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Anon will forget | /r/Greentext

File: mfw. jpg (9 KB, 360x287) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:35:44 No.848511858 > googling Alzheimer's symptoms > all the links are purple. >mfw
File: mfw. jpg (9 KB, 360x287) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:35:44 No.848511858 > googling Alzheimer's symptoms > all the links are purple. >mfw

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Anon loves pokemon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Legends Arceus is so fun 02/03/22(Thu)18:09:31 No.49538074 57B5399B-5B93-435C-8169-647296068410.jpg 798 KB JPG Was at a murder trial today and just couldn't put down Pokemon Legends Arceus. The Switch is so amazing for letting me play anywhere.
: Anonymous Legends Arceus is so fun 02/03/22(Thu)18:09:31 No.49538074 57B5399B-5B93-435C-8169-647296068410.jpg 798 KB JPG Was at a murder trial today and just couldn't put down Pokemon Legends Arceus. The Switch is so amazing for letting me play anywhere.

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Anon buys nft | /r/Greentext

KFC KFC R: 0 Just stole this NFT R: 10 / I: 2 ► Just bought this NFT and now l'm trying to make profit and sell it? Did I do good or am I retard? https://rarible.com/t oken/flow/A.01 from a retard. Did I do good? ab36aaf654a13e.Rar ibleNFT:116169
KFC KFC R: 0 Just stole this NFT R: 10 / I: 2 ► Just bought this NFT and now l'm trying to make profit and sell it? Did I do good or am I retard? https://rarible.com/t oken/flow/A.01 from a retard. Did I do good? ab36aaf654a13e.Rar ibleNFT:116169

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Anon is an entrepreneur | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39) 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 x 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 ina month doing this
5m (9/20 9:39) 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 x 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 ina month doing this

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Anon witnesses something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)14:44:55 No.872025483 >be me >hungry as s--- out of no where >no f------ food in house s--- >grabs my keys and wallet to buy junk food at the gas station 1.17 MB PNG >half way through hear my neighbor walking down his driveway so i look over towards him >he is just wearing f------ flip flops and a pair of boxers while carrying 2 big black trash bags >its f------ 3am and it just snowed for the past 2 days so its cold as s--- out and like a good foot of snow on the ground >before he even is able to put his trash in his bins someone peaks out his door and screams >BRO THE PIZZA IS ABOUT TO BURN >other neighbor looks towards him and f------ bolts to the trashcans tosses the bags in and run back up his driveway through 1 foot of snow and a pair of flipflops and goes inside >stand there just f------ dumb founded what the f--- did I just witness
: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)14:44:55 No.872025483 >be me >hungry as s--- out of no where >no f------ food in house s--- >grabs my keys and wallet to buy junk food at the gas station 1.17 MB PNG >half way through hear my neighbor walking down his driveway so i look over towards him >he is just wearing f------ flip flops and a pair of boxers while carrying 2 big black trash bags >its f------ 3am and it just snowed for the past 2 days so its cold as s--- out and like a good foot of snow on the ground >before he even is able to put his trash in his bins someone peaks out his door and screams >BRO THE PIZZA IS ABOUT TO BURN >other neighbor looks towards him and f------ bolts to the trashcans tosses the bags in and run back up his driveway through 1 foot of snow and a pair of flipflops and goes inside >stand there just f------ dumb founded what the f--- did I just witness

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Anon likes RoboCop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/19(Mon)12:28:07 No.807496699 Feeling cute. Might maul the neighbor's child later. IDK > Be me, 21 year old virgin, early 1990's > Mom's friend's daughter comes to stay with us while see is looking for work > 19 yo qt with long black hair > We spent a lot of time together as I had to drive her around 65 KB JPG > One day we are alone at home > We are watching videos, Robocop > She stops the movie and says she has something to show me > Puts in another video, smiles and press play > P----. Never seen a p---- before, don't know why she is showing me this > Tell her to put Robocop on again > Watch Robocop in silence > Awesome movie View Thread
: Anonymous 08/19/19(Mon)12:28:07 No.807496699 Feeling cute. Might maul the neighbor's child later. IDK > Be me, 21 year old virgin, early 1990's > Mom's friend's daughter comes to stay with us while see is looking for work > 19 yo qt with long black hair > We spent a lot of time together as I had to drive her around 65 KB JPG > One day we are alone at home > We are watching videos, Robocop > She stops the movie and says she has something to show me > Puts in another video, smiles and press play > P----. Never seen a p---- before, don't know why she is showing me this > Tell her to put Robocop on again > Watch Robocop in silence > Awesome movie View Thread

