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Anon becomes bulletproof. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Microdosing bullets 08/23/21(Mon)16:34:45 No.50331942 Hey /k/ommandos I started microdosing bullets by shooting myself in the leg with .177 pellets and after 2 months they stopped breaking skin so i've moved up to .22 pellets. My goal is to work up to 22lr by the end of the year and then one day get to .223. Is this possible? Can I 694 KB JPG become bulletproof?
: Anonymous Microdosing bullets 08/23/21(Mon)16:34:45 No.50331942 Hey /k/ommandos I started microdosing bullets by shooting myself in the leg with .177 pellets and after 2 months they stopped breaking skin so i've moved up to .22 pellets. My goal is to work up to 22lr by the end of the year and then one day get to .223. Is this possible? Can I 694 KB JPG become bulletproof?

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home >go on reddit >make account 70 KB JPG >post pictures of puppies you get from google >go on female incel subs and post a larp about a man wolf whistling you in the street and you smashed a brick in his face >post fake story about cop beating up a black guy >go on any sub, find a really popular post from 6+ months ago and repost it >post s--- memes to normie cocksuckers you copy from instagram >go on any sub basically that allows for a story to be told and make up any s---. the more extreme the better. >copy any tweet from a black that insults whites, post it on their BIAcKpEOpLeTwltTeR sub >go on some trans sub and post about "being brave" by telling your father he's c--- because you love taking d--- in the shitbox >google any news story about a cop f------ up and post it >post more pictures of cute animals for the 13 year olds to go awwwwwwwww >when posting pictures of cute animals, speak like an autistic f------ sperg - use words like 'hooman' 'smol' 'pupper' and 'zoomies' All of this will net you an easy 10,000 karma a week. Go online. Sell the account. Going rates are $80 for an account that has 10k karma on it. Do this with several accounts at a time, and you can basically treat it as a second job. Thats right guys, posting absolute f------ low quality s--- on reddit for incels, femcels, turbovirigns, blm fans and leftie fart sniffers etc can literally be your next job. Always have one account you don't sell. Turtle it up to 100,000 karma. Going rate online for this is TWO THOUSAND F------ DOLLARS.
Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home >go on reddit >make account 70 KB JPG >post pictures of puppies you get from google >go on female incel subs and post a larp about a man wolf whistling you in the street and you smashed a brick in his face >post fake story about cop beating up a black guy >go on any sub, find a really popular post from 6+ months ago and repost it >post s--- memes to normie cocksuckers you copy from instagram >go on any sub basically that allows for a story to be told and make up any s---. the more extreme the better. >copy any tweet from a black that insults whites, post it on their BIAcKpEOpLeTwltTeR sub >go on some trans sub and post about "being brave" by telling your father he's c--- because you love taking d--- in the shitbox >google any news story about a cop f------ up and post it >post more pictures of cute animals for the 13 year olds to go awwwwwwwww >when posting pictures of cute animals, speak like an autistic f------ sperg - use words like 'hooman' 'smol' 'pupper' and 'zoomies' All of this will net you an easy 10,000 karma a week. Go online. Sell the account. Going rates are $80 for an account that has 10k karma on it. Do this with several accounts at a time, and you can basically treat it as a second job. Thats right guys, posting absolute f------ low quality s--- on reddit for incels, femcels, turbovirigns, blm fans and leftie fart sniffers etc can literally be your next job. Always have one account you don't sell. Turtle it up to 100,000 karma. Going rate online for this is TWO THOUSAND F------ DOLLARS.

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Anon is a sperg | /r/Greentext

