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Anon gets off work. | /r/Greentext


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Anon tried to see what he was made of | /r/Greentext

cavinglelno.jpg 44 KB JPG >MRI scan in old school narrow tube >'anon it's probably best to keep your eyes gently closed' >heh I wonder what it looks like in here >open eyes >instant full body panic attack starting with a rush from my feet to my brain nervous system is on fire >hyperventilating, reach for bail out button but don't hit it >sweat it out for twenty minutes with my eyes screwed shut >now have claustophobic anxiety attacks in anything smaller than a lift yeah f--- caving
cavinglelno.jpg 44 KB JPG >MRI scan in old school narrow tube >'anon it's probably best to keep your eyes gently closed' >heh I wonder what it looks like in here >open eyes >instant full body panic attack starting with a rush from my feet to my brain nervous system is on fire >hyperventilating, reach for bail out button but don't hit it >sweat it out for twenty minutes with my eyes screwed shut >now have claustophobic anxiety attacks in anything smaller than a lift yeah f--- caving

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Anon shows off his muscles | /r/Greentext

>on construction site working >hot as f--- aussie summer heat >dyel skinny owner of house is walking around shirtless. >Imao >go to my truck on the ladder rack, do some chinups, get a good 16 KB JPG pump >go back inside > say"man it sure is hot isnt it?" To the owner >take off my shirt. Lean and 2x as big as owner >spend rest of day shirtless : Anonymous 11/19/19(Tue)23:25:30 No.53260980 >>53260968 (OP) # >slave has more muscle than its owner Cool
>on construction site working >hot as f--- aussie summer heat >dyel skinny owner of house is walking around shirtless. >Imao >go to my truck on the ladder rack, do some chinups, get a good 16 KB JPG pump >go back inside > say"man it sure is hot isnt it?" To the owner >take off my shirt. Lean and 2x as big as owner >spend rest of day shirtless : Anonymous 11/19/19(Tue)23:25:30 No.53260980 >>53260968 (OP) # >slave has more muscle than its owner Cool

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Anon is an eurotard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/28/21(Mon)14:52:01 No.857854052 >highest number of prisoners PER CAPITA >highest violent crime rate in the western world >highest number of mass shootings of any developed country 140 KB JPG >no universal healthcare >super high tuition, high student loan debt >richest corporations pay exactly $0 in taxes >2 party political system that produces nothing >staggering amounts of homelessness >has been at war every decade >opioid and prescription pill addicted youth Be sure to celebrate it all on July 4th.
: Anonymous 06/28/21(Mon)14:52:01 No.857854052 >highest number of prisoners PER CAPITA >highest violent crime rate in the western world >highest number of mass shootings of any developed country 140 KB JPG >no universal healthcare >super high tuition, high student loan debt >richest corporations pay exactly $0 in taxes >2 party political system that produces nothing >staggering amounts of homelessness >has been at war every decade >opioid and prescription pill addicted youth Be sure to celebrate it all on July 4th.

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Anon's life gets turned upside down Pt 2 | /r/Greentext

