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Anon has goldfish memory | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)08:47:10 No.67182368 >be me >c-- on pillow >forget about it a minute later >lay head on pillow >c-- all over my face 32 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)08:47:10 No.67182368 >be me >c-- on pillow >forget about it a minute later >lay head on pillow >c-- all over my face 32 KB JPG

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Anon works fast food | /r/Greentext

| File: br604qkbxqgq-2.jpg (11 KB, 139x199) Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)21:45:23 No.871596110 [Reply] >7 years ago >working a McDonalds >one customer I will never forget >comes up to the counter >thick foreign accent, not sure where she's from >first time ever coming to McDonald's >tells me excitedly in really bad English >orders 14 hamburgers >orders up >she opens one up and says "NO" >starts holding bun towards me >"uhhh uh yellow" >explain that it's mustard sauce >"NO NO, yellow square" >figure she wants cheeseburgers >refund her and re-ring her for cheeseburgers and redo orders >takes her 14 cheeseburgers >eats about 6 and then asks for a bag for the rest >asks if she can take a picture before I bag them for her >l don't care, go for it >unwraps one and takes picture on weird off brand smart phone >"the friends I have elsewhere will decide this is not truth, I have taken picture for those ones" >smiles and leaves idk where you are cheeburger lady but I hope to be as happy as you are about the simple s--- one day
| File: br604qkbxqgq-2.jpg (11 KB, 139x199) Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)21:45:23 No.871596110 [Reply] >7 years ago >working a McDonalds >one customer I will never forget >comes up to the counter >thick foreign accent, not sure where she's from >first time ever coming to McDonald's >tells me excitedly in really bad English >orders 14 hamburgers >orders up >she opens one up and says "NO" >starts holding bun towards me >"uhhh uh yellow" >explain that it's mustard sauce >"NO NO, yellow square" >figure she wants cheeseburgers >refund her and re-ring her for cheeseburgers and redo orders >takes her 14 cheeseburgers >eats about 6 and then asks for a bag for the rest >asks if she can take a picture before I bag them for her >l don't care, go for it >unwraps one and takes picture on weird off brand smart phone >"the friends I have elsewhere will decide this is not truth, I have taken picture for those ones" >smiles and leaves idk where you are cheeburger lady but I hope to be as happy as you are about the simple s--- one day

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Anon is going for it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)12:27:53 No.48824429 >500 word essay due tomorrow >only have 302 words Tonight's the night I end it b/r9k/s 11 KB JPG 9 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)12:35:11 No.48824506 >>48824429 (OP) # >200 words Isn't that like 5 minutes of work?
: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)12:27:53 No.48824429 >500 word essay due tomorrow >only have 302 words Tonight's the night I end it b/r9k/s 11 KB JPG 9 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)12:35:11 No.48824506 >>48824429 (OP) # >200 words Isn't that like 5 minutes of work?

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Anon is gonna become an incel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)01:42:53 No.65105132 >first day of class >get to class early so im one of the first people to sit down >sit towards the back >four stacys walk in a few minutes after I sit down >in the sea of empty seats they 22 KB JPG choose 4 seats all situated near me >all of them introduce themselves to me They're going to bully me arent they
: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)01:42:53 No.65105132 >first day of class >get to class early so im one of the first people to sit down >sit towards the back >four stacys walk in a few minutes after I sit down >in the sea of empty seats they 22 KB JPG choose 4 seats all situated near me >all of them introduce themselves to me They're going to bully me arent they

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>can a bald | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)19:36:41 No.67078320 3BOFF28B-B937-4A82-960E-314CDF983E2F.jpg 156 KB JPG Can a bald, 5'10, average looking 27 year old go kart track supervisor get a 19 year old alt gf? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)19:37:36 No.67078330 >>67078320 (OP) # >Can a bald No.
: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)19:36:41 No.67078320 3BOFF28B-B937-4A82-960E-314CDF983E2F.jpg 156 KB JPG Can a bald, 5'10, average looking 27 year old go kart track supervisor get a 19 year old alt gf? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)19:37:36 No.67078330 >>67078320 (OP) # >Can a bald No.

