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Anon is a fan of Margaret Thatcher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)16:21:04 No.67673311 >was having sex with gf >almost came >"s--- must hold down the c--, quick, think about something ugly" >started thinking about Margaret Thatcher 89 KB JPG >"ohh Margaret you are amazing" >"wat" >"wat" I f----- up real bad robot, I called the wrong name now she blocked me. How do I fix this? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)17:34:19 No.67673800 you f------ cucked her what did you expect : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)17:39:07 No.67673829 >>67673311 (OP) # Could've been worse, at least you didn't say Boris. 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)17:40:36 No.67673841 >>67673311(OP) # call her margy instead
: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)16:21:04 No.67673311 >was having sex with gf >almost came >"s--- must hold down the c--, quick, think about something ugly" >started thinking about Margaret Thatcher 89 KB JPG >"ohh Margaret you are amazing" >"wat" >"wat" I f----- up real bad robot, I called the wrong name now she blocked me. How do I fix this? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)17:34:19 No.67673800 you f------ cucked her what did you expect : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)17:39:07 No.67673829 >>67673311 (OP) # Could've been worse, at least you didn't say Boris. 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)17:40:36 No.67673841 >>67673311(OP) # call her margy instead

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anon likes the KKK | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)12:36:04 No.873918018 > be me > 14 > bullied in school because I hit puberty late and have social skills of an autist > only thing in the world I like is Pokemon. 5 KB JPG > have Pokémon collection including holographic of all OG 150 > bring to school for show and tell > kids laugh at me and steal them during lunch. > Black kid named Calvin starts throwing them around making it "rain". > after school walking home. > Calvin and his friends start chasing me >I run as fast, dropping my backpack until I taste blood in my throat. > legit thought I was going to die > "what's going on here" > group of middle aged white dudes barbecuing on front porch. > "the f--- you n------ doing chasing this kid" > Calvin doesn't come to school the next day. One of his friends comes with cast on his arm. > mfw my life is literally saved by the KKK.
: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)12:36:04 No.873918018 > be me > 14 > bullied in school because I hit puberty late and have social skills of an autist > only thing in the world I like is Pokemon. 5 KB JPG > have Pokémon collection including holographic of all OG 150 > bring to school for show and tell > kids laugh at me and steal them during lunch. > Black kid named Calvin starts throwing them around making it "rain". > after school walking home. > Calvin and his friends start chasing me >I run as fast, dropping my backpack until I taste blood in my throat. > legit thought I was going to die > "what's going on here" > group of middle aged white dudes barbecuing on front porch. > "the f--- you n------ doing chasing this kid" > Calvin doesn't come to school the next day. One of his friends comes with cast on his arm. > mfw my life is literally saved by the KKK.

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Anon on the job market. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous boomers live in an alternate r(...) 03/06/22(Sun)14:18:18 No.67677766 boomers: >"THERE'S A HUGE LABOR SHORTAGE, 6 MILLION JOBS OPENED UP, THEY'LL HIRE ANYONE WITHOUT EXPEIRENCE AND PAY 6 FIGURES STARTING" 166 KB JPG reality: >apply to 500 jobs >get 1 call back >it's a pyramid scheme
Anonymous boomers live in an alternate r(...) 03/06/22(Sun)14:18:18 No.67677766 boomers: >"THERE'S A HUGE LABOR SHORTAGE, 6 MILLION JOBS OPENED UP, THEY'LL HIRE ANYONE WITHOUT EXPEIRENCE AND PAY 6 FIGURES STARTING" 166 KB JPG reality: >apply to 500 jobs >get 1 call back >it's a pyramid scheme

