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Anon gets caught in the act | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)00:59:28 No.65754433 >be me >24 year old kisses, hugless and virgin coomer >younger brother is in high school and a chad >he's dating a cutie from his class that sometimes brings home 51 KB JPG >be jelly >sometimes sit with them while they're watching a movie to feel like I have a gf >know they're probably uncomfortable but also know the won't say s--- to be polite so don't give a s--- Imao >cry myself to sleep every night wondering how life would be like if I could have a cutie gf to introduce to my parents and invite over to watch movies >room is next to brother's so we share a wall >both our beds are against that same wall so some nights I can somewhat hear that she's having phone with his cutie gf >be extra jelly >idea.jpg >steal one of his airpods when he's not looking >loser keeps asking if I've seen it but he doesn't know the truth >be tonight >he's having phone sex again >grab the airpod and be quiet cause remember airpods have microphones >can only hear his gf talking >feels like heaven >pretend she's talking to me and quietly masturbate >Coom.wav >they move to a normal conversation and she says "have a good night, I love you so much" >be so immersed that I reply "I love you too" >hear gf asking who the f--- said that >hear brother saying "anon?" through the wall >fuckfuckfuckfuck,exe >realize the royal f--- up and throw the airpod to the other side of the room >turn lights off and quietly reach my door to lock it then jump back in bed >hear brother knocking on my door but pretend to be asleep >"| know you're awake but we'll talk tomorrow" anons Im scared as all heckers im f------ s------- myself right now hwat the f--- do i do now
: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)00:59:28 No.65754433 >be me >24 year old kisses, hugless and virgin coomer >younger brother is in high school and a chad >he's dating a cutie from his class that sometimes brings home 51 KB JPG >be jelly >sometimes sit with them while they're watching a movie to feel like I have a gf >know they're probably uncomfortable but also know the won't say s--- to be polite so don't give a s--- Imao >cry myself to sleep every night wondering how life would be like if I could have a cutie gf to introduce to my parents and invite over to watch movies >room is next to brother's so we share a wall >both our beds are against that same wall so some nights I can somewhat hear that she's having phone with his cutie gf >be extra jelly >idea.jpg >steal one of his airpods when he's not looking >loser keeps asking if I've seen it but he doesn't know the truth >be tonight >he's having phone sex again >grab the airpod and be quiet cause remember airpods have microphones >can only hear his gf talking >feels like heaven >pretend she's talking to me and quietly masturbate >Coom.wav >they move to a normal conversation and she says "have a good night, I love you so much" >be so immersed that I reply "I love you too" >hear gf asking who the f--- said that >hear brother saying "anon?" through the wall >fuckfuckfuckfuck,exe >realize the royal f--- up and throw the airpod to the other side of the room >turn lights off and quietly reach my door to lock it then jump back in bed >hear brother knocking on my door but pretend to be asleep >"| know you're awake but we'll talk tomorrow" anons Im scared as all heckers im f------ s------- myself right now hwat the f--- do i do now

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Anon gets the vaccine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)16:30:43 No.8551462 >be me >just got COVID vaccine >have sudden urge to purchase Microsoft Office™ available now for only $69.99 per year 5 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)16:30:43 No.8551462 >be me >just got COVID vaccine >have sudden urge to purchase Microsoft Office™ available now for only $69.99 per year 5 KB JPG

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Some wholesomeness which hit me hard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/19(Tue)18:50:34 No.797540172 >be me >be 13 >visiting grandmas house >grandma is really good at cooking a pork dinner >sit down with family 174 KB JPG >eat >pork dinner Is really nice >yum >chocolate cake is nice >yum yum >thank you grandma >say to myself "I will remember this" >I still do >thank you for the memories
: Anonymous 04/16/19(Tue)18:50:34 No.797540172 >be me >be 13 >visiting grandmas house >grandma is really good at cooking a pork dinner >sit down with family 174 KB JPG >eat >pork dinner Is really nice >yum >chocolate cake is nice >yum yum >thank you grandma >say to myself "I will remember this" >I still do >thank you for the memories

