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Silent but deadly | /r/Greentext

Living Nightmares pH Balanc Protecting Antibacterial care dr.org 57 KB JPG >bf found the fart pillow What is the fart pillow? Let me explain. >Bf comes over to my house or I stay over at his >Always bring the same pillow to fart into so he can't hear or smell it >Always stash it beside the bed so neither of us accidentally use it and get pink eye >Fast forward to tonight >Taking a shower at his house and hear him start gagging >'This pillow smells like straight up a------' >Mfw he used it and caught a whiff of my sweaty fart stash I played it off like I have no idea why it smells like that but I assume he knows. Post your nightmare scenarios and whether or not they happened yet here
Living Nightmares pH Balanc Protecting Antibacterial care dr.org 57 KB JPG >bf found the fart pillow What is the fart pillow? Let me explain. >Bf comes over to my house or I stay over at his >Always bring the same pillow to fart into so he can't hear or smell it >Always stash it beside the bed so neither of us accidentally use it and get pink eye >Fast forward to tonight >Taking a shower at his house and hear him start gagging >'This pillow smells like straight up a------' >Mfw he used it and caught a whiff of my sweaty fart stash I played it off like I have no idea why it smells like that but I assume he knows. Post your nightmare scenarios and whether or not they happened yet here

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Activated. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Here's my gym in suburban Massachusetts >The group of 20-30 crossfitters who see the gym as a social place >The middle aged woman who sings softly while working out 08/28/22(Sun)11:06:15 No.68138411 >Her husband, who always wears tank tops >The D3 athletes who have now transitioned into being trainers >>68138430 # >>68138496 # Anonymous new fetish activated. 08/28/22(Sun)11:08:23 No.68138430 >>68138411 # >The middle aged woman who sings softly while working out
Anonymous Here's my gym in suburban Massachusetts >The group of 20-30 crossfitters who see the gym as a social place >The middle aged woman who sings softly while working out 08/28/22(Sun)11:06:15 No.68138411 >Her husband, who always wears tank tops >The D3 athletes who have now transitioned into being trainers >>68138430 # >>68138496 # Anonymous new fetish activated. 08/28/22(Sun)11:08:23 No.68138430 >>68138411 # >The middle aged woman who sings softly while working out

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 64 KB JPG 08/28/22(Sun)13:39:59 No.884669660 >First day at new school. F--- it >Wear thrift store clothes and a helmet >Walk into school on first day >Drool and mumble >See a qt. Grab her booby >She gets mad. Teacher says it's okay because I'm neuro-divergent. Gets mad at qt >Randomly scream in class >Everyone says the new kid is special >Get my own tard wrangler >Grab her boobs >She doesn't get mad. I yell Ice Cream >She says I get ice cream if I don't grab boobs >Smile and nod. Get ice cream >End of day, I grab a qt by the p----. >Don't get in trouble Take the tard pill.
Anonymous 64 KB JPG 08/28/22(Sun)13:39:59 No.884669660 >First day at new school. F--- it >Wear thrift store clothes and a helmet >Walk into school on first day >Drool and mumble >See a qt. Grab her booby >She gets mad. Teacher says it's okay because I'm neuro-divergent. Gets mad at qt >Randomly scream in class >Everyone says the new kid is special >Get my own tard wrangler >Grab her boobs >She doesn't get mad. I yell Ice Cream >She says I get ice cream if I don't grab boobs >Smile and nod. Get ice cream >End of day, I grab a qt by the p----. >Don't get in trouble Take the tard pill.