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Anon is a coomer. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)13:03:36 No.67677070 I j------- around 15 times a day and still have energy to keep going. If i had a girlfriend I'd be trying to f--- her all day on the weekends, but I've heard some women only f--- a couple times a day max, and the average girls doesn't even like f------ daily, so I doubt l'll ever stop watching p---, l'd need a girl who would be down to f--- multiple times a day 7 days 327 KB JPG a week. Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)13:07:16 No.67677103 >>67677070 (OP) You have enough time in your day to j------- fully 15 times? Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)13:09:28 No.67677124 >>67677103 Even considering that your faps only take 10 minutes and you have a 10 minute refractory period on average, that means you spend a full 5 hours out of your waking hours masturbating. If you've spent 10 years with this schedule, you've spent 18250 hours fapping.
Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)13:03:36 No.67677070 I j------- around 15 times a day and still have energy to keep going. If i had a girlfriend I'd be trying to f--- her all day on the weekends, but I've heard some women only f--- a couple times a day max, and the average girls doesn't even like f------ daily, so I doubt l'll ever stop watching p---, l'd need a girl who would be down to f--- multiple times a day 7 days 327 KB JPG a week. Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)13:07:16 No.67677103 >>67677070 (OP) You have enough time in your day to j------- fully 15 times? Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)13:09:28 No.67677124 >>67677103 Even considering that your faps only take 10 minutes and you have a 10 minute refractory period on average, that means you spend a full 5 hours out of your waking hours masturbating. If you've spent 10 years with this schedule, you've spent 18250 hours fapping.

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Anon takes a shower | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 787170054 36 min. ago ••• >be me 15 >Parents don't give a f--- about me, I have nothing to do, soI spend most of my time bumming around with other loser friends >One day at skate park, piss off some older dudes, my friends bail on me and I get jumped >They take my wallet and snap my board >l'm walking home head hung low, ripped shirt broken board 83.3 kB JPG >Friends qt older sister is driving by and sees me >Pulls over >"OMG anon what happened" Tell her, she invited me over to get cleaned up >We get there, she whipes blood off my face, starts telling me how mad she is that those assholes did what they did to me >Starts to massage me >Boner activated >Hey anon why dont you take a shower and clean up your scrapes >l agree, she brings me to the bathroom, starts undressing me, her hand brushes on my boner >Giggles, "ooh anon, a little excited are we?" >Tells me to get in the shower, tells me she'll be right back >Im washing off, see the door start to crack open >See eye peering in at me >Feeling bold, "why dont you come join me you little slut" >Voice booms "don't mind if I do!" >Her dad runs in and f---- the s--- out of my ass and then leaves me broken on the shower floor
Anonymous | 787170054 36 min. ago ••• >be me 15 >Parents don't give a f--- about me, I have nothing to do, soI spend most of my time bumming around with other loser friends >One day at skate park, piss off some older dudes, my friends bail on me and I get jumped >They take my wallet and snap my board >l'm walking home head hung low, ripped shirt broken board 83.3 kB JPG >Friends qt older sister is driving by and sees me >Pulls over >"OMG anon what happened" Tell her, she invited me over to get cleaned up >We get there, she whipes blood off my face, starts telling me how mad she is that those assholes did what they did to me >Starts to massage me >Boner activated >Hey anon why dont you take a shower and clean up your scrapes >l agree, she brings me to the bathroom, starts undressing me, her hand brushes on my boner >Giggles, "ooh anon, a little excited are we?" >Tells me to get in the shower, tells me she'll be right back >Im washing off, see the door start to crack open >See eye peering in at me >Feeling bold, "why dont you come join me you little slut" >Voice booms "don't mind if I do!" >Her dad runs in and f---- the s--- out of my ass and then leaves me broken on the shower floor