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Let the bodies hit the floor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)10:03:09 No.65138040 >exercise for the first time in five or six years >can't move stay hydrated this is a threat >actually can't move and it isn't a joke >pleadingly look at the people around the gym and squirm on the floor 624 KB PNG >blood sugar is low >l faint >l wake up a half hour later in the same spot >barely get on my feet >stumble out of the gym
: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)10:03:09 No.65138040 >exercise for the first time in five or six years >can't move stay hydrated this is a threat >actually can't move and it isn't a joke >pleadingly look at the people around the gym and squirm on the floor 624 KB PNG >blood sugar is low >l faint >l wake up a half hour later in the same spot >barely get on my feet >stumble out of the gym

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This totally happened to anon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)18:44:54 No.872061368 >be me, 24 yo >never had a girlfriend, never even kissed a girl >forward 2 years, 26 yo >stopped caring about girls, go after what I want, play the bad boy 909 KB PNG look >getting p---- every weekend >girls love me now >about to go bang my side chick
: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)18:44:54 No.872061368 >be me, 24 yo >never had a girlfriend, never even kissed a girl >forward 2 years, 26 yo >stopped caring about girls, go after what I want, play the bad boy 909 KB PNG look >getting p---- every weekend >girls love me now >about to go bang my side chick

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Anon gets cucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/20(Thu)15:56:42 No.56824702 How do you manage pain? >decided to bite the bullet and get a h----- >find most good looking cheapest w---- near where i live >call her and we start talking >>"you sound a bit nervous,are you a virgin?" >"Y-yes i'm a virgin" Exerse/Yoga Teno/ibuprofen DAlcohot GAccupuncture/Massage Heroi B Prescridarion pain meds Latmply lve with the pain. Vote View results Seamore oolls 105 KB JPG >>"I'm sorry,i don't service virgins anymore.l feel super guilty afterwards." >she hangs up Nothing makes you feel more alive like being truned down by litteral prostitute,real confidence boost! 9 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 02/20/20(Thu)15:56:42 No.56824702 How do you manage pain? >decided to bite the bullet and get a h----- >find most good looking cheapest w---- near where i live >call her and we start talking >>"you sound a bit nervous,are you a virgin?" >"Y-yes i'm a virgin" Exerse/Yoga Teno/ibuprofen DAlcohot GAccupuncture/Massage Heroi B Prescridarion pain meds Latmply lve with the pain. Vote View results Seamore oolls 105 KB JPG >>"I'm sorry,i don't service virgins anymore.l feel super guilty afterwards." >she hangs up Nothing makes you feel more alive like being truned down by litteral prostitute,real confidence boost! 9 Replies View Thread

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Anon is racist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 48813221 2 min ago >Be me >At Wendy's waiting in line for tendies >Black guy walks into store and stands behind me >Immediately think to myself, "s---, this dude is about the rob the store" >Realize that I just unfairly based my thoughts on a stereotype >Decide that thinking in that way is unfair to others and close-minded and that I should pursue a more open-minded and accepting view of humanity from now on >Black guy pulls out gun >Robs the store >mfw 25.7 kB JPG REPLY
Anonymous | 48813221 2 min ago >Be me >At Wendy's waiting in line for tendies >Black guy walks into store and stands behind me >Immediately think to myself, "s---, this dude is about the rob the store" >Realize that I just unfairly based my thoughts on a stereotype >Decide that thinking in that way is unfair to others and close-minded and that I should pursue a more open-minded and accepting view of humanity from now on >Black guy pulls out gun >Robs the store >mfw 25.7 kB JPG REPLY

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Anon hates the uk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: TF5W8IEU ) COMFY 09/24/20(Thu)15:38:02 No.278949312 >go looking on google maps for cool random places in the world >live in s------- UK irl >find a random town in the US that feels a lot like Arlen from King of the Hill 53 KB JPG >start going back to this random tiny town in Nebraska with population of like 2k >feel so comfy and nostalgic for something I experienced >tfw they didn't even take it away from me, never er had it That is all.
: Anonymous (ID: TF5W8IEU ) COMFY 09/24/20(Thu)15:38:02 No.278949312 >go looking on google maps for cool random places in the world >live in s------- UK irl >find a random town in the US that feels a lot like Arlen from King of the Hill 53 KB JPG >start going back to this random tiny town in Nebraska with population of like 2k >feel so comfy and nostalgic for something I experienced >tfw they didn't even take it away from me, never er had it That is all.