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anon suffers from delusions of talent | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)19:24:36 No.872003661 Tckeaptoae debeb21772cfca028fb71d60d2bbe6e8.jpg 123 KB JPG Please rate my painting of Jacksepticeye i did in rehab 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)19:24:36 No.872003661 Tckeaptoae debeb21772cfca028fb71d60d2bbe6e8.jpg 123 KB JPG Please rate my painting of Jacksepticeye i did in rehab 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon loves animals | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)09:50:37 No.869965152 capybara432.jpg 40 KB JPG I really love this animal The caterpillar
: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)09:50:37 No.869965152 capybara432.jpg 40 KB JPG I really love this animal The caterpillar

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anon experiences the peak | /r/Greentext

File: 9262499A-DBB3-4F42-9BC1-8(...).jpg (63 KB, 1082x695) Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)10:46:38 No.67279122 [Reply] >Be me >Snowing outside >Make hot chocolate >put on warm socks and wrap up in a warm blanket >play vidya Is this the peak??
File: 9262499A-DBB3-4F42-9BC1-8(...).jpg (63 KB, 1082x695) Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)10:46:38 No.67279122 [Reply] >Be me >Snowing outside >Make hot chocolate >put on warm socks and wrap up in a warm blanket >play vidya Is this the peak??

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Anon is a raptor. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/17(Thu)22:44:40 No.38350468 >school assembly, i'm in grade 8 >they're handing out little award things for people who did sports and good academic s--- >they announce the helping/kindness award, only my name is called (I did this volunteering s--- where I helped the band put s--- 186 KB PNG away after their practices) >think it would be cool to walk up like a raptor >l walk up there hunched over like a raptor with my hands forward like raptor claws and exaggerated raptor leg movements kicking behind me >walk back to my seat in the same fashion >everyone around me is giving me weird looks >next class everyone is like what the f--- is wrong with you
: Anonymous 07/13/17(Thu)22:44:40 No.38350468 >school assembly, i'm in grade 8 >they're handing out little award things for people who did sports and good academic s--- >they announce the helping/kindness award, only my name is called (I did this volunteering s--- where I helped the band put s--- 186 KB PNG away after their practices) >think it would be cool to walk up like a raptor >l walk up there hunched over like a raptor with my hands forward like raptor claws and exaggerated raptor leg movements kicking behind me >walk back to my seat in the same fashion >everyone around me is giving me weird looks >next class everyone is like what the f--- is wrong with you

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Anon goes on expensive date | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)13:51:50 No.871980071 [Reply] ► >Be me, grade A virgin >Cousin got sad after seeing my plight, and decided to set me up on a blind date >l didn't have any hopes, but still went forward with the date >We were supposed to meet over dinner >She was decent looking 5/10 >She asked the waiter to bring the most expensive wine >ThisFuckingBitch.mp3 >l didn't want to be rude, so I didn't say anything, but I was worried she would financially suck me dry >She ordered expensive food on the menu as well >I knew I was grandly f----- >I then decided to excuse myself to the restroom to cool down >Took some time and figured it would be in my best interest to just bail >And I did just that >My cousin started blasting my phone with several missed calls and expletive messages >Switched off my phone, jerked off and went to sleep
| Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)13:51:50 No.871980071 [Reply] ► >Be me, grade A virgin >Cousin got sad after seeing my plight, and decided to set me up on a blind date >l didn't have any hopes, but still went forward with the date >We were supposed to meet over dinner >She was decent looking 5/10 >She asked the waiter to bring the most expensive wine >ThisFuckingBitch.mp3 >l didn't want to be rude, so I didn't say anything, but I was worried she would financially suck me dry >She ordered expensive food on the menu as well >I knew I was grandly f----- >I then decided to excuse myself to the restroom to cool down >Took some time and figured it would be in my best interest to just bail >And I did just that >My cousin started blasting my phone with several missed calls and expletive messages >Switched off my phone, jerked off and went to sleep

