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Dont do it anons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/18(Fri)01:07:26 No.4517231C >Be paramedic >Seen dozens of suicides in the last 8 years >The reactions of the loved ones are always bad 169 KB JPG >None is ever worse than a dad loosing his son There is not a thing in this world that is more depressing sounding than a man sobbing while clutching his sons lifeless body. I remember one who killed himself by shotgun slug after he came back from Iraq. There was nothing left of him, and his father got home just as we were getting ready to leave. I couldn't let him see, so I stood there and just didn't let him through. He went downstairs to the basement and clutched his sons old baseball glove, rocking back and forth, just saying "papas here, buddy, papas here." Don't do it anons. >>45172699 #
: Anonymous 03/16/18(Fri)01:07:26 No.4517231C >Be paramedic >Seen dozens of suicides in the last 8 years >The reactions of the loved ones are always bad 169 KB JPG >None is ever worse than a dad loosing his son There is not a thing in this world that is more depressing sounding than a man sobbing while clutching his sons lifeless body. I remember one who killed himself by shotgun slug after he came back from Iraq. There was nothing left of him, and his father got home just as we were getting ready to leave. I couldn't let him see, so I stood there and just didn't let him through. He went downstairs to the basement and clutched his sons old baseball glove, rocking back and forth, just saying "papas here, buddy, papas here." Don't do it anons. >>45172699 #

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Anon asks a provocative question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #
: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #

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10 Seconds to be as millennial as possible | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >So I was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #
: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >So I was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #

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Anon spends too much time on 4chan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34524884 55 min. ago >be me >be in communications class >persuasive speech >autism = activate >start speech with "be me" >awkward silence from class should i just drop out?
Anonymous 34524884 55 min. ago >be me >be in communications class >persuasive speech >autism = activate >start speech with "be me" >awkward silence from class should i just drop out?

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anon cant keep his hands to himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/22(Wed)22:08:49 No.871950047 >be alcohol delivery driver >ring doorbell >woman comes out holding a small dog >ask if i can pet the dog >she says yes >i pet dog >the tip of my ring finger accidentally touches her 51 KB JPG chest >she recoils and goes berserk >she calls out to her husband >husband comes out >she cry-splains what i "did" to her >dude goes a------ on me >takes a picture of my license plate and gets on the phone with the police >i call my boss and ask him for advice >he says stay put and explain my side of the story to the cops >i do that >10 months and $4k later im offered a plea bargain >admit i groped her or go to trial >receive 180 days of community service + 2 years probation >have to register as sex offender >warning for my /b/ros: never extend your hand towards a woman you don't know >not even once
: Anonymous 02/02/22(Wed)22:08:49 No.871950047 >be alcohol delivery driver >ring doorbell >woman comes out holding a small dog >ask if i can pet the dog >she says yes >i pet dog >the tip of my ring finger accidentally touches her 51 KB JPG chest >she recoils and goes berserk >she calls out to her husband >husband comes out >she cry-splains what i "did" to her >dude goes a------ on me >takes a picture of my license plate and gets on the phone with the police >i call my boss and ask him for advice >he says stay put and explain my side of the story to the cops >i do that >10 months and $4k later im offered a plea bargain >admit i groped her or go to trial >receive 180 days of community service + 2 years probation >have to register as sex offender >warning for my /b/ros: never extend your hand towards a woman you don't know >not even once

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Wholesome /b/ | /r/Greentext

File: 01C3466D-D407-4197-A5CA-C(...).jpg (8 KB, 180x280) I Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)15:05:25 No.871963717 [Reply] ► >>871963796 >walk past dad in the morning >"oh hey anon you look handsome now that you've lost some weight" >today is a good day Showing all replies. I Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)15:08:26 No.871963796 ► >>871963857 >>871963717 (OP) dad wants to bang you in the ass now that you arent a disgusting fatass
File: 01C3466D-D407-4197-A5CA-C(...).jpg (8 KB, 180x280) I Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)15:05:25 No.871963717 [Reply] ► >>871963796 >walk past dad in the morning >"oh hey anon you look handsome now that you've lost some weight" >today is a good day Showing all replies. I Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)15:08:26 No.871963796 ► >>871963857 >>871963717 (OP) dad wants to bang you in the ass now that you arent a disgusting fatass

