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Anon being germ*n | /r/Greentext

No.87571996 11 hours ago Germany >Jurgen WHY THE F--- CANT YOU JUST WRITE JUERGEN ITS F------ JUERGEN IF YOU DONT HAVE AN UMLAUT HIS NAME IS NOT JURGEN 25 replies No.8757215111 hours ago * Israel >>87571996 how about killing yourself you disgusting germ*n 24 replies No.87572244 11 hours ago Germany >>87572151 how about you leave through the chimney like your grandpa 32 replies
No.87571996 11 hours ago Germany >Jurgen WHY THE F--- CANT YOU JUST WRITE JUERGEN ITS F------ JUERGEN IF YOU DONT HAVE AN UMLAUT HIS NAME IS NOT JURGEN 25 replies No.8757215111 hours ago * Israel >>87571996 how about killing yourself you disgusting germ*n 24 replies No.87572244 11 hours ago Germany >>87572151 how about you leave through the chimney like your grandpa 32 replies

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anon finds love | /r/Greentext

WOW THIS IS YOUR ABYSS?! IT'S SO COOL Y-YEAH >be me 17yo looser >have no social >decide to just go to party i wasnt invited to >know noone >offer cigs to group standing outside >they all leave except 6/10 qt cantcomplain_imlooser.png >sit outside and start talking >is she talking to me because she is drunk? >talk goes well. get her number ffw next week >text her because bored >texts back >she is enthusiastic about getting to know me >wants to go to date >go to some normie marvel movie >she wants me to go home with her cantbelievethisishappening.bmp >her room is messy but ok >she sits next to me on her bed >she puts her hand on my thigh feelsgood.pepe >says she wants to peg me >cant think of an excuse >getting pegged >feel pressure at the back >wake up s------ my bed again
WOW THIS IS YOUR ABYSS?! IT'S SO COOL Y-YEAH >be me 17yo looser >have no social >decide to just go to party i wasnt invited to >know noone >offer cigs to group standing outside >they all leave except 6/10 qt cantcomplain_imlooser.png >sit outside and start talking >is she talking to me because she is drunk? >talk goes well. get her number ffw next week >text her because bored >texts back >she is enthusiastic about getting to know me >wants to go to date >go to some normie marvel movie >she wants me to go home with her cantbelievethisishappening.bmp >her room is messy but ok >she sits next to me on her bed >she puts her hand on my thigh feelsgood.pepe >says she wants to peg me >cant think of an excuse >getting pegged >feel pressure at the back >wake up s------ my bed again

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Anon took drugs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 03/15/21(Mon)07:54:08 No.62759582 >friend sells me some adderall >take pill >feel f------ euphoric, literally nothing can stop me >zero social anxiety, i could tell my whole life story to a random person if 213 KB JPG i wanted to >compulsive behaviors almost disappear entirely for the first time in over 2 years >don't feel worried anymore, start realizing that all my problems are just temporary and i can fix them easily >actually want to live my life, go out and have fun >don't feel empty anymore, always thinking positive and for the future >drug starts to wear off after a few hours >go back to my normal suicidal self H--------, is this what life as a normie is actually like? Those first few minutes I felt like I was in paradise. Now I just know how much I was robbed of a happy existence.
: Anonymous E 03/15/21(Mon)07:54:08 No.62759582 >friend sells me some adderall >take pill >feel f------ euphoric, literally nothing can stop me >zero social anxiety, i could tell my whole life story to a random person if 213 KB JPG i wanted to >compulsive behaviors almost disappear entirely for the first time in over 2 years >don't feel worried anymore, start realizing that all my problems are just temporary and i can fix them easily >actually want to live my life, go out and have fun >don't feel empty anymore, always thinking positive and for the future >drug starts to wear off after a few hours >go back to my normal suicidal self H--------, is this what life as a normie is actually like? Those first few minutes I felt like I was in paradise. Now I just know how much I was robbed of a happy existence.

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Anons was a dumb baby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)22:40:27 No.803097363 >Be me >born around 2lbs AUTISTIC AUTISM CHILD >survive that AREA >pull out my oxygen tube and turn purple 308 KB PNG >nurse puts it back in >almost spawn killed myself >gets autism instead
: Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)22:40:27 No.803097363 >Be me >born around 2lbs AUTISTIC AUTISM CHILD >survive that AREA >pull out my oxygen tube and turn purple 308 KB PNG >nurse puts it back in >almost spawn killed myself >gets autism instead

