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Anon makes pillow talk | /r/Greentext

>Be me, 19 year old anon in college. >Meet cute girl in class. >We start to hang out >All the same interests, like all the same stuff >lt turns into flirting >We start making out in my dorm room, 8 KB PNG we are getting naked, fooling around >She says something that's supposed to be romantic about how it's like we were made for each other >l go full retard and say we are probably secret half siblings >She gets quiet, says what do you mean? >Like we secretly have the same dad, and that's why we are so perfect for each other >She gets real quiet and says she has to go >It's been two days >Did I make a mistake?
>Be me, 19 year old anon in college. >Meet cute girl in class. >We start to hang out >All the same interests, like all the same stuff >lt turns into flirting >We start making out in my dorm room, 8 KB PNG we are getting naked, fooling around >She says something that's supposed to be romantic about how it's like we were made for each other >l go full retard and say we are probably secret half siblings >She gets quiet, says what do you mean? >Like we secretly have the same dad, and that's why we are so perfect for each other >She gets real quiet and says she has to go >It's been two days >Did I make a mistake?

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Bussy addiction | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)10:22:21 No.67223459 >feel confident that i'm straight and all that f----- s--- in the past was just memes and p--- addiction >accidentally fap to bussy again damn it 31 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)10:22:21 No.67223459 >feel confident that i'm straight and all that f----- s--- in the past was just memes and p--- addiction >accidentally fap to bussy again damn it 31 KB JPG

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Anon takes the self improvement pill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: zrlaToSX ) Self improvement is a retarded(...) 01/31/22(Mon)09:32:27 No.359021086 >millenial >no friends no gf >decide to "self improve" >get a job, start doing sports, take up a hobby >stop p--- and fapping altogether >stop drinking 165 KB JPG >start going to church >start seeing a shrink >do this for three years >still feel unhappy, depressed, mentally ill (condition worsened) and worse than when I was 24/7 on my computer The truth is that if you are f----- in the head in some way or the other you are NOT gonna make it. No matter how much you try / LARP
: Anonymous (ID: zrlaToSX ) Self improvement is a retarded(...) 01/31/22(Mon)09:32:27 No.359021086 >millenial >no friends no gf >decide to "self improve" >get a job, start doing sports, take up a hobby >stop p--- and fapping altogether >stop drinking 165 KB JPG >start going to church >start seeing a shrink >do this for three years >still feel unhappy, depressed, mentally ill (condition worsened) and worse than when I was 24/7 on my computer The truth is that if you are f----- in the head in some way or the other you are NOT gonna make it. No matter how much you try / LARP

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Anon has priorities | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)15:00:41 No.67230845 >your pharmacist asks you out Holy f---, the same bitch who gives me my xanax and ssris asked me if I wanted to hang out this weekend. We've talked here and there 75 KB JPG whenever I had to go get my meds, and today she finally did it. She's this cute latina girl, is this even legal? Can I sue? : Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)15:06:00 No.67230909 >>67230845 (OP)# >gets asked out by cute girl >first thought is if he can get money out of it shalom brother! 166 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)15:00:41 No.67230845 >your pharmacist asks you out Holy f---, the same bitch who gives me my xanax and ssris asked me if I wanted to hang out this weekend. We've talked here and there 75 KB JPG whenever I had to go get my meds, and today she finally did it. She's this cute latina girl, is this even legal? Can I sue? : Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)15:06:00 No.67230909 >>67230845 (OP)# >gets asked out by cute girl >first thought is if he can get money out of it shalom brother! 166 KB JPG

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Anon learns about double standards | /r/Greentext

File: pepe-thinking-1024x1024.jpg (68 KB, 1024x1024) O Anonymous 01/30/22(Sun)17:01:47 No.67216726 >Post some memes on reddit >Make one about white people >Thousands of upvotes >Lots of comments and awards This is easy.avi >Make one about black people >Less than 100 upvotes >Get called rasict >Post removed Hmmm.. interesting. Very interesting.
File: pepe-thinking-1024x1024.jpg (68 KB, 1024x1024) O Anonymous 01/30/22(Sun)17:01:47 No.67216726 >Post some memes on reddit >Make one about white people >Thousands of upvotes >Lots of comments and awards This is easy.avi >Make one about black people >Less than 100 upvotes >Get called rasict >Post removed Hmmm.. interesting. Very interesting.

