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Anon is a schizo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous F--- LIFE 02/24/22(Thu)20:56:06 No.67566098 I just realized i had bad luck >Grew up with schizophrenic mom >grew up with schizophrenic website (4chan) 73 KB JPG 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/24/22(Thu)20:57:02 No.67566106 >hes just now realizing >>67566157 # : Anonymous 02/24/22(Thu)20:58:25 No.67566115 >>67566098 (OP) # >schizophrenic sees everyone around him as being the "true schizophrenics" Many such cases, SAD!
: Anonymous F--- LIFE 02/24/22(Thu)20:56:06 No.67566098 I just realized i had bad luck >Grew up with schizophrenic mom >grew up with schizophrenic website (4chan) 73 KB JPG 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/24/22(Thu)20:57:02 No.67566106 >hes just now realizing >>67566157 # : Anonymous 02/24/22(Thu)20:58:25 No.67566115 >>67566098 (OP) # >schizophrenic sees everyone around him as being the "true schizophrenics" Many such cases, SAD!

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Anon has dating advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #
: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #

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Anon is based af | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a weeb | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: PcQCMvkk ) EE 02/24/22(Thu)18:11:40 No.363047890 T TIME China's Alliance With Putin on Ukraine Confirms US Fears | Time 38 KB JPG IT'S OVER FOR MUTTS. No more trannies. No more bbc p---. No more race mixing. No more sucking d----. No more pride parades. No more LGBTQ+. No more prancing around in dresses. No more degeneracy. China and Russia are starting a New World Order and your vile degenerate mutt ways are not welcome. Anonymous (ID: NOXLRUQ8 ) I 02/24/22(Thu)18:27:35 No.363051903 >>363047890 (OP) >but the anime?
Anonymous (ID: PcQCMvkk ) EE 02/24/22(Thu)18:11:40 No.363047890 T TIME China's Alliance With Putin on Ukraine Confirms US Fears | Time 38 KB JPG IT'S OVER FOR MUTTS. No more trannies. No more bbc p---. No more race mixing. No more sucking d----. No more pride parades. No more LGBTQ+. No more prancing around in dresses. No more degeneracy. China and Russia are starting a New World Order and your vile degenerate mutt ways are not welcome. Anonymous (ID: NOXLRUQ8 ) I 02/24/22(Thu)18:27:35 No.363051903 >>363047890 (OP) >but the anime?

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Anon has made it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Inflection point: Should I bec(...) 07/05/21(Mon)22:05:02 No.64455881 >27 yo >khvirgin >Meet a cute 31 year old single mom >She has a 7 year old boy >Starts showing interest in me >Thinks I'm cool, flirts, eventually asks 183 KB JPG me out. >The date was awesome, I was nervous and she thought it was cute. >Drops her at her place, the nanny is just leaving >"Hey anon, my kid is already sleeping, don't you want to come in?" >holyshititshappening.jpg >Small talk on the couch, she jumps on top of me and starts making out with me. >Sex.jpg >l never felt so happy in my life >Been together for two months >Her kid is a cool guy, loves dinosaurs >We go to the museum, see some fossils I buy him ice cream and a toy triceratops. >"uncle anon, this is the best day ever" For the first time in my life, I feel a fraction of what a being a father is like. I feel purpose and drive, my job doesn't seem pointless anymore. I look forward to meeting them and doing family stuff together. Am I making a huge mistake? I think I'm gonna marry this woman and adopt the little guy.
: Anonymous Inflection point: Should I bec(...) 07/05/21(Mon)22:05:02 No.64455881 >27 yo >khvirgin >Meet a cute 31 year old single mom >She has a 7 year old boy >Starts showing interest in me >Thinks I'm cool, flirts, eventually asks 183 KB JPG me out. >The date was awesome, I was nervous and she thought it was cute. >Drops her at her place, the nanny is just leaving >"Hey anon, my kid is already sleeping, don't you want to come in?" >holyshititshappening.jpg >Small talk on the couch, she jumps on top of me and starts making out with me. >Sex.jpg >l never felt so happy in my life >Been together for two months >Her kid is a cool guy, loves dinosaurs >We go to the museum, see some fossils I buy him ice cream and a toy triceratops. >"uncle anon, this is the best day ever" For the first time in my life, I feel a fraction of what a being a father is like. I feel purpose and drive, my job doesn't seem pointless anymore. I look forward to meeting them and doing family stuff together. Am I making a huge mistake? I think I'm gonna marry this woman and adopt the little guy.

