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Anon falls asleep in class | /r/Greentext


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Anon has an intimidating presence | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)10:56:02 No.163356082 >cutie and me about to pass eachother on the sidewalk >She crosses the street Do you suffer from intimidating charm in your country as well? 80 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)10:56:02 No.163356082 >cutie and me about to pass eachother on the sidewalk >She crosses the street Do you suffer from intimidating charm in your country as well? 80 KB JPG

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Anon is having trouble with women | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a schizo. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)06:27:23 No.68323264 >be me on bus >pretend to make a phone call >I loudly proclaim "Dr Anon, the voices are getting louder I must speak to you urgently" >everyone is visibly shocked 17 KB JPG Welcome to reality
Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)06:27:23 No.68323264 >be me on bus >pretend to make a phone call >I loudly proclaim "Dr Anon, the voices are getting louder I must speak to you urgently" >everyone is visibly shocked 17 KB JPG Welcome to reality

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Anon is socially awkward | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)06:03:54 No.68320421 >female coworker speaks to me >heart starts pounding >arms begin to shake >start feeling nauseous >unable to focus on anything for the next 30 minutes 113 KB JPG How do I fix this?
: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)06:03:54 No.68320421 >female coworker speaks to me >heart starts pounding >arms begin to shake >start feeling nauseous >unable to focus on anything for the next 30 minutes 113 KB JPG How do I fix this?

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Anon finds a cure to depression | /r/Greentext


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Anon is Johnny Depp | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)06:04:41 No.166919324 >a mega pint? 10 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)06:04:41 No.166919324 >a mega pint? 10 KB JPG

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anon loves eve and galion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/22/20(Thu)17:44:27 No.58036157 BISO 21e51dcf89bb40a78d137eaf072d7645.jpg 41 KB JPG >don't really like protein shakes >imagine it's mommy misato's breastmilk >chug it down no problem
: Anonymous 10/22/20(Thu)17:44:27 No.58036157 BISO 21e51dcf89bb40a78d137eaf072d7645.jpg 41 KB JPG >don't really like protein shakes >imagine it's mommy misato's breastmilk >chug it down no problem

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Anon is 007 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)20:57:57 No.63684304 >chief, this guy has no social media >no job record >no pictures >no girlfriend >he's a ghost 25 KB JPG 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)21:05:57 No.63684381 >>63684304 (OP) # >chief, we tried to pull a tail on him, but we cant even tell if hes got a car >he hasnt even got a drivers license on record >and when we looked for an address, the best we got was his mothers house >we did twenty days of surveillance and never saw him come in or out >we ended up pulling up old tax records, and we cant even find a single job on record >all we found is that, in 2019, he made $26 dollars trading on robinhood >no known associates, address, jobs, nothing >this guy's a pro 63684489 #
: Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)20:57:57 No.63684304 >chief, this guy has no social media >no job record >no pictures >no girlfriend >he's a ghost 25 KB JPG 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)21:05:57 No.63684381 >>63684304 (OP) # >chief, we tried to pull a tail on him, but we cant even tell if hes got a car >he hasnt even got a drivers license on record >and when we looked for an address, the best we got was his mothers house >we did twenty days of surveillance and never saw him come in or out >we ended up pulling up old tax records, and we cant even find a single job on record >all we found is that, in 2019, he made $26 dollars trading on robinhood >no known associates, address, jobs, nothing >this guy's a pro 63684489 #

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anon makes mead | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)16:49:06 No.876679967 >be me >making mead >have to shake that s--- for like 20 minutes >10 Ibs of water and honey >finally finish after what feels like hours of shaking >pick up soda can 237 KB PNG >instinctively shake the ever loving mother f--- out of the can >mfw
: Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)16:49:06 No.876679967 >be me >making mead >have to shake that s--- for like 20 minutes >10 Ibs of water and honey >finally finish after what feels like hours of shaking >pick up soda can 237 KB PNG >instinctively shake the ever loving mother f--- out of the can >mfw

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Anon harasses a cashier. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)15:52:48 No.68301213 >buying a new rug >cashier says "you must have a long hallway" >think that was a sexual innuendo hope she not a leser. >"only 5 inches actually" why am I so f------ stupid 384 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)15:52:48 No.68301213 >buying a new rug >cashier says "you must have a long hallway" >think that was a sexual innuendo hope she not a leser. >"only 5 inches actually" why am I so f------ stupid 384 KB PNG

