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Anon loses virginity | /r/Greentext

Haven't told anyone this yet so you all will be the first > be me > horny 14 year old > playing Smash Melee with gf > jokingly say "if I win you're giving me a h------" 1.7 MB GIF > beat her because girls can't game for s--- > celebrating.ogg > "anon do you still want that h------?" > holup.mov > I didn't think she would take it seriously but f--- yeah > whip out my d--- > she jacks me off for a while > feelsprettygoodman > she suggests a b------ > f--- yes > stop her before l'm about to bust > ask if she wants to f--- > she does > pull out the condoms because I was a responsible retard back then > we start f------ (both being virgins) > once I finish we go back to playing melee I wish I was 14 again. Now I just want to kill myself.
Haven't told anyone this yet so you all will be the first > be me > horny 14 year old > playing Smash Melee with gf > jokingly say "if I win you're giving me a h------" 1.7 MB GIF > beat her because girls can't game for s--- > celebrating.ogg > "anon do you still want that h------?" > holup.mov > I didn't think she would take it seriously but f--- yeah > whip out my d--- > she jacks me off for a while > feelsprettygoodman > she suggests a b------ > f--- yes > stop her before l'm about to bust > ask if she wants to f--- > she does > pull out the condoms because I was a responsible retard back then > we start f------ (both being virgins) > once I finish we go back to playing melee I wish I was 14 again. Now I just want to kill myself.

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Anon identified as rapist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/23/13(Mon)15:24:12 UTC+13 No.522834785 File: 1387765452870.jpg-(18 KB, 420x480, 1380005391335.jpg) >Be almost blackout drunk >stumbling home after a night of heavy drinking >9/10 QT walking in-front of me >She accidentally drops her purse without realizing >I pick it up, and yell out to her >Too drunk to explain she dropped her purse, end up sluring some gibberish instead >She looks afraid, starts walking more quickly >I run after her >She is terrified, thinks I'm a r----- or something >She begins sprinting >l just need to get closer to her to show her the purse and she will understand >I've almost caught up to her >She accidentally trips in her high-heels and face-plants >Her nose looks broken >Blood everywhere >She starts screaming >bystanders across the street see us and run to her aid >Oh f---. People will think I mugged her or something >Without thinking, I sprint the other way >Get home safely, pass out >Wake up and find I still have her purse >Mfw laccidentally stole a woman's purse >Few days later- local news article says she was mugged and they are searching for the perpetrator >For some reason, she identified me as being a black guy >l'm white >Mfw Nobody ever found out it was me
Anonymous 12/23/13(Mon)15:24:12 UTC+13 No.522834785 File: 1387765452870.jpg-(18 KB, 420x480, 1380005391335.jpg) >Be almost blackout drunk >stumbling home after a night of heavy drinking >9/10 QT walking in-front of me >She accidentally drops her purse without realizing >I pick it up, and yell out to her >Too drunk to explain she dropped her purse, end up sluring some gibberish instead >She looks afraid, starts walking more quickly >I run after her >She is terrified, thinks I'm a r----- or something >She begins sprinting >l just need to get closer to her to show her the purse and she will understand >I've almost caught up to her >She accidentally trips in her high-heels and face-plants >Her nose looks broken >Blood everywhere >She starts screaming >bystanders across the street see us and run to her aid >Oh f---. People will think I mugged her or something >Without thinking, I sprint the other way >Get home safely, pass out >Wake up and find I still have her purse >Mfw laccidentally stole a woman's purse >Few days later- local news article says she was mugged and they are searching for the perpetrator >For some reason, she identified me as being a black guy >l'm white >Mfw Nobody ever found out it was me

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Anon hates pedos | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/18(Wed)18:37:51 No.782010739 Mods took down a p--- thread Good job mods, good job 7 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/10/18(Wed)18:37:51 No.782010739 Mods took down a p--- thread Good job mods, good job 7 KB JPG

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Anon wishes | /r/Greentext

File: aladdin-920x584.png (595 KB, 920x584) O Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:06 No.79985177 Genie: "What are your 3 wishes?" Me: "Make every word 4 letters long." Geni: "Wish gran." Meee: "Make ever word star with 'br." Brni: "Brsh bran." Bree: "Brke brer brd brar brdd brth 'uh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." U Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:37 No.799851809 >>799851773 (OP). I wish that OP would die in 10,000 fires.
File: aladdin-920x584.png (595 KB, 920x584) O Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:06 No.79985177 Genie: "What are your 3 wishes?" Me: "Make every word 4 letters long." Geni: "Wish gran." Meee: "Make ever word star with 'br." Brni: "Brsh bran." Bree: "Brke brer brd brar brdd brth 'uh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." U Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:37 No.799851809 >>799851773 (OP). I wish that OP would die in 10,000 fires.