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Anon is a simp | /r/Greentext

File: Whyme.jpg (39 KB, 728x655) O Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)13:07:32 No.67265142 [Reply] ► >>67265157 >get with mentally ill loner gf >slowly prioritize spending time with gf over spending time with friends >slowly lose friend group >thatsfine.jpg i have my gf I dont mind >gf eventually gets friend group >dumps me the moment she has a support group and I dont >waste 4 years of my life, now with no friends in a city i barely know Now i spend my days drinking drinking and drinking. Trust no one desu >> O Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)13:09:20 No.67265157 >>67265180 >>67265142 (OP) You ditched your friends for p----. You brought on your own downfall, now suffer with it.
File: Whyme.jpg (39 KB, 728x655) O Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)13:07:32 No.67265142 [Reply] ► >>67265157 >get with mentally ill loner gf >slowly prioritize spending time with gf over spending time with friends >slowly lose friend group >thatsfine.jpg i have my gf I dont mind >gf eventually gets friend group >dumps me the moment she has a support group and I dont >waste 4 years of my life, now with no friends in a city i barely know Now i spend my days drinking drinking and drinking. Trust no one desu >> O Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)13:09:20 No.67265157 >>67265180 >>67265142 (OP) You ditched your friends for p----. You brought on your own downfall, now suffer with it.

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anon is looking for a new job | /r/Greentext

File: Sadge.png (121 KB, 498x482) Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)10:19:25 No.67264607 [Reply] >>67265680 >>67265747 >be me years ago >7th grade >make some 6th grade friends >we all love pokemon >talk about other stuff too but it's mostly pokemon >happy to have people to talk to about it since pokemon wasn't that popular in my country >finish middle school and go to highschool in different area >this was back in the day so no whatsapp and I didn't have a facebook account >lose all contact with them >be me noW >27yr old >get first job(i f----- up some stuff throughout the years) >comfy office job >see one of my friends from 7th grade >holyshit.png >don't get a chance to say more than "hey" because busy >fast forward a couple weeks >job is going well >co workers treat me nicely >finally get a chance to talk to friend >we chat for a bit and I ask if he still likes pokemon >"dude that s--- is for kids don't tell me you still play that stuff?" >still love pokemon but lie and say that I just play sometimes >figure we can still be friends even though he doesn't like pokemon anymore >over the next couple days people start treating me different >start calling me the "pokemon master" >saying s--- like "here comes ash" and "don't get him angry or pikachu will shock you" >mfw this has been my life for the past 3 weeks >mfw l'm currently looking for a new job >mfw I really liked this job
File: Sadge.png (121 KB, 498x482) Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)10:19:25 No.67264607 [Reply] >>67265680 >>67265747 >be me years ago >7th grade >make some 6th grade friends >we all love pokemon >talk about other stuff too but it's mostly pokemon >happy to have people to talk to about it since pokemon wasn't that popular in my country >finish middle school and go to highschool in different area >this was back in the day so no whatsapp and I didn't have a facebook account >lose all contact with them >be me noW >27yr old >get first job(i f----- up some stuff throughout the years) >comfy office job >see one of my friends from 7th grade >holyshit.png >don't get a chance to say more than "hey" because busy >fast forward a couple weeks >job is going well >co workers treat me nicely >finally get a chance to talk to friend >we chat for a bit and I ask if he still likes pokemon >"dude that s--- is for kids don't tell me you still play that stuff?" >still love pokemon but lie and say that I just play sometimes >figure we can still be friends even though he doesn't like pokemon anymore >over the next couple days people start treating me different >start calling me the "pokemon master" >saying s--- like "here comes ash" and "don't get him angry or pikachu will shock you" >mfw this has been my life for the past 3 weeks >mfw l'm currently looking for a new job >mfw I really liked this job

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Anon does it with consent | /r/Greentext

>masturbating to picture of a celebrity girl I like >c-- >switch over to a picture where she's smiling and looks happy so I know she enjoyed and consented 45 KB JPG with what has just occurred
>masturbating to picture of a celebrity girl I like >c-- >switch over to a picture where she's smiling and looks happy so I know she enjoyed and consented 45 KB JPG with what has just occurred