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Anon makes British pizza | /r/Greentext


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Anon is as straight as a bent pipe. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)10:38:01 No.868758070 >took a t----- out for a hookup to have a fun greentext for /b/ >meet up, had to stop for gas rq >end up bullshitting around inside of a corner store burger king 72 KB JPG >turns out we've both been missing some xmas shopping >bum around various plazas and department stores >check out a christmas festival at night >the festive lights are highlighting her smile in a way that makes me think l'd never seen real happiness in a person before this moment >take her home >didn't even f--- >get a text making sure that I made it home okay >nobody's ever f------ done that for me before You f------ turned me in to a f-----
: Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)10:38:01 No.868758070 >took a t----- out for a hookup to have a fun greentext for /b/ >meet up, had to stop for gas rq >end up bullshitting around inside of a corner store burger king 72 KB JPG >turns out we've both been missing some xmas shopping >bum around various plazas and department stores >check out a christmas festival at night >the festive lights are highlighting her smile in a way that makes me think l'd never seen real happiness in a person before this moment >take her home >didn't even f--- >get a text making sure that I made it home okay >nobody's ever f------ done that for me before You f------ turned me in to a f-----

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Anon is a manlet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Tall men are taking ALL the fu(...) 04/22/22(Fri)07:26:24 No.68321034 >be on random Internet forum >see thread asking people to describe their crush at work >for literally EVERY F------ GUY the woman mentions he is tall 39 KB PNG I HATE THIS F------ WORLD. I HATE IT SO MUCH. WHY ARE WOMEN SO UNIMAGINITIVE
: Anonymous Tall men are taking ALL the fu(...) 04/22/22(Fri)07:26:24 No.68321034 >be on random Internet forum >see thread asking people to describe their crush at work >for literally EVERY F------ GUY the woman mentions he is tall 39 KB PNG I HATE THIS F------ WORLD. I HATE IT SO MUCH. WHY ARE WOMEN SO UNIMAGINITIVE

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Anon has a very good job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/11/20(Sun)17:09:22 No.60423731 >my job is taking care of retards >this one retard is pretty chill >told by other staff he's aggressive but ive never seen it >big issue we're working on with him is hygiene and not making messes >tard eats an apple whole and machine gun fires seeds all over the living room 4 KB JPG >calmly tell him "Remember what we said about appropriate behavior man? Let's not make a mess of apple seeds okay buddy?" >he stares at me for a good 5 seconds then punches himself hard as f--- at his head >tard f------ sucker punched himself >tell him to not do that >punches himself in the skull again >we're told to not get physical with the tards unless they present a threat to others >now whenever he sees me he socks himself in the head >get paid 10/hr for this
: Anonymous 10/11/20(Sun)17:09:22 No.60423731 >my job is taking care of retards >this one retard is pretty chill >told by other staff he's aggressive but ive never seen it >big issue we're working on with him is hygiene and not making messes >tard eats an apple whole and machine gun fires seeds all over the living room 4 KB JPG >calmly tell him "Remember what we said about appropriate behavior man? Let's not make a mess of apple seeds okay buddy?" >he stares at me for a good 5 seconds then punches himself hard as f--- at his head >tard f------ sucker punched himself >tell him to not do that >punches himself in the skull again >we're told to not get physical with the tards unless they present a threat to others >now whenever he sees me he socks himself in the head >get paid 10/hr for this

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Anon helps man find his dog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)00:00:01 No.47882933 >be me, 8 at the time >playing in front lawn >dude comes up with a van >dressed in trenchcoat and wearing dark glasses >"hey kid, wanna help me find my dog?" 196 KB GIF >not knowing better say, "sure!" >he takes my hand and leads me to his van >driving around for a little bit >stops >gets out >back of van opens, a dog leaps inside >oh boy!" >"okay, thanks for the help, want to go home now?" >"yeah!" >takes me home >telling parents about my adventure >dad rapes me View Thread
: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)00:00:01 No.47882933 >be me, 8 at the time >playing in front lawn >dude comes up with a van >dressed in trenchcoat and wearing dark glasses >"hey kid, wanna help me find my dog?" 196 KB GIF >not knowing better say, "sure!" >he takes my hand and leads me to his van >driving around for a little bit >stops >gets out >back of van opens, a dog leaps inside >oh boy!" >"okay, thanks for the help, want to go home now?" >"yeah!" >takes me home >telling parents about my adventure >dad rapes me View Thread

