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Anon thinks Rick is cool. | /r/Greentext

27m (2/1 21:51) · 871852016 7 Re · 0 Img · JPG 6KB · (150 × 195) 3 Replies >Be 15 yo me >2017 >Start watching Rick and Morty >Think Rick is a cool character >Start acting like him at school >Girl that I liked tells me she likes me, instantly reject her because I thought rejecting my possibly future wife made me look cool >Start shittalking people and burping because I think it makes me look cool >People stop talking to me >I end up with no friends >I don't care because I'm too cool for them >ff 2022 >Everytime I think of this I scream in agony
27m (2/1 21:51) · 871852016 7 Re · 0 Img · JPG 6KB · (150 × 195) 3 Replies >Be 15 yo me >2017 >Start watching Rick and Morty >Think Rick is a cool character >Start acting like him at school >Girl that I liked tells me she likes me, instantly reject her because I thought rejecting my possibly future wife made me look cool >Start shittalking people and burping because I think it makes me look cool >People stop talking to me >I end up with no friends >I don't care because I'm too cool for them >ff 2022 >Everytime I think of this I scream in agony

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Anon gets free fish | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:25:35 No.849599313 >Dad left when I was 12yo >l'm now 36yo >Calls me every 3 months or so to ask if I want fish >lf I say yes he drops by and gives me a frozen fish I think my dad has autism. | 13 KB JPG
E Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:25:35 No.849599313 >Dad left when I was 12yo >l'm now 36yo >Calls me every 3 months or so to ask if I want fish >lf I say yes he drops by and gives me a frozen fish I think my dad has autism. | 13 KB JPG

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Anon Is Romanian | /r/Greentext

File: 1643254911691.jpg (98 KB, 1080x1080) Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)10:51:32 No.12788822 >>12789503 >>12789627 >>12789644 >>12789656 >>12790451 >>12790541 >>12790672 >>12790726 >want to be patriotic about my country >start reading national history >realize my country's history is embarassingly retarded Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)21:16:48 No.12790726 >>12788822 (OP) >start reading national history >realize my country's history is embarassingly retarded tfw Romanian
File: 1643254911691.jpg (98 KB, 1080x1080) Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)10:51:32 No.12788822 >>12789503 >>12789627 >>12789644 >>12789656 >>12790451 >>12790541 >>12790672 >>12790726 >want to be patriotic about my country >start reading national history >realize my country's history is embarassingly retarded Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)21:16:48 No.12790726 >>12788822 (OP) >start reading national history >realize my country's history is embarassingly retarded tfw Romanian

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lmao alachol | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room
> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room

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Anon have a wholesome friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)11:28:07 No.24274420 >best friend broke up with his girlfriend after she started acting transphobic towards me >told me he doesn't want to be with someone with hurts his friends and that I'm important to him 251 KB JPG Ugh...how am I not supposed to fall in love? This is cheating...
: Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)11:28:07 No.24274420 >best friend broke up with his girlfriend after she started acting transphobic towards me >told me he doesn't want to be with someone with hurts his friends and that I'm important to him 251 KB JPG Ugh...how am I not supposed to fall in love? This is cheating...

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Anon is watching Star Wars. | /r/Greentext

File: IMG 0721 jpg (45 KB, 720x540) In Loving Memory of our Princess CARRIE FISHER O Anonymous 12/30/17(Šat)00:51:10 No.92385765 [Reply] 292387843 >watching The Last Jedi >movie ends >people slowly leaving the theater, as the credits roll >suddenly a scream >"JEDI ORDERI STAND UP FOR OUR GENERALI" >bunch of nerds raise lightsaber toys up in the air What the actual f---.
File: IMG 0721 jpg (45 KB, 720x540) In Loving Memory of our Princess CARRIE FISHER O Anonymous 12/30/17(Šat)00:51:10 No.92385765 [Reply] 292387843 >watching The Last Jedi >movie ends >people slowly leaving the theater, as the credits roll >suddenly a scream >"JEDI ORDERI STAND UP FOR OUR GENERALI" >bunch of nerds raise lightsaber toys up in the air What the actual f---.

