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Anon is virgin | /r/Greentext


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Anon and his grandpa | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)12:30:11 No.874521720 story time CAT >me 25 >on the job >co worker is about 3 times my age >can literally be my grandfather (65) >we developed a father son 38 KB JPG relationship >really care for each other >have deep conversation >holidays come around >timetocelebrate.mkv >we have a toast and some paid days off >work place orginsed a paid worker trip to have fun >me and grandpa are sitting together on the bus >talk a bunch >he shows me pictures of his daughters (my age split 5/7 both 28 26) >we talk about them and I talk about my family too >he throws of the younger one is single >invite me to have a Sunday bbq at his place with his family and more work friends >l go >most of the workers are his age im the youngest man in the company the next in line is 42 >l arrive and he introduce me to his familiy >the younger daughter starts a conversation with me >we get along >we start dating >grandpa master plan worked out anons did I just f--- my sister?
: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)12:30:11 No.874521720 story time CAT >me 25 >on the job >co worker is about 3 times my age >can literally be my grandfather (65) >we developed a father son 38 KB JPG relationship >really care for each other >have deep conversation >holidays come around >timetocelebrate.mkv >we have a toast and some paid days off >work place orginsed a paid worker trip to have fun >me and grandpa are sitting together on the bus >talk a bunch >he shows me pictures of his daughters (my age split 5/7 both 28 26) >we talk about them and I talk about my family too >he throws of the younger one is single >invite me to have a Sunday bbq at his place with his family and more work friends >l go >most of the workers are his age im the youngest man in the company the next in line is 42 >l arrive and he introduce me to his familiy >the younger daughter starts a conversation with me >we get along >we start dating >grandpa master plan worked out anons did I just f--- my sister?

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Anon is having a good day | /r/Greentext


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Anon tries to woo a Ukrainian | /r/Greentext


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Anon being germ*n | /r/Greentext


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Anon tries a buttplug. | /r/Greentext

8 Anonymous | 50356119 1 hr. ago ... >be me >gf wants me to buy her a buttplug >get curious >try it on myself >try to pull it out >oh f--- >pull as hard as i can without hurting myself but my anus is fighting back >suddenly the little handle thing comes off >oh god oh f--- >try to poop it out >doesn't come out 62.5 kB JPG >remember the thing where an egg can go into a bottle if you put something burning in the bottle >grab a large bottle with a large opening >throw burning piece of paper in it >put it up against a------ >oh f--- it hurts so f------ much >suddenly buttplug pops out >oh thank f------ god >get up >realize my a------ prolapsed >fuckfuckfuckfuCK >laying in bed with my legs up trying to suck my a------ back in for an hour >finally goes back in >i'm currently laying in bed naked, sweating and crying with an a------ the size of an egg >f--- you gf
8 Anonymous | 50356119 1 hr. ago ... >be me >gf wants me to buy her a buttplug >get curious >try it on myself >try to pull it out >oh f--- >pull as hard as i can without hurting myself but my anus is fighting back >suddenly the little handle thing comes off >oh god oh f--- >try to poop it out >doesn't come out 62.5 kB JPG >remember the thing where an egg can go into a bottle if you put something burning in the bottle >grab a large bottle with a large opening >throw burning piece of paper in it >put it up against a------ >oh f--- it hurts so f------ much >suddenly buttplug pops out >oh thank f------ god >get up >realize my a------ prolapsed >fuckfuckfuckfuCK >laying in bed with my legs up trying to suck my a------ back in for an hour >finally goes back in >i'm currently laying in bed naked, sweating and crying with an a------ the size of an egg >f--- you gf

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Anon feels good | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)15:36:46 No.847384614 >l just had a great s---. >Didn't have a terrible urge to go, no need to fight it while making my way to the bathroom, nothing. >Just walked there, sat down and s--- was done. 239 KB PNG >No struggle, no horrid smell, no dhiarrea, no splashing. >Cleaning up was great too, no blood, no pain, just smooth and easy. This genuinely made my day better. 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)15:36:46 No.847384614 >l just had a great s---. >Didn't have a terrible urge to go, no need to fight it while making my way to the bathroom, nothing. >Just walked there, sat down and s--- was done. 239 KB PNG >No struggle, no horrid smell, no dhiarrea, no splashing. >Cleaning up was great too, no blood, no pain, just smooth and easy. This genuinely made my day better. 3 Replies View Thread