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Anon in Mafia City | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/19(Fri)13:59:54 No.7483696 >be me >level 1 crook >spot target >jump/rob the s--- out of SO IT WOULD SEEM him earg 12 KB JPG >money obtained >ohfuckwhatshappening.mp4 >body morphs into buff unit >level 35 boss >bodyguards all around me >making money by doing nothing >body morphs again >level 100 boss >basically own the entire city >stroll down the street >get jumped/robbed by some homeless thief and that's how a mafia works
: Anonymous 01/04/19(Fri)13:59:54 No.7483696 >be me >level 1 crook >spot target >jump/rob the s--- out of SO IT WOULD SEEM him earg 12 KB JPG >money obtained >ohfuckwhatshappening.mp4 >body morphs into buff unit >level 35 boss >bodyguards all around me >making money by doing nothing >body morphs again >level 100 boss >basically own the entire city >stroll down the street >get jumped/robbed by some homeless thief and that's how a mafia works

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Anon is dreaming | /r/Greentext

File: 8446E918-99A1-4534-B65C-6(...).png (436 KB, 860x1044) O Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)01:21:47 No.871589023 [Reply] >>871589387 >be asleep >have to take a s--- >know I'm dreaming because background is obviously unrealistic >wake up >take a huge s--- >confused I didn't hear a splash from the toilet water >wake up in real life >my ass and underwear is completely covered in s--- How has your Friday been b
File: 8446E918-99A1-4534-B65C-6(...).png (436 KB, 860x1044) O Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)01:21:47 No.871589023 [Reply] >>871589387 >be asleep >have to take a s--- >know I'm dreaming because background is obviously unrealistic >wake up >take a huge s--- >confused I didn't hear a splash from the toilet water >wake up in real life >my ass and underwear is completely covered in s--- How has your Friday been b

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Anon is a barista | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)03:10:22 No.67192069 >dad remarries after mom died >the new stepmom is the definition of MILF >she is working her ass off everyday cause of latina genes >after years of daily p--- use my mind can only think of stepmom 57 KB JPG p--- >attempt to seduce her but she is reticent >idea.jpg >what if c-- in her coffe cup so she loosen up a bit >ask her if she wants a cup of coffe >she says yes >proceed to bust a weeks worth of c-- in the cup >serve her the coffe >takes a sip >looks at me and asks me if I put pineapple juice in it >mfw my semen tastes like pineapple >she then drank the whole cup and asked for more
: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)03:10:22 No.67192069 >dad remarries after mom died >the new stepmom is the definition of MILF >she is working her ass off everyday cause of latina genes >after years of daily p--- use my mind can only think of stepmom 57 KB JPG p--- >attempt to seduce her but she is reticent >idea.jpg >what if c-- in her coffe cup so she loosen up a bit >ask her if she wants a cup of coffe >she says yes >proceed to bust a weeks worth of c-- in the cup >serve her the coffe >takes a sip >looks at me and asks me if I put pineapple juice in it >mfw my semen tastes like pineapple >she then drank the whole cup and asked for more

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Anon Drives A Truck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)00:35:38 No.871541535 >Be American >Want to go to the liquor store before it closes at 11pm >Get in my beast of a truck >Start engine, windows rattle up and down the street, the earth quakes in fear >Turn on brights, the resulting beam of 131 KB JPG light instantly blinds a passing jogger for life and bleaches a black Nissan Rogue completely white >Rev the engine, every window within 3 blocks is shattered from the sonic boom, the jogger is now dead >Fire up the ol' Toby Keith CD, all beer in town mysteriously vanishes >Start driving to the liquor store >The earth shakes >Asphalt is torn out by my wheels, and is left scattered on what was once a road >Casually drive over a compact, killing the entire family inside >Shouldn't have been in the passing lane >Get to the liquor store >Buy the store >Should be enough for a night or two >Call up redneck friends "Whooegetyarassesuperewegonnahaveusafire!" >Drive home >In the distance rumbling not unlike a thunderstorm grows closer >The earth begins to tremble, then to shake once more >Crack open a bud light >The echoing rumble quickly turns into a thunderous cacophony >Can hardly maintain balance, the house threatens to collapse >As I see a multitude of custom, beat up, and old trucks crest the horizon, the earth gives in >The entire state of Georgia crumbles and ceases to exist
: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)00:35:38 No.871541535 >Be American >Want to go to the liquor store before it closes at 11pm >Get in my beast of a truck >Start engine, windows rattle up and down the street, the earth quakes in fear >Turn on brights, the resulting beam of 131 KB JPG light instantly blinds a passing jogger for life and bleaches a black Nissan Rogue completely white >Rev the engine, every window within 3 blocks is shattered from the sonic boom, the jogger is now dead >Fire up the ol' Toby Keith CD, all beer in town mysteriously vanishes >Start driving to the liquor store >The earth shakes >Asphalt is torn out by my wheels, and is left scattered on what was once a road >Casually drive over a compact, killing the entire family inside >Shouldn't have been in the passing lane >Get to the liquor store >Buy the store >Should be enough for a night or two >Call up redneck friends "Whooegetyarassesuperewegonnahaveusafire!" >Drive home >In the distance rumbling not unlike a thunderstorm grows closer >The earth begins to tremble, then to shake once more >Crack open a bud light >The echoing rumble quickly turns into a thunderous cacophony >Can hardly maintain balance, the house threatens to collapse >As I see a multitude of custom, beat up, and old trucks crest the horizon, the earth gives in >The entire state of Georgia crumbles and ceases to exist