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Anon is an expert in tomfoolery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)18:49:22 No.67247464 >get a call from random number >"Greetings, am I speaking to mister anon?" >"Yes" >"We would like to inform you about a new offer for your mobile plan" etc etc >wait until they finish 16 KB JPG >"I'm sorry I couldn't quite hear you" >they are forced to repeat it >do this for about 4 times >finally say "Sorry, I am not interested." >hang up
Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)18:49:22 No.67247464 >get a call from random number >"Greetings, am I speaking to mister anon?" >"Yes" >"We would like to inform you about a new offer for your mobile plan" etc etc >wait until they finish 16 KB JPG >"I'm sorry I couldn't quite hear you" >they are forced to repeat it >do this for about 4 times >finally say "Sorry, I am not interested." >hang up

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Anon feels a little gassy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)15:18:21 No.871844014 >be me >uber driver >was driving in the detroit area this morning >feel a lil gassy but ok >pick up some dude named mike >stomach churns Okay first of all: I'm way better at games than you. 2:I have a girlfriend right now and she's really sexy and she said you're ugly. 3: I'm wasaay better at memes than you. 66 KB JPG >oh boy i dont have a good feelibg about this >mike says he forgot his house keys >"Oh cool mike haha thats crazy HURRY UP I GOTTA S---" >stomach churns again >i am driving mike to his destinatiob >my stomach is a drunken bar brawl between the grapes and cheetos i ate for din din last night >i let out a fart and it smells like the second coming of satan >mike can definitely smell it >i am wondering if i will be able to hold it in >i drop off this pos at his work >i knew it was time to find a bathroom but where? >it was 5am. Everywhere was closed >i am driving around in a panic while a hot runny dump is barely being held back by my a------ >i spot some trees behind a home depot >i take the most ongodly s--- of my life in these trees >wipe my ass with four n-95 face masks 42.4844786, -83.0087035 My poop is at those coordinates
: Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)15:18:21 No.871844014 >be me >uber driver >was driving in the detroit area this morning >feel a lil gassy but ok >pick up some dude named mike >stomach churns Okay first of all: I'm way better at games than you. 2:I have a girlfriend right now and she's really sexy and she said you're ugly. 3: I'm wasaay better at memes than you. 66 KB JPG >oh boy i dont have a good feelibg about this >mike says he forgot his house keys >"Oh cool mike haha thats crazy HURRY UP I GOTTA S---" >stomach churns again >i am driving mike to his destinatiob >my stomach is a drunken bar brawl between the grapes and cheetos i ate for din din last night >i let out a fart and it smells like the second coming of satan >mike can definitely smell it >i am wondering if i will be able to hold it in >i drop off this pos at his work >i knew it was time to find a bathroom but where? >it was 5am. Everywhere was closed >i am driving around in a panic while a hot runny dump is barely being held back by my a------ >i spot some trees behind a home depot >i take the most ongodly s--- of my life in these trees >wipe my ass with four n-95 face masks 42.4844786, -83.0087035 My poop is at those coordinates

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Anon gets mad at Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)11:49:44 No.783303543 >be me >go on Reddit >check out the 4chan related subs >they're okay but lots of annoying normies trying to pretend to be neet >go to r/greentext 98 KB PNG >see some mod stickied his comment advertising the twitter account he made >call him a f-- >get banned Jesus these redditors are major p------
: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)11:49:44 No.783303543 >be me >go on Reddit >check out the 4chan related subs >they're okay but lots of annoying normies trying to pretend to be neet >go to r/greentext 98 KB PNG >see some mod stickied his comment advertising the twitter account he made >call him a f-- >get banned Jesus these redditors are major p------

