one to show them to but I look forward to showing someone some day >go out for a bike ride one day >that was my escape at the time >would toss my headphones on listen to some Mac Miller and go >come back and my box of cards is gone >look for them everywhere >ask my dad if he's seen my cards "I've had it with you and those damn cards son, they're just cards it's not normal" >he hands me the box >all the cards are cut to tiny pieces >I was so mad I actually hit my dad >he got up and started hitting me >l eventually got the upper hand and knocked him over and started kicking >l was instantly scared l'd go to jail so I ran away >l biked as far as I could crying >he took the one thing I had at that time and destroyed it >l was homeless for 5 months until I was able to contact my mom >haven't seen or spoken to my dad since >it wasn't about the cards really, it was about him taking away all that I had other than my bike and my iPad 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon plans a surprise | /r/Greentext


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Anon talks about GTA V | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/22(Sat)08:21:56 No.872537376 >start mission >drive from point A to point B >kill X amount of NPC's on point B >drive from point B to point C >mission complete >repeat it 70x times >most profitable video game in history DRand Sthert auto 70 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/12/22(Sat)08:21:56 No.872537376 >start mission >drive from point A to point B >kill X amount of NPC's on point B >drive from point B to point C >mission complete >repeat it 70x times >most profitable video game in history DRand Sthert auto 70 KB JPG

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Anon got a job offer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)14:02:04 No.26061202 I had a job offer a week ago, and they offered me a wage 3x times higher than I have now, and like 15 times I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'm OOING. higher than average wage. I am probably should be glad, but I am actually stressed as f--- to the point I can barely sleep, because I just don't know anything. I am f------ stupid. They think I am programmer but I have no f------ idea how to code, and all I did when I worked as programmer before - just google a ready or half-ready solution, adapted it slightly and my job is done. And all my colleagues were very nice to me and think I am a good developer and often ask me for some advises, despite I don't know s---. And I usually just google while we are talking, and find a solution they need, 98 KB JPG but I don't know s--- really. And it's all feels surreal. It's like I am surrounded by people who deny reality, and the most scary thing for me is - my new colleagues on my new work will actually see straight that I am dumb as f---. I know about impostor syndrome, but it's really not my case, I am actually just dumb and lucky. I don't know what to do. Should I just refuse and stop stressing about it, or accept and what happens happens?
: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)14:02:04 No.26061202 I had a job offer a week ago, and they offered me a wage 3x times higher than I have now, and like 15 times I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'm OOING. higher than average wage. I am probably should be glad, but I am actually stressed as f--- to the point I can barely sleep, because I just don't know anything. I am f------ stupid. They think I am programmer but I have no f------ idea how to code, and all I did when I worked as programmer before - just google a ready or half-ready solution, adapted it slightly and my job is done. And all my colleagues were very nice to me and think I am a good developer and often ask me for some advises, despite I don't know s---. And I usually just google while we are talking, and find a solution they need, 98 KB JPG but I don't know s--- really. And it's all feels surreal. It's like I am surrounded by people who deny reality, and the most scary thing for me is - my new colleagues on my new work will actually see straight that I am dumb as f---. I know about impostor syndrome, but it's really not my case, I am actually just dumb and lucky. I don't know what to do. Should I just refuse and stop stressing about it, or accept and what happens happens?

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Anon drops the little boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/20/15(Sun) 16:56:32 No.642249023 >Be me in science class >Have to design a container for an egg which will survive a 18 THAT'S A PADDLIN' meter drop 87 KB JPG >not that hard,throw some sponges in a Pringles container and cover it in black duct tape >looks like bomb >idea.jpeg >Writes in big letters on it "LITTLE BOY", named after bomb U.S dropped on Hiroshima >Fast forward to egg drop >No one really understand name of it >"This will be the egg drop to end all egg drops" I tell. >make direct eye contact with super Japanese girl >looks at me in horror >l drop the container without breaking eye contact >l whisper "bombs away" as it falls to the ground >Girl hasn't talked to me since >worth it
: Anonymous 09/20/15(Sun) 16:56:32 No.642249023 >Be me in science class >Have to design a container for an egg which will survive a 18 THAT'S A PADDLIN' meter drop 87 KB JPG >not that hard,throw some sponges in a Pringles container and cover it in black duct tape >looks like bomb >idea.jpeg >Writes in big letters on it "LITTLE BOY", named after bomb U.S dropped on Hiroshima >Fast forward to egg drop >No one really understand name of it >"This will be the egg drop to end all egg drops" I tell. >make direct eye contact with super Japanese girl >looks at me in horror >l drop the container without breaking eye contact >l whisper "bombs away" as it falls to the ground >Girl hasn't talked to me since >worth it