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Anon runs into a Karen | /r/Greentext


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Anon joins a bookclub | /r/Greentext


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Anon has standards | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)20:54:08 No.101678713 >song starts >enjoying it >female vocals come in >instantly turn off the album and never listen again 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)20:54:08 No.101678713 >song starts >enjoying it >female vocals come in >instantly turn off the album and never listen again 50 KB JPG

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Anon isn't a fattie | /r/Greentext

File: d8og2uv-96b2cc0d-9281-4f3(..).jpg (39 KB, 640x818) O fatties btfo Anonymous > Eat only when hungry > Thin Literally this easy.
File: d8og2uv-96b2cc0d-9281-4f3(..).jpg (39 KB, 640x818) O fatties btfo Anonymous > Eat only when hungry > Thin Literally this easy.

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Anon is a future vehicular accident victim. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)10:06:50 No.66062307 >Be driving >Random Eurobeat track plays on my Youtube Vanced >oH YEAHHHHHPO'RSJAWSER 60 KB JPG ASF] >ACCELERATE >60 KM/H! NOW WE NEED TO SHIFT GEAR >80 KM/H!!! SHIFT AGAIN >110, 130, 150, 160!!!! CMO00000000000000000000000000 000000000OON LETS DRIVE THIS MFKING HIGHWAYYYYYYYY >Pass over a cop's checkpoint >Think they didn't take a pic of me cuz I was fastest than light >Reach home >Realize what I did 0000000 Do00000000000000000 000000000HHHHH THIS S--- WAS SICKKKKKKKK I WANT TO DO THIS S--- AGAIN I HOPE THE COPS DIDNT CATCH MY PLATE
: Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)10:06:50 No.66062307 >Be driving >Random Eurobeat track plays on my Youtube Vanced >oH YEAHHHHHPO'RSJAWSER 60 KB JPG ASF] >ACCELERATE >60 KM/H! NOW WE NEED TO SHIFT GEAR >80 KM/H!!! SHIFT AGAIN >110, 130, 150, 160!!!! CMO00000000000000000000000000 000000000OON LETS DRIVE THIS MFKING HIGHWAYYYYYYYY >Pass over a cop's checkpoint >Think they didn't take a pic of me cuz I was fastest than light >Reach home >Realize what I did 0000000 Do00000000000000000 000000000HHHHH THIS S--- WAS SICKKKKKKKK I WANT TO DO THIS S--- AGAIN I HOPE THE COPS DIDNT CATCH MY PLATE

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Anon works in big corpo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/19(Mon)14:41:03 No.803603844 be me > wageslave in big corpo > there is a guy whose title is interview coordinator > his job is to take people off the lobby couch to the person interviewing them > literally 10 metres of walking 72 KB JPG >i asked another wageslave to send me a spreadsheet > all she did was *click* upload *click* send > "oh, thank you, that's fantastic" > i once wanted to print a piece of paper with "please keep this space tidy" > told my supervisor > he told our manager > 15 minutes debate about what goes on the раper > "ok anon, you can be in charge of this project" > mfw am a project manager now > am gonna kill myself >i cannot take it anymore anons
: Anonymous 07/01/19(Mon)14:41:03 No.803603844 be me > wageslave in big corpo > there is a guy whose title is interview coordinator > his job is to take people off the lobby couch to the person interviewing them > literally 10 metres of walking 72 KB JPG >i asked another wageslave to send me a spreadsheet > all she did was *click* upload *click* send > "oh, thank you, that's fantastic" > i once wanted to print a piece of paper with "please keep this space tidy" > told my supervisor > he told our manager > 15 minutes debate about what goes on the раper > "ok anon, you can be in charge of this project" > mfw am a project manager now > am gonna kill myself >i cannot take it anymore anons

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The Midas Touch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)11:41:28 No.65323927 >Just learned how to drive >Decided to take grandma out to see aunt >she's really old and needs to hold my arm to walk >Calls me her strongest grandkid 386 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)11:41:28 No.65323927 >Just learned how to drive >Decided to take grandma out to see aunt >she's really old and needs to hold my arm to walk >Calls me her strongest grandkid 386 KB JPG

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:01:41 No.49368159 >be a virgin >get sad >remember that you'll never catch STDS/AIDS/HIV 120 KB GIF
: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:01:41 No.49368159 >be a virgin >get sad >remember that you'll never catch STDS/AIDS/HIV 120 KB GIF