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I fake it so real, I am beyond fake | /r/Greentext

File: 36872806.jpg (377 KB, 1600x1200) Anonymous 11/01/20(Sun)11:32:52 No.60724258 [Reply] ►>>60727056 >>60727082 >>60727201 i just had sex with my dolly and am about to cuddle and watch anime why haven't you taken the dollpill yet /r9k/ + 6 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 11/01/20(Sun)15:50:19 No.60727056 >> Anonymous 11/01/20(Sun)15:52:12 No.60727082 >> Anonymous 11/01/20(Sun)15:54:49 No.60727115 >> Anonymous 11/01/20(Sun)16:02:54 No.60727201 *O Anonymous 11/01/20(Sun)16:03:19 No.60727207 D >you wake up >beside you in bed is a large rubber and plastic doll with pink hair and vaguely human characteristics >"hey baby" you croak out into the dim, odor-filled room >you heave your fat, malnourished body up into a sitting position >"that was a really great time last night" you wheeze >the doll stares back at you with dead eyes >"haha of course baby" >with great effort you slide out of bed and waddle to the kitchen >you gather up soap and a towel in your fat greasy arms >returning to bed, you pull the sheets from your plastic girlfriend >for the next 20 minutes you wipe and clean the dried up c-- out of its rubber vagina >the rag gets tossed to the floor before you lay back in bed beside "her" >"there you go baby, nice and clean" >you boot up your laptop and turn on your favorite anime >you wrap your heavy arms around the plastic frame beside you "i love you" you whisper into its ear >there is no response >only silence >forever
File: 36872806.jpg (377 KB, 1600x1200) Anonymous 11/01/20(Sun)11:32:52 No.60724258 [Reply] ►>>60727056 >>60727082 >>60727201 i just had sex with my dolly and am about to cuddle and watch anime why haven't you taken the dollpill yet /r9k/ + 6 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 11/01/20(Sun)15:50:19 No.60727056 >> Anonymous 11/01/20(Sun)15:52:12 No.60727082 >> Anonymous 11/01/20(Sun)15:54:49 No.60727115 >> Anonymous 11/01/20(Sun)16:02:54 No.60727201 *O Anonymous 11/01/20(Sun)16:03:19 No.60727207 D >you wake up >beside you in bed is a large rubber and plastic doll with pink hair and vaguely human characteristics >"hey baby" you croak out into the dim, odor-filled room >you heave your fat, malnourished body up into a sitting position >"that was a really great time last night" you wheeze >the doll stares back at you with dead eyes >"haha of course baby" >with great effort you slide out of bed and waddle to the kitchen >you gather up soap and a towel in your fat greasy arms >returning to bed, you pull the sheets from your plastic girlfriend >for the next 20 minutes you wipe and clean the dried up c-- out of its rubber vagina >the rag gets tossed to the floor before you lay back in bed beside "her" >"there you go baby, nice and clean" >you boot up your laptop and turn on your favorite anime >you wrap your heavy arms around the plastic frame beside you "i love you" you whisper into its ear >there is no response >only silence >forever

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Anon is a broken man | /r/Greentext

>work too much You work too little! >crowd her space You don't give me enough attention! >make more money 31 KB JPG but not more money than her or she'll feel lesser! >buy expensive stuff for her and she loves it You bought a PC? how dare you spend that much on something for yourself!? >clean the house why didn't you do this one thing that I specifically wanted done without telling you! >fix her car complain about back pain? Yeah right I pushed a baby out! >she tells yoou to relax more Why are you so lazy! Get out more! >go fishing to relax Yeah right, you're sleeping with someone else! >play video games You spend too much time on there! >get a hobby Why can't we have a mutual hobby?!?! >yell at her when you break You're an abusive a------! I'm leaving you! Stay. F------. Single. You think your girl is "chill and not like that" Well f--- you, so did I, give it 5 years.
>work too much You work too little! >crowd her space You don't give me enough attention! >make more money 31 KB JPG but not more money than her or she'll feel lesser! >buy expensive stuff for her and she loves it You bought a PC? how dare you spend that much on something for yourself!? >clean the house why didn't you do this one thing that I specifically wanted done without telling you! >fix her car complain about back pain? Yeah right I pushed a baby out! >she tells yoou to relax more Why are you so lazy! Get out more! >go fishing to relax Yeah right, you're sleeping with someone else! >play video games You spend too much time on there! >get a hobby Why can't we have a mutual hobby?!?! >yell at her when you break You're an abusive a------! I'm leaving you! Stay. F------. Single. You think your girl is "chill and not like that" Well f--- you, so did I, give it 5 years.