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Anon isnt the sharpest tool in the shed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG Anonymous Q All Google "how do they put pepsi in the can" ??? 05/15/21 (Sat)12:02:32 No.28529460 >14,000,000 results Google "how do they put coke in the can" >0 results how do they put coke in the can what does this mean? Shopping 05/15/21(Sat)15:03:36 No.28530933 Videos Images About 169,000,000 results (0.62 seconds) What.png 9 KB PNG News More
Anonymous 11 KB JPG Anonymous Q All Google "how do they put pepsi in the can" ??? 05/15/21 (Sat)12:02:32 No.28529460 >14,000,000 results Google "how do they put coke in the can" >0 results how do they put coke in the can what does this mean? Shopping 05/15/21(Sat)15:03:36 No.28530933 Videos Images About 169,000,000 results (0.62 seconds) What.png 9 KB PNG News More

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Anon talks wisely | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/28/22(Sun)09:56:39 No.69989264 >be you >NEET >no hobbies but consooming and cooming >has goals but never actually pursues them >filled with misplaced hatred >pushes away any opportunity for even the smallest success because of le perceived mindset of already having failed >wonders why no gf >wonders why no friends >wonders why no happiness or stability Take a look in the mirror anon 6 KB JPG
Anonymous 08/28/22(Sun)09:56:39 No.69989264 >be you >NEET >no hobbies but consooming and cooming >has goals but never actually pursues them >filled with misplaced hatred >pushes away any opportunity for even the smallest success because of le perceived mindset of already having failed >wonders why no gf >wonders why no friends >wonders why no happiness or stability Take a look in the mirror anon 6 KB JPG

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Anon has no problems | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 minutes ago 6rUOCxRm.jpg (13.7 KB, 320x310) X >have "problem" >don't care >have no problem Life is literally so easy
Anonymous 9 minutes ago 6rUOCxRm.jpg (13.7 KB, 320x310) X >have "problem" >don't care >have no problem Life is literally so easy

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anon is a rational thinker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: H4k0m0OE) TEEN WHO TRANSITIONED AT 16 NO(...) 08/04/20(Tue)14:33:07 No.271131501 theblaze UK teen girl wanted to be male; got breasts removed, took testosterone. Now 23, she says doctors should have 'challenged' her decision - and is suing. Anonymous (ID: BAvuhMxs) 3 FOLLOW 08/04/20(Tue)14:36:04 No.271131869 >>271131501 (OP) # >Give woman testosterone >her rational reasoning improves >>271132166 # >>271132881 # >>271133223 # >>271134332 # >>271134775 #>>271136263 # >>271136421 # >>271136633 # >>271136659 # >>271136801 # >>271136889 # >>271136910 # >>271136975 # >>271137192 # >>271137688 # >>271137852 # >>271138819 # >>271139068 # >>271139337 # >>271139364 # >>271139495 # >>271139539 # >>271139665 # >>271139676 # >>271139733 # >>271139941 # >>271140571 # >>271141024 # >>271141631 # >>271141918 # >>271141990 # >>271142005 # >>271142025 # >>271142491 # >>271142547 # >>271142555 # >>271142674 # >>271143018 # >>271143028 # >>271143099 # >>271143230 # >>271143380 # >>271143477 # >>271143641 # >>271143978 # >>271144138 # >>271144537 # >>271144570 # >>271145019 # >>271145462 # >>271145746 # >>271145891 # >>271146484 # >>271146853 #
Anonymous (ID: H4k0m0OE) TEEN WHO TRANSITIONED AT 16 NO(...) 08/04/20(Tue)14:33:07 No.271131501 theblaze UK teen girl wanted to be male; got breasts removed, took testosterone. Now 23, she says doctors should have 'challenged' her decision - and is suing. Anonymous (ID: BAvuhMxs) 3 FOLLOW 08/04/20(Tue)14:36:04 No.271131869 >>271131501 (OP) # >Give woman testosterone >her rational reasoning improves >>271132166 # >>271132881 # >>271133223 # >>271134332 # >>271134775 #>>271136263 # >>271136421 # >>271136633 # >>271136659 # >>271136801 # >>271136889 # >>271136910 # >>271136975 # >>271137192 # >>271137688 # >>271137852 # >>271138819 # >>271139068 # >>271139337 # >>271139364 # >>271139495 # >>271139539 # >>271139665 # >>271139676 # >>271139733 # >>271139941 # >>271140571 # >>271141024 # >>271141631 # >>271141918 # >>271141990 # >>271142005 # >>271142025 # >>271142491 # >>271142547 # >>271142555 # >>271142674 # >>271143018 # >>271143028 # >>271143099 # >>271143230 # >>271143380 # >>271143477 # >>271143641 # >>271143978 # >>271144138 # >>271144537 # >>271144570 # >>271145019 # >>271145462 # >>271145746 # >>271145891 # >>271146484 # >>271146853 #