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Anon is good at math | /r/Greentext

File: Suicide.jpg (12 KB, 237x250) O Anonymous 11/14/17(Tue)10:15:05 No.9295979 >>9295985 ITT: tell us about the most autistic /sci/ related thing you've ever done Here's mine >Be me >Be a useless sack of s--- till i'm 18 >Start teaching myself math >For once in my lifetime I have self confidence >Feel like l'm literally unstoppable >Go to a restaurant >As I am paying the tab this genius idea crosses my mind >l write the definite integral of a polynomial as the tip >My logic at the time was that only someone who is good in math should deserve the tip >I smugly smile to the waitress expecting her to be confused or to compliment me >Instead she whips out her phone, types wolframalpha (I presume) and finds the solution in less than 20 seconds >Turns out that my mental estimate of 16$ was wrong and the tip actually amounts to about 300$ >Too ashamed to protest
File: Suicide.jpg (12 KB, 237x250) O Anonymous 11/14/17(Tue)10:15:05 No.9295979 >>9295985 ITT: tell us about the most autistic /sci/ related thing you've ever done Here's mine >Be me >Be a useless sack of s--- till i'm 18 >Start teaching myself math >For once in my lifetime I have self confidence >Feel like l'm literally unstoppable >Go to a restaurant >As I am paying the tab this genius idea crosses my mind >l write the definite integral of a polynomial as the tip >My logic at the time was that only someone who is good in math should deserve the tip >I smugly smile to the waitress expecting her to be confused or to compliment me >Instead she whips out her phone, types wolframalpha (I presume) and finds the solution in less than 20 seconds >Turns out that my mental estimate of 16$ was wrong and the tip actually amounts to about 300$ >Too ashamed to protest

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Anon takes a bath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/18(Mon)15:18:31 No.781833365 >be me, 17 >khv, ugly face >have brother, 1 year BRING IT ON younger >brothers gf is 7/10 qt3.14 >sometimes gives me weird eyes, but I don't think 35 KB JPG too much about it >come home one day and find her in my room's toilet, door locked >w--.dll >wanted to take a soak before going out for the evening >brother taking a shower in his own, so she had to use mine >say I need to pee, ask her to open it >she opens it in a towel >she looks perfect in it, body makes her a 10/10 >she catches me looking at her and smiles >"why don't you get in the tub with me, anon" >holyshitthisisit.mpeg >take off my clothes, get in the bathtub >"close your eyes" >close my eyes for a millisecond >the entire building jerks >nononotnow.pdf >feel the floor give way >hear her screaming fading into the distance >open my eyes >feel cold icy winds rushing past my ear >the bathtub has 4 wheels and is being drawn by a horse through a forest >"Hey you, you were trying to cross the border right" >Too late, I turn around >Elder Scrolls V:Skyrim >Todd Howard you camelfucking son of a bitch, you've done it again
: Anonymous 10/08/18(Mon)15:18:31 No.781833365 >be me, 17 >khv, ugly face >have brother, 1 year BRING IT ON younger >brothers gf is 7/10 qt3.14 >sometimes gives me weird eyes, but I don't think 35 KB JPG too much about it >come home one day and find her in my room's toilet, door locked >w--.dll >wanted to take a soak before going out for the evening >brother taking a shower in his own, so she had to use mine >say I need to pee, ask her to open it >she opens it in a towel >she looks perfect in it, body makes her a 10/10 >she catches me looking at her and smiles >"why don't you get in the tub with me, anon" >holyshitthisisit.mpeg >take off my clothes, get in the bathtub >"close your eyes" >close my eyes for a millisecond >the entire building jerks >nononotnow.pdf >feel the floor give way >hear her screaming fading into the distance >open my eyes >feel cold icy winds rushing past my ear >the bathtub has 4 wheels and is being drawn by a horse through a forest >"Hey you, you were trying to cross the border right" >Too late, I turn around >Elder Scrolls V:Skyrim >Todd Howard you camelfucking son of a bitch, you've done it again

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Anon Appreciates Dads | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)20:29:06 No.871553062 >be me, young anon >fear social interaction for no reason >have the great ability to converse with people out of my age group, can talk about anything >dads are the best, they can talk about anything for so long pis talk me i lonly 57 KB JPG >can talk to any type of dad and they are like your best friend >only group of peoples that I'm good with interacting with thanks dads
: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)20:29:06 No.871553062 >be me, young anon >fear social interaction for no reason >have the great ability to converse with people out of my age group, can talk about anything >dads are the best, they can talk about anything for so long pis talk me i lonly 57 KB JPG >can talk to any type of dad and they are like your best friend >only group of peoples that I'm good with interacting with thanks dads

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