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Anon feels like a movie character | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)20:39:25 No.874856366 I can't stop acting like I'm in a dark movie. >Cousin talks to me >Eventually asks me the question "what did you lose?" 69 KB JPG >Whisper "Everything" with a dead stare >Meet this one chick >We talk >She tells me a joke >I whisper "That's funny" with a dead stare and no emotion : Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)20:58:59 No.874857421 The movie must be Rain Man because you're autistic. >>874857470 # >>874857927 #
: Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)20:39:25 No.874856366 I can't stop acting like I'm in a dark movie. >Cousin talks to me >Eventually asks me the question "what did you lose?" 69 KB JPG >Whisper "Everything" with a dead stare >Meet this one chick >We talk >She tells me a joke >I whisper "That's funny" with a dead stare and no emotion : Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)20:58:59 No.874857421 The movie must be Rain Man because you're autistic. >>874857470 # >>874857927 #

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Anon knows math | /r/Greentext

File: Milkor-MGL-AV140-01.jpg (77 KB, 1068x708) Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)17:40:13 No.53151111 > >>53151142 >>53151153 >>53151256 >>53151262 >>53151343 >>53151460 >>53151684 >grenade launcher + thermal scope I've solved urban combat. You're welcome. >> Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)17:41:18 No.53151125 ► >>53151139 >>53151145 >>53151150 >>53151169 >>53151225 >>53151277 >>53151382 >>53151437 >>53151656 Yeah but 1 kilogram of grenades weighs like 15 kilograms.
File: Milkor-MGL-AV140-01.jpg (77 KB, 1068x708) Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)17:40:13 No.53151111 > >>53151142 >>53151153 >>53151256 >>53151262 >>53151343 >>53151460 >>53151684 >grenade launcher + thermal scope I've solved urban combat. You're welcome. >> Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)17:41:18 No.53151125 ► >>53151139 >>53151145 >>53151150 >>53151169 >>53151225 >>53151277 >>53151382 >>53151437 >>53151656 Yeah but 1 kilogram of grenades weighs like 15 kilograms.

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Anon gives random kid a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)07:07:10 No.100049780 >be girl >middle school, early 2000s >walking to class >see some short kid getting Ishoved into the locker >tiny little hispanic kid and his two goons are harrassing this kid for lunch money >is this real life >take the little hispanic kid and put him in a chicken hold >tell him if he touches this kid again l'll beat his face into the locker so hard his parents wont be able to recognize him >he calls his goons off, runs away >short kid follows me around for the rest of the school year, carrying my books and taking care of my tamogotchi and letting me use his head as an armrest a couple years ago I looked him up on facebook and found he publicly joined a "muscle girl appreciation" group. >>100049844 # >>100049852 # >>100049860 # >>100050028 #
: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)07:07:10 No.100049780 >be girl >middle school, early 2000s >walking to class >see some short kid getting Ishoved into the locker >tiny little hispanic kid and his two goons are harrassing this kid for lunch money >is this real life >take the little hispanic kid and put him in a chicken hold >tell him if he touches this kid again l'll beat his face into the locker so hard his parents wont be able to recognize him >he calls his goons off, runs away >short kid follows me around for the rest of the school year, carrying my books and taking care of my tamogotchi and letting me use his head as an armrest a couple years ago I looked him up on facebook and found he publicly joined a "muscle girl appreciation" group. >>100049844 # >>100049852 # >>100049860 # >>100050028 #

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Anon hates Spotify | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)18:39:45 No.86370025 v >>86369961 (OP) >search for certain music track >only find is a playlist with the name of the track >the track is not in it >alternatively, it's a remix/remake absolutely f------ useless
Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)18:39:45 No.86370025 v >>86369961 (OP) >search for certain music track >only find is a playlist with the name of the track >the track is not in it >alternatively, it's a remix/remake absolutely f------ useless

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