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Anon plays football | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 15 KB PNG 08/20/22(Sat) 19:42:30 No.69887849 >Be me, Division 2 football player >won our first game of the season >My teammates are in the locker room celebrating >I have suddenly to s--- >Really bad >Try to hold it in >Can't >Start to feel s--- escape my ass >Run to the bathroom >Sit down on the toilet >My ass explodes with the fury of a thousand suns >S--- everywhere >Oh god the f------ smell.pdf >Players come into the bathroom >See me covered in s--- >Laugh their asses off >Become known as "the big s------" in the locker room and at practice I should just quit right now, right?
: Anonymous 15 KB PNG 08/20/22(Sat) 19:42:30 No.69887849 >Be me, Division 2 football player >won our first game of the season >My teammates are in the locker room celebrating >I have suddenly to s--- >Really bad >Try to hold it in >Can't >Start to feel s--- escape my ass >Run to the bathroom >Sit down on the toilet >My ass explodes with the fury of a thousand suns >S--- everywhere >Oh god the f------ smell.pdf >Players come into the bathroom >See me covered in s--- >Laugh their asses off >Become known as "the big s------" in the locker room and at practice I should just quit right now, right?

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anon is not a smooth criminal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 05/31/21 (Mon)23:46:13 No.855793548 i got a criminal record for having autism >be me >whenever i hear a police siren i start running so people think im cool and gangsta >july of last year >hear police siren >do the usual >police turn the corner >see me running looking back over my shoulder >they start chasing me >now im scared because they have guns drawn and I keep going >they catch me easily because im really overweight >they search me and find my sudoku book and laugh at me long story short i got community service for resisting arrest 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 05/31/21 (Mon)23:46:13 No.855793548 i got a criminal record for having autism >be me >whenever i hear a police siren i start running so people think im cool and gangsta >july of last year >hear police siren >do the usual >police turn the corner >see me running looking back over my shoulder >they start chasing me >now im scared because they have guns drawn and I keep going >they catch me easily because im really overweight >they search me and find my sudoku book and laugh at me long story short i got community service for resisting arrest 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon sums up the cristian experience | /r/Greentext

1/3 abcVsjWc (OP) US 4h (8/28 5:25) -392861533 116 Re 31 Img JPG 81KB (760 × 536) 42 Replies * : Christianity makes the least sense of any religion >born in Europe in 500 BC? Tough luck, bro, you're going to hell >born in North America in 500 AD? Your people won't even hear about Jesus or Christianity for another 1,000 years, but guess what? Tough luck, bro, you're going to hell >born in the present day in a remote uncontacted tribe in the Amazon rainforest who've never even heard of Jesus Christ? Tough luck, bro, you're going to hell >born a literal retard with down syndrome? Tough luck, bro, you're going to hell >What's that? You lived a good life and were a good person, but you were'nt a Christian? Tough luck, bro, you're going to hell, and a guy who was a serial adulterer and mass murderer is going to heaven because he repented on his deathbed and believed in Jesus >You HAVE to believe that God is 3 entities and 1 entity at the same time and that God became a man and was murdered in a human sacrifice ritual to pay for your sins, or you're going to HELL How can anyone possibly believe this nonsense?
1/3 abcVsjWc (OP) US 4h (8/28 5:25) -392861533 116 Re 31 Img JPG 81KB (760 × 536) 42 Replies * : Christianity makes the least sense of any religion >born in Europe in 500 BC? Tough luck, bro, you're going to hell >born in North America in 500 AD? Your people won't even hear about Jesus or Christianity for another 1,000 years, but guess what? Tough luck, bro, you're going to hell >born in the present day in a remote uncontacted tribe in the Amazon rainforest who've never even heard of Jesus Christ? Tough luck, bro, you're going to hell >born a literal retard with down syndrome? Tough luck, bro, you're going to hell >What's that? You lived a good life and were a good person, but you were'nt a Christian? Tough luck, bro, you're going to hell, and a guy who was a serial adulterer and mass murderer is going to heaven because he repented on his deathbed and believed in Jesus >You HAVE to believe that God is 3 entities and 1 entity at the same time and that God became a man and was murdered in a human sacrifice ritual to pay for your sins, or you're going to HELL How can anyone possibly believe this nonsense?