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Anon gives random kid a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)07:07:10 No.100049780 >be girl >middle school, early 2000s >walking to class >see some short kid getting Ishoved into the locker >tiny little hispanic kid and his two goons are harrassing this kid for lunch money >is this real life >take the little hispanic kid and put him in a chicken hold >tell him if he touches this kid again l'll beat his face into the locker so hard his parents wont be able to recognize him >he calls his goons off, runs away >short kid follows me around for the rest of the school year, carrying my books and taking care of my tamogotchi and letting me use his head as an armrest a couple years ago I looked him up on facebook and found he publicly joined a "muscle girl appreciation" group. >>100049844 # >>100049852 # >>100049860 # >>100050028 #
: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)07:07:10 No.100049780 >be girl >middle school, early 2000s >walking to class >see some short kid getting Ishoved into the locker >tiny little hispanic kid and his two goons are harrassing this kid for lunch money >is this real life >take the little hispanic kid and put him in a chicken hold >tell him if he touches this kid again l'll beat his face into the locker so hard his parents wont be able to recognize him >he calls his goons off, runs away >short kid follows me around for the rest of the school year, carrying my books and taking care of my tamogotchi and letting me use his head as an armrest a couple years ago I looked him up on facebook and found he publicly joined a "muscle girl appreciation" group. >>100049844 # >>100049852 # >>100049860 # >>100050028 #

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Windows is based | /r/Greentext

2h · 53075044 3 Replies 6 Re 1 Img JPG 30KB (660 x 574) >Windows randomly installs "Photos add-on" app to my computer >starts making "albums" out of my p--- and emailing it to people I just want to be left alone
2h · 53075044 3 Replies 6 Re 1 Img JPG 30KB (660 x 574) >Windows randomly installs "Photos add-on" app to my computer >starts making "albums" out of my p--- and emailing it to people I just want to be left alone

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Anon lives in an unjust world | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)12:41:45 No.164753019 >seduce a schoolgirl >you get in trouble >get seduced by a schoolgirl >you get in trouble and they have the audacity to call this justice 483 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)12:41:45 No.164753019 >seduce a schoolgirl >you get in trouble >get seduced by a schoolgirl >you get in trouble and they have the audacity to call this justice 483 KB PNG

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That's a 10/10 pickup line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:49:23 No.17512998 >Hate fast food >Not even American BURGER KING >But the cute redhead working the drive thru always warms my heart Looks like it'lI be another Double Steakhouse® without tomatoes 76 KB JPG for me boys. Once i have my new car i'll ask her out. >Hey, without tomatoes as usual? >Yeah, cus' you're the only red thing i'd need on my burger heh! : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:51:31 No.17513004 >>17512998 (OP) # don't use that line. >>17513010 #
: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:49:23 No.17512998 >Hate fast food >Not even American BURGER KING >But the cute redhead working the drive thru always warms my heart Looks like it'lI be another Double Steakhouse® without tomatoes 76 KB JPG for me boys. Once i have my new car i'll ask her out. >Hey, without tomatoes as usual? >Yeah, cus' you're the only red thing i'd need on my burger heh! : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:51:31 No.17513004 >>17512998 (OP) # don't use that line. >>17513010 #

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Anon's revenge time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)00:19:39 No.67667334 >back in high school >guy bullied me for no reason >called me a f----- especially often >eventually graduate >hatred of him lessens 23 KB JPG >14 years later >see him in front of supermarket >hes homeless >hatred comes back >time for revenge >wait 9 hours looking at him begging for money >hes getting tired >he falls asleep >NOW IS THE TIME >sneak up on him >at the speed of light pull down his pants and suck his delicious c--- >get him to c-- with my special technique within 4 seconds >run away when he wakes up >hear the junkie cuck scream about grenades and raids or some s--- while im running Whos the f----- now huh?
: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)00:19:39 No.67667334 >back in high school >guy bullied me for no reason >called me a f----- especially often >eventually graduate >hatred of him lessens 23 KB JPG >14 years later >see him in front of supermarket >hes homeless >hatred comes back >time for revenge >wait 9 hours looking at him begging for money >hes getting tired >he falls asleep >NOW IS THE TIME >sneak up on him >at the speed of light pull down his pants and suck his delicious c--- >get him to c-- with my special technique within 4 seconds >run away when he wakes up >hear the junkie cuck scream about grenades and raids or some s--- while im running Whos the f----- now huh?