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anon has a mutation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)19:16:18 No.67773225 remake.jpg 161 KB JPG >pure black, dark veins on my penis am i going to die? : Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)19:17:35 No.67773237 it's taking over... VENOM 1.28 MB JPG
: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)19:16:18 No.67773225 remake.jpg 161 KB JPG >pure black, dark veins on my penis am i going to die? : Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)19:17:35 No.67773237 it's taking over... VENOM 1.28 MB JPG

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Anon is a hero | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous (ID: +THQPKC6) F--- women 03/19/19(Tue)17:48:03 No.13062252 >walking home >guy kicking gf, screaming >intervene, guy pulls knife >legit seething by this point, pick up a brick and threaten to kill him >runs towards me, trips a few metres away, still swirling knife 177 KB PNG around and catching legs >Slam brick into head, instead death, call police and explain situation >Femoid says I attacked her and bf tried to protect her >Could well have have been found guilty of murder but guy was caught on dash cam and femoid who isn't a psychotic pos told the truth >post tuxedo Pepe on 4chan like I'm smug about it while still cry about the incident 3 months later
| Anonymous (ID: +THQPKC6) F--- women 03/19/19(Tue)17:48:03 No.13062252 >walking home >guy kicking gf, screaming >intervene, guy pulls knife >legit seething by this point, pick up a brick and threaten to kill him >runs towards me, trips a few metres away, still swirling knife 177 KB PNG around and catching legs >Slam brick into head, instead death, call police and explain situation >Femoid says I attacked her and bf tried to protect her >Could well have have been found guilty of murder but guy was caught on dash cam and femoid who isn't a psychotic pos told the truth >post tuxedo Pepe on 4chan like I'm smug about it while still cry about the incident 3 months later

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Anon is blind | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)07:26:44 No.4901415 >4901425 >>4901509 >>4901520 >>4902454 >>4907640 File: fregg jpg (23 KB, 446x362) >tfw i used to read in sunlight when i was younger. now i have cataracts. >tfw have to dictate my posts to my little brother. O Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)14:02:29 No.4902454 >4902474 >>4902650 >>4902673 >>4904173 >>4906512 2 >>4901415 >>4901520 "Can you repeat that back to me please"? "Yeah, that's it. Now attach a picture of a sad frog" ". a-a sad frog"? "Just open the folder labeled frog and feels'" "W-wha. what is this? There are hundreds of them. What are these for"? "Nevermind that. Just look for the one called fregg', that looks like it had a seizure and attach it." "Yes, that's perfect, you can send it now"
O Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)07:26:44 No.4901415 >4901425 >>4901509 >>4901520 >>4902454 >>4907640 File: fregg jpg (23 KB, 446x362) >tfw i used to read in sunlight when i was younger. now i have cataracts. >tfw have to dictate my posts to my little brother. O Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)14:02:29 No.4902454 >4902474 >>4902650 >>4902673 >>4904173 >>4906512 2 >>4901415 >>4901520 "Can you repeat that back to me please"? "Yeah, that's it. Now attach a picture of a sad frog" ". a-a sad frog"? "Just open the folder labeled frog and feels'" "W-wha. what is this? There are hundreds of them. What are these for"? "Nevermind that. Just look for the one called fregg', that looks like it had a seizure and attach it." "Yes, that's perfect, you can send it now"

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Anon gets special ed :) | /r/Greentext


