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Anon remembers the 1st black President | /r/Greentext

File: first black president.jpg (11 KB, 480x360) Anonymous (ID: towldatY) 02/06/18(Tue)23:25:28 No.159548327 Reply] >played jazz sax >could reliably hoop a free throw >ordered fried chicken on every Airforce One flight >almost lost his job over some phat white ass Was Bill Clinton the first black president?
File: first black president.jpg (11 KB, 480x360) Anonymous (ID: towldatY) 02/06/18(Tue)23:25:28 No.159548327 Reply] >played jazz sax >could reliably hoop a free throw >ordered fried chicken on every Airforce One flight >almost lost his job over some phat white ass Was Bill Clinton the first black president?

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Anon got a true Soldier Brain | /r/Greentext

D I just feel a tactical pogo stick could be extremely efficient in a millitary raid, just picture it. >be marine 1 #38381703 >silently and rapidly approach target's location >10 foot fence >speed up >slam my weight down >15 feet high >front flip for extra aerodynamic points >also looks cooler >target guards hear nothing as i pounce over the flood lights >land on roof >go down chimney on pogo stick >target hears nothing so doeant look up >gag and tie target to back >pogo back up chimney >leave
D I just feel a tactical pogo stick could be extremely efficient in a millitary raid, just picture it. >be marine 1 #38381703 >silently and rapidly approach target's location >10 foot fence >speed up >slam my weight down >15 feet high >front flip for extra aerodynamic points >also looks cooler >target guards hear nothing as i pounce over the flood lights >land on roof >go down chimney on pogo stick >target hears nothing so doeant look up >gag and tie target to back >pogo back up chimney >leave

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Anon is honest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 112 KB JPG 05/09/22(Mon)16:19:23 >Friend asks "Would you choose a year without gaming or a year without sex" >mfw does it look like I have sex No.877820035
: Anonymous 112 KB JPG 05/09/22(Mon)16:19:23 >Friend asks "Would you choose a year without gaming or a year without sex" >mfw does it look like I have sex No.877820035

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Geography with Anon | /r/Greentext

File: flatten.jpg (104 KB, 1200x630) Estately Anonymous 09/06/22(Tue)09:18:08 No.13910027 ► >>13910056 Old world cities be like: >Bumsfruck (proto-slavo-indo-uralic for "river") >Chingling (mandarin, means northeastern capital) New world cities be like: >El Ascencio Gloriosa del Jesu Christo >New Bumsfruck >Chingling (IL)
File: flatten.jpg (104 KB, 1200x630) Estately Anonymous 09/06/22(Tue)09:18:08 No.13910027 ► >>13910056 Old world cities be like: >Bumsfruck (proto-slavo-indo-uralic for "river") >Chingling (mandarin, means northeastern capital) New world cities be like: >El Ascencio Gloriosa del Jesu Christo >New Bumsfruck >Chingling (IL)

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Anon is a good brother | /r/Greentext

File: 21980C76-21CE-4568-BB97-0(...).jpg (202 KB, 413x591) cole? Morelike coal O Anonymous 09/06/22(Tue)20:26:23 No.70116261 >My sister wont let me, her big autistic brother interact with her normie zoomer boyfriend named Cole so I put this in his truck when him and her were taking a walk
File: 21980C76-21CE-4568-BB97-0(...).jpg (202 KB, 413x591) cole? Morelike coal O Anonymous 09/06/22(Tue)20:26:23 No.70116261 >My sister wont let me, her big autistic brother interact with her normie zoomer boyfriend named Cole so I put this in his truck when him and her were taking a walk