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Anon's mom manipulates him | /r/Greentext

>move to a new city because I hate mine >find a good job with pretty damn good wage >l f------ like working >actually enjoy the city >everything is going as good as it can, 309 KB PNG except for the fact I'm totally alone, but I'm okay with it >FF four months >get call from mom, she asks the usual "how's it going anon? are you good? do you need something I can bring to you?" >explain I'm doing fantastically well on my own >get asked about friends >tell her I have none >gat asked about girls I like >tell her I don't like any in particular >mom's voice starts cracking >she asks me why I'm alone after so much time far from home >answer with "I'm used to being alone since before I moved, don't worry about me mom" >hear her clearly crying from the other side >call ends, I try to recall her >doesn't answer >recall her a few more times >nothing I f------ made mom cry why am I such a p------------?
>move to a new city because I hate mine >find a good job with pretty damn good wage >l f------ like working >actually enjoy the city >everything is going as good as it can, 309 KB PNG except for the fact I'm totally alone, but I'm okay with it >FF four months >get call from mom, she asks the usual "how's it going anon? are you good? do you need something I can bring to you?" >explain I'm doing fantastically well on my own >get asked about friends >tell her I have none >gat asked about girls I like >tell her I don't like any in particular >mom's voice starts cracking >she asks me why I'm alone after so much time far from home >answer with "I'm used to being alone since before I moved, don't worry about me mom" >hear her clearly crying from the other side >call ends, I try to recall her >doesn't answer >recall her a few more times >nothing I f------ made mom cry why am I such a p------------?

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anon interacts with a woman | /r/Greentext

File: 20211222_115606.jpg (76 KB, 768x960) Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)08:47:29 No.67277921 [Reply] >>67278368 >be me, 17 >walking back home from school >long way home, 2km/1,25 miles >random qt3.14 hugs me from behind and greets me like an old friend >"I think you got the wrong person" >"What do you mean, Edward? Quit messing around, dude" >my name isn't Edward >notice dude behind her and realize >pretend it was a joke, retard chit-chat while planning next move >greet dude and make up some b------- about her coming home with me for important school stuff >he gives up quickly and let us go >didn't seem like an evil stalker just desperate and misguided >cross street, as soon as we lose sight of the stalker she thanks me profusely >walk her to a bus stop and wait with her >like a couple all the way with my hand over her shoulder and hers around my hip >she pecks my cheek before getting on the bus >never see her again 4 years later, still the closest I got to a woman. Post whitepills and disregard blackpill f------
File: 20211222_115606.jpg (76 KB, 768x960) Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)08:47:29 No.67277921 [Reply] >>67278368 >be me, 17 >walking back home from school >long way home, 2km/1,25 miles >random qt3.14 hugs me from behind and greets me like an old friend >"I think you got the wrong person" >"What do you mean, Edward? Quit messing around, dude" >my name isn't Edward >notice dude behind her and realize >pretend it was a joke, retard chit-chat while planning next move >greet dude and make up some b------- about her coming home with me for important school stuff >he gives up quickly and let us go >didn't seem like an evil stalker just desperate and misguided >cross street, as soon as we lose sight of the stalker she thanks me profusely >walk her to a bus stop and wait with her >like a couple all the way with my hand over her shoulder and hers around my hip >she pecks my cheek before getting on the bus >never see her again 4 years later, still the closest I got to a woman. Post whitepills and disregard blackpill f------

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SOCIETY 3 years from now | /r/Greentext

File: 1629653140556.png (967 KB, 824x760) Anonymous 10/03/21(Sun)15:31:42 No.5175643 >>5175677 >>5176053 >>5176728 >>5176790 >>5176795 >>5176814 >>5176839 >Right this way sir to the cockroach milk isle but before that i just need to scan your vaxpass app >Oh my science! It appears you've only gotten your 7th booster. >Guards, arrest this chud for trying to start a 13th wave! 0000
File: 1629653140556.png (967 KB, 824x760) Anonymous 10/03/21(Sun)15:31:42 No.5175643 >>5175677 >>5176053 >>5176728 >>5176790 >>5176795 >>5176814 >>5176839 >Right this way sir to the cockroach milk isle but before that i just need to scan your vaxpass app >Oh my science! It appears you've only gotten your 7th booster. >Guards, arrest this chud for trying to start a 13th wave! 0000