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Anon is finally home | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/19(Sat)07:17:04 No.793960993 > be 14 y/o me > find 4chan > everyone calls each other autistic and gay > "this is stupid" > leave 4chan 137 KB PNG > ffw 3 years > realize l'm gay > ffw another year > get diagnosed with autism > mfw > I'm home bois
: Anonymous 03/02/19(Sat)07:17:04 No.793960993 > be 14 y/o me > find 4chan > everyone calls each other autistic and gay > "this is stupid" > leave 4chan 137 KB PNG > ffw 3 years > realize l'm gay > ffw another year > get diagnosed with autism > mfw > I'm home bois

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Anon is normie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the EWIPE TO NEXT> normiest site 136 KB JPG
: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the EWIPE TO NEXT> normiest site 136 KB JPG

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Anon scares off demons | /r/Greentext

>Late last night >Have a fish tank with a light on >Kept seeing shadows in my peripheral vision >Heard sounds like deep breathing >Closet door is open even though I always shut it before I get into bed 6 KB JPG >"I'm not afraid of you f------" >Something replies >"We're not afraid of you either" >NOPE >Home alone in the middle of nowhere >Would be dangerous outside so I have to stay inside >Can't move-frozen with fear >Remember what /x/ says when you're in this situation >Tore off clothes >Masturbated >Haven't been bothered since then.
>Late last night >Have a fish tank with a light on >Kept seeing shadows in my peripheral vision >Heard sounds like deep breathing >Closet door is open even though I always shut it before I get into bed 6 KB JPG >"I'm not afraid of you f------" >Something replies >"We're not afraid of you either" >NOPE >Home alone in the middle of nowhere >Would be dangerous outside so I have to stay inside >Can't move-frozen with fear >Remember what /x/ says when you're in this situation >Tore off clothes >Masturbated >Haven't been bothered since then.

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anon likes spongebob | /r/Greentext


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Chad "Egg" | /r/Greentext

>be me last night| >very drunk >at party >want some weed >text weed guy the word "Egg" >refuse to elaborate 21 KB JPG >pass out
>be me last night| >very drunk >at party >want some weed >text weed guy the word "Egg" >refuse to elaborate 21 KB JPG >pass out

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Anon makes a point | /r/Greentext

HELMETS E HOSES CIRCUMCISED & UNCIRCUMCISED DIFFERENCES & SIMILARITIES written by Tricia LaVoice illustrated by Olivia Milton helmethose.png 324 KB PNG >All these guys like, "I won't wear a mask, that's a violation of my rights!" >Meanwhile someone cut the end of their d---- off and they defend it
HELMETS E HOSES CIRCUMCISED & UNCIRCUMCISED DIFFERENCES & SIMILARITIES written by Tricia LaVoice illustrated by Olivia Milton helmethose.png 324 KB PNG >All these guys like, "I won't wear a mask, that's a violation of my rights!" >Meanwhile someone cut the end of their d---- off and they defend it

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Anon Makes a Friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)01:45:50 No.48683649 >this old Iranian man at my gym, older than 60 >always talks to me, one day tells me that hes sad that he's on the decline in life >I tell him that since hes making the effort I dont think hes on the decline. From then on he always calls me his good friend >always tells me sex jokes in gym, all of them really bad and if I dont pretend to laugh he will just tell them again >example: "what did the horse and black man have in common, they both have huge d---- and are animals" >By being near this man I have no chance of ever talking to anyone else in my gym ever due to association >one day while telling sex jokes he has a 5lb bag of pistachios, asks if I want any. before I answer he dumps half the bag on the floor in front of my bench and says enjoy my friend He says that it's my turn to come up with sex jokes for him as he has run out >>48684095 # >>48684205 # >>48684940 # >>48686081 # >>48688099 # >>48688233 # >>48688389 # >>48688445 # >>48688646 # >>48689396 # >>48689512 # >>48691738 # >>48692688 # >>48692759 #
: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)01:45:50 No.48683649 >this old Iranian man at my gym, older than 60 >always talks to me, one day tells me that hes sad that he's on the decline in life >I tell him that since hes making the effort I dont think hes on the decline. From then on he always calls me his good friend >always tells me sex jokes in gym, all of them really bad and if I dont pretend to laugh he will just tell them again >example: "what did the horse and black man have in common, they both have huge d---- and are animals" >By being near this man I have no chance of ever talking to anyone else in my gym ever due to association >one day while telling sex jokes he has a 5lb bag of pistachios, asks if I want any. before I answer he dumps half the bag on the floor in front of my bench and says enjoy my friend He says that it's my turn to come up with sex jokes for him as he has run out >>48684095 # >>48684205 # >>48684940 # >>48686081 # >>48688099 # >>48688233 # >>48688389 # >>48688445 # >>48688646 # >>48689396 # >>48689512 # >>48691738 # >>48692688 # >>48692759 #