Following up because I heard from someone that one of you bastards took a screenshot of my wife leaving and trying to get full custody of our son. 37 KB JPG QRD - wife had cancer. I worked three jobs. She cheated on me and then filed for divorce and also filed to gain full custody of our kid. >I hired an attorney who immediately told me her infidelity doesn't matter in a no fault state. >l was ordered to unfreeze bank accounts because her name was also on them. She withdrew nearly $62,000 in two weeks. >She has our son and is staying with her mom but also with her new boyfriend. >Attorney is trying to prepare me for the worst. Female judge in our county and he said the chances of me getting anything better than seeing my son every other weekend is "around zero percent, Anon." >I cry a lot mostly because people ask me what happened. >My mother calls me daily only to tell me about pictures and videos my soon to be ex-wife posts on her social media "Story". I have asked my mom to please stop. >Back down to working my main job. >Attorneys want me to pay child support and to also provide alimony payments due to my wife and I being together for so long (15 total years of living together, 9 years of marriage). >Budget the best I can but will go broke by late this II year. I cannot miss my son's first day of school. His first t- ball game. Doctors appointments. What if he is crying for me? I need him to know I am going to fight with all I have. Life is pretty f----- up right now. I just keep going for my son.
Following up because I heard from someone that one of you bastards took a screenshot of my wife leaving and trying to get full custody of our son. 37 KB JPG QRD - wife had cancer. I worked three jobs. She cheated on me and then filed for divorce and also filed to gain full custody of our kid. >I hired an attorney who immediately told me her infidelity doesn't matter in a no fault state. >l was ordered to unfreeze bank accounts because her name was also on them. She withdrew nearly $62,000 in two weeks. >She has our son and is staying with her mom but also with her new boyfriend. >Attorney is trying to prepare me for the worst. Female judge in our county and he said the chances of me getting anything better than seeing my son every other weekend is "around zero percent, Anon." >I cry a lot mostly because people ask me what happened. >My mother calls me daily only to tell me about pictures and videos my soon to be ex-wife posts on her social media "Story". I have asked my mom to please stop. >Back down to working my main job. >Attorneys want me to pay child support and to also provide alimony payments due to my wife and I being together for so long (15 total years of living together, 9 years of marriage). >Budget the best I can but will go broke by late this II year. I cannot miss my son's first day of school. His first t- ball game. Doctors appointments. What if he is crying for me? I need him to know I am going to fight with all I have. Life is pretty f----- up right now. I just keep going for my son.

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Anon keeps living to spite the world. | /r/Greentext

Because I'm not going to give the world or ex girlfriend's the satisfaction of seeing me die. My most recent ex was a bitch who couldn't properly communicate. >she begged me to take her to the gym one weekend >ask what she would like to work on "Cardio. Me and some girls from work are going to run a 10K next month." >tell her that sounds good and that I will be working core >go the aerobics room and start some yoga stretches Cobra stretching when I see her walk in >she tells me she's ready to go >say okay and go put on my Hoodia >she's waiting for me at the door with her arms folded >walk out to car and ask her what's wrong >she's quiet on the way home "Anon I'm going to my sister's house" >she texts me and says she is breaking up with me because I was stretching in front of other girls dafuq.png >tell her okay and then don't message her >she messages me three days later and says I'm an a------ for ignoring her >she tells me she hopes I die Together for two years. Walked away in a second because she couldn't keep the facade up any longer and let her crazy come out. Joke is on her. More time for me to do s--- I want to do.
Because I'm not going to give the world or ex girlfriend's the satisfaction of seeing me die. My most recent ex was a bitch who couldn't properly communicate. >she begged me to take her to the gym one weekend >ask what she would like to work on "Cardio. Me and some girls from work are going to run a 10K next month." >tell her that sounds good and that I will be working core >go the aerobics room and start some yoga stretches Cobra stretching when I see her walk in >she tells me she's ready to go >say okay and go put on my Hoodia >she's waiting for me at the door with her arms folded >walk out to car and ask her what's wrong >she's quiet on the way home "Anon I'm going to my sister's house" >she texts me and says she is breaking up with me because I was stretching in front of other girls dafuq.png >tell her okay and then don't message her >she messages me three days later and says I'm an a------ for ignoring her >she tells me she hopes I die Together for two years. Walked away in a second because she couldn't keep the facade up any longer and let her crazy come out. Joke is on her. More time for me to do s--- I want to do.