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Anon start their day off right | /r/Greentext


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Anon meets an Irish woman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/20(Mon)14:21:50 No.842792682 >be me >21 >Dutch exchange student in Edinburgh >make Scottish friends at uni >one of them is from Glasgow >go to Glasgow with him for a weekend 78 KB JPG >went to a bar >stereotypical 'rough' Glasgow bar >order a drink >bartender has the usual cute Scottish accent >look at her >most beautiful woman l've ever seen >pale white skin >blonde >blue eyes >great boobs >try to flirt her >l'm awful with women >she actually thinks I'm cute >somehow end the night s--------, but in her bed >eat breakfast the next day together >we hit it off even more >she's 36 and divorced >visit Glasgow every weekend to see her >Scotland goes in lockdown again after a while >she proposes that I stay with her >spend all day and night together >fall in love with her >was supposed to go back home today >flight cancelled because of virus mutation >went back to her house >she told me she loves me and I cannot leave her ever again Gonna stay here until at least the summer, but for the first time in my life l'm with someone who I'm imghappy with. F------ love Scotland
: Anonymous 12/21/20(Mon)14:21:50 No.842792682 >be me >21 >Dutch exchange student in Edinburgh >make Scottish friends at uni >one of them is from Glasgow >go to Glasgow with him for a weekend 78 KB JPG >went to a bar >stereotypical 'rough' Glasgow bar >order a drink >bartender has the usual cute Scottish accent >look at her >most beautiful woman l've ever seen >pale white skin >blonde >blue eyes >great boobs >try to flirt her >l'm awful with women >she actually thinks I'm cute >somehow end the night s--------, but in her bed >eat breakfast the next day together >we hit it off even more >she's 36 and divorced >visit Glasgow every weekend to see her >Scotland goes in lockdown again after a while >she proposes that I stay with her >spend all day and night together >fall in love with her >was supposed to go back home today >flight cancelled because of virus mutation >went back to her house >she told me she loves me and I cannot leave her ever again Gonna stay here until at least the summer, but for the first time in my life l'm with someone who I'm imghappy with. F------ love Scotland

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Anon gets a good nights sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no
: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no

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Anon teams the beasts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)06:38:56 No.873898797 >be Canadian, live in Yukon >wolves are an occasional worry, but usually avoid people >some are brave enough to get close to us, but there's never any contact 99 KB JPG >be 13 >sitting on school steps one day >just after school, enjoying a poptart >big white dog comes up to me >without even thinking, I give the dog some pats on the back >look up, it's not a dog >this wolf is looking at me with the most offended look I've seen on a canine >take my hand back >he looks at me for a few seconds like he's about to call HR for inappropriate touching >teacher comes out and starts screaming bloody murder to get away from it >throw poptart as distraction and retreat >wolf casually takes poptart and leaves >mfw I realize l've just recreated how dogs were first domesticated 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)06:44:41 No.873898979 Are you ready to see yourself at r/greentext
: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)06:38:56 No.873898797 >be Canadian, live in Yukon >wolves are an occasional worry, but usually avoid people >some are brave enough to get close to us, but there's never any contact 99 KB JPG >be 13 >sitting on school steps one day >just after school, enjoying a poptart >big white dog comes up to me >without even thinking, I give the dog some pats on the back >look up, it's not a dog >this wolf is looking at me with the most offended look I've seen on a canine >take my hand back >he looks at me for a few seconds like he's about to call HR for inappropriate touching >teacher comes out and starts screaming bloody murder to get away from it >throw poptart as distraction and retreat >wolf casually takes poptart and leaves >mfw I realize l've just recreated how dogs were first domesticated 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)06:44:41 No.873898979 Are you ready to see yourself at r/greentext