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Anon angered the CCP | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)19:35:16 No.78590043 >be me, playing WoW >play on asian servers because NA servers are too easy >2 Chinese players bully me >type "June 4th 1989, Tian an Men Square Massacre" 22 KB JPG >Both disconnect >mfw I just sent two inncoent children to a Chinese Labor Camp and got their whole family executed
Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)19:35:16 No.78590043 >be me, playing WoW >play on asian servers because NA servers are too easy >2 Chinese players bully me >type "June 4th 1989, Tian an Men Square Massacre" 22 KB JPG >Both disconnect >mfw I just sent two inncoent children to a Chinese Labor Camp and got their whole family executed

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Nice controller | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (Thu)18:52:01 No.395523673 controller.jpg 84 KB JPG >here's your controller bro : Anonymous 11/02/17(Thu)18:52:59 No.395523756 >toss me the controller bro >l can't, it keeps coming back
: Anonymous (Thu)18:52:01 No.395523673 controller.jpg 84 KB JPG >here's your controller bro : Anonymous 11/02/17(Thu)18:52:59 No.395523756 >toss me the controller bro >l can't, it keeps coming back

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Anon gets the talk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/11/18(Thu)01:16:12 No.782040275 >mom found my a--- bleach stash >confronted me about it >was pretty sure I was about to get it >instead lectures me on how unsafe the current brands in my 59 KB PNG stash were >somehow intricately knowledgeable about their chemical composition and why they're a faulty product >without a doubt, this was the weirdest conversation we've had ever since she tried to give me "the talk" in middle school ten years ago >recommends me some safer brands, and offered to buy them for me, despite my protest >somehow, she trails off into a--- beading >l don't do a--- beads >doesn't believe me >but still says that if I ever end up trying it (despite my reassurance I won't) >"don't pull them out like starting a lawn mower. blood and poopy everywhere." >finally leaves while singing to herself F------ hell, that was horrendous. Anyone happen to know how painful hanging yourself is?
Anonymous 10/11/18(Thu)01:16:12 No.782040275 >mom found my a--- bleach stash >confronted me about it >was pretty sure I was about to get it >instead lectures me on how unsafe the current brands in my 59 KB PNG stash were >somehow intricately knowledgeable about their chemical composition and why they're a faulty product >without a doubt, this was the weirdest conversation we've had ever since she tried to give me "the talk" in middle school ten years ago >recommends me some safer brands, and offered to buy them for me, despite my protest >somehow, she trails off into a--- beading >l don't do a--- beads >doesn't believe me >but still says that if I ever end up trying it (despite my reassurance I won't) >"don't pull them out like starting a lawn mower. blood and poopy everywhere." >finally leaves while singing to herself F------ hell, that was horrendous. Anyone happen to know how painful hanging yourself is?

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Anon is disappointed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 48619924 34 min temu >be me, going to college in the middle of nowhere >this new big tall Amazon bitch gets drunk at a party and starts ranting about how she would f--- for a box of Samoas >but its February >masterchefactivated.jpeg >l make a batch of Samoas from scratch, the most difficult thing I ever cooked 33,2 kB JPG >she loves them >she otherwise acts like I dont exist and proceeds to f--- some Chad that did not make her Samoas WHY THE F--- DO I EVEN TRY REEEEEE 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 48620004 29 min temu O.. >>48619924 (OP) >Taking drunken jokes literally You autists never f------ learn, do you? 1 REPLY
Anonymous 48619924 34 min temu >be me, going to college in the middle of nowhere >this new big tall Amazon bitch gets drunk at a party and starts ranting about how she would f--- for a box of Samoas >but its February >masterchefactivated.jpeg >l make a batch of Samoas from scratch, the most difficult thing I ever cooked 33,2 kB JPG >she loves them >she otherwise acts like I dont exist and proceeds to f--- some Chad that did not make her Samoas WHY THE F--- DO I EVEN TRY REEEEEE 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 48620004 29 min temu O.. >>48619924 (OP) >Taking drunken jokes literally You autists never f------ learn, do you? 1 REPLY

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Anon is world weary | /r/Greentext

>be american BORN >get fat, get shot, become poor because surgery is 100 000$ FEEL >be european 14 KB JPG >get beheaded by isis >be asian >suicide because of stress and no gf >be african >be african >be australian >get killed by venomous animal and lose war against emu I guess no place on earth is good after all
>be american BORN >get fat, get shot, become poor because surgery is 100 000$ FEEL >be european 14 KB JPG >get beheaded by isis >be asian >suicide because of stress and no gf >be african >be african >be australian >get killed by venomous animal and lose war against emu I guess no place on earth is good after all