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Anon shops on Amazon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)12:21:25 No.67268457 Mogic Wand Magic Wand Rechargeable with Green Cosmos Personal Moisturizer - 8 oz ***** 220 $129.95 vprime who-knows-maybe.png 31 KB PNG >log onto amazon >literally one of the first items it suggests >i'm not even a chick, lol Does it work for bumholes, though? View Thread
: Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)12:21:25 No.67268457 Mogic Wand Magic Wand Rechargeable with Green Cosmos Personal Moisturizer - 8 oz ***** 220 $129.95 vprime who-knows-maybe.png 31 KB PNG >log onto amazon >literally one of the first items it suggests >i'm not even a chick, lol Does it work for bumholes, though? View Thread

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Anon meets a nice man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)00:41:07 No.872024174 >when I was 9 I went to Vegas >we were at a hotel I can't remember which one and getting on an elevator >I hear a burley voice ask to hold the door 14 KB JPG >my parents look like they've just seen a ghost >I look up >John f------ Goodman is standing there in a nice suit fairly tipsy >my parents are in awe same as me >l said "you're the guy from the Flintstones!" >he yells " oh boy are you right! yabadabadoo!" asks my dad to hold his cigar and picks me up >points down at my shirt and says "whats that?" and then flicks my nose >l was laughing and he chuckled and said "good kid you got here" >he put me down reaches in his pocket, pulls out a money clip and gave my parents a couple hundred dollars each and a cigar and said "you guys enjoy your trip huh?" >we walk out of the elevator and look back and he points a finger gun at me and clicks his tongue, waves goodbye to my parents >totally awesome dude 10/10 celebrity >I will never not be a fan
: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)00:41:07 No.872024174 >when I was 9 I went to Vegas >we were at a hotel I can't remember which one and getting on an elevator >I hear a burley voice ask to hold the door 14 KB JPG >my parents look like they've just seen a ghost >I look up >John f------ Goodman is standing there in a nice suit fairly tipsy >my parents are in awe same as me >l said "you're the guy from the Flintstones!" >he yells " oh boy are you right! yabadabadoo!" asks my dad to hold his cigar and picks me up >points down at my shirt and says "whats that?" and then flicks my nose >l was laughing and he chuckled and said "good kid you got here" >he put me down reaches in his pocket, pulls out a money clip and gave my parents a couple hundred dollars each and a cigar and said "you guys enjoy your trip huh?" >we walk out of the elevator and look back and he points a finger gun at me and clicks his tongue, waves goodbye to my parents >totally awesome dude 10/10 celebrity >I will never not be a fan

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anon likes grape | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)01:56:21 No.848996983 >be me >eating grape and watching tv >grape tasty grape 8 KB JPG 5 Replies /3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)01:56:21 No.848996983 >be me >eating grape and watching tv >grape tasty grape 8 KB JPG 5 Replies /3 Images View Thread

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Anon will be rich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fr)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered >9006183 # 229006205 # :Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy
: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fr)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered >9006183 # 229006205 # :Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy

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Anon goes on 4chan | /r/Greentext

> be me > actually have a really good life, get girls, etc > get sad every once in a while > go on 4chan and thank God I'm not like any of you degenerates > thx guys 3 KB JPG
> be me > actually have a really good life, get girls, etc > get sad every once in a while > go on 4chan and thank God I'm not like any of you degenerates > thx guys 3 KB JPG

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If only 4chan was a suicide hotline forum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)00:43:32 No.16564556 >boiling potatoes on the stove >leave them for a bit >start smelling gas >the fire went out on the stove for some reason >turn off the stove 277 KB PNG I've only had a gas stove for two months, am I okay? I opened all my windows. : Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)00:44:31 No.16564558 Light a match, that'll clear the air. >>16564569 #
: Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)00:43:32 No.16564556 >boiling potatoes on the stove >leave them for a bit >start smelling gas >the fire went out on the stove for some reason >turn off the stove 277 KB PNG I've only had a gas stove for two months, am I okay? I opened all my windows. : Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)00:44:31 No.16564558 Light a match, that'll clear the air. >>16564569 #

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