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Anon goes on a date. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)12:02:25 No.67766134 >girl asks for my snap >we talk for a week, it's very nice >I set up a date, she agrees and acts interested >fast forward to today >show up, wait for forty minutes >she's not there >check phone, she blocked me on 945 KB PNG everything business as usual it seems
Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)12:02:25 No.67766134 >girl asks for my snap >we talk for a week, it's very nice >I set up a date, she agrees and acts interested >fast forward to today >show up, wait for forty minutes >she's not there >check phone, she blocked me on 945 KB PNG everything business as usual it seems

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Anon questions magik stairs | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)11:35:53 No.86031451 ► >get in >door closes >???????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this
U Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)11:35:53 No.86031451 ► >get in >door closes >???????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this

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Anon is stupid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)12:20:16 No.161226832 "Mama, die, die, die." "Algebleft" NUTRICIA 25 KB JPG Why Germans are like this? Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)12:24:53 No.161227088 The, Bart, the Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)12:25:42 No.161227132 >"alsjeblieft" What a fugly language Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)12:26:17 No.161227163 It's Dutch
Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)12:20:16 No.161226832 "Mama, die, die, die." "Algebleft" NUTRICIA 25 KB JPG Why Germans are like this? Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)12:24:53 No.161227088 The, Bart, the Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)12:25:42 No.161227132 >"alsjeblieft" What a fugly language Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)12:26:17 No.161227163 It's Dutch

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Anon wants to do something bad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/18(Wed)18:42:01 No.781982957 >Be me, middle school >Thinking about doing some bad things in my school >Computers there are not protected properly >Minecraft was very very popular at Ceidsetsire c- NRPS SALI) 1- group infa->small hlocki dnoun for (i 43 KB JPG the time >gold idea.jpg >one day after class, go to computer room >take a dump on computer
: Anonymous 10/10/18(Wed)18:42:01 No.781982957 >Be me, middle school >Thinking about doing some bad things in my school >Computers there are not protected properly >Minecraft was very very popular at Ceidsetsire c- NRPS SALI) 1- group infa->small hlocki dnoun for (i 43 KB JPG the time >gold idea.jpg >one day after class, go to computer room >take a dump on computer

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anon lifts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT times your gainz have been(...) 12/07/17(Thu)10:08:39 No.43865956 >be me >been hitting the gym really hard past few weeks and feelin beefy >go to get a physical/flu shot from dr >he tells me to take my shirt off >"guess its pretty clear you aren't afraid of needles huh!" Do I even lift? 18 KB JPG >oh haha i get comments like that alot but I'm actually natural and just have a strict lifting regime >blankstare.jpg >"I was talking about your tattoo, it's very obvious you aren't on steroids" So who crushed your self-esteem this week? 12 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous ITT times your gainz have been(...) 12/07/17(Thu)10:08:39 No.43865956 >be me >been hitting the gym really hard past few weeks and feelin beefy >go to get a physical/flu shot from dr >he tells me to take my shirt off >"guess its pretty clear you aren't afraid of needles huh!" Do I even lift? 18 KB JPG >oh haha i get comments like that alot but I'm actually natural and just have a strict lifting regime >blankstare.jpg >"I was talking about your tattoo, it's very obvious you aren't on steroids" So who crushed your self-esteem this week? 12 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon fucks up | /r/Greentext

>cutting ball hair >accidentally cut open b------- Help 17 KB JPG
>cutting ball hair >accidentally cut open b------- Help 17 KB JPG

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Anon gets benefit | /r/Greentext


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Anon's wife didn't feel good | /r/Greentext


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Turing would be proud | /r/Greentext


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Anon encounters the police | /r/Greentext


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anon goes out | /r/Greentext


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anon is dreaming | /r/Greentext