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Anon on zoomers getting drafted. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: srsbQOZ7 ) EE What happens if Zoomers get dr(...) 02/25/22(Fri)03:15:29 No.363159880 >Ayo bruh we rly vibin in ukraine now fr fr 77 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: WQE2CD6S ) E 02/25/22(Fri)03:18:13 No.363160330 >>363159880 (OP). >goes on twitter >all zoomers who dont take anything seriously >half the tweets are "RATIO PUTIN" "L PUTIN PUTIN IS AN L BRUH NO 22 KB PNG CAP" >FINNA GET NBA DRAFTED TO THIS WAR BRUH >GONNA RATIO PUTIN BRUH
Anonymous (ID: srsbQOZ7 ) EE What happens if Zoomers get dr(...) 02/25/22(Fri)03:15:29 No.363159880 >Ayo bruh we rly vibin in ukraine now fr fr 77 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: WQE2CD6S ) E 02/25/22(Fri)03:18:13 No.363160330 >>363159880 (OP). >goes on twitter >all zoomers who dont take anything seriously >half the tweets are "RATIO PUTIN" "L PUTIN PUTIN IS AN L BRUH NO 22 KB PNG CAP" >FINNA GET NBA DRAFTED TO THIS WAR BRUH >GONNA RATIO PUTIN BRUH

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Well that just swung a very sharp left | /r/Greentext

ITT share your most f----- up/extreme sex stories >be me >10 years ago >still in med school >have kinky girlfriend >keep having more intense odd sex >reaches pinnacle of the bizarre >says she wants to be f----- to death or f--- a corpse >idea forms >I "borrow" a defibrillator, adrenaline, and other resuscitative tools from work >get home >hardcore sex for around an hour until we're about to élimax >pull out >ties her down >use defibrillator on her >her heart stops, convulsions, unresponsive >quickly finish f------ her dead body within 3 minutes >begin reviving process immedietly after to avoid brain death >gasps awake, panics, cries >calms down >says she loved it >do this every other month til she committed suicide a year later due to unrelated mental health problems TL;DR? SEX STORIES!
ITT share your most f----- up/extreme sex stories >be me >10 years ago >still in med school >have kinky girlfriend >keep having more intense odd sex >reaches pinnacle of the bizarre >says she wants to be f----- to death or f--- a corpse >idea forms >I "borrow" a defibrillator, adrenaline, and other resuscitative tools from work >get home >hardcore sex for around an hour until we're about to élimax >pull out >ties her down >use defibrillator on her >her heart stops, convulsions, unresponsive >quickly finish f------ her dead body within 3 minutes >begin reviving process immedietly after to avoid brain death >gasps awake, panics, cries >calms down >says she loved it >do this every other month til she committed suicide a year later due to unrelated mental health problems TL;DR? SEX STORIES!

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Anon refuses to surrender | /r/Greentext

Snake Island >be me >guarding a place called snake island kek >have 12 other army bros >we are literally the only people here >russian warship arrives >"This is a Russian military warship, I suggest you lay down your weapons 18 KB PNG and surrender to avoid bloodshed and needless casualties. Otherwise you will be bombed." >Reply "Go f--- yourselves" >They start bombing us >Refuse to elaborate >Die heroes
Snake Island >be me >guarding a place called snake island kek >have 12 other army bros >we are literally the only people here >russian warship arrives >"This is a Russian military warship, I suggest you lay down your weapons 18 KB PNG and surrender to avoid bloodshed and needless casualties. Otherwise you will be bombed." >Reply "Go f--- yourselves" >They start bombing us >Refuse to elaborate >Die heroes

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Down under anon is plotting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: AKyuf83Q ) 02/24/22(Thu)21:37:18 No.363123349 This is our chance mates. We can take NZ while no one is watching. Finally our country will have actual mountains. 9 KB PNG 48 Replies / 10 Images View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: AKyuf83Q ) 02/24/22(Thu)21:37:18 No.363123349 This is our chance mates. We can take NZ while no one is watching. Finally our country will have actual mountains. 9 KB PNG 48 Replies / 10 Images View Thread

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Anon plays red dead redemption 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan 48 KB JPG >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan 48 KB JPG >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---

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Anon describes a Gigachad | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/25/22(Fri)11:37:48 No.67567629 >be me >ukranian >go to the millitary >become a pilot >war starts >oh s--- >outnumbered 20 to 1 >scramble into a jet and pray >get in contact with the enemy >godmode enabled >destroy 6 russian aircraft in 14 hours >become the first ace since WW2 >MFW they call you the "ghost of Kiev"
O Anonymous 02/25/22(Fri)11:37:48 No.67567629 >be me >ukranian >go to the millitary >become a pilot >war starts >oh s--- >outnumbered 20 to 1 >scramble into a jet and pray >get in contact with the enemy >godmode enabled >destroy 6 russian aircraft in 14 hours >become the first ace since WW2 >MFW they call you the "ghost of Kiev"