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Anon is starting to understand Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion | /r/Greentext

prime video 1661467347622050.jpg 171 KB JPG THE LORD OF THE KINGS RINGS & POWER >OH LAAAAAAAWD DEM RANGZ, I FINNA GETZ ME SUM RANGZ NIGGUH They might as well have had Leslie Jones in this ffs 08/26/22(Fri)00:54:42 No.173161992 Anonymous >>173161946 (OP) # >Tfw LOTR had some kind a black genocide between this and the films >>173163175 # >>173163359 # >>173171452 # 08/26/22(Fri)00:55:52 No.173162039 : Anonymous >>173161946 (OP) # I don't understand. Why are there black dwarves? Don't they live deep underground? What do they need melanin for?
prime video 1661467347622050.jpg 171 KB JPG THE LORD OF THE KINGS RINGS & POWER >OH LAAAAAAAWD DEM RANGZ, I FINNA GETZ ME SUM RANGZ NIGGUH They might as well have had Leslie Jones in this ffs 08/26/22(Fri)00:54:42 No.173161992 Anonymous >>173161946 (OP) # >Tfw LOTR had some kind a black genocide between this and the films >>173163175 # >>173163359 # >>173171452 # 08/26/22(Fri)00:55:52 No.173162039 : Anonymous >>173161946 (OP) # I don't understand. Why are there black dwarves? Don't they live deep underground? What do they need melanin for?

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Anon hates his mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 3.43 MB GIF 4 Replies >ffw 5 minutes >see her crying why are women so retarded? i wasnt even screaming at her god im gonna finally move out in about a month >>70110308 # : Anonymous Anonymous >>70110270 (OP) # I wish I had a mother who cared enough to ask me stupid questions >>70110340 # 09/06/22 (Tue)11:26:01 No.70110270 >mom is wasting my time by asking stupid questions >just her existance pisses me off for no reason >tell her nicely to never talk to me again except for maybe saying hello and goodbye emmers : Anonymous View Thread 09/06/22 (Tue)11:27:17 No.70110281 >>70110281 # i wish mine would care less i just want to be alone and do drugs 09/06/22 (Tue)11:30:07 No.70110308 09/06/22(Tue)11:30:50 No.70110317 Just answer her f------ questions. She's taken care of you your whole life and you can't take 1 minute out of your day to answer a gay ass question? I'd be crying too if my son was a whiney f-----. Go rope. >>70110308 # Bet you're 19 or something 09/06/22(Tue)11:33:25 No.70110340
: Anonymous 3.43 MB GIF 4 Replies >ffw 5 minutes >see her crying why are women so retarded? i wasnt even screaming at her god im gonna finally move out in about a month >>70110308 # : Anonymous Anonymous >>70110270 (OP) # I wish I had a mother who cared enough to ask me stupid questions >>70110340 # 09/06/22 (Tue)11:26:01 No.70110270 >mom is wasting my time by asking stupid questions >just her existance pisses me off for no reason >tell her nicely to never talk to me again except for maybe saying hello and goodbye emmers : Anonymous View Thread 09/06/22 (Tue)11:27:17 No.70110281 >>70110281 # i wish mine would care less i just want to be alone and do drugs 09/06/22 (Tue)11:30:07 No.70110308 09/06/22(Tue)11:30:50 No.70110317 Just answer her f------ questions. She's taken care of you your whole life and you can't take 1 minute out of your day to answer a gay ass question? I'd be crying too if my son was a whiney f-----. Go rope. >>70110308 # Bet you're 19 or something 09/06/22(Tue)11:33:25 No.70110340

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Anon loves Pixar | /r/Greentext