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Anon likes fat girls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)22:19:00 No.66508853 >be me >23 >never had a gf before >decide to put into plan a basic idea I had years ago >only go after fat girls >spend a lot of time looking at very 48 KB JPG good looking women online who used to be fat >can now tell easily whether a fat woman would be very attractive if she lost the weight >fat girls are easier to date, they're most of my tinder matches, they're the ones who react the most positively to cold approaching >find a literal 10/10 a---- goddess but she's tall and fat, looks like s--- but you can tell there's potential under all that fat >ask her out and she says yes, very enthusiastic about it, have very pleasant date >lose my virginity to her, she was also a virgin (something i found to be very common among fat girls compared to other girls) >talk her into starting to go to the gym with me, first phase >then talk her into changing her diet, second phase >in a few months she loses most of the weight >now i have an extremely loyal and loving 10/10 gf who I'm probably going to marry >mfw i beat the game my stats aren't that bad and I'm definitely not Tbf Chad material.
: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)22:19:00 No.66508853 >be me >23 >never had a gf before >decide to put into plan a basic idea I had years ago >only go after fat girls >spend a lot of time looking at very 48 KB JPG good looking women online who used to be fat >can now tell easily whether a fat woman would be very attractive if she lost the weight >fat girls are easier to date, they're most of my tinder matches, they're the ones who react the most positively to cold approaching >find a literal 10/10 a---- goddess but she's tall and fat, looks like s--- but you can tell there's potential under all that fat >ask her out and she says yes, very enthusiastic about it, have very pleasant date >lose my virginity to her, she was also a virgin (something i found to be very common among fat girls compared to other girls) >talk her into starting to go to the gym with me, first phase >then talk her into changing her diet, second phase >in a few months she loses most of the weight >now i have an extremely loyal and loving 10/10 gf who I'm probably going to marry >mfw i beat the game my stats aren't that bad and I'm definitely not Tbf Chad material.

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Anon lies to his gf | /r/Greentext


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Anon works with teens | /r/Greentext


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Anon wants to quit before it’s even started | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/30/21(Thu)10:10:54 No.66776022 >19 >never had a friend >never been in a relationship >never kissed a girl >never had sex >cant drive 77 KB JPG >never had a real job Its too late for me. I cant fix myself 7 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 12/30/21(Thu)10:19:25 No.66776104 >>66776022 (OP) # You're 19 your life has just begun and youre already giving up. Have you tried not being a pathetic bitch? If not I hear it helps.
: Anonymous 12/30/21(Thu)10:10:54 No.66776022 >19 >never had a friend >never been in a relationship >never kissed a girl >never had sex >cant drive 77 KB JPG >never had a real job Its too late for me. I cant fix myself 7 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 12/30/21(Thu)10:19:25 No.66776104 >>66776022 (OP) # You're 19 your life has just begun and youre already giving up. Have you tried not being a pathetic bitch? If not I hear it helps.

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anon hates the fr*nch | /r/Greentext

1638153933089.jpg 86 KB JPG >see french name in-game >kill them only and nobody else even if it means losing
1638153933089.jpg 86 KB JPG >see french name in-game >kill them only and nobody else even if it means losing

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Hmmm i wonder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/18(Wed)19:48:39 No.49553714 >the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/28/18(Wed)19:48:39 No.49553714 >the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon gets his activity cucked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/27/17(Thu)11:49:09 No.29962622 29962632 >>29962658 >>29962668 2>29962675 >>29962679 >>29962730 >>29962824 >>29962627 >>29962630 >29963405 >>29964050 >29964058 >>29962548 Assholes like you have ruined the cuckolding fetish for guys like me. Now it's just a stupid joke. F--- you. O Anonymous 04/27/17(Thu)11:57: 13 No.29962675 >>29962710 >29962718 29962729 >>29962803 >>29962809 >>29962824 >>29962833 >>29962851 >>29962910 >29962930 >29963117 >29963387 29963405 29963426 >29964058 >29964091 File: 1304047 safe oc humanizel.) png (99 KB, 700x599) >29962622 It's almost like the thing you love has been f----- by another man.
Anonymous 04/27/17(Thu)11:49:09 No.29962622 29962632 >>29962658 >>29962668 2>29962675 >>29962679 >>29962730 >>29962824 >>29962627 >>29962630 >29963405 >>29964050 >29964058 >>29962548 Assholes like you have ruined the cuckolding fetish for guys like me. Now it's just a stupid joke. F--- you. O Anonymous 04/27/17(Thu)11:57: 13 No.29962675 >>29962710 >29962718 29962729 >>29962803 >>29962809 >>29962824 >>29962833 >>29962851 >>29962910 >29962930 >29963117 >29963387 29963405 29963426 >29964058 >29964091 File: 1304047 safe oc humanizel.) png (99 KB, 700x599) >29962622 It's almost like the thing you love has been f----- by another man.