>boss calls me into his office with HR >he tells me they got a customer complaint that I was very "stand-off" and "distant" and that I need to communicate better and be more cheerful >for some reason say "Sorry, I'm austistic." >I'm not even diagnosed as autistic >he apologizes and tells me to get back to work >fast forward 2 weeks to today >coworkers tell me to check the website, front page is "Diversity and Equal Opportunity" and a "Get to Know Our Team" >a slide show automatically starts and there's some of my black coworkers, someone in a wheel chair and then me from an office christmas party photo, with my name and blurb stating "Anon is autistic but we find his unique approach and creativity a huge attribute to >HR printed off a bunch of posters of "Our Diversity is Our Strength" and "Disabilities are different Abilities" and I'm on the disability one, they photoshopped a puzzle ribbon by me, they're framed all around the office >suddenly coworkers start treating me like an actual retard and women talk to me like l'm some sort of retarded child >manager started calling me "big guy" and constantly asks if I need help despite being fine
>boss calls me into his office with HR >he tells me they got a customer complaint that I was very "stand-off" and "distant" and that I need to communicate better and be more cheerful >for some reason say "Sorry, I'm austistic." >I'm not even diagnosed as autistic >he apologizes and tells me to get back to work >fast forward 2 weeks to today >coworkers tell me to check the website, front page is "Diversity and Equal Opportunity" and a "Get to Know Our Team" >a slide show automatically starts and there's some of my black coworkers, someone in a wheel chair and then me from an office christmas party photo, with my name and blurb stating "Anon is autistic but we find his unique approach and creativity a huge attribute to >HR printed off a bunch of posters of "Our Diversity is Our Strength" and "Disabilities are different Abilities" and I'm on the disability one, they photoshopped a puzzle ribbon by me, they're framed all around the office >suddenly coworkers start treating me like an actual retard and women talk to me like l'm some sort of retarded child >manager started calling me "big guy" and constantly asks if I need help despite being fine

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seasonal shitpost by anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)03:37:35 No.4072081 >*bzz* *bzz* >builds nests on your eaves >*bzz bzz* *bzzt* >somehow teleports past the screens in all your windows and buzzes around indoors 7 KB JPG >*bzzzzt* *bzzz* *buzz* *bzz* >mmmm yummy drywall >*bzzzzz* >divebombs your head and wakes you up at 2:00am >*buzzz* *bzzzzzzt* Spring is just around the corner, Anon :-)
: Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)03:37:35 No.4072081 >*bzz* *bzz* >builds nests on your eaves >*bzz bzz* *bzzt* >somehow teleports past the screens in all your windows and buzzes around indoors 7 KB JPG >*bzzzzt* *bzzz* *buzz* *bzz* >mmmm yummy drywall >*bzzzzz* >divebombs your head and wakes you up at 2:00am >*buzzz* *bzzzzzzt* Spring is just around the corner, Anon :-)

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backroom anon | /r/Greentext

JAnonymous 03/29/21(Mon)13:08:35 No.549984012 2>54998412 e: 1607694157686.jpg (429 KB, 1082x928) >DUDE CHECK IT OUT >THERE'S NOTHING HERE, ISN'T THAT SCARY???
JAnonymous 03/29/21(Mon)13:08:35 No.549984012 2>54998412 e: 1607694157686.jpg (429 KB, 1082x928) >DUDE CHECK IT OUT >THERE'S NOTHING HERE, ISN'T THAT SCARY???

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Anon gets laid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: UqpH3t9K) 06/12/13(Wed)23:47:22 No.486662641 >be me, 14 >my sister is 16 >be at home one night, dad is out >sister is wearing bra and panties >boner.jpg >sitting on the couch watching tv >she says she's going to bed, goes to her room >dad gets home >dad and I f---
Anonymous (ID: UqpH3t9K) 06/12/13(Wed)23:47:22 No.486662641 >be me, 14 >my sister is 16 >be at home one night, dad is out >sister is wearing bra and panties >boner.jpg >sitting on the couch watching tv >she says she's going to bed, goes to her room >dad gets home >dad and I f---

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Anon on a family reunion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/16/18(Fri)23:37:42 No.785048331 itt: /b/'s best childhood autism stories I'll go first... > be me > 8 or 9 at the time > on airplane to family reunion > tumtum doing a rumbly > sudden urge to s--- 37 KB PNG > run down aisle towards bathroom > start aggressively farting > bump in to snack cart and fart more > get to bathroom > unleash s--- all over toilet seat > wat_do.jpg > think it's a good idea to try and clean it by swiveling my ass cheeks around the toilet seat repeatedly > justified it by some s--- I had read about friction or something > start doing it to a beat > start humming to the beat > door opens > mfw when I forgot to lock the door > mfw a random dude walked in on my spinning around in my own s--- and humming > he slowly closes the door > continue spinning
: Anonymous 11/16/18(Fri)23:37:42 No.785048331 itt: /b/'s best childhood autism stories I'll go first... > be me > 8 or 9 at the time > on airplane to family reunion > tumtum doing a rumbly > sudden urge to s--- 37 KB PNG > run down aisle towards bathroom > start aggressively farting > bump in to snack cart and fart more > get to bathroom > unleash s--- all over toilet seat > wat_do.jpg > think it's a good idea to try and clean it by swiveling my ass cheeks around the toilet seat repeatedly > justified it by some s--- I had read about friction or something > start doing it to a beat > start humming to the beat > door opens > mfw when I forgot to lock the door > mfw a random dude walked in on my spinning around in my own s--- and humming > he slowly closes the door > continue spinning

