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Anon is home alone | /r/Greentext

>Be me, suspended from school >Wake up home alone >J------- >Nobody's around so I decide to tell really loudly during my coom >Pull up my pants >Begin walking around my house with my 20 KB JPG phone playing old rock music really loudly >l'm singing and dancing around like an autist, imagining that me and my friends are in a band playing the songs >I can smell the coom from my j------- session earlier >Decide to take a shower >In the shower for like 20 minutes screeching Amarillo by Morning at the top of my lungs >Finish shower, turn off the water >"Anon what do you want from Dunkin?" >Mfw it was my mom >Mfw she never left >My f------ face when she was listening to all of that in the next room over This happened 5 or 6 years ago and it still keeps me up at night
>Be me, suspended from school >Wake up home alone >J------- >Nobody's around so I decide to tell really loudly during my coom >Pull up my pants >Begin walking around my house with my 20 KB JPG phone playing old rock music really loudly >l'm singing and dancing around like an autist, imagining that me and my friends are in a band playing the songs >I can smell the coom from my j------- session earlier >Decide to take a shower >In the shower for like 20 minutes screeching Amarillo by Morning at the top of my lungs >Finish shower, turn off the water >"Anon what do you want from Dunkin?" >Mfw it was my mom >Mfw she never left >My f------ face when she was listening to all of that in the next room over This happened 5 or 6 years ago and it still keeps me up at night

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Anon doesn‘t get incels | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)13:58:43 No.63467260 >despises women >writes essays on why women are terrible >god I wish I could have a wife >writes essays on why being an incel is terrible 74 KB PNG >continues to despise women even more Why do they do this to themselves?
: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)13:58:43 No.63467260 >despises women >writes essays on why women are terrible >god I wish I could have a wife >writes essays on why being an incel is terrible 74 KB PNG >continues to despise women even more Why do they do this to themselves?

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Anon plays Paper Mario | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/18(Sat)19:13:48 No.772383429 >be 9 >playing Paper Mario >halfway through game get to part where you have to buy a quest item from a store >shop owner (toad) says item is out of stock and will be in stock soon 309 KB PNG >assume it means I have to actually WAIT for it >spend 3 IRL months checking in the game to see if the item has come in stock yet >8 years later watching a speedrun of the game >realize you didn't have to f------ wait for it, you just had to f------ continue the game and it'd come after a checkpoint am I retarded 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/23/18(Sat)19:26:54 No.772384417 yes
: Anonymous 06/23/18(Sat)19:13:48 No.772383429 >be 9 >playing Paper Mario >halfway through game get to part where you have to buy a quest item from a store >shop owner (toad) says item is out of stock and will be in stock soon 309 KB PNG >assume it means I have to actually WAIT for it >spend 3 IRL months checking in the game to see if the item has come in stock yet >8 years later watching a speedrun of the game >realize you didn't have to f------ wait for it, you just had to f------ continue the game and it'd come after a checkpoint am I retarded 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/23/18(Sat)19:26:54 No.772384417 yes

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Anon had me in the fist half | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Zwfn0gJH Imagine... 05/01/21(Sat)11:17:41 No.319493977 >be me >Be an arbitrary currency that is not backed by anything >be the source of inflation caused by over-speculation and the over- reliance on investment firms >be the source of revenue for 130 KB JPG criminals, ponzi schemes and multi-level marketing scams >be the US Dollar Pic unrelated.
: Anonymous (ID: Zwfn0gJH Imagine... 05/01/21(Sat)11:17:41 No.319493977 >be me >Be an arbitrary currency that is not backed by anything >be the source of inflation caused by over-speculation and the over- reliance on investment firms >be the source of revenue for 130 KB JPG criminals, ponzi schemes and multi-level marketing scams >be the US Dollar Pic unrelated.

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Anon uses an Aimbot | /r/Greentext

Hey you denizens, I'm back with another story. >be me >16 going on 17 >Nephew invites me to his Bday party 15 KB JPG >why not >learn he invited his friends and crush >l arrive >see his bois and his crush >j------- located >day goes on >playing nerf and kicking ass >end of the day >we have a room with a wall of nerf guns and ammo >me and crush on a team >we go into room to get supplies >loading my mags thinking about game plan >hear from behind “now is as good a time as any" >turn around >her belt is off and shes pulling her pants down >This bitch >"pull your pants up" >shes listens >run out of the room and immediately shoot a dart down the barrel of my nephews gun jamming it. >win >i can feel my self confidence growing ever stronger >End the night with her playing with my hair as i sit on the floor resting >Nephew is p----- Its nerf or nothing bitch.
Hey you denizens, I'm back with another story. >be me >16 going on 17 >Nephew invites me to his Bday party 15 KB JPG >why not >learn he invited his friends and crush >l arrive >see his bois and his crush >j------- located >day goes on >playing nerf and kicking ass >end of the day >we have a room with a wall of nerf guns and ammo >me and crush on a team >we go into room to get supplies >loading my mags thinking about game plan >hear from behind “now is as good a time as any" >turn around >her belt is off and shes pulling her pants down >This bitch >"pull your pants up" >shes listens >run out of the room and immediately shoot a dart down the barrel of my nephews gun jamming it. >win >i can feel my self confidence growing ever stronger >End the night with her playing with my hair as i sit on the floor resting >Nephew is p----- Its nerf or nothing bitch.