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Anon sleeps on couch. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/18(Thu)11:31:51 No.42419292 >>42419060 (OP) # >be me >have female friend >she wants to come to my place >chill, watch some movies, eat pizza, 33 KB JPG talk >It's getting late, she wants to stay overnight >k whatevs >prepare the couch for her >we go to sleep >10 mins later she crawls into my bed >she slightly puts her head angainst my shoulder >feel uncomfortable, think she wants to have the bed >l get up and sleep on the couch yeah, we never talked to each other again
: Anonymous 01/11/18(Thu)11:31:51 No.42419292 >>42419060 (OP) # >be me >have female friend >she wants to come to my place >chill, watch some movies, eat pizza, 33 KB JPG talk >It's getting late, she wants to stay overnight >k whatevs >prepare the couch for her >we go to sleep >10 mins later she crawls into my bed >she slightly puts her head angainst my shoulder >feel uncomfortable, think she wants to have the bed >l get up and sleep on the couch yeah, we never talked to each other again

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anon meets masochist | /r/Greentext

God spit in my mouth | 7714226 Il y a 1 h ... My new slobbering mongrel >be me, 19F >think about selling underwear online >put up ad online yesterday, 17 replies >making deals, looking good >Guy messages me >asks to buy my pissy s----- underwear and a jar of my piss >l agree >asks if l'm interested in forcefeeding it to him for money >tell him maybe in the future >we keep talking >turns out he's mega submissive >tells me hes never been dommed 14,2 kB JPG >ask him if he likes dogs Lmao I convinced this bitch to wear a dog collar to work every day haha, I'm getting paid to sit on my ass and barely acknowledge him while he runs around with a collar. Christ I love BDSM
God spit in my mouth | 7714226 Il y a 1 h ... My new slobbering mongrel >be me, 19F >think about selling underwear online >put up ad online yesterday, 17 replies >making deals, looking good >Guy messages me >asks to buy my pissy s----- underwear and a jar of my piss >l agree >asks if l'm interested in forcefeeding it to him for money >tell him maybe in the future >we keep talking >turns out he's mega submissive >tells me hes never been dommed 14,2 kB JPG >ask him if he likes dogs Lmao I convinced this bitch to wear a dog collar to work every day haha, I'm getting paid to sit on my ass and barely acknowledge him while he runs around with a collar. Christ I love BDSM

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Anon finds a new friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.
Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.

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Anon finds a toot horn | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/01/16(Wed)20:19:47 No.687268480 File: toot.jpg (46 KB, 1300x869) Contributing. >Be 10y/o me at best friends house >Rooting through his toy box >We find party horn, pic related >Start blowing horn and giggling like f------ >Friend hab idea >Pulls down trousers and inserts tip of hom into anus >Lets out chubby kid fart and blows horn >Rolling around laughing then realise s--- on horn >Scream as we laugh and throw dirty horn on top of wardrobe >Hear horn fall down back of wardrobe Fast forward 6 years >Be still best buddies, hanging out in bedroom playing Mega Drive >Friends mother in his room clearing round us because lazy rebellious teenagers >Mother scrambling around behind wardrobe >"Hey look what I found anons!" TOOT >me and friend pause, flashback, then absolutely lose our s--- >Mom sees how hilarious she is and starts to march round bedroom tooting horn I miss that guy
O Anonymous 06/01/16(Wed)20:19:47 No.687268480 File: toot.jpg (46 KB, 1300x869) Contributing. >Be 10y/o me at best friends house >Rooting through his toy box >We find party horn, pic related >Start blowing horn and giggling like f------ >Friend hab idea >Pulls down trousers and inserts tip of hom into anus >Lets out chubby kid fart and blows horn >Rolling around laughing then realise s--- on horn >Scream as we laugh and throw dirty horn on top of wardrobe >Hear horn fall down back of wardrobe Fast forward 6 years >Be still best buddies, hanging out in bedroom playing Mega Drive >Friends mother in his room clearing round us because lazy rebellious teenagers >Mother scrambling around behind wardrobe >"Hey look what I found anons!" TOOT >me and friend pause, flashback, then absolutely lose our s--- >Mom sees how hilarious she is and starts to march round bedroom tooting horn I miss that guy