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Anon is oblivious | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 66 KB PNG with her. 10/15/18(Mon)20:30:49 No.48708 >friends invite me for a drink >a qt girl is there too, a friend of theirs >say some funny/creative s--- >she says "oh anon, I'm gonna have to start writing down some of these :)" and touches my arm It felt so good even if I have no chance Post moments when girls were nice to you and made yo feel good
: Anonymous 66 KB PNG with her. 10/15/18(Mon)20:30:49 No.48708 >friends invite me for a drink >a qt girl is there too, a friend of theirs >say some funny/creative s--- >she says "oh anon, I'm gonna have to start writing down some of these :)" and touches my arm It felt so good even if I have no chance Post moments when girls were nice to you and made yo feel good

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Anon quotes crossover fanfiction | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/22(Thu)22:04:39 No.610200260 J 1648821336331.jpg 43 KB JPG >"Rick Sanchez... You killed my entire squad.... John Cena, Jill Valentine, Spider-Man.... All of them are dead...... I WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!!"
: Anonymous 08/25/22(Thu)22:04:39 No.610200260 J 1648821336331.jpg 43 KB JPG >"Rick Sanchez... You killed my entire squad.... John Cena, Jill Valentine, Spider-Man.... All of them are dead...... I WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!!"

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Anon is saved | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 295 KB JPG 08/28/22(Sun)01:12:51 No.884622155 Walmart raccoon green text story >be me >homeless looking for food in a dumpster behind walmart. >three punks sneak up on me >One with a camera two had baseball bats. >they start beating me up as the. >other guy stands around recording the whole thing. >look to my left see two raccoons jerking each other off. >say to myself i must be tripping or are those raccoons >actually jacking off one another. >hear the camera guy say h-------- look at those raccoons >their jacking each other off lets record them. >the fact that two gay raccoons saved my life from a >couple of bum bashers is based so i took them in as my own. >i have two gay raccoon pets
: Anonymous 295 KB JPG 08/28/22(Sun)01:12:51 No.884622155 Walmart raccoon green text story >be me >homeless looking for food in a dumpster behind walmart. >three punks sneak up on me >One with a camera two had baseball bats. >they start beating me up as the. >other guy stands around recording the whole thing. >look to my left see two raccoons jerking each other off. >say to myself i must be tripping or are those raccoons >actually jacking off one another. >hear the camera guy say h-------- look at those raccoons >their jacking each other off lets record them. >the fact that two gay raccoons saved my life from a >couple of bum bashers is based so i took them in as my own. >i have two gay raccoon pets

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Anon realizes something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 147 KB JPG : Anonymous Anon get a job 08/28/22(Sun)00:10:58 No.884645857 >paper towels are like regular towels, but made out of paper 08/28/22(Sun)00:12:22 No.884645919
: Anonymous 147 KB JPG : Anonymous Anon get a job 08/28/22(Sun)00:10:58 No.884645857 >paper towels are like regular towels, but made out of paper 08/28/22(Sun)00:12:22 No.884645919

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DnD is pretty fun | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Anon casts "Speak with Dead"(...) 80 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)18:45:12 No.85736093 >stuck in an underwater dungeon with no exits >come across a skeleton chained up in a jail cell >Warlock has magic item with limited use "Speak with Dead" (one question) >"How do we get out of here?" >"How the f--- would I know?" >answer checks out
: Anonymous Anon casts "Speak with Dead"(...) 80 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)18:45:12 No.85736093 >stuck in an underwater dungeon with no exits >come across a skeleton chained up in a jail cell >Warlock has magic item with limited use "Speak with Dead" (one question) >"How do we get out of here?" >"How the f--- would I know?" >answer checks out