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Anon can't grow beard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:31:50 No.63453403 >tfw you aren't allowed to do the things Chad will do as society will judge you >tfw you are genetic dead end just because you have no chin Only a couple millimetres decide your fate 6 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:42:22 No.63453505 >>63453403 (OP)# Grow a beard f----- >>63453562 # : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:49:51 No.63453562 >>63453505 # I cannot
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:31:50 No.63453403 >tfw you aren't allowed to do the things Chad will do as society will judge you >tfw you are genetic dead end just because you have no chin Only a couple millimetres decide your fate 6 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:42:22 No.63453505 >>63453403 (OP)# Grow a beard f----- >>63453562 # : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:49:51 No.63453562 >>63453505 # I cannot

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Anon uses a printer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 793412902 12 min. ago ••• Greentext stories thread. I'll start >be me >horny as f--- the whole day >finally come home >directly boot up pc and start fapping >mid-fap want to switch to different p--- vid >try to use my left hand to use the mouse since d--- is in right one >miss click the right mouse button and click print from the menu >think nothing of it since printer is off and it needs approval to print s--- >fast forward acouple of days later >mom wants to print an excel chart for work 8.6 kB JPG >calls me to help her >printer s---- out 2 sheets of paper >mfw i see a screencap of the weird p--- s--- i was watching slowly emerge from the printer
Anonymous | 793412902 12 min. ago ••• Greentext stories thread. I'll start >be me >horny as f--- the whole day >finally come home >directly boot up pc and start fapping >mid-fap want to switch to different p--- vid >try to use my left hand to use the mouse since d--- is in right one >miss click the right mouse button and click print from the menu >think nothing of it since printer is off and it needs approval to print s--- >fast forward acouple of days later >mom wants to print an excel chart for work 8.6 kB JPG >calls me to help her >printer s---- out 2 sheets of paper >mfw i see a screencap of the weird p--- s--- i was watching slowly emerge from the printer

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anon is child free | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/27/19(Thu)23:04:40 No.803324532 >stupid as f--- >you have to teach them everything >also have to feed them >have to clean up their s--- >will wake you at unreasonable 55 KB JPG hours >most people consider them cute, but they aren't >expensive to take care of Why do people want babies? Pic unrelated
: Anonymous 06/27/19(Thu)23:04:40 No.803324532 >stupid as f--- >you have to teach them everything >also have to feed them >have to clean up their s--- >will wake you at unreasonable 55 KB JPG hours >most people consider them cute, but they aren't >expensive to take care of Why do people want babies? Pic unrelated

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Anon is from Chicago | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/17(Wed)20:23:52 No.721801441 >Be me >Walking around downtown Chicago >Find flashdrive >Take it home and boot it up on my laptop >One folder on it 7 KB JPG >Named MF.exe >Open it >Filled with hundreds of pictures of Morgan Freeman >mfw Pic related, it was on the drive 8 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 02/08/17(Wed)20:23:52 No.721801441 >Be me >Walking around downtown Chicago >Find flashdrive >Take it home and boot it up on my laptop >One folder on it 7 KB JPG >Named MF.exe >Open it >Filled with hundreds of pictures of Morgan Freeman >mfw Pic related, it was on the drive 8 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon’s world has been shattered | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ngmi 04/30/21(Fri)20:50:47 No.63460967 > Always thought I was an average 5'8. >mfw am actually f------ 5'7. 28 KB JPG
: Anonymous ngmi 04/30/21(Fri)20:50:47 No.63460967 > Always thought I was an average 5'8. >mfw am actually f------ 5'7. 28 KB JPG

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Anon on FDS | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:29:10 No.63455454 r/femaledatingstrategy: > Bragging to random people on the internet about how you will most likely be single forever > Hates men > Traceable account 6 KB JPG 4chan: > Bragging to random people on the internet about how you will most likely be single forever > Hates women > Anonymous and they act like we're the dumb ones reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)19:29:10 No.63455454 r/femaledatingstrategy: > Bragging to random people on the internet about how you will most likely be single forever > Hates men > Traceable account 6 KB JPG 4chan: > Bragging to random people on the internet about how you will most likely be single forever > Hates women > Anonymous and they act like we're the dumb ones reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/

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A school shooting changes Anon's life. | /r/Greentext

: onymous 12/27/18(Thu)12:26:40 No.788358682 >be me >sophomore in highschool >1999 >picked on EVERY. F------. DAY >always "haha you're a f----- anon" "f--- anon he's weird" "get a life anon" 9 KB JPG >then one day something happened >something magical >FUCKINGCOLUMBINE.Jpeg >suddenly I'm not so weird >suddenly people say "hey anon how you doing today?" "Hey anon there's a party at chads house tonight you should come" >mfw columbine improved my highschool life 500% because these normies thought I was gonna go Library squad on them Felt good man.
: onymous 12/27/18(Thu)12:26:40 No.788358682 >be me >sophomore in highschool >1999 >picked on EVERY. F------. DAY >always "haha you're a f----- anon" "f--- anon he's weird" "get a life anon" 9 KB JPG >then one day something happened >something magical >FUCKINGCOLUMBINE.Jpeg >suddenly I'm not so weird >suddenly people say "hey anon how you doing today?" "Hey anon there's a party at chads house tonight you should come" >mfw columbine improved my highschool life 500% because these normies thought I was gonna go Library squad on them Felt good man.