02/17/22(Thu)14:19:56 No.872864442 When I was 9, my neighbor had a birthday party in her backyard complete with hired clown and tons of helium balloons. I gathered about 15 balloons and tied the strings together to make one rope. Then I tied that to the collar of her kitten and, with her and her parents screaming NO! and rushing towards me, I set it aloft. The balloons carried the cat straight up in the air and soon was just a dot in the sky. The father actually assaulted me; he punched me in the head and threw me on the floor. His wife had to hold him back. The girl was screaming and crying hysterically and I ran home. My own parents wanted to kill me and until the day they moved they never spoke to me or my family again. The cat was never recovered. I feel a great deal of shame for that one impulsive act that forever changed me and my parents. I'm sorry. : Anonymous 81 KB JPG 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
02/17/22(Thu)14:19:56 No.872864442 When I was 9, my neighbor had a birthday party in her backyard complete with hired clown and tons of helium balloons. I gathered about 15 balloons and tied the strings together to make one rope. Then I tied that to the collar of her kitten and, with her and her parents screaming NO! and rushing towards me, I set it aloft. The balloons carried the cat straight up in the air and soon was just a dot in the sky. The father actually assaulted me; he punched me in the head and threw me on the floor. His wife had to hold him back. The girl was screaming and crying hysterically and I ran home. My own parents wanted to kill me and until the day they moved they never spoke to me or my family again. The cat was never recovered. I feel a great deal of shame for that one impulsive act that forever changed me and my parents. I'm sorry. : Anonymous 81 KB JPG 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon finds a hobby | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 359 KB JPG asphyxiation 09/06/22(Tue)10:22:11 No.885174810 >Be me, Anon >Chad says I'm too ugly to get laid in a w---- house >Max out my credit card, fly to Brazil >Go to w---- house >W----- say I'm too ugly to f--- >And that's how I got into autoerotic Do it wrong and there's no post nut clarity
Anonymous 359 KB JPG asphyxiation 09/06/22(Tue)10:22:11 No.885174810 >Be me, Anon >Chad says I'm too ugly to get laid in a w---- house >Max out my credit card, fly to Brazil >Go to w---- house >W----- say I'm too ugly to f--- >And that's how I got into autoerotic Do it wrong and there's no post nut clarity

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Anon is the messiah | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/07/21 (Tue)10:56:13 No.18999721 >in "Physics" class >Idiot professor starts talking about vacuum and other atomist lies >I explain that vacuum cannot exist and that the observed phenomena of voids is just the movement of differently heated airs. >Somebody loudly drinks iced coffee through a straw >Whole class starts to laugh at me >I remind them that in the beginning there was nothing and that to imply a void now would be to deny the glorious creations of god >Whole class is quiet >professor weeps and prostrates himself before me 900 KB PNG
: Anonymous 09/07/21 (Tue)10:56:13 No.18999721 >in "Physics" class >Idiot professor starts talking about vacuum and other atomist lies >I explain that vacuum cannot exist and that the observed phenomena of voids is just the movement of differently heated airs. >Somebody loudly drinks iced coffee through a straw >Whole class starts to laugh at me >I remind them that in the beginning there was nothing and that to imply a void now would be to deny the glorious creations of god >Whole class is quiet >professor weeps and prostrates himself before me 900 KB PNG

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anon is a britbonger | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /britfeel/ 09/05/22(Mon) 20:40:25 No.70102323 external-content.duckduckgo.com.jpg 781 KB JPG Crisp sandwich edition 275 Replies / 47 Images View Thread
: Anonymous /britfeel/ 09/05/22(Mon) 20:40:25 No.70102323 external-content.duckduckgo.com.jpg 781 KB JPG Crisp sandwich edition 275 Replies / 47 Images View Thread

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Anon procrastinates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/22(Tue)21:22:53 No.170458426 >work I hadn't started was due on Thursday >panic >find out today it got pushed to next Tuesday >do nothing all day in celebration Why am I this retarded lads? Why do I insist on making my life harder than it needs to be?
: Anonymous 09/06/22(Tue)21:22:53 No.170458426 >work I hadn't started was due on Thursday >panic >find out today it got pushed to next Tuesday >do nothing all day in celebration Why am I this retarded lads? Why do I insist on making my life harder than it needs to be?

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Anon has an imaginary friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 283 KB PNG 04/20/18(Fri)14:39:13 No.44822902 01 8 Replies / 1 Image >out with my friend >sitting on a bench >be talking >people throwing us weird glances >think it's because of the obscene topics >dont care >keep talking >suddenly one old dude comes up to me >"Excuse me, Sir, but who are you talking to" I wish I was kidding. I've already made an appointment with a psychiatrist. View Thread
Anonymous 283 KB PNG 04/20/18(Fri)14:39:13 No.44822902 01 8 Replies / 1 Image >out with my friend >sitting on a bench >be talking >people throwing us weird glances >think it's because of the obscene topics >dont care >keep talking >suddenly one old dude comes up to me >"Excuse me, Sir, but who are you talking to" I wish I was kidding. I've already made an appointment with a psychiatrist. View Thread