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Anon gets hard | /r/Greentext

File: 1359198371947.jpg-(3 KB, 114x125, 1234.jpg) C Anonymous (ID: U7vtMS3Z) 01/26/13(Sat) Stories from the past that you wont tell >be 16 >sitting on the bus >Get boner >It's really noticable >My GF is to my left >she starts touching boner >Feelsgoodman.jpg >Gives me h------ >Every one starts noticing >E-------- out of fear >Pants all covered in j--- >Bus driver shows tape to princible >Principal Invites parents to school >Get expelled >Dad laughs at me and never takes me serious >Mom takes me to the therapist >Hate my GF right now >My GF is my hand
File: 1359198371947.jpg-(3 KB, 114x125, 1234.jpg) C Anonymous (ID: U7vtMS3Z) 01/26/13(Sat) Stories from the past that you wont tell >be 16 >sitting on the bus >Get boner >It's really noticable >My GF is to my left >she starts touching boner >Feelsgoodman.jpg >Gives me h------ >Every one starts noticing >E-------- out of fear >Pants all covered in j--- >Bus driver shows tape to princible >Principal Invites parents to school >Get expelled >Dad laughs at me and never takes me serious >Mom takes me to the therapist >Hate my GF right now >My GF is my hand

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Anon served in Iraq. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)09:13:47 No.51972905 I went to kicking down doors in Iraq to jerking off to Harley Quinn p--- on rule 34. My brother is married with 2 kids, and I'm 38 and still live with my 142 KB JPG mom. : Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)09:15:17 No.51972914 >>51972905 (OP) # Thank you for your service
: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)09:13:47 No.51972905 I went to kicking down doors in Iraq to jerking off to Harley Quinn p--- on rule 34. My brother is married with 2 kids, and I'm 38 and still live with my 142 KB JPG mom. : Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)09:15:17 No.51972914 >>51972905 (OP) # Thank you for your service

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Anon has a dog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)22:50:16 No.48900416 >dog keeps mauling the neighbourhood children >have to dye his fur a different colour every time, so he doesn't get put down >s--- still keeps happening, though >probably spent half my income on 1.68 MB GIF dyes >honestly don't plan on doing much else about it >mainly because I think the snot noises deserve it >but still >for each mauling, I panic >for fear of the police, parents, or mass hysteria, etc >been going on for nearly a year now >yet still somehow don't suspect me >and the worst part is, they legitimately believe there's a pack of neon-coloured malamutes hiding out nearby F------ kill me.
: Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)22:50:16 No.48900416 >dog keeps mauling the neighbourhood children >have to dye his fur a different colour every time, so he doesn't get put down >s--- still keeps happening, though >probably spent half my income on 1.68 MB GIF dyes >honestly don't plan on doing much else about it >mainly because I think the snot noises deserve it >but still >for each mauling, I panic >for fear of the police, parents, or mass hysteria, etc >been going on for nearly a year now >yet still somehow don't suspect me >and the worst part is, they legitimately believe there's a pack of neon-coloured malamutes hiding out nearby F------ kill me.