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I don’t have no feels | /r/Greentext

Fle: Untiled cag (156 KB, 1041x596) >perhaps the heaviest things that we lift are not our weights, but our feels -anon Motivational.
Fle: Untiled cag (156 KB, 1041x596) >perhaps the heaviest things that we lift are not our weights, but our feels -anon Motivational.

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anon has a good day | /r/Greentext

File: E2wKFFBXMAYKIlİR.jpg (27 KB, 425x391) How was your day anons? Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)11:33:54 No.67265378 [Reply] >be me >a few hours ago >walking home from school when a construction worker compliments my hat >be in good mood after that > while walking stop at local convenience store and hold the door open for a public works guy >while in the store the public works guy buys pays for my soda >thank him and leave >finish walk home with a grin on my face today was a good day anons due to those two middle-aged chads
File: E2wKFFBXMAYKIlİR.jpg (27 KB, 425x391) How was your day anons? Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)11:33:54 No.67265378 [Reply] >be me >a few hours ago >walking home from school when a construction worker compliments my hat >be in good mood after that > while walking stop at local convenience store and hold the door open for a public works guy >while in the store the public works guy buys pays for my soda >thank him and leave >finish walk home with a grin on my face today was a good day anons due to those two middle-aged chads

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Anon could not care less | /r/Greentext

>Bullied by jock a------ in highschool >He was 6'4, 9/10 aesthetics, great shape >Captain of the basketball team >Slept with all the girls 31 KB JPG >Also had 4.0+ and got a 33 on his ACT >He was better than me in every way, I had nothing over him and he knew it >He went to Yale after highschool >l was bored and was looking at Normiebook on my phone >MFW he has a brain tumor that is "probably inoperable" I literally jumped for joy in the middle of cold stone, people glared at me but for the first time I could not care less. I'll never bang a 10/10 like he did but l'll be fapping and playing vidya when he's in the f------ dirt
>Bullied by jock a------ in highschool >He was 6'4, 9/10 aesthetics, great shape >Captain of the basketball team >Slept with all the girls 31 KB JPG >Also had 4.0+ and got a 33 on his ACT >He was better than me in every way, I had nothing over him and he knew it >He went to Yale after highschool >l was bored and was looking at Normiebook on my phone >MFW he has a brain tumor that is "probably inoperable" I literally jumped for joy in the middle of cold stone, people glared at me but for the first time I could not care less. I'll never bang a 10/10 like he did but l'll be fapping and playing vidya when he's in the f------ dirt

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Anon failed his prank | /r/Greentext

ok >be me >third grade >doing standardized testing >nothing to do when done, kids put their heads down >autist idea >l pretended to sleep >test ends, people putting away supplies and stuff >still pretend to sleep >hear whispers like "is he asleep?" "Someone wake him up" >teachers voice says "someone wake up anon" >random guy touches my shoulder >l make a loud noise in an attempt to scare him >he doesn't get scared, just stares >everyone just stares for a second, no one laughs at my prank
ok >be me >third grade >doing standardized testing >nothing to do when done, kids put their heads down >autist idea >l pretended to sleep >test ends, people putting away supplies and stuff >still pretend to sleep >hear whispers like "is he asleep?" "Someone wake him up" >teachers voice says "someone wake up anon" >random guy touches my shoulder >l make a loud noise in an attempt to scare him >he doesn't get scared, just stares >everyone just stares for a second, no one laughs at my prank

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Anon has a face | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/22(Wed)14:41:30 No.163274334 >>163274127 (OP) # >be me >have face >react to situations around me >mfw
: Anonymous 02/02/22(Wed)14:41:30 No.163274334 >>163274127 (OP) # >be me >have face >react to situations around me >mfw

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