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Anon has a girlfriend. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/16/18(Wed)23:00:26 No.45437258 >>45437292 >>45437306 >get gf >among serious issues is mild insomnia >cant fall asleep, too many troubles >first night over, she gets panic attack >barely able to calm her down >tons of arbritary rules to fall asleep >get to know her better, build trust >leam to calm her down regularly >"you have such a calming presence, anon." >cuddle with her for hours >she finally learns to relax and let go >always comes over for cuddles, always falls asleep right away >gradually no rules needed anymore >just a bit of petting and she sleeps >people start commenting how she looks much healthier >the rings under her eyes slowly vanish >instead of sleep being stressful, its now relaxing, she looks foward to it >always make sure to tell her that i love before she falls asleep, so she doesnt worry about that >sometimes she comes over just to sleep >gradually she leams to sleep alone at home as well >"thanks for teaching me to sleep, anon." i still audibly tell her 'good night, i love you' every night. even though she now isnt there anymore to hear it. i hope she sleeps well.
Anonymous 05/16/18(Wed)23:00:26 No.45437258 >>45437292 >>45437306 >get gf >among serious issues is mild insomnia >cant fall asleep, too many troubles >first night over, she gets panic attack >barely able to calm her down >tons of arbritary rules to fall asleep >get to know her better, build trust >leam to calm her down regularly >"you have such a calming presence, anon." >cuddle with her for hours >she finally learns to relax and let go >always comes over for cuddles, always falls asleep right away >gradually no rules needed anymore >just a bit of petting and she sleeps >people start commenting how she looks much healthier >the rings under her eyes slowly vanish >instead of sleep being stressful, its now relaxing, she looks foward to it >always make sure to tell her that i love before she falls asleep, so she doesnt worry about that >sometimes she comes over just to sleep >gradually she leams to sleep alone at home as well >"thanks for teaching me to sleep, anon." i still audibly tell her 'good night, i love you' every night. even though she now isnt there anymore to hear it. i hope she sleeps well.

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Anon plays Hotline Miami | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/22(Sun)14:52:34 No.871697398 >Walk outside at night >Van pulls up next to me >Furries with baseball bats step out >What the f---? >They scream that im prey and run after me >Oh f--- 17 KB JPG >Out run them easily, their fat f---- >Look behind my back >Some dude with a shotgun steps out, not in fursuit >l'm gonna die >Sees me >"H-------- THATS A DEMON!" >Points gun >F------ run away like im usian bolt >Shoots but misses >Run back to my appartment >What the f--- just happend!? : Anonymous 01/30/22(Sun)14:59:12 No.871697638 I also enjoyed Hotline Miami 2
: Anonymous 01/30/22(Sun)14:52:34 No.871697398 >Walk outside at night >Van pulls up next to me >Furries with baseball bats step out >What the f---? >They scream that im prey and run after me >Oh f--- 17 KB JPG >Out run them easily, their fat f---- >Look behind my back >Some dude with a shotgun steps out, not in fursuit >l'm gonna die >Sees me >"H-------- THATS A DEMON!" >Points gun >F------ run away like im usian bolt >Shoots but misses >Run back to my appartment >What the f--- just happend!? : Anonymous 01/30/22(Sun)14:59:12 No.871697638 I also enjoyed Hotline Miami 2

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Anon has a bad time at self checkout | /r/Greentext


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Learn from other's mistakes not yours... | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to Walmart | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates gf | /r/Greentext

>be me >be 15 >be poor >my dad works all the time >l'm always asking for him to buy me a pc 39 KB JPG >my birthday comes by >l get nothing >Christmas comes by >l get nothing >my birthday was coming up >figured I wasn't going to get anything again >two weeks before my birthday >my dad gets into a car crash >dies >were going through his things >see a box in the closet marked "anon" >l open it up >it's a box full of computer parts >the only thing missing was a graphics card >turns out he was saving up money for a year to buy me this >his funeral goes by >l decide to put it all together >talk to a tech friend of mine >use that pc for 5 years >only ever get more ram >I kept it as it was for five years >today my girlfriend comes over >we get in a fight >she throws my pc on to the ground >l threw her out >l didn't realize my attachment to that pc until it didn't boot up >mfw my girlfriend destroyed my only connection to my dad >mfw it didn't boot
>be me >be 15 >be poor >my dad works all the time >l'm always asking for him to buy me a pc 39 KB JPG >my birthday comes by >l get nothing >Christmas comes by >l get nothing >my birthday was coming up >figured I wasn't going to get anything again >two weeks before my birthday >my dad gets into a car crash >dies >were going through his things >see a box in the closet marked "anon" >l open it up >it's a box full of computer parts >the only thing missing was a graphics card >turns out he was saving up money for a year to buy me this >his funeral goes by >l decide to put it all together >talk to a tech friend of mine >use that pc for 5 years >only ever get more ram >I kept it as it was for five years >today my girlfriend comes over >we get in a fight >she throws my pc on to the ground >l threw her out >l didn't realize my attachment to that pc until it didn't boot up >mfw my girlfriend destroyed my only connection to my dad >mfw it didn't boot