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Anon finds a hundred dollar bill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/17/22(Thu)16:35:47 No.67818979 >>67815896 (OP) # >26 >picked up a hundred dollar bill from the ground, super lucky! >guy rushes in >"Has anyone seen any cash laying on the ground?! I might have dropped it" >panic, I really want the money to pay parking tickets 143 KB PNG >point to a black guy leaving >"I saw that guy pick something up a while ago, idk what though" >leave quickly as the guy chases down the black man
: Anonymous 03/17/22(Thu)16:35:47 No.67818979 >>67815896 (OP) # >26 >picked up a hundred dollar bill from the ground, super lucky! >guy rushes in >"Has anyone seen any cash laying on the ground?! I might have dropped it" >panic, I really want the money to pay parking tickets 143 KB PNG >point to a black guy leaving >"I saw that guy pick something up a while ago, idk what though" >leave quickly as the guy chases down the black man

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A German anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 106419206 Hace 1h ... A brazilian walks into a bar, but he can't afford anything, so he leaves immediately 38.7 kB JPG 5 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 106419273 Hace 1h ... This is the pinnacle of German humour and it's pathetic. I can imagine him snorting to himself as he typed this, as if this was an absolute spirit bomb of a comment, and then reading it out loud in his disgusting language "schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung" before falling into a coughing fit from the laughter. I almost pity him.
Anonymous 106419206 Hace 1h ... A brazilian walks into a bar, but he can't afford anything, so he leaves immediately 38.7 kB JPG 5 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 106419273 Hace 1h ... This is the pinnacle of German humour and it's pathetic. I can imagine him snorting to himself as he typed this, as if this was an absolute spirit bomb of a comment, and then reading it out loud in his disgusting language "schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung" before falling into a coughing fit from the laughter. I almost pity him.

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Anon orders a record | /r/Greentext

Mint Jamx >be me >discover awesome Japanese jazz fusion band "Casiopea" >love them so much order vinyl record from eBay japan >it arrives in immaculate condition along with two little origami cranes Casiopea 130 KB JPG and a pack of tea >little hand written note in English (guy put huge effort into making it look nice) from the seller hoping for the buying experience to be positive and is sealed with real wax seal >make the tea and put the record on in my finished basement >listening to mint jams with origami crane friends >start to cry because nobody will ever love me as much as that random Japanese man >tea is f------ bomb ass delicious- I thought I just didn't like tea before that >sadness becomes warm feeling of gratitude and joy >doomer to bloomer just like that Is this why y'all love weeb s---? That was one of the nicer evenings in my life.
Mint Jamx >be me >discover awesome Japanese jazz fusion band "Casiopea" >love them so much order vinyl record from eBay japan >it arrives in immaculate condition along with two little origami cranes Casiopea 130 KB JPG and a pack of tea >little hand written note in English (guy put huge effort into making it look nice) from the seller hoping for the buying experience to be positive and is sealed with real wax seal >make the tea and put the record on in my finished basement >listening to mint jams with origami crane friends >start to cry because nobody will ever love me as much as that random Japanese man >tea is f------ bomb ass delicious- I thought I just didn't like tea before that >sadness becomes warm feeling of gratitude and joy >doomer to bloomer just like that Is this why y'all love weeb s---? That was one of the nicer evenings in my life.