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Anon larps as someone who gets pussy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)08:09:47 No.871819371 You WILL f--- the bag. Last month, I was going in on a one night stand with this reaally hot girl. Things we getting hot, I layed her on her bed, unzipped my fly, and right as I'm putting it in, she asks "Where's your condom?". Right then and there I instantly went flaccid, pulled up my pants, and walked the f--- out. Using a condom is not real sex. If you actually use a condom, you a f------ a bag and you don't have an ounce of dignity, and you may even be a pathetic cuckold. Shame on durex 113 KB JPG you for f------ a bag, and not a real p----. >but! safe sex safe sex! Pull out, have your woman tie her tubes, birth control, even early abortion. >inb4 STDS Don't be an unhealthy fat barrel of monkey spunk, and you should be fine. Don't be an idiot, either. >inb4 angery libtards, kys, idiot, autist, etc By telling me these things you are confirming your status as a cuck to me. Get off my thread If you refuse to f--- the BAG, you have my respect, anon. 27 Replies / 10 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)08:09:47 No.871819371 You WILL f--- the bag. Last month, I was going in on a one night stand with this reaally hot girl. Things we getting hot, I layed her on her bed, unzipped my fly, and right as I'm putting it in, she asks "Where's your condom?". Right then and there I instantly went flaccid, pulled up my pants, and walked the f--- out. Using a condom is not real sex. If you actually use a condom, you a f------ a bag and you don't have an ounce of dignity, and you may even be a pathetic cuckold. Shame on durex 113 KB JPG you for f------ a bag, and not a real p----. >but! safe sex safe sex! Pull out, have your woman tie her tubes, birth control, even early abortion. >inb4 STDS Don't be an unhealthy fat barrel of monkey spunk, and you should be fine. Don't be an idiot, either. >inb4 angery libtards, kys, idiot, autist, etc By telling me these things you are confirming your status as a cuck to me. Get off my thread If you refuse to f--- the BAG, you have my respect, anon. 27 Replies / 10 Images View Thread

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/25/18(Wed)15:31:06 No.775355811 File: 1322261238567.jpg (482 KB, 1200x1800) >>775353580 (OP) >girl friendzoned me >l stopped being her friend >no longer in the friendzone because we're not friends Now you know how to escape, you're welcome.
Anonymous 07/25/18(Wed)15:31:06 No.775355811 File: 1322261238567.jpg (482 KB, 1200x1800) >>775353580 (OP) >girl friendzoned me >l stopped being her friend >no longer in the friendzone because we're not friends Now you know how to escape, you're welcome.

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Anon's neighbour grows weed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45657137 1 perccel ezelőtt •.. Anon Does Drug Bust >Be me, 14 at the time >Lights constantly flickering and PC randomly turning off >Call up electricity company >They supposedly fix the problem >It still happens >Mum jokes that the neighbour is probably growing cannabis and is tapping into our electricity supply >Neighbour has a big shed >I decide to climb over his fence and take a look inside >somuchweed.png >I take pictures with my phone >Come back home and tell my mummy >I call 101 (Non-emergency line) >Woman thinks I'm lying >Next day the police smash down his door and take all his weed away 155,5 kB PNG >He goes to jail and his kid gets taken away That's what you get for messing with my Minecraft experience. REPLY
Anonymous | 45657137 1 perccel ezelőtt •.. Anon Does Drug Bust >Be me, 14 at the time >Lights constantly flickering and PC randomly turning off >Call up electricity company >They supposedly fix the problem >It still happens >Mum jokes that the neighbour is probably growing cannabis and is tapping into our electricity supply >Neighbour has a big shed >I decide to climb over his fence and take a look inside >somuchweed.png >I take pictures with my phone >Come back home and tell my mummy >I call 101 (Non-emergency line) >Woman thinks I'm lying >Next day the police smash down his door and take all his weed away 155,5 kB PNG >He goes to jail and his kid gets taken away That's what you get for messing with my Minecraft experience. REPLY

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Anon is stupid, very stupid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/20(Wed)09:58:52 No.57114027 >driving down the road >thinking about how thin the line between life and death is >I could literally just turn the steering wheel and die >or would I? >throw the wheel to the left and fly into 142 KB JPG the ditch >don't die >car stuck in ditch I feel so retarded it's almost empowering
: Anonymous 03/11/20(Wed)09:58:52 No.57114027 >driving down the road >thinking about how thin the line between life and death is >I could literally just turn the steering wheel and die >or would I? >throw the wheel to the left and fly into 142 KB JPG the ditch >don't die >car stuck in ditch I feel so retarded it's almost empowering

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