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Anon arrives in cat | /r/Greentext

File: 1350838500290.jpg-(8 KB, 341x321, me.jpg) Anonymous (ID: 14WGAYRQ) 10/21/12(Sun)12:55:00 No.431948857 Replies: >>431949621 let has alpha thread start >19 >make vision to hot girl on road >she reply >i ambulatory to her >she try go away >i pursue >faster than her, am like tiger chase rabbit, she slow enough >she query "what want" >i respond "cat" >she receive naked >i sex her in road >car honk >shout f--- off i preoccupy with sex the cat >taxi commander exit >punch face and commander defeat >girl scream 'what you do' >i say "shut f---" >arrive in her cat >feces so money image familiar
File: 1350838500290.jpg-(8 KB, 341x321, me.jpg) Anonymous (ID: 14WGAYRQ) 10/21/12(Sun)12:55:00 No.431948857 Replies: >>431949621 let has alpha thread start >19 >make vision to hot girl on road >she reply >i ambulatory to her >she try go away >i pursue >faster than her, am like tiger chase rabbit, she slow enough >she query "what want" >i respond "cat" >she receive naked >i sex her in road >car honk >shout f--- off i preoccupy with sex the cat >taxi commander exit >punch face and commander defeat >girl scream 'what you do' >i say "shut f---" >arrive in her cat >feces so money image familiar

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Dummy switch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)22:08:34 No.63461915 > be me, suicidal > build machine that will shoot me in the head with perfect accuracy, plan to use it one day > get really drunk one night > for some reason feel a ray of 39 KB JPG hope and dont want to kms > realize im so drunk i wont remember this moment > deliberately break part of my suicide machine so that it wont work when activated > fast forward 2 months, back to suicidal, forgot about drunken night > decide to end it all with the suicide machine > the millisecond after I activate the suicide machine, I feel huge wave of regret > machine fails as planned > realize I never want to attempt suicide again and will make my life better how will you prevent yourself from making the biggest mistake of your life?
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)22:08:34 No.63461915 > be me, suicidal > build machine that will shoot me in the head with perfect accuracy, plan to use it one day > get really drunk one night > for some reason feel a ray of 39 KB JPG hope and dont want to kms > realize im so drunk i wont remember this moment > deliberately break part of my suicide machine so that it wont work when activated > fast forward 2 months, back to suicidal, forgot about drunken night > decide to end it all with the suicide machine > the millisecond after I activate the suicide machine, I feel huge wave of regret > machine fails as planned > realize I never want to attempt suicide again and will make my life better how will you prevent yourself from making the biggest mistake of your life?

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Anon has faith | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/16/19(Sat)07:27:38 No.55367459 >>55367192 (OP)# Always have faith bro >Cat bro doesn't come inside when I call him in for the night >Get worried, can't sleep >Doesn't show the next day, or the next >Week goes by, I'm beside myself knowing my cat's dead >Ten days later neighbor calls me >Said he opened his garage door and thinks my cat bolted out >Run downstairs >Cat bro is sitting by the back door, super skinny but acting like nothing happened Don't give up hope for your bro
: Anonymous 11/16/19(Sat)07:27:38 No.55367459 >>55367192 (OP)# Always have faith bro >Cat bro doesn't come inside when I call him in for the night >Get worried, can't sleep >Doesn't show the next day, or the next >Week goes by, I'm beside myself knowing my cat's dead >Ten days later neighbor calls me >Said he opened his garage door and thinks my cat bolted out >Run downstairs >Cat bro is sitting by the back door, super skinny but acting like nothing happened Don't give up hope for your bro

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Anon is a grown up now | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)23:27:20 No.63413282 >be me >18yo uni student >chilling with some people outside during lunch >we take turns throwing a plastic package of salad dressing up in the air to see if it'll pop open 89 KB JPG >my turn >autism.exe >yeet the sauce on the table with full force >package breaks, people covered in sauce >mfw it was white sauce >mfw it landed on some girls >later virgins
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)23:27:20 No.63413282 >be me >18yo uni student >chilling with some people outside during lunch >we take turns throwing a plastic package of salad dressing up in the air to see if it'll pop open 89 KB JPG >my turn >autism.exe >yeet the sauce on the table with full force >package breaks, people covered in sauce >mfw it was white sauce >mfw it landed on some girls >later virgins

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