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Anon likes Adventure Time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:28:49 No.792530524 >be mo 351 KB PNG BMC
: Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:28:49 No.792530524 >be mo 351 KB PNG BMC

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Wild ride from start to finish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)21:23:06 No.51034759 I just shoved a whole stick of (salted) butter up my a------ and now it's currently melting inside me. Will report back with results when it's fully melted. 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)22:28:14 No.51035749 OK so I was able to get most of it in the bowl. Here's how I'll describe the experience. It feels great going in, then quickly becomes unpleasant. Once it fully melts, it becomes unmanageable as it will literally leak out of you. I wrote the OP laying on my back and as soon as I 1.3 MB JPG sat up I realized I was in trouble. Some of the butter got on my mattress. I tried to take it to the kitchen but that wasn't happening. The bathroom was closer. I got most of it into the bowl but it sort of exploded out of me so now there's butter everywhere in the bathroom. I wasn't expecting it to BURN LIKE HELL COMING OUT. MY A------ IS ON FIRE IT F------ HURTS. Probably because of the salt. I'm on the verge of crying, this could absolutely become a form of torture. Also I think the butter in its melted state tricks your body into thinking you have diarrhea because it sent me into horrible contractions and now I'm spewing diarrhea like crazy. I think I triggered something. The butter is really oily. Upside: the inside of my ass feels super soft. Downside: it's IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of the oily feeling. I'm going to have to take a shower. I can keep wiping and wiping and wiping and still see melted butter on the paper towels
: Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)21:23:06 No.51034759 I just shoved a whole stick of (salted) butter up my a------ and now it's currently melting inside me. Will report back with results when it's fully melted. 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)22:28:14 No.51035749 OK so I was able to get most of it in the bowl. Here's how I'll describe the experience. It feels great going in, then quickly becomes unpleasant. Once it fully melts, it becomes unmanageable as it will literally leak out of you. I wrote the OP laying on my back and as soon as I 1.3 MB JPG sat up I realized I was in trouble. Some of the butter got on my mattress. I tried to take it to the kitchen but that wasn't happening. The bathroom was closer. I got most of it into the bowl but it sort of exploded out of me so now there's butter everywhere in the bathroom. I wasn't expecting it to BURN LIKE HELL COMING OUT. MY A------ IS ON FIRE IT F------ HURTS. Probably because of the salt. I'm on the verge of crying, this could absolutely become a form of torture. Also I think the butter in its melted state tricks your body into thinking you have diarrhea because it sent me into horrible contractions and now I'm spewing diarrhea like crazy. I think I triggered something. The butter is really oily. Upside: the inside of my ass feels super soft. Downside: it's IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of the oily feeling. I'm going to have to take a shower. I can keep wiping and wiping and wiping and still see melted butter on the paper towels

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anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

Am I a bad person? >be me >go to local gym regularly >requires a membership obviously >don't have one 314 KB PNG >ask to use bathroom >pretend I have to go really bad >wagie at the door says sure >nice >go to the bathroom and camp there for 5 minutes >exit and start working out >wagie sees me, isn't paid enough to tell me to leave I have been doing this for the last 8 months. I've never been kicked out. Haven't paid a dime in memberships
Am I a bad person? >be me >go to local gym regularly >requires a membership obviously >don't have one 314 KB PNG >ask to use bathroom >pretend I have to go really bad >wagie at the door says sure >nice >go to the bathroom and camp there for 5 minutes >exit and start working out >wagie sees me, isn't paid enough to tell me to leave I have been doing this for the last 8 months. I've never been kicked out. Haven't paid a dime in memberships