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Anon uses 4chan as a crystal ball | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6u9FyWtp ) 11/12/21(Fri)11:33:45 No.43185746 >>43181308 # It's the 4chan advice effect. I could write an entire theory of it, but basically when you have anonymous s-------- arguing with each other for epeen, they eventually converge on literally the best possible advice for any given subject. I basically outsource almost all my life decision research to 4chan and then A|B test it in a few threads. Fitness, car buying, vidya, anime, building a computer, making money, learning Japanese: you name it and if you need to do something in real life some autist on 4chan has made an 226 KB PNG idiotproof infographic about it to get you the absolute most optimal solution to your problem, and he did that simply to win an argument online. >>43185896 # >>43186796 # >>43187010 # >>43190805 # >>43191675 #
: Anonymous (ID: 6u9FyWtp ) 11/12/21(Fri)11:33:45 No.43185746 >>43181308 # It's the 4chan advice effect. I could write an entire theory of it, but basically when you have anonymous s-------- arguing with each other for epeen, they eventually converge on literally the best possible advice for any given subject. I basically outsource almost all my life decision research to 4chan and then A|B test it in a few threads. Fitness, car buying, vidya, anime, building a computer, making money, learning Japanese: you name it and if you need to do something in real life some autist on 4chan has made an 226 KB PNG idiotproof infographic about it to get you the absolute most optimal solution to your problem, and he did that simply to win an argument online. >>43185896 # >>43186796 # >>43187010 # >>43190805 # >>43191675 #

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Anon plays dungeons and dragons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)10:16:37 No.871778214 >be lonely homeschooler in high school >watch anime to pretend i have frens >finish school, get warehouse job >meet some people there >we start playing dungeons and 137 KB PNG dragons >dont really like the game just fun to hang out with рeople >first time playing since before christmas >forgot everything except my dice tray and spell| cards >fuckssake.jpeg >one guy gives me a set of dice to use and keep >dm copied some of my character stats >another guy gives me a new sheet to write them on >they all help me guesstimate hit points and inventory etc >mfw "we need our cleric!" >mfw finally have frens
: Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)10:16:37 No.871778214 >be lonely homeschooler in high school >watch anime to pretend i have frens >finish school, get warehouse job >meet some people there >we start playing dungeons and 137 KB PNG dragons >dont really like the game just fun to hang out with рeople >first time playing since before christmas >forgot everything except my dice tray and spell| cards >fuckssake.jpeg >one guy gives me a set of dice to use and keep >dm copied some of my character stats >another guy gives me a new sheet to write them on >they all help me guesstimate hit points and inventory etc >mfw "we need our cleric!" >mfw finally have frens

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She a copper. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 No.515425318 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's an undercover cop > how f------ cool is that for someone her age
Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 No.515425318 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's an undercover cop > how f------ cool is that for someone her age

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The cruel world of little people acting, seen by Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)15:43:23 No.162922339 >Claims Snow White is offensive novie >Refuses to elaborate VIE >Puts seven of his fellow dwarf actors out of the job Bravo, Dinklage 1.94 MB JPG : Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)15:44:00 No.162922354 >>162922339(OP) # Once you climb up, kick the ladder. Classic move. >>162922465 #
: Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)15:43:23 No.162922339 >Claims Snow White is offensive novie >Refuses to elaborate VIE >Puts seven of his fellow dwarf actors out of the job Bravo, Dinklage 1.94 MB JPG : Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)15:44:00 No.162922354 >>162922339(OP) # Once you climb up, kick the ladder. Classic move. >>162922465 #

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Anon gets Promoted | /r/Greentext

File : 1281818897ipg-(33 KB, 305x350) Anonymous 08/14/10(Sat)16:48:17 No.263801XXX [Reply] Dear /b/, I got promoted! Anonymous 08/14/10(Sat)16:48:43 No.263801XXX level 2 slave
File : 1281818897ipg-(33 KB, 305x350) Anonymous 08/14/10(Sat)16:48:17 No.263801XXX [Reply] Dear /b/, I got promoted! Anonymous 08/14/10(Sat)16:48:43 No.263801XXX level 2 slave