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Anon has daddy issues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/22(Tue)22:59:32 No.874513872 >be my father >shove religion down my children's throats >talk about God constantly >drag them to church constantly >always yell and get angry at them 15 KB JPG >beat my children with a closed fist >take out second mortgage when my wife isn't paying attention to buy a sweet car and loose our home >cheat on my wife with her best friend >steal $30,000 from my wife (all the money to her name) to buy failing hotdog shop which only nets $6-7 a day in profit >gaslight her that divorce is a sin when she files for it >threaten to kill her boyfriend after a year of being divorced >propose to every woman I date >marry one after 2 weeks of dating >listen to her when she says I should abandon my children >dissappear from their lives forever >miss my first and probably only grandchilds birth and never meet her >miss my oldest sons wedding >miss raising my daughter altogether >miss her graduating highschool and college >write family a letter about how terrible they are in the eyes of God and how they all abandoned me as their father even though I peaced out first chance i got without even so much as a goodbye >call the police on my son when he writes threatening letter back in response F--- you, Dad. I hope you die alone and scared you f----- ass coward.
: Anonymous 03/15/22(Tue)22:59:32 No.874513872 >be my father >shove religion down my children's throats >talk about God constantly >drag them to church constantly >always yell and get angry at them 15 KB JPG >beat my children with a closed fist >take out second mortgage when my wife isn't paying attention to buy a sweet car and loose our home >cheat on my wife with her best friend >steal $30,000 from my wife (all the money to her name) to buy failing hotdog shop which only nets $6-7 a day in profit >gaslight her that divorce is a sin when she files for it >threaten to kill her boyfriend after a year of being divorced >propose to every woman I date >marry one after 2 weeks of dating >listen to her when she says I should abandon my children >dissappear from their lives forever >miss my first and probably only grandchilds birth and never meet her >miss my oldest sons wedding >miss raising my daughter altogether >miss her graduating highschool and college >write family a letter about how terrible they are in the eyes of God and how they all abandoned me as their father even though I peaced out first chance i got without even so much as a goodbye >call the police on my son when he writes threatening letter back in response F--- you, Dad. I hope you die alone and scared you f----- ass coward.

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Anon works as a phone salesman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and 110 КВ PNG just want to talk >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"
: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and 110 КВ PNG just want to talk >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"

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Anon plays Fortnite | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/19(Sun)23:49:54 No.790492379 >be me >been playing fortnite all day >need to s--- but too into game >decide to s--- myself just this once >done >feeling ashamed >storm closing in 28 KB JPG >hear mom coming towards my room >panic.exe >reach into my underwear and pull out the s---.. Try to throw it behind the bed to hide evidence >s--- hits wall and lands on my bed >she was already standing on the doorway and saw everything
: Anonymous 01/20/19(Sun)23:49:54 No.790492379 >be me >been playing fortnite all day >need to s--- but too into game >decide to s--- myself just this once >done >feeling ashamed >storm closing in 28 KB JPG >hear mom coming towards my room >panic.exe >reach into my underwear and pull out the s---.. Try to throw it behind the bed to hide evidence >s--- hits wall and lands on my bed >she was already standing on the doorway and saw everything

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Anon gets his rocks off | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 5YGD0+cg 02/24/22(Thu)00:03:11 No.362779921 Does anyone feel some sort of excitement for WW3? i would enter the war just so I can r--- foreign p---- 251 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: (kHxhvb4G 02/24/22(Thu)00:04:06 No.362780226 >>362779921 (OP)_# >foreign p---- all p---- is foreign to you >>362780640 # >>362780815 # >>362783620 # >>362784227 #
: Anonymous (ID: 5YGD0+cg 02/24/22(Thu)00:03:11 No.362779921 Does anyone feel some sort of excitement for WW3? i would enter the war just so I can r--- foreign p---- 251 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: (kHxhvb4G 02/24/22(Thu)00:04:06 No.362780226 >>362779921 (OP)_# >foreign p---- all p---- is foreign to you >>362780640 # >>362780815 # >>362783620 # >>362784227 #

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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