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anon is an american | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Why are Scandis such jerks? SCANDINAVIANS IMPUDENCE 05/06/21(Thu)18:27:01 No.144440108 35 KB JPG >Be me >23 upper middle class American tourist >Walking in Stockholm (City in Sweden, the Capital IIRC) >I trip over their sidewalk >Bust my lip, the tears start flowing out >Pack of Scandi women walk to me >"Are you okay", one of them asks (10/10 blonde hair, blue eyes, and a big ass) >I stop crying for five seconds to try and score some points with her >"I might not be from Ikea, but I belong in your bedroom" >She gets angry, hits me, and calls me a fatty (I'm around 320 lbs) Why are they like this? Who hurt them?
Anonymous Why are Scandis such jerks? SCANDINAVIANS IMPUDENCE 05/06/21(Thu)18:27:01 No.144440108 35 KB JPG >Be me >23 upper middle class American tourist >Walking in Stockholm (City in Sweden, the Capital IIRC) >I trip over their sidewalk >Bust my lip, the tears start flowing out >Pack of Scandi women walk to me >"Are you okay", one of them asks (10/10 blonde hair, blue eyes, and a big ass) >I stop crying for five seconds to try and score some points with her >"I might not be from Ikea, but I belong in your bedroom" >She gets angry, hits me, and calls me a fatty (I'm around 320 lbs) Why are they like this? Who hurt them?

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The Hand Looms | /r/Greentext

dqv7qdxijg341.jpg 77 KB JPG How would history change if there was a giant disembodied hand that zooms around the planet and crushes one random person with its index finger every day? It's called The Hand and it's always slightly faster than you.
dqv7qdxijg341.jpg 77 KB JPG How would history change if there was a giant disembodied hand that zooms around the planet and crushes one random person with its index finger every day? It's called The Hand and it's always slightly faster than you.

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anon cheats | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:38:56 No.543918975 >sit down to watch my boyfriend play >its a dark souls like type game >he dies >he activates a god mode one hit kill cheat 230 KB JPG i'm dating a little bitch and i hate it
Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:38:56 No.543918975 >sit down to watch my boyfriend play >its a dark souls like type game >he dies >he activates a god mode one hit kill cheat 230 KB JPG i'm dating a little bitch and i hate it

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anon watches interrogation footage | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 23:10:53 06-30-11 08/27/22(Sat)22:50:53 No.173262895 HALD FC724C1E-E8E4-4EC6-ABF9-0FF2B8190D4F.jpg 125 KB JPG >we only got 4 controllers stayvun
Anonymous 23:10:53 06-30-11 08/27/22(Sat)22:50:53 No.173262895 HALD FC724C1E-E8E4-4EC6-ABF9-0FF2B8190D4F.jpg 125 KB JPG >we only got 4 controllers stayvun

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Anon has the CEO mindset | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/08/22(Mon)00:05:30 what did you take bro Anonymous 08/08/22(Mon)00:03:19 No.69719626 [Reply] light separates brain tissue makes conection remeber life, nobody has a soul exept you,human is a interprative, we fall from grace,the ceo invests in his lifestock for meat is in demand, what is a house but a cube made of flesh organs and bones, behind his eyes strives grief and thirst, life forever,paridise is here,golden age,the walls of the law cant contain passion and ambision,the system rapes souls of fresh infants, labor, No.69719649
Anonymous 08/08/22(Mon)00:05:30 what did you take bro Anonymous 08/08/22(Mon)00:03:19 No.69719626 [Reply] light separates brain tissue makes conection remeber life, nobody has a soul exept you,human is a interprative, we fall from grace,the ceo invests in his lifestock for meat is in demand, what is a house but a cube made of flesh organs and bones, behind his eyes strives grief and thirst, life forever,paridise is here,golden age,the walls of the law cant contain passion and ambision,the system rapes souls of fresh infants, labor, No.69719649

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