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NOO, NOT THE TIPPERINO! | /r/Greentext


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Sigma male | /r/Greentext

SEEILMRIH 62E4F734-0798-4196-961F-A52FD18283A1.png 63 KB PNG >go to public bathroom >see occupied stall >start shaking the door relentlessly
SEEILMRIH 62E4F734-0798-4196-961F-A52FD18283A1.png 63 KB PNG >go to public bathroom >see occupied stall >start shaking the door relentlessly

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Anon confirms his hypothesis | /r/Greentext


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Anon tries his hand in geopolitics. | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets Cockblocked | /r/Greentext

File: 1386105255853 jpg-(18 KB. 300x300. tSrfb2A jpg) Anonymous 12/03/13(Tue)15: 14:15 UTC-6 No. 519 So /bl, this is the first time Ive shared this story >be me >be 18 >at a house party >girl is talking to me >we're wasted >time to go to the love station >says she wants to wait until morning >so she can "remember it" >wake up in the morning next to her >she's already awake watching the news or some s--- >start making out >put my hand in her panties >she's moaning >says "what the f---" in a terrified voice >"holy f--- my dad works there" >immediately gets up and pulls out her cell phone >look at TV just in time >mother >f------ >9/11 >second plane crashes into tower >she starts balling uncontrollably That's my story of how I got cockblocked by m------------ al qaeda
File: 1386105255853 jpg-(18 KB. 300x300. tSrfb2A jpg) Anonymous 12/03/13(Tue)15: 14:15 UTC-6 No. 519 So /bl, this is the first time Ive shared this story >be me >be 18 >at a house party >girl is talking to me >we're wasted >time to go to the love station >says she wants to wait until morning >so she can "remember it" >wake up in the morning next to her >she's already awake watching the news or some s--- >start making out >put my hand in her panties >she's moaning >says "what the f---" in a terrified voice >"holy f--- my dad works there" >immediately gets up and pulls out her cell phone >look at TV just in time >mother >f------ >9/11 >second plane crashes into tower >she starts balling uncontrollably That's my story of how I got cockblocked by m------------ al qaeda

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Anon is mentally challenged | /r/Greentext

>be me >at school this morning >girl that likes me comes up to me >l was sleeping with my head on the desk >she whispers "wakey wakey" >l woke up, she asks me what was I dreaming about >"U-uhhh about f------ you really hard" >she gives me the most terrified look >a lotta people heard me >no one talked to me for the rest of the day >saw thots look at me and whisper to eachother I f----- my life harder than I wanted to f--- that girl in my dream :|
>be me >at school this morning >girl that likes me comes up to me >l was sleeping with my head on the desk >she whispers "wakey wakey" >l woke up, she asks me what was I dreaming about >"U-uhhh about f------ you really hard" >she gives me the most terrified look >a lotta people heard me >no one talked to me for the rest of the day >saw thots look at me and whisper to eachother I f----- my life harder than I wanted to f--- that girl in my dream :|

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Anon is a pirate | /r/Greentext


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Anon finds odd friends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:34 No.14058910 >walking home from a party late one evening >several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >catch me in some random student neighbourhood >oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >still in talking phase >lights flick on in a house >three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!" >all three of them draw rapiers on their belts >guys run >"I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >stagger home completely drunk with a hat I had no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.
Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:34 No.14058910 >walking home from a party late one evening >several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >catch me in some random student neighbourhood >oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >still in talking phase >lights flick on in a house >three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!" >all three of them draw rapiers on their belts >guys run >"I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >stagger home completely drunk with a hat I had no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.

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Anon on 9/11 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous KND+7J6×|358870851 45 min fa •.. >omg so sad ;( >anyways let's go to iraq How did the general public eat this up? 50,8 kB JPG
Anonymous KND+7J6×|358870851 45 min fa •.. >omg so sad ;( >anyways let's go to iraq How did the general public eat this up? 50,8 kB JPG

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Anon forgot to take his meds | /r/Greentext

nymous 08/08/21(Sun)15:51:08 No.860 >get in >door closes >??????????????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this
nymous 08/08/21(Sun)15:51:08 No.860 >get in >door closes >??????????????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this

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