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Anon gets an idea | /r/Greentext

ok, let's come up with a target market together. Who has lots of money? >Arabs What do Arabs want? Heron AKA Trouble Man (always in trouble man) The T 1392468159761.jpg-(235 KB, 500x739, GATORADE. FU >>25798 virgins 16 what has a lot of virgins 4chan BOOM
ok, let's come up with a target market together. Who has lots of money? >Arabs What do Arabs want? Heron AKA Trouble Man (always in trouble man) The T 1392468159761.jpg-(235 KB, 500x739, GATORADE. FU >>25798 virgins 16 what has a lot of virgins 4chan BOOM

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Anon kills his mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get | stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get | stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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Greedy Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)22:12:20 No.48832863 >Got into a big fight tonight over soda at a family birthday party >cousin said to get Pepsi, I got RC instead cheaper and tastes similar imo >bring soda in, hear a passive aggressive comment about it >everyone starts drinking, subject goes back to that he asks if I need gas money for the ride back 85 KB PNG home, implying i cant afford it >things get physical we are restrained. I just leave. Was I in the wrong? 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)22:31:42 No.48833213 >getting into a psychical altercation over a goddamn soda F------ Americans, I swear...
: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)22:12:20 No.48832863 >Got into a big fight tonight over soda at a family birthday party >cousin said to get Pepsi, I got RC instead cheaper and tastes similar imo >bring soda in, hear a passive aggressive comment about it >everyone starts drinking, subject goes back to that he asks if I need gas money for the ride back 85 KB PNG home, implying i cant afford it >things get physical we are restrained. I just leave. Was I in the wrong? 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)22:31:42 No.48833213 >getting into a psychical altercation over a goddamn soda F------ Americans, I swear...

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Anon uncovers the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/22(Sun)21:12:11 No.871689869 >YES HUMANS ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS ON THEIR OWN FROM SCRATCH. >WELL MAYBE ACTUALLY 15 PEOPLE ON EARTH 130 KB JPG >NO YOU CAN'T MEET THEM NOR KNOW THEIR NAMES >"TSMC" FACTORY LOCATED IN "TAIWAN" MAKES 98% OF ALL CHIPS IN THE WORLD, FROM CARS, AIRPLANES OR FRIDGES >NO YOU CAN'T GO TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE FACTORY BECAUSE..YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY >TAIWAN DOES EXIST, JUST LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW OKAY totally not aliens btw 15 Replies / 6 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/30/22(Sun)21:12:11 No.871689869 >YES HUMANS ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS ON THEIR OWN FROM SCRATCH. >WELL MAYBE ACTUALLY 15 PEOPLE ON EARTH 130 KB JPG >NO YOU CAN'T MEET THEM NOR KNOW THEIR NAMES >"TSMC" FACTORY LOCATED IN "TAIWAN" MAKES 98% OF ALL CHIPS IN THE WORLD, FROM CARS, AIRPLANES OR FRIDGES >NO YOU CAN'T GO TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE FACTORY BECAUSE..YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY >TAIWAN DOES EXIST, JUST LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW OKAY totally not aliens btw 15 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Op is sad :( | /r/Greentext