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Anon sings | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)17:06:15 No.49245722 >**Tap tap tap tap** >Excuse me everyone >Girls go to college to get more knowledge! >Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider! 34 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)17:07:51 No.49245751 >>49245722 (OP) # >Testing one two testing one two >**Sniff sniff** >N------ go to mars to get behind bars! 14 KB JPG >>49245763 # >>49248606 # >>49249276 # >>49249311 # : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)17:08:39 No.49245763 >>49245751 # >>49245722 (OP) # >Thank you everyone! >You have been a wonderful audience. 33 KB JPG >>49245875 # >>49248606 # >>49249311 #
: Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)17:06:15 No.49245722 >**Tap tap tap tap** >Excuse me everyone >Girls go to college to get more knowledge! >Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider! 34 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)17:07:51 No.49245751 >>49245722 (OP) # >Testing one two testing one two >**Sniff sniff** >N------ go to mars to get behind bars! 14 KB JPG >>49245763 # >>49248606 # >>49249276 # >>49249311 # : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)17:08:39 No.49245763 >>49245751 # >>49245722 (OP) # >Thank you everyone! >You have been a wonderful audience. 33 KB JPG >>49245875 # >>49248606 # >>49249311 #

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Anon hits a car | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)07:10:54 No.784688427 >>784681673 Damn kids and the internet. >find a car parked in some urban sidewalk >hit said car 22 KB PNG >sideswipe it real good >drive away >buy movie tickets to newest 'marvel' or sheeple blockbuster >write a letter telling them you felt so bad about hitting their car >bought them a gift to make up for it >put tickets in envelope with letter >return to scene of crime >leave letter under windshield wiper >wait for them to take it >wait for them to go to the movie >rob their house >gg ez
: Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)07:10:54 No.784688427 >>784681673 Damn kids and the internet. >find a car parked in some urban sidewalk >hit said car 22 KB PNG >sideswipe it real good >drive away >buy movie tickets to newest 'marvel' or sheeple blockbuster >write a letter telling them you felt so bad about hitting their car >bought them a gift to make up for it >put tickets in envelope with letter >return to scene of crime >leave letter under windshield wiper >wait for them to take it >wait for them to go to the movie >rob their house >gg ez

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Anon does art | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Anon is artistic 01/09/19(Wed)09:46:03 No.50327214 >be me >be today >parents want to talk with me >okay whatever.mp3 >tell me l'm artistic R >be happy >say I always liked drawing >fulltardmode.mp3 50 KB JPG >they start crying >go play vidya >mfw pic slightly related
: Anonymous Anon is artistic 01/09/19(Wed)09:46:03 No.50327214 >be me >be today >parents want to talk with me >okay whatever.mp3 >tell me l'm artistic R >be happy >say I always liked drawing >fulltardmode.mp3 50 KB JPG >they start crying >go play vidya >mfw pic slightly related

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Anon met a modern girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)00:15:28 No.872810688 >in club >meet girl >has mask on bc covid >it's dark but shes cute from what I can tell >dance for a bit 73 KB JPG >go to bathroom >she takes down her mask to kiss me >notice she had a light mustache >it was a cross dresser I was wondered why her d--- was bigger than mine
: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)00:15:28 No.872810688 >in club >meet girl >has mask on bc covid >it's dark but shes cute from what I can tell >dance for a bit 73 KB JPG >go to bathroom >she takes down her mask to kiss me >notice she had a light mustache >it was a cross dresser I was wondered why her d--- was bigger than mine

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Anon needs fitness plans!! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40 No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks 61 KB PNG now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel : Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt >>737630720 #
: Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40 No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks 61 KB PNG now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel : Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt >>737630720 #

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Anon plays with slow motion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:38:16 No.699741454 >>699735884 (OP) # >get iPhone 5s >play with slow motion video >wanted to see my d--- hit something in slow motion. >hit erect d--- on dresser >watched replay >f------ sweet >thought gf would like to see. >video doesn't send in slow motion >normal paced video of me beating the f--- out of my dresser with my c---. >gf thinks I'm a psycho. >breaks up with me. >If it wasn't so funny, I would have cared. >>699741592 # >>699741696 # >>699741789 # >>699741902 # >>699741980 #
: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:38:16 No.699741454 >>699735884 (OP) # >get iPhone 5s >play with slow motion video >wanted to see my d--- hit something in slow motion. >hit erect d--- on dresser >watched replay >f------ sweet >thought gf would like to see. >video doesn't send in slow motion >normal paced video of me beating the f--- out of my dresser with my c---. >gf thinks I'm a psycho. >breaks up with me. >If it wasn't so funny, I would have cared. >>699741592 # >>699741696 # >>699741789 # >>699741902 # >>699741980 #