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Anon likes Seinfeld | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)19:41:52 No.874802434 >be me >watch Seinfeld >enjoy Seinfeld >bumble date I was ready to get jiggy with it. >invite her over >pop on Netflix >she sees Seinfeld in my feed 23 KB JPG >starts lambasting me with questions >"Do you watch that show? Aren't they racist? Why would you watch that white ass s---?" >getting real p----- off so tell her l'm not going to discuss it if it's going to be an issue andI wasnt watching it with her anyhow >watch some other b------- instead for background noise >kissing is getting heavy >tell her to suck my d--- >she goes down >l bust in her mouth not even 5 mins later >decide to be a d--- because she's not really cute kinda fat and dissed Seinfeld >"That was great, but you gotta go I was planning on watching Seinfeld >she gets mad >"I just swallowed your f------ c-- what the f--- you f------ a------" >grabs her things and leaves slamming my door >go back to watching Seinfeld >continue to enjoy Seinfeld
: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)19:41:52 No.874802434 >be me >watch Seinfeld >enjoy Seinfeld >bumble date I was ready to get jiggy with it. >invite her over >pop on Netflix >she sees Seinfeld in my feed 23 KB JPG >starts lambasting me with questions >"Do you watch that show? Aren't they racist? Why would you watch that white ass s---?" >getting real p----- off so tell her l'm not going to discuss it if it's going to be an issue andI wasnt watching it with her anyhow >watch some other b------- instead for background noise >kissing is getting heavy >tell her to suck my d--- >she goes down >l bust in her mouth not even 5 mins later >decide to be a d--- because she's not really cute kinda fat and dissed Seinfeld >"That was great, but you gotta go I was planning on watching Seinfeld >she gets mad >"I just swallowed your f------ c-- what the f--- you f------ a------" >grabs her things and leaves slamming my door >go back to watching Seinfeld >continue to enjoy Seinfeld

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Anon loves the fine arts of film | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)12:29:36 No.874776733 >Be me, on Saint Patrick's Day >Get drunk, feel like hanging out at the bar >In line for the bathrooms, one girl is absolutely wasted >Leaning on me, talking to me >Seems nice enough, 8/10 LIKE A VIRGIN 72 KB JPG >We get to talking about movies, she keeps giggling and putting her hands on my chest >l ask if she'd ever seen Moulin Rouge >"No, Anon, do you want to show it to me?" >Say sure, offer to take her back to my place to watch Moulin Rouge >She's leaning on me the whole walk home >Get into bed, open up my laptop, put on the movie >She gets in bed with me, real close >Keeps putting her hands on me, eventually gets to my pants >l don't understand that she thought "watching Moulin Rouge together" was a euphemism >I keep going "no, no, look, this scene is really good" >l'm enjoying the movie very much >She eventually gets bored, says she has to go home >"Okay, have a good night" >Finish watching Moulin Rouge It's such a great movie.
: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)12:29:36 No.874776733 >Be me, on Saint Patrick's Day >Get drunk, feel like hanging out at the bar >In line for the bathrooms, one girl is absolutely wasted >Leaning on me, talking to me >Seems nice enough, 8/10 LIKE A VIRGIN 72 KB JPG >We get to talking about movies, she keeps giggling and putting her hands on my chest >l ask if she'd ever seen Moulin Rouge >"No, Anon, do you want to show it to me?" >Say sure, offer to take her back to my place to watch Moulin Rouge >She's leaning on me the whole walk home >Get into bed, open up my laptop, put on the movie >She gets in bed with me, real close >Keeps putting her hands on me, eventually gets to my pants >l don't understand that she thought "watching Moulin Rouge together" was a euphemism >I keep going "no, no, look, this scene is really good" >l'm enjoying the movie very much >She eventually gets bored, says she has to go home >"Okay, have a good night" >Finish watching Moulin Rouge It's such a great movie.

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Anon trolls a stacy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)22:48:20 No.67863019 >a female coworker sent me picture of her in underwear over ig without me ever asking >screenshotted it (not to spread it around) >ig actually alerts the other user their message got screenshot 186 KB PNG >now coworker is mad
: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)22:48:20 No.67863019 >a female coworker sent me picture of her in underwear over ig without me ever asking >screenshotted it (not to spread it around) >ig actually alerts the other user their message got screenshot 186 KB PNG >now coworker is mad

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