5 Re · 0 Img · JPG 47KB · (793 × 786) 1 Reply >be me >work at dollar tree >new girl just got a job there >8/10 Asian girl >we work our shifts together >we get along great >we exchange numbers and make plans to hangout outside of work >she calls me for the first time >I answer and instinctively say >"moshi moshi" >she says "umm you know I'm not Japanese right" >l say "yeah sorry I just watch a lot of anime" >there is a brief silence and I panicked and said "and before you say anything I'm not fetishizing you because you're Asian" >immediately I realize how autistic I am and say "yeah..I have to go and l'll see you tomorrow" and hang up How f----- am l? Is there anyway to salvage this? Tomorrow we our on shift together l'm scared she is going to either be p----- at me or ignore me. I f----- everything up
5 Re · 0 Img · JPG 47KB · (793 × 786) 1 Reply >be me >work at dollar tree >new girl just got a job there >8/10 Asian girl >we work our shifts together >we get along great >we exchange numbers and make plans to hangout outside of work >she calls me for the first time >I answer and instinctively say >"moshi moshi" >she says "umm you know I'm not Japanese right" >l say "yeah sorry I just watch a lot of anime" >there is a brief silence and I panicked and said "and before you say anything I'm not fetishizing you because you're Asian" >immediately I realize how autistic I am and say "yeah..I have to go and l'll see you tomorrow" and hang up How f----- am l? Is there anyway to salvage this? Tomorrow we our on shift together l'm scared she is going to either be p----- at me or ignore me. I f----- everything up

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Anon likes minecraft | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45657137 1 perccel ezeltt ... Anon Does Drug Bust >Be me, 14 at the time >Lights constantly flickering and PC randomly turning off >Call up electricity company >They supposedly fix the problem >It still happens >Mum jokes that the neighbour is probably growing cannabis and is tapping into our electricity supply >Neighbour has a big shed >l decide to climb over his fence and take a look inside >somuchweed.png >l take pictures with my phone >Come back home and tell my mummy >l call 101 (Non-emergency line) >Woman thinks I'm lying >Next day the police smash down his door and take all his weed away >He goes to jail and his kid gets taken away That's what you get for messing with my Minecraft experience. 155,5 kB PNG REPLY
Anonymous | 45657137 1 perccel ezeltt ... Anon Does Drug Bust >Be me, 14 at the time >Lights constantly flickering and PC randomly turning off >Call up electricity company >They supposedly fix the problem >It still happens >Mum jokes that the neighbour is probably growing cannabis and is tapping into our electricity supply >Neighbour has a big shed >l decide to climb over his fence and take a look inside >somuchweed.png >l take pictures with my phone >Come back home and tell my mummy >l call 101 (Non-emergency line) >Woman thinks I'm lying >Next day the police smash down his door and take all his weed away >He goes to jail and his kid gets taken away That's what you get for messing with my Minecraft experience. 155,5 kB PNG REPLY

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Anon doesn't sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)15:51:37 No.67779985 >mom happy to see me awake at 9:00 >she doesn't know I never went to sleep 62 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)15:51:37 No.67779985 >mom happy to see me awake at 9:00 >she doesn't know I never went to sleep 62 KB JPG

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Anon shoots kids | /r/Greentext


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Anon has big sad | /r/Greentext

: Walrus !!pND+/6DSKL+ 08/11/18(Sat)10:19:46 No.47435677 >about to commit suicide >helium tank and gas mask assembly complete >equip mask >turn on tank 29 KB PNG >sit down in chair >close eyes >Dad opens door >"ANON WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING!?" >take off mask >prepare the most dramatic heartfelt speech I can muster >deep breath >forget there is helium in my lungs >the words "you'll never know the pain I've been through" come out like an Alvin and the chipmunks special >mfw he died laughing and left
: Walrus !!pND+/6DSKL+ 08/11/18(Sat)10:19:46 No.47435677 >about to commit suicide >helium tank and gas mask assembly complete >equip mask >turn on tank 29 KB PNG >sit down in chair >close eyes >Dad opens door >"ANON WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING!?" >take off mask >prepare the most dramatic heartfelt speech I can muster >deep breath >forget there is helium in my lungs >the words "you'll never know the pain I've been through" come out like an Alvin and the chipmunks special >mfw he died laughing and left

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