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anon gets the train | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 48767783 1 hr ago •.. >buy two tickets on train for my monthly appointment with therapist >standing roastie w----- still expect me to give up one of the seats when it gets busy >the Chad of the train says some dumb s--- like "hey don't be a d---, she's a woman" 61.0 kB JPG >refuse to give up seat stating I've purchased two tickets, therefore have two seats for me >all the passengers are becoming hostile towards me >tell them there is cctv on train so don't even think about touching me >next stop some transport officer comes on >he says to leave the train or we won't let the train continue >stay seated, train is waiting for 45 minutes and all the wagecucks are late for work >eventually he gives up and calls me a f------ d------- as he leaves >train finally departs >still made it in time for therapist When did you last get one over the NPCS? 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous 48767783 1 hr ago •.. >buy two tickets on train for my monthly appointment with therapist >standing roastie w----- still expect me to give up one of the seats when it gets busy >the Chad of the train says some dumb s--- like "hey don't be a d---, she's a woman" 61.0 kB JPG >refuse to give up seat stating I've purchased two tickets, therefore have two seats for me >all the passengers are becoming hostile towards me >tell them there is cctv on train so don't even think about touching me >next stop some transport officer comes on >he says to leave the train or we won't let the train continue >stay seated, train is waiting for 45 minutes and all the wagecucks are late for work >eventually he gives up and calls me a f------ d------- as he leaves >train finally departs >still made it in time for therapist When did you last get one over the NPCS? 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Wholesome anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/19(Mon)03:33:29 No.52729584 >be me >20 and just got license >go on road trip across canada >end up in alaska >stop at tourist place that lets you rent gold pans and 609 KB PNG pan for gold in their river >they let you keep whatever you find >spend an hour and a half and get nothing >not a single speck >go back in and turn in the pan >owner asks me if I need a container for my gold, I tell him I didn't find anything >about to leave when an older gentleman who was out there with me taps my shoulder >"here son" >hands me small glass vial with a few tiny nuggets >smile at this nice gesture and leave slightly happier than when I arrived Thanks for the gold, kind stranger
: Anonymous 06/03/19(Mon)03:33:29 No.52729584 >be me >20 and just got license >go on road trip across canada >end up in alaska >stop at tourist place that lets you rent gold pans and 609 KB PNG pan for gold in their river >they let you keep whatever you find >spend an hour and a half and get nothing >not a single speck >go back in and turn in the pan >owner asks me if I need a container for my gold, I tell him I didn't find anything >about to leave when an older gentleman who was out there with me taps my shoulder >"here son" >hands me small glass vial with a few tiny nuggets >smile at this nice gesture and leave slightly happier than when I arrived Thanks for the gold, kind stranger

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Anon plays No Mans Sky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/29/18(Mon)08:02:19 No.48982685 >heard No Man's Sky is finally good. >bought copy and start up game >found random generated planet to NO MAN'S SKY land >suddenly ship crash lands >must be part of game 16 KB JPG >everything black >character finally opens eyes >suddenly riding behind cart >"Hey, you. You're finally awake." >gdi todd howard.
: Anonymous 10/29/18(Mon)08:02:19 No.48982685 >heard No Man's Sky is finally good. >bought copy and start up game >found random generated planet to NO MAN'S SKY land >suddenly ship crash lands >must be part of game 16 KB JPG >everything black >character finally opens eyes >suddenly riding behind cart >"Hey, you. You're finally awake." >gdi todd howard.

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I'm not gay, but... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/18(Tue)09:04:05 No.766096427 Transgender Finds Love With The Man Who Rejected Her As A Male LAUGHOFF Transgender Finds Love With The Man Who Rejected Her As A Male - iRediT Screenshot 20180416-185733.png 1.07 MB PNG "wanna go on a date?" "I ain't gay" "What if I grow some t--- and grow my hair out?" "...fine"
: Anonymous 04/17/18(Tue)09:04:05 No.766096427 Transgender Finds Love With The Man Who Rejected Her As A Male LAUGHOFF Transgender Finds Love With The Man Who Rejected Her As A Male - iRediT Screenshot 20180416-185733.png 1.07 MB PNG "wanna go on a date?" "I ain't gay" "What if I grow some t--- and grow my hair out?" "...fine"

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Anon has a granddad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)22:25:15 No.783826773 >be me >0 >granddad said he loved me >be me >5 >break arm in fight >granddad said I should be more 137 KB PNG careful but he still loves me >be me >7 >accidentally start fire in chicken coop because I found some matches >granddad scolds me for hours but said that hes happy im ok and he loves me >be me >9 >get bullied at school and come home crying >granddad tells me im going to be ok and that he loves me >be me >23 >visit granddad because he is old and sick >he tells me that he loves me >after I leave and say goodbye I get a call >granddad died may it be in the gates of heaven or the boiler rooms of hell ill see you again you fantastic son of a bitch you may call me fake and gay now
: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)22:25:15 No.783826773 >be me >0 >granddad said he loved me >be me >5 >break arm in fight >granddad said I should be more 137 KB PNG careful but he still loves me >be me >7 >accidentally start fire in chicken coop because I found some matches >granddad scolds me for hours but said that hes happy im ok and he loves me >be me >9 >get bullied at school and come home crying >granddad tells me im going to be ok and that he loves me >be me >23 >visit granddad because he is old and sick >he tells me that he loves me >after I leave and say goodbye I get a call >granddad died may it be in the gates of heaven or the boiler rooms of hell ill see you again you fantastic son of a bitch you may call me fake and gay now

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Anon is a country | /r/Greentext


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