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anon tried to connect to his students | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/08/22(Tue)22:28:22 No.872311261 >>872311460 >>872311654 >be me >around 17 >suck at every subject in school except english >be a tutor for younger students >talk to them about things we like >Dark Souls, Zelda, One Piece, etc. >one guy says he doesn't like anime >he tried one piece once but found it extremely iritating >fair >I tell him to give Attack on Titan a try >two weeks later he tells me he binged it >starts really getting into anime >we talk about fma, berserk, jojo, etc. >stop tutoring once I graduate to focus on college and s--- >ffw 3 years >scroll through instagram bc bored >find account of the dude >cringe anime motivation pics, edgy weeb quotes, photoshopped selfies with him and Rem from RE:zero >calls her "waifu" >pictures of Rem merch >bodypillows, figurines, posters >mfw i started this death spiral when I recommended AoT to him >mfw I turned a perfectly normal kid into a cringe weeb maybe it's good thing I didn't become a teacher.
O Anonymous 02/08/22(Tue)22:28:22 No.872311261 >>872311460 >>872311654 >be me >around 17 >suck at every subject in school except english >be a tutor for younger students >talk to them about things we like >Dark Souls, Zelda, One Piece, etc. >one guy says he doesn't like anime >he tried one piece once but found it extremely iritating >fair >I tell him to give Attack on Titan a try >two weeks later he tells me he binged it >starts really getting into anime >we talk about fma, berserk, jojo, etc. >stop tutoring once I graduate to focus on college and s--- >ffw 3 years >scroll through instagram bc bored >find account of the dude >cringe anime motivation pics, edgy weeb quotes, photoshopped selfies with him and Rem from RE:zero >calls her "waifu" >pictures of Rem merch >bodypillows, figurines, posters >mfw i started this death spiral when I recommended AoT to him >mfw I turned a perfectly normal kid into a cringe weeb maybe it's good thing I didn't become a teacher.

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Anon gets a reward for working out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/02/18(Fri)15:29:18 No.783890867 >be me >overweight >want to hit the gym to end this curse >start working out >eating veggies and fruits for the 36 KB JPG first time in forever >body is satisfied >shave off neckbeard >getting more toned >muscles become more obvious >fuckyeah.wav >after 8 weeks, I am now a Chad >go to KFC for reward >acquire K1 combo >about to leave when I hear a wolf whistle >metalgearsolidexclamation.mp3 >see neckbeard staring at my ass >niggawut.wav >get home, run to my washroom >my f------ mother passed her round booty genes to my DNA Now I have to live with a bouncy butt that is worthy for others to grind on. Curse you, Mom.
: Anonymous 11/02/18(Fri)15:29:18 No.783890867 >be me >overweight >want to hit the gym to end this curse >start working out >eating veggies and fruits for the 36 KB JPG first time in forever >body is satisfied >shave off neckbeard >getting more toned >muscles become more obvious >fuckyeah.wav >after 8 weeks, I am now a Chad >go to KFC for reward >acquire K1 combo >about to leave when I hear a wolf whistle >metalgearsolidexclamation.mp3 >see neckbeard staring at my ass >niggawut.wav >get home, run to my washroom >my f------ mother passed her round booty genes to my DNA Now I have to live with a bouncy butt that is worthy for others to grind on. Curse you, Mom.

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Anon causes 9/11 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/21(Sun)16:02:57 No.862950381 >Be me >9 years old >Going to cub scouts >Scout leader says "Today we're gonna learn how to fold the American flag" >Stresses that “Letting the flag 229 KB JPG touch the ground is a bad omen and we'll have to burn it" >Am handed the flag >slips out of my hand, and falls flat on the floor. >Scout leader assures me it's okay and we can try with another flag >We burn the flag I dropped at the end of the meeting >The next day I'm in school and the teacher is told to turn the tv on to the news. >We watch as the second plane hits the World Trade Center >I think back to my scout leader saying "Letting the flag touch the ground is a bad omen". And that's the story of how for the next 6 months I thought I caused 9/11
: Anonymous 09/12/21(Sun)16:02:57 No.862950381 >Be me >9 years old >Going to cub scouts >Scout leader says "Today we're gonna learn how to fold the American flag" >Stresses that “Letting the flag 229 KB JPG touch the ground is a bad omen and we'll have to burn it" >Am handed the flag >slips out of my hand, and falls flat on the floor. >Scout leader assures me it's okay and we can try with another flag >We burn the flag I dropped at the end of the meeting >The next day I'm in school and the teacher is told to turn the tv on to the news. >We watch as the second plane hits the World Trade Center >I think back to my scout leader saying "Letting the flag touch the ground is a bad omen". And that's the story of how for the next 6 months I thought I caused 9/11

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anon gets facked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: y2WkrRZf) 05/14/13(Tue)15:06:56 No.480078695 >be working on a cold morndas morning >town is all on edge about some "return of the dovahkiin" b------- 49 KB JPG >see a guy i've never seen 'round Whiterun before >decide to be friendly and introduce myself >"I work for belethor at the general goods store" >says nothing >crouches and rummages through my pockets >goes into store >puts bucket on Belethor's head >steals everything >drops 36 cheese wheels from his bag to make room >runs outside and teleports away >mfw
Anonymous (ID: y2WkrRZf) 05/14/13(Tue)15:06:56 No.480078695 >be working on a cold morndas morning >town is all on edge about some "return of the dovahkiin" b------- 49 KB JPG >see a guy i've never seen 'round Whiterun before >decide to be friendly and introduce myself >"I work for belethor at the general goods store" >says nothing >crouches and rummages through my pockets >goes into store >puts bucket on Belethor's head >steals everything >drops 36 cheese wheels from his bag to make room >runs outside and teleports away >mfw

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Anon thinks of a solution | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Z/6fH2x/ 02/19/18(Mon)07:42:29 No.161082716 Alex went to school and got shot dead . How are you Americans going to stop this weird problem ? 26 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: WTO 2XN5 02/19/18(Mon)07:45:05 No.161082898 >>161082716 (OP) # >How are you Americans going to stop this weird problem ? I'm pretty confident Alex won't be shot dead again, so I think we have this one covered. >>161083006 # >>161086083 # >>161086843 # >>161086991 #
: Anonymous (ID: Z/6fH2x/ 02/19/18(Mon)07:42:29 No.161082716 Alex went to school and got shot dead . How are you Americans going to stop this weird problem ? 26 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: WTO 2XN5 02/19/18(Mon)07:45:05 No.161082898 >>161082716 (OP) # >How are you Americans going to stop this weird problem ? I'm pretty confident Alex won't be shot dead again, so I think we have this one covered. >>161083006 # >>161086083 # >>161086843 # >>161086991 #

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C ya defribillater | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)06:26:48 No.65375180 >28 >never even bothered to ask a girl out before >decide ill try it out >theres a girl ive been crushing on for months 53 KB JPG >get rejected >the feeling of overwhelmingly brutal depression comes over me >first time ive felt anything in years Honestly it was worth it
: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)06:26:48 No.65375180 >28 >never even bothered to ask a girl out before >decide ill try it out >theres a girl ive been crushing on for months 53 KB JPG >get rejected >the feeling of overwhelmingly brutal depression comes over me >first time ive felt anything in years Honestly it was worth it

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Anon has sex | /r/Greentext

6:54 AM /b/784855737/ 11m 784855737 1 Reply 0 Image PNG 105KB (700 x 700) 1 Reply >be me >High school senior at really good school >Classes with awesome teachers >Have 11/10 goddess for a English >Ask her to f--- >Apparently she agrees >That same night, we do a--- and lots oral >C-- a lot, especially on her glorious tiddies >Then she confessed to me that she's transgender >Mfw I smashed a trans f----- Me and my homophobic self
6:54 AM /b/784855737/ 11m 784855737 1 Reply 0 Image PNG 105KB (700 x 700) 1 Reply >be me >High school senior at really good school >Classes with awesome teachers >Have 11/10 goddess for a English >Ask her to f--- >Apparently she agrees >That same night, we do a--- and lots oral >C-- a lot, especially on her glorious tiddies >Then she confessed to me that she's transgender >Mfw I smashed a trans f----- Me and my homophobic self

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Anon's kid will be in good hands. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/25/18(Thu)23:23:28 No.783245546 >be me, dad >son diagnosed with autism look after him when he joins you guys
Anonymous 10/25/18(Thu)23:23:28 No.783245546 >be me, dad >son diagnosed with autism look after him when he joins you guys

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anon buys a rap whistle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)13:48:41 No. 437054892 File: 1534184356224.jpg (46 KB, 225x216) >>437055002 >>437067086 >>437053446 >rap whistle >Have both a rap whistle and a r--- whistle. >go out >Oh no rapists! >Blow the whistle >0ops it was the rap whistle >bunch of black guys come in to drop some ? sick beats >mfw I'm getting r---- while 50 cents rhymes in the background.
Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)13:48:41 No. 437054892 File: 1534184356224.jpg (46 KB, 225x216) >>437055002 >>437067086 >>437053446 >rap whistle >Have both a rap whistle and a r--- whistle. >go out >Oh no rapists! >Blow the whistle >0ops it was the rap whistle >bunch of black guys come in to drop some ? sick beats >mfw I'm getting r---- while 50 cents rhymes in the background.

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Anon is left handed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/22(Tue)08:46:28 No.67338638 >one chance at life >left handed 290 KB PNG 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/08/22(Tue)08:47:29 No.67338644 AHH HA HA HA HA HA HA! >>67338638 (OP)_# Here are those scissors you asked for Anon. Oh wait! You can't use them! 592 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/08/22(Tue)08:46:28 No.67338638 >one chance at life >left handed 290 KB PNG 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/08/22(Tue)08:47:29 No.67338644 AHH HA HA HA HA HA HA! >>67338638 (OP)_# Here are those scissors you asked for Anon. Oh wait! You can't use them! 592 KB PNG

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Anon has a big pp | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 15 minutes ago 49332435 Compton >be me >have small pp >feel sad >post on 4chan >get called a reddit n----- >n------ have big pp >feel happy >thank you guys 1 REPLY Anonymous 13 minutes ago 49332465 : >>49332435 (OP) unexpectedly kekked
Anonymous 15 minutes ago 49332435 Compton >be me >have small pp >feel sad >post on 4chan >get called a reddit n----- >n------ have big pp >feel happy >thank you guys 1 REPLY Anonymous 13 minutes ago 49332465 : >>49332435 (OP) unexpectedly kekked

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Anon is a pedo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/22(Tue)03:33:58 No.67335797 >be me >coomer >have coomer friend and we share p--- with each other and s--- >friend finds the holy grail >a discord where coomers share local girl's nudes >it's a small town so there are girls I 43 KB JPG know there >the only rules is if you find someone you know you can't get angry and you have to share anything you have >find some good s---, a cousin of mine was there which made me coom like crazy eventually >MY.F------.CRUSH >have conflicted feelings, be hurt because turns out she's a w---- and also everyone else is watching but also want to coom >download them anyways >idea.jpg >nobody else knows about this server so plan to blackmail my crush into sending me more nudes or l'll release the ones I have >lf she abides and is a good girl I may even get sex or at least a date >send her the pics and tell her if there aren't any more pics l'll make them public >she sees it >hear is pounding >anxiety runs through my whole body >can hear my swallowing >she replies that those pictures were taken when she was underage and she's going to report me for possession and distribution of cp and then blocks me ANONS IM IN BIG F------ TROUBLE IF THIS BITCH IS FOR REAL 45 Replies / 9 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 02/08/22(Tue)03:33:58 No.67335797 >be me >coomer >have coomer friend and we share p--- with each other and s--- >friend finds the holy grail >a discord where coomers share local girl's nudes >it's a small town so there are girls I 43 KB JPG know there >the only rules is if you find someone you know you can't get angry and you have to share anything you have >find some good s---, a cousin of mine was there which made me coom like crazy eventually >MY.F------.CRUSH >have conflicted feelings, be hurt because turns out she's a w---- and also everyone else is watching but also want to coom >download them anyways >idea.jpg >nobody else knows about this server so plan to blackmail my crush into sending me more nudes or l'll release the ones I have >lf she abides and is a good girl I may even get sex or at least a date >send her the pics and tell her if there aren't any more pics l'll make them public >she sees it >hear is pounding >anxiety runs through my whole body >can hear my swallowing >she replies that those pictures were taken when she was underage and she's going to report me for possession and distribution of cp and then blocks me ANONS IM IN BIG F------ TROUBLE IF THIS BITCH IS FOR REAL 45 Replies / 9 Images View Thread

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Why I quit drinking | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: zdzsMpy4 ) = Redpilled my neighbors 10/11/16(Tue)09:22:59 No.92459148 >take a few shots of 60% alcohol >take 2 mg xanax >blackout >wake up the following morning wth a massive hangover >go outside >somebody has dug a two feet deep pit in the front yard of our apartment 14 KB JPG complex >find out that was me >apparently it was a bomb shelter for the upcoming nuclear war >find out from neighbors I was muttering about the jews, return of nazis and the blatant corruption in american politics to passerbys while shoveling the dirt angrily >police came, laughed and carried me inside >too embarrased to leave my house neveragain.jpg
Anonymous (ID: zdzsMpy4 ) = Redpilled my neighbors 10/11/16(Tue)09:22:59 No.92459148 >take a few shots of 60% alcohol >take 2 mg xanax >blackout >wake up the following morning wth a massive hangover >go outside >somebody has dug a two feet deep pit in the front yard of our apartment 14 KB JPG complex >find out that was me >apparently it was a bomb shelter for the upcoming nuclear war >find out from neighbors I was muttering about the jews, return of nazis and the blatant corruption in american politics to passerbys while shoveling the dirt angrily >police came, laughed and carried me inside >too embarrased to leave my house neveragain.jpg

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Autism kicks in | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:29:30 No.530995260 ITT: Autistic Mistakes > Be 15 > Go to farm on after- school group's field trip > Want to be funny > Go to farmer 19 KB JPG "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MEW I realize he grew vegatables > MFW I'm probably retarded Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:38:06 No.530996935 this thread is a good thread
Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:29:30 No.530995260 ITT: Autistic Mistakes > Be 15 > Go to farm on after- school group's field trip > Want to be funny > Go to farmer 19 KB JPG "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MEW I realize he grew vegatables > MFW I'm probably retarded Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:38:06 No.530996935 this thread is a good thread

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anon gets free food like a fucking pimp | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/07/22(Mon)19:10:51 No.872256880 >>872257971 >be me when I was in high school >go to mall with buddies >one of us pretends to be retard >walks funny, does the voice, the works >head to taco bell at food court >turn to retard and treat like s--- >"the f--- you gettin anon" >"s-s-stop rush-in m-me guys" >taco bell clerk looks as though he feels bad for retard >"can I help you sir?" >"WH-WHATI? "n-no I was j-just b-b-born this w-way" >everyone in line is looking >his face drops >"oh my god, I am so sorry, sir, I didn't mean that. let me take care of your meal today" >"i-thank you, b-but it is alright" >"no. please, sir. I insist >"o-okay" >food handed to us on tray >all start to walk away >retard is struggling to keep up >"hurry up f-----!" >people are glaring >"i-i'm trying g-guys." >one of us walks back as he is struggling to walk >hits the trays from under >retard tries to take a step but slips >crashes into a promo sign in front of chinese place >huge noise, everyone is looking >f-f-f--- you g-guys >ditch around the corner >meetup afterwards, >laugh our asses off
O Anonymous 02/07/22(Mon)19:10:51 No.872256880 >>872257971 >be me when I was in high school >go to mall with buddies >one of us pretends to be retard >walks funny, does the voice, the works >head to taco bell at food court >turn to retard and treat like s--- >"the f--- you gettin anon" >"s-s-stop rush-in m-me guys" >taco bell clerk looks as though he feels bad for retard >"can I help you sir?" >"WH-WHATI? "n-no I was j-just b-b-born this w-way" >everyone in line is looking >his face drops >"oh my god, I am so sorry, sir, I didn't mean that. let me take care of your meal today" >"i-thank you, b-but it is alright" >"no. please, sir. I insist >"o-okay" >food handed to us on tray >all start to walk away >retard is struggling to keep up >"hurry up f-----!" >people are glaring >"i-i'm trying g-guys." >one of us walks back as he is struggling to walk >hits the trays from under >retard tries to take a step but slips >crashes into a promo sign in front of chinese place >huge noise, everyone is looking >f-f-f--- you g-guys >ditch around the corner >meetup afterwards, >laugh our asses off

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Anon needs an explanation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)21:02:15 N download.jpg 7 KB JPG >look in bathroom mirror >8/10 handsome Chad aesthetics >take photo of self >5/10 weak basedboy betamale explain 8 Replies / 3 Images Vie
: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)21:02:15 N download.jpg 7 KB JPG >look in bathroom mirror >8/10 handsome Chad aesthetics >take photo of self >5/10 weak basedboy betamale explain 8 Replies / 3 Images Vie

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 784605525 51 min. ago >Be me >Sophomore >Mid semester break for 10 days >Pack and travel 1300 kms to my home >Forgot my mobile charger in hostel >No one has c type charger in my home >Says f--- it, will live without phone for 10 days and improve my social skills >Spends all the time on laptop >Thinks all the time people will be worried about me and would be calling me >Come back to hostel >Charge my phone >Notifications and messages start popping 1300 messages in whatsapp >Mfw all messages are from groups and no personal messages Feels bad man
Anonymous | 784605525 51 min. ago >Be me >Sophomore >Mid semester break for 10 days >Pack and travel 1300 kms to my home >Forgot my mobile charger in hostel >No one has c type charger in my home >Says f--- it, will live without phone for 10 days and improve my social skills >Spends all the time on laptop >Thinks all the time people will be worried about me and would be calling me >Come back to hostel >Charge my phone >Notifications and messages start popping 1300 messages in whatsapp >Mfw all messages are from groups and no personal messages Feels bad man

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Anon isn't gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/17/18(Wed)02:54:17 No.782533907 >be me >Only watch lesbian p--- or solo p---, because seeing d---- is gay af >J------- twice a day to only female p--- for 5 years >be 17 20 KB JPG >at girls house >Wants to f--- >Starts f------ >The whole time im thinking "this hella gay" because a d--- is involved >Dont c-- after 3 hours of sex (Small breaks a few times) >She says she came like 4 times >No chance of pregnancy because no c-- Has this happened to anyone else?
: Anonymous 10/17/18(Wed)02:54:17 No.782533907 >be me >Only watch lesbian p--- or solo p---, because seeing d---- is gay af >J------- twice a day to only female p--- for 5 years >be 17 20 KB JPG >at girls house >Wants to f--- >Starts f------ >The whole time im thinking "this hella gay" because a d--- is involved >Dont c-- after 3 hours of sex (Small breaks a few times) >She says she came like 4 times >No chance of pregnancy because no c-- Has this happened to anyone else?

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Anon tries to be a business man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/14/18(Tue)18:25:22 No.777182678 Younger me is f------ up my present life. >college student >Comes home for summer Grfap >Cleans old high school room so it SEAL OF APPRO doesn't look like s----- highschool 51 KB JPG room >finds old flash drive from when I was in middle school >Plugs it in >Finds s--- ton of pictures of a little boy naked and posing >W-- >Realizes the kid in pictures are younger me >Finds word document >"Hello anon, glad to see you again. Take these pictures and sell them online to make bank. It's not illegal because it's if you and you are now of conserving age. Please buy Xbox." >Destroy flash drive >Cringe so f------ hard
: Anonymous 08/14/18(Tue)18:25:22 No.777182678 Younger me is f------ up my present life. >college student >Comes home for summer Grfap >Cleans old high school room so it SEAL OF APPRO doesn't look like s----- highschool 51 KB JPG room >finds old flash drive from when I was in middle school >Plugs it in >Finds s--- ton of pictures of a little boy naked and posing >W-- >Realizes the kid in pictures are younger me >Finds word document >"Hello anon, glad to see you again. Take these pictures and sell them online to make bank. It's not illegal because it's if you and you are now of conserving age. Please buy Xbox." >Destroy flash drive >Cringe so f------ hard

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anon thinks of past times | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/20(Mon)19:16:41 No.57552428 @FPHate 260 1600729145133.png 557 KB PNG >this was considered comically obese in 1990
: Anonymous 09/21/20(Mon)19:16:41 No.57552428 @FPHate 260 1600729145133.png 557 KB PNG >this was considered comically obese in 1990

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