I am dating and SJW cutie and turning into a filthy normie. Anon Becomes >Be me A Normie >24 >Upset Trump lost >Go for a walk (Thursday) >Starts thinking about life >Joke about injecting hormones and 84 KB JPG becoming a degen t----- while seething. >Goes home >Thinks it's time to take my girlfriend search seriously >Opens Bumble >Swipes >Sees cute sjw 19 year old girl with gender nonsense and BLM on her profile. >kek. >Maybe trolling while I look isn't so bad. >Swipes right >Match >She messages me instantly >l pull out my 4chan normie trope by talking about star wars >I tease her >she responds my making fun of her self >Oh no. >She has a sense of humour. >Arrange to meet at the park in 2 (social distancing date) days. >Wow! >She looks nicer irl >We played frisbee at the park >We ordered some food >More Star Wars and Marvel Larp. >She shows me her cringy cosplay >l tease her >She laughs at herself >I like her a lot. >l stop believing in 4chan social dynamics >l stop believing in conspiracy theories >I like Biden >l slowly accept progressivism >what is happening to me. >l am becoming an NPC. >I like it.
I am dating and SJW cutie and turning into a filthy normie. Anon Becomes >Be me A Normie >24 >Upset Trump lost >Go for a walk (Thursday) >Starts thinking about life >Joke about injecting hormones and 84 KB JPG becoming a degen t----- while seething. >Goes home >Thinks it's time to take my girlfriend search seriously >Opens Bumble >Swipes >Sees cute sjw 19 year old girl with gender nonsense and BLM on her profile. >kek. >Maybe trolling while I look isn't so bad. >Swipes right >Match >She messages me instantly >l pull out my 4chan normie trope by talking about star wars >I tease her >she responds my making fun of her self >Oh no. >She has a sense of humour. >Arrange to meet at the park in 2 (social distancing date) days. >Wow! >She looks nicer irl >We played frisbee at the park >We ordered some food >More Star Wars and Marvel Larp. >She shows me her cringy cosplay >l tease her >She laughs at herself >I like her a lot. >l stop believing in 4chan social dynamics >l stop believing in conspiracy theories >I like Biden >l slowly accept progressivism >what is happening to me. >l am becoming an NPC. >I like it.

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Anon's lost it | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)12:10:00 No.67763615 ► File: artworks-000032287566-cio(..).jpg (36 KB, 500x500) >>67763165 (OP) >be 6'5" barefoot >wear sneakers, now 6'6" >wear manlet inserts, now 6'8" >tell people thatI am 5'11", even on dating apps am crashing this plane with no survivors.
O Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)12:10:00 No.67763615 ► File: artworks-000032287566-cio(..).jpg (36 KB, 500x500) >>67763165 (OP) >be 6'5" barefoot >wear sneakers, now 6'6" >wear manlet inserts, now 6'8" >tell people thatI am 5'11", even on dating apps am crashing this plane with no survivors.

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Anon fights his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)12:39:16 No.48693227 >be me, living with older sister >she's the one who's usually cooking >she's a terrible cook >l barely know how to make a sandwich so we've got no options >one day get into a fight and I tell| 8 KB JPG her that her food is disgusting >"if you don't like my food then you can eat my p----" >go into my room >hottest fapping session of my life also, how do I apologize to her? She's the main source of income and the only one who does housework and laundry while I just sit at my computer all day. She could go out and f--- with Chad all day yet she'd rather provide me shelter. How could I return her favor?
: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)12:39:16 No.48693227 >be me, living with older sister >she's the one who's usually cooking >she's a terrible cook >l barely know how to make a sandwich so we've got no options >one day get into a fight and I tell| 8 KB JPG her that her food is disgusting >"if you don't like my food then you can eat my p----" >go into my room >hottest fapping session of my life also, how do I apologize to her? She's the main source of income and the only one who does housework and laundry while I just sit at my computer all day. She could go out and f--- with Chad all day yet she'd rather provide me shelter. How could I return her favor?

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anon is Sigma | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)14:03:57 No.67453051 >instructions say cook from frozen >cook from chilled instead 13 KB JPG Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)14:06:47 No.67453085 >>67453051 (OP) >cashier tells me to have a nice day >tell her I will >don't 4 KB PNG
Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)14:03:57 No.67453051 >instructions say cook from frozen >cook from chilled instead 13 KB JPG Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)14:06:47 No.67453085 >>67453051 (OP) >cashier tells me to have a nice day >tell her I will >don't 4 KB PNG

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Anon is not wrong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Random s--- you think about 03/13/22(Sun)00:37:45 No.67757094 >there are people who listen to p--- audio out in public >anyone with earbuds or headphones on could be one of them >you would never know 487 KB JPG
: Anonymous Random s--- you think about 03/13/22(Sun)00:37:45 No.67757094 >there are people who listen to p--- audio out in public >anyone with earbuds or headphones on could be one of them >you would never know 487 KB JPG

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