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Anon hits a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/17/18(Sat)18:17:01 No.49343343 >3rd grade >grew up with dad, had an absentee mom >Told me to hit people back if they hit me first, didn't tell me it doesn't here we go apply to girls >in class, a roastie talks s--- to me 34 KB JPG for no reason >politely told her to stop, kept talking s---. >she eventually shoves me >whothefuckisthisbitch >slam one on her face >flies across the room, knocked unconscious with her skull cracked and starting to bleed >class runs away in fear of me >principal comes down >screams at me and calls the cops >got fired later that day >f---
: Anonymous 11/17/18(Sat)18:17:01 No.49343343 >3rd grade >grew up with dad, had an absentee mom >Told me to hit people back if they hit me first, didn't tell me it doesn't here we go apply to girls >in class, a roastie talks s--- to me 34 KB JPG for no reason >politely told her to stop, kept talking s---. >she eventually shoves me >whothefuckisthisbitch >slam one on her face >flies across the room, knocked unconscious with her skull cracked and starting to bleed >class runs away in fear of me >principal comes down >screams at me and calls the cops >got fired later that day >f---

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Anon is raging | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/22/18(Mon)11:36:28 No.782965732 Spotify mobile app is GARBAGE > Get ad > Ok > Search one song i want to play > No play button, just "shuffle play > Press it in the hope that it'll play the song i want first or at least stuff related to the 65 KB JPG artist > Nope, purely random s--- > Add to playlist instead > Go to playlist > Press song > Plays preview instead of whole song > F------ raging at this point > Press "play playlist" > Only have like 3 songs in list > Plays a song I didn't even add > Skip to next song > "You only have 6 skips per 30 minutes!" > Fuckingwannadie.jpg > Only plays s--- that's not even in my playlist but spotify decided to add > Spotify says "MAYBE INSTEAD OF SKIPPING EDIT PLAYLIST?" > Smashingphone.gif > Edit playlist, remove songs spotify added > SPOTIFY KEEPS ADDING SONGS > Go to settings, can I disable this? > no > F------ uninstalled
: Anonymous 10/22/18(Mon)11:36:28 No.782965732 Spotify mobile app is GARBAGE > Get ad > Ok > Search one song i want to play > No play button, just "shuffle play > Press it in the hope that it'll play the song i want first or at least stuff related to the 65 KB JPG artist > Nope, purely random s--- > Add to playlist instead > Go to playlist > Press song > Plays preview instead of whole song > F------ raging at this point > Press "play playlist" > Only have like 3 songs in list > Plays a song I didn't even add > Skip to next song > "You only have 6 skips per 30 minutes!" > Fuckingwannadie.jpg > Only plays s--- that's not even in my playlist but spotify decided to add > Spotify says "MAYBE INSTEAD OF SKIPPING EDIT PLAYLIST?" > Smashingphone.gif > Edit playlist, remove songs spotify added > SPOTIFY KEEPS ADDING SONGS > Go to settings, can I disable this? > no > F------ uninstalled

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anons don't ask questions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)21:46:00 No.872826705 Years ago, an image was posted here of dismembered body parts in a freezer. I submitted an anonymous tip to the FBI and spoke to them during legal proceedings, and now, a few weeks ago, I learned they finally caught the guy. AMA 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)21:47:58 No.872826803 >>872826705 (OP) # Just a heads up, I will not disclose the name of the agent in charge of the investigation. : Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)21:48:28 No.872826823 >>872826705 (OP) # Snitch. ANGERY 35 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)21:46:00 No.872826705 Years ago, an image was posted here of dismembered body parts in a freezer. I submitted an anonymous tip to the FBI and spoke to them during legal proceedings, and now, a few weeks ago, I learned they finally caught the guy. AMA 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)21:47:58 No.872826803 >>872826705 (OP) # Just a heads up, I will not disclose the name of the agent in charge of the investigation. : Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)21:48:28 No.872826823 >>872826705 (OP) # Snitch. ANGERY 35 KB JPG

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Anon needs fitness plans!! | /r/Greentext


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