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Anon wants advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous S 41 KB JPG with advice? 05/04/22 (Wed)02:14:49 No.68481520 >be me, 19 >gets called cute, funny, smart >both my roommates are women >they wonder why I never had a gf >never felt ready the idea of a relationship seems kinda daunting desu. anyone here 05/04/22 (Wed)02:16:54 No.68481538 Anonymous >>68481520 (OP) # idk man but i pooped myself a little today and i think you should know about it
: Anonymous S 41 KB JPG with advice? 05/04/22 (Wed)02:14:49 No.68481520 >be me, 19 >gets called cute, funny, smart >both my roommates are women >they wonder why I never had a gf >never felt ready the idea of a relationship seems kinda daunting desu. anyone here 05/04/22 (Wed)02:16:54 No.68481538 Anonymous >>68481520 (OP) # idk man but i pooped myself a little today and i think you should know about it

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anon helps a girl in a wheel chair | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yul.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what i'll be doing idgt >meet girl >10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching tv. >feels bad man >don't think much other of it though >go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DoE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel.png > 10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife
Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yul.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what i'll be doing idgt >meet girl >10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching tv. >feels bad man >don't think much other of it though >go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DoE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel.png > 10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife

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Anon orders pizza | /r/Greentext

>> >> >look like pic related >order pizza Mommy body Anonymous (ID: aeCqERli) 2 09/06/22(Tue)18:29:14 No. 16083051 >>16083060 >>16083063 Anonymous (ID: OUGrnhxm >>16083051 (OP) # post t--- or GTFO >>16083070 Anonymous (ID: UWVkrKOC >>16083051 (OP) # t-- pics or didnt happen >be me >femanon >really f------ tall >6'5" >pizza guy is 5'9" >looks up at me like he's seen the face of god >f--- yeah >take my pizza and wink at him as I close the door >skinny as all hell >I look like I could hide behind a lamppost >decide to get fit cus no guy would ever stick his d--- in a piece of paper like me >get buff as f--- over the course of the next two years >have one of those little peepholes on my door, look through it to see him just standing there in disbelief before slowly walking away while looking at my door. >feels great being a goddess 09/06/22(Tue)18:31:42 No.16083060 09/06/22(Tue)18:32:38 No. 16083063 Anonymous (ID: Qfze+10x) 09/06/22(Tue) 18:33:14 No. 16083066 t--- now or I'll call the police Anonymous (ID: AQOEYIQY) 09/06/22(Tue) 18:33:44 No. 16083070 >>16083051 (OP) # Post pizza (if you didn't already eat it)
>> >> >look like pic related >order pizza Mommy body Anonymous (ID: aeCqERli) 2 09/06/22(Tue)18:29:14 No. 16083051 >>16083060 >>16083063 Anonymous (ID: OUGrnhxm >>16083051 (OP) # post t--- or GTFO >>16083070 Anonymous (ID: UWVkrKOC >>16083051 (OP) # t-- pics or didnt happen >be me >femanon >really f------ tall >6'5" >pizza guy is 5'9" >looks up at me like he's seen the face of god >f--- yeah >take my pizza and wink at him as I close the door >skinny as all hell >I look like I could hide behind a lamppost >decide to get fit cus no guy would ever stick his d--- in a piece of paper like me >get buff as f--- over the course of the next two years >have one of those little peepholes on my door, look through it to see him just standing there in disbelief before slowly walking away while looking at my door. >feels great being a goddess 09/06/22(Tue)18:31:42 No.16083060 09/06/22(Tue)18:32:38 No. 16083063 Anonymous (ID: Qfze+10x) 09/06/22(Tue) 18:33:14 No. 16083066 t--- now or I'll call the police Anonymous (ID: AQOEYIQY) 09/06/22(Tue) 18:33:44 No. 16083070 >>16083051 (OP) # Post pizza (if you didn't already eat it)

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