I cried today. >10am >wake up because the telly in the kitchen is really loud >ask mum if she can turn it 90 KB JPG down a bit >she looks at me like she can't believe what I just said >she turns it down a tiny bit, not enough to make a difference >ask if she can turn it down a bit more >she slams the remote down, walks up to the telly and just turns it off >comes up to me and starts yelling, shouting about how unbelievably selfish I am >completely confused as to why she's so angry >go back to bed and pretend the lady down the road is my mother instead >cry she hates it so much when I ask her to turn the telly down, I don't understand why. I try to ask politely too. Nobody else in my family cares when I ask, just her.
I cried today. >10am >wake up because the telly in the kitchen is really loud >ask mum if she can turn it 90 KB JPG down a bit >she looks at me like she can't believe what I just said >she turns it down a tiny bit, not enough to make a difference >ask if she can turn it down a bit more >she slams the remote down, walks up to the telly and just turns it off >comes up to me and starts yelling, shouting about how unbelievably selfish I am >completely confused as to why she's so angry >go back to bed and pretend the lady down the road is my mother instead >cry she hates it so much when I ask her to turn the telly down, I don't understand why. I try to ask politely too. Nobody else in my family cares when I ask, just her.

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Anon enjoys a hot pocket | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)22:57:28 No.871679058 >eating hot pocket In the shower to save time > take big bite >bottom of hot pocket explodes out >mfw my c--- is now searing from a sniper shot of scalding pepperoni onto my hoo-haw 123 KB PNG
: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)22:57:28 No.871679058 >eating hot pocket In the shower to save time > take big bite >bottom of hot pocket explodes out >mfw my c--- is now searing from a sniper shot of scalding pepperoni onto my hoo-haw 123 KB PNG

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Put on Netflix anon | /r/Greentext

File: 1586857366733.jpg (82 KB, 872x867) Anonymous 09/15/20(Tue)01:51:08 No.130540921 >>130540967 >>130541085 >>130541365 >>130541402 >ask him to put on Netflix >he glances at me and starts fumbling with some weird cable on his TV and laptop >we sit there while he does something on his laptop with trembling finger >he mumbles something about some "torrents"
File: 1586857366733.jpg (82 KB, 872x867) Anonymous 09/15/20(Tue)01:51:08 No.130540921 >>130540967 >>130541085 >>130541365 >>130541402 >ask him to put on Netflix >he glances at me and starts fumbling with some weird cable on his TV and laptop >we sit there while he does something on his laptop with trembling finger >he mumbles something about some "torrents"

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Anon gets trolled. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous - 01/26/22(Wed) 18:18:51 No.67163941 >be me >playing cs >competitive match >dust2 >team full of apes cuz east eur >3 of them constantly yelling into their mic so I mute em >score is 0-10 30 KB JPG >no drive to even play >just rushing mid to die faster >get a friend request from the silent teammate >ассеpt >sends me a message saying that if we win im gonna get nudes >ask what sex is he/she >says its a secret >obviously a troll >get a sudden urge to c-- so I agree anyway >I start tryharding >score goes from 0-10 to 5-10 >switching to T >im top fragging >ffw few rounds >we win >get another message from the troll with a discord ID >add it and call the troll >joins and says here its your reward in a girl voice >activates camera >lts my mom >uninstall discord and go throw up >mfw I got trolled by that bitch Trolling is a evolutionarily stable strategy
: Anonymous - 01/26/22(Wed) 18:18:51 No.67163941 >be me >playing cs >competitive match >dust2 >team full of apes cuz east eur >3 of them constantly yelling into their mic so I mute em >score is 0-10 30 KB JPG >no drive to even play >just rushing mid to die faster >get a friend request from the silent teammate >ассеpt >sends me a message saying that if we win im gonna get nudes >ask what sex is he/she >says its a secret >obviously a troll >get a sudden urge to c-- so I agree anyway >I start tryharding >score goes from 0-10 to 5-10 >switching to T >im top fragging >ffw few rounds >we win >get another message from the troll with a discord ID >add it and call the troll >joins and says here its your reward in a girl voice >activates camera >lts my mom >uninstall discord and go throw up >mfw I got trolled by that bitch Trolling is a evolutionarily stable strategy

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