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Anon says goodbye | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/24/22(Thu)02:59:26 No.160279845 >>160279995 >>160279996 >>160280001 >>160280029 >>160280125 >>160280243 >>160280272 >>160280295 >>160280315 >>160280335 >>160280448 >>160280460 >>160280475 >>160280530 >>160280555 >>160280908 >>160280934 >>160281017 >>160281026 >>160281091 >>160281132 >>160281344 >>160281394 >>160281544 >>160282078 >>160282462 >>160282471 >>160282537 >>160283454 >>160283545 >>160284348 >>160284653 >>160284970 >>160284997 >>160285080 >>160285213 >>160285413 >>160285577 >>160285659 >>160285757 >>160285889 Before I go I want to say I love you guys you were my only friends all these years
Anonymous 02/24/22(Thu)02:59:26 No.160279845 >>160279995 >>160279996 >>160280001 >>160280029 >>160280125 >>160280243 >>160280272 >>160280295 >>160280315 >>160280335 >>160280448 >>160280460 >>160280475 >>160280530 >>160280555 >>160280908 >>160280934 >>160281017 >>160281026 >>160281091 >>160281132 >>160281344 >>160281394 >>160281544 >>160282078 >>160282462 >>160282471 >>160282537 >>160283454 >>160283545 >>160284348 >>160284653 >>160284970 >>160284997 >>160285080 >>160285213 >>160285413 >>160285577 >>160285659 >>160285757 >>160285889 Before I go I want to say I love you guys you were my only friends all these years

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Anon dates a fat girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Don't date fat girls 02/24/22(Thu)20:02:59 No.67564784 >have chubby gf, 5'1 and probably 150 lbs (haven't actually asked her weight) >we've been dating for two months >she's a bit of a glutton but I don't mind, find it cute when she gets excited over food 24 KB JPG >take her to dinner to meet my parents and get sushi >my parents love her at first, although it's probably because they're just happy to see me with someone >we go to an Asian buffet with sushi and other stuff >my gf basically eats one helping of everything and keeps eating after that >my parents just stare in horror >eventually my gf gets to the point where she's struggling to eat more and her stomach is visibly bigger >vomits in the middle of the restaurant on her twelfth plate >afterward my dad tells me that he doesn't want to see me with her again, mom is just dead silent Don't fall for the fat gf meme. I'm somewhat attracted to her physically but I can't deal with this.
: Anonymous Don't date fat girls 02/24/22(Thu)20:02:59 No.67564784 >have chubby gf, 5'1 and probably 150 lbs (haven't actually asked her weight) >we've been dating for two months >she's a bit of a glutton but I don't mind, find it cute when she gets excited over food 24 KB JPG >take her to dinner to meet my parents and get sushi >my parents love her at first, although it's probably because they're just happy to see me with someone >we go to an Asian buffet with sushi and other stuff >my gf basically eats one helping of everything and keeps eating after that >my parents just stare in horror >eventually my gf gets to the point where she's struggling to eat more and her stomach is visibly bigger >vomits in the middle of the restaurant on her twelfth plate >afterward my dad tells me that he doesn't want to see me with her again, mom is just dead silent Don't fall for the fat gf meme. I'm somewhat attracted to her physically but I can't deal with this.

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Anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext

9 min. ago Anonymous 1 804906840 positive dad stories thread >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck 158.5 kB PNG >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck
9 min. ago Anonymous 1 804906840 positive dad stories thread >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck 158.5 kB PNG >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck

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Water is the essence of wetness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)11:09:48 No.64453400 >be me >look for entry level jobs on the ads on the joblist site 1.73 MB PNG >"water tester" >"competitive salary" >you have to understand that I am stupid to the point of almost being mentally disabled >l show up thinking I'm going to taste test water >no >but my interviewer laughs and tells me l'm hilarious >l get a uniform and a schedule >all I have to do is put strips of paper into samples and record colors onto a pad of grid paper and then write a report >my job is so boring I'm literally posting on 4chan on company time
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)11:09:48 No.64453400 >be me >look for entry level jobs on the ads on the joblist site 1.73 MB PNG >"water tester" >"competitive salary" >you have to understand that I am stupid to the point of almost being mentally disabled >l show up thinking I'm going to taste test water >no >but my interviewer laughs and tells me l'm hilarious >l get a uniform and a schedule >all I have to do is put strips of paper into samples and record colors onto a pad of grid paper and then write a report >my job is so boring I'm literally posting on 4chan on company time

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