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Anon sacrifices his dignity. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)10:38:54 No.44540287 > be middle school loner with no friends > close to summer holidays > all students were told to read the book > having nothing better to do, read 45 KB JPG it > because school is inviting the obscure author of the book > he was the guest speaker during assembly > principal asks the school about what we thought of his book and questions about it > quiet, awkward silence > people were muttering nobody read it > felt bad for the author > told the author I enjoyed it and answered the questions > one question after another, only I answered > author was happy that I knew about the details > school staff felt less embarassed > after assembly classmates started to make fun of me > called kiss ass and book worm etc. > got the nickname ass-worm for the rest of the middle school mfw made an obscure author proud of his work in exchange of my dignity in middle school
: Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)10:38:54 No.44540287 > be middle school loner with no friends > close to summer holidays > all students were told to read the book > having nothing better to do, read 45 KB JPG it > because school is inviting the obscure author of the book > he was the guest speaker during assembly > principal asks the school about what we thought of his book and questions about it > quiet, awkward silence > people were muttering nobody read it > felt bad for the author > told the author I enjoyed it and answered the questions > one question after another, only I answered > author was happy that I knew about the details > school staff felt less embarassed > after assembly classmates started to make fun of me > called kiss ass and book worm etc. > got the nickname ass-worm for the rest of the middle school mfw made an obscure author proud of his work in exchange of my dignity in middle school

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Robot contemplates his life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)07:55:08 No.67671721 [Reply] >Too unhappy with life to enjoy it >Too comfortable with life to change it Anyone else stuck here?
Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)07:55:08 No.67671721 [Reply] >Too unhappy with life to enjoy it >Too comfortable with life to change it Anyone else stuck here?

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Anon wakes up his puppy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)09:00:31 No.784213670 >be me >watching stupid videos on youtube >accidentally wake up pupper >pupper is not mad, just wants pats >goes back to sleep while getting A.W.ESOM.-O 11 KB JPG pats I love my dog /b/. Why can't people be more like dogs
: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)09:00:31 No.784213670 >be me >watching stupid videos on youtube >accidentally wake up pupper >pupper is not mad, just wants pats >goes back to sleep while getting A.W.ESOM.-O 11 KB JPG pats I love my dog /b/. Why can't people be more like dogs

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Anon Is a Conspirator | /r/Greentext

1080 2160 5040 7920 3960 Credit: John Michell Dimensions in Miles Moon_Earth_Squaring.jpg 35 KB JPG >muh coincidence : Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)16:11:27 No.13715811 >draw triangles and squares >make implication >baited ????????????????<
1080 2160 5040 7920 3960 Credit: John Michell Dimensions in Miles Moon_Earth_Squaring.jpg 35 KB JPG >muh coincidence : Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)16:11:27 No.13715811 >draw triangles and squares >make implication >baited ????????????????<

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Anon looks in a mirror | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)16:47:57 No.873864325 fat f--- pepe 7 KB JPG >>873864452 # : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)16:50:13 No.873864452 >>873864325 # it's like looking in a mirror
: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)16:47:57 No.873864325 fat f--- pepe 7 KB JPG >>873864452 # : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)16:50:13 No.873864452 >>873864325 # it's like looking in a mirror

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Anon wants to move to Ukraine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ukraine in the membrane 02/13/20(Thu)08:49:36 No.9548693 Give me 1 reason not to move to Ukraine, when they have >10/10 white slim qt virgin women everywhere >no N------ or b------ >traditional values (no feminism) 99 KB JPG >Dirt cheap country/weak currency >No coronavirus : That depressed Pole. 02/13/20(Thu)08:56:27 No.9548694 >>9548693 (OP) # Ukrainians seem kinda dirty.
: Anonymous Ukraine in the membrane 02/13/20(Thu)08:49:36 No.9548693 Give me 1 reason not to move to Ukraine, when they have >10/10 white slim qt virgin women everywhere >no N------ or b------ >traditional values (no feminism) 99 KB JPG >Dirt cheap country/weak currency >No coronavirus : That depressed Pole. 02/13/20(Thu)08:56:27 No.9548694 >>9548693 (OP) # Ukrainians seem kinda dirty.

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