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Anon is a nice guy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come >she was too drunk after party to 17 KB JPG drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?
: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come >she was too drunk after party to 17 KB JPG drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

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Anon is done | /r/Greentext

253243234554.jpg 18 KB JPG >open steam library >stare at games >open chrome >"google.com" >stare at screen >"youtube.com" >scroll down >close browser >stare at desktop icons of games >open steam library >repeat for 3 hours until it's socially acceptable to start making noise
253243234554.jpg 18 KB JPG >open steam library >stare at games >open chrome >"google.com" >stare at screen >"youtube.com" >scroll down >close browser >stare at desktop icons of games >open steam library >repeat for 3 hours until it's socially acceptable to start making noise

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/tv/ knows about Bane | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:48:34 No.163409657 >>163416579 File: this-guy-knows-about-bane.jpg (24 KB, 600x563) This guy knows about Bane Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:50:05 No.163409718 >>163409772 >>163409805 >>163409966 >>163410036 >>163410351 >>163416579 >>163418790 >>163418822 Bane? Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:51:24 No.163409772 >>163409718 # don't play dumb with me
>> Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:48:34 No.163409657 >>163416579 File: this-guy-knows-about-bane.jpg (24 KB, 600x563) This guy knows about Bane Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:50:05 No.163409718 >>163409772 >>163409805 >>163409966 >>163410036 >>163410351 >>163416579 >>163418790 >>163418822 Bane? Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:51:24 No.163409772 >>163409718 # don't play dumb with me

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Anon is gay? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)08:09:24 No.872097529 >Tfw l've been out as a gay male for over 10 years >now gay sex is so normal | started to develop a forced straight kink >fantasize constantly about a girl forcing me to blow my load into her womb, have babies, and get married >tfw I'm a gay man getting off to the idea 39 KB JPG of having seven or eight kids with a loving, tradwife
: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)08:09:24 No.872097529 >Tfw l've been out as a gay male for over 10 years >now gay sex is so normal | started to develop a forced straight kink >fantasize constantly about a girl forcing me to blow my load into her womb, have babies, and get married >tfw I'm a gay man getting off to the idea 39 KB JPG of having seven or eight kids with a loving, tradwife

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Anon is a suicidal autistic dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/17(Wed)20:46:20 No.41441199 My life is an /r9k/ meme >nerd and outcast all my life >ignore women completely because they ignore me >start making money as 108 KB JPG web engineer for Yahoo >eventually find cute girl that seems to care about me >Get married 2006 Fast forward to last year >have 3 kids, one 10, one 8, and one 7 >oldest son plays baseball, really loves it. Athletic, highest grades in class. >Middle girl also plays sports and gets great grades >youngest son isn't doing so well. Bullied at school, somehow overweight, screams over the tiniest things >in December my wife tells me that my oldest two kids aren't mine >they're actually my former boss's So what do I do here? Kill myself, I guess?
: Anonymous 11/29/17(Wed)20:46:20 No.41441199 My life is an /r9k/ meme >nerd and outcast all my life >ignore women completely because they ignore me >start making money as 108 KB JPG web engineer for Yahoo >eventually find cute girl that seems to care about me >Get married 2006 Fast forward to last year >have 3 kids, one 10, one 8, and one 7 >oldest son plays baseball, really loves it. Athletic, highest grades in class. >Middle girl also plays sports and gets great grades >youngest son isn't doing so well. Bullied at school, somehow overweight, screams over the tiniest things >in December my wife tells me that my oldest two kids aren't mine >they're actually my former boss's So what do I do here? Kill myself, I guess?

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Anon looks like a Wojack | /r/Greentext

File: 6e330c2ab44a01ef.jpg (647 KB, 3456x2383) O Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)16:09:31 No.65435834 [Reply] >>65436601 Can finasteride help me? 8 replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)17:34:54 No.65436601 File: 7D67E438-5CBE-4748-8158-B(.).png (193 KB, 1545x869) >>65435834 (OP) >pic related
File: 6e330c2ab44a01ef.jpg (647 KB, 3456x2383) O Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)16:09:31 No.65435834 [Reply] >>65436601 Can finasteride help me? 8 replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)17:34:54 No.65436601 File: 7D67E438-5CBE-4748-8158-B(.).png (193 KB, 1545x869) >>65435834 (OP) >pic related

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Anon is sick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: U0dTroQ 10/11/19(Fri)06:42:29 No.229478329 >be american >get sick >go backrupt 576 KB PNG View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: U0dTroQ 10/11/19(Fri)06:42:29 No.229478329 >be american >get sick >go backrupt 576 KB PNG View Thread

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The World Wide Weeb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)13:17:22 No.16657570 >Place order with Domino's >Look at Pizza Tracker >"Reiko began custom-making your order at XX:XX PM" mfw eating this pizza means l'll also be indirectly licking the fingers ABSOLUTELY KIMOCHI 9 KB JPG of a cute Japanese gril >>16657599 # : Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)13:23:30 No.16657599 >>16657570 # >he doesn't realise it's also a masculine German name
: Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)13:17:22 No.16657570 >Place order with Domino's >Look at Pizza Tracker >"Reiko began custom-making your order at XX:XX PM" mfw eating this pizza means l'll also be indirectly licking the fingers ABSOLUTELY KIMOCHI 9 KB JPG of a cute Japanese gril >>16657599 # : Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)13:23:30 No.16657599 >>16657570 # >he doesn't realise it's also a masculine German name

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Anon gets a GF | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money 295 KB PNG >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822 >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free?
Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money 295 KB PNG >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822 >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free?

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Anons Dad buys a truck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Y8DE0+0A 02/03/18(Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg >"why you just got a new one' >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" 128 KB JPG >says I don't understand vehicles >ffw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?
: Anonymous (ID: Y8DE0+0A 02/03/18(Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg >"why you just got a new one' >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" 128 KB JPG >says I don't understand vehicles >ffw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

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The end is near for UK anons | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 12/24/20(Thu)09:33:41 No.18300540 >The Ottoman Empire decriminalized homosexuality in 1858 >The UK decriminalized homosexuality in 1967 Good Lord Bongland is a special kind of f----- isn't it 166 KB PNG Anonymous 12/24/20(Thu)09:35:53 No.18300556 >>18300540 (OP) # >ottoman empire collapsed 50 years later >UK collapsing now Really makes you think
:Anonymous 12/24/20(Thu)09:33:41 No.18300540 >The Ottoman Empire decriminalized homosexuality in 1858 >The UK decriminalized homosexuality in 1967 Good Lord Bongland is a special kind of f----- isn't it 166 KB PNG Anonymous 12/24/20(Thu)09:35:53 No.18300556 >>18300540 (OP) # >ottoman empire collapsed 50 years later >UK collapsing now Really makes you think

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Anon gets called a misogynist by w*men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)10:47:56 No.872089971 >gf gets frequent UTIS >gf gets prescribed a heavy UTI antibiotic to take prophylactically >antibiotic makes her feel nauseous and gives her headaches and she has to take it after everytime we have sex >antibiotic also may cause issues 9 KB JPG when pregnant/breastfeeding and can cause kidney damage with long term use >ask her to go talk to her gynecologist during her next appointment >gynecologist pretty much shrugs and says its the only real option >concerned what long-term use of antibiotic will do to her so decided to ask a girl forum if they have similar experiences or advice. >get called a misogynist, and a p------------ for thinking I know better when I'm a man and don't know what it's like and I should shut up because I'm a typical a------ man who thinks he knows better than my gf or her doctor >just care about my girlfriend and wanted some other anecdotal stories >ask again the next day but leave out the part I'm a guy asking for my girlfriend >get actual real advice and similar stories but yes...please tell me more of how men are more toxic than women.
: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)10:47:56 No.872089971 >gf gets frequent UTIS >gf gets prescribed a heavy UTI antibiotic to take prophylactically >antibiotic makes her feel nauseous and gives her headaches and she has to take it after everytime we have sex >antibiotic also may cause issues 9 KB JPG when pregnant/breastfeeding and can cause kidney damage with long term use >ask her to go talk to her gynecologist during her next appointment >gynecologist pretty much shrugs and says its the only real option >concerned what long-term use of antibiotic will do to her so decided to ask a girl forum if they have similar experiences or advice. >get called a misogynist, and a p------------ for thinking I know better when I'm a man and don't know what it's like and I should shut up because I'm a typical a------ man who thinks he knows better than my gf or her doctor >just care about my girlfriend and wanted some other anecdotal stories >ask again the next day but leave out the part I'm a guy asking for my girlfriend >get actual real advice and similar stories but yes...please